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myself_i_must_remake's Blog

The 2014 Virgin

Posted by , 01 September 2014 - - - - - - · 17 views

1. I’m going to try to make Sunday night (under whose aegis fall the wee hours of Monday morning) blog night, even though I posted my last entry on Tuesday. I want to limit/commit myself to one entry a week. Writing out my thoughts disentangles them, perhaps because I’m not sure I can fully feel and express an emotion at the same time. If I have it on pap...

Yukio Mishima, Confessions of a Mask (1949)

Posted by , 27 August 2014 - - - - - - · 90 views

One of those contradictions about myself I’ll either sit down one day to puzzle out or else cover over with a rug is that, on the one hand, I think gays are misled at large to want marriage because to do so is to want to parody an aspect of straight culture itself on the brink of obsolescence while, on the other hand, what I look for in gay literature is...

annual nightmare.

Posted by , 04 February 2014 - - - - - - · 166 views

It's been a while, I know, but I'm very busy anymore, and just sick of writing expressively in general. I'm going through a backlash period against writing aspirations, caused in great part by exposure to a great number of young people I meet who "want to be a writer." It's not that that's a bad thing. If more people wrote wholeheartedly, literacy in gene...


Posted by , 30 June 2013 - - - - - - · 196 views

I had set out, metaphorically I guess, after my last entry, to make life adjustments so that this entry would be more interesting, more hospitable for readers. I was so excited to blog today that I'm writing this now, on the absolute brink of passing out for the night.

I have had an excellent week. I don’t know if I conducted an exorcism without knowing...

this entry is extremely boring.

Posted by , 25 June 2013 - - - - - - · 307 views

This entry will be solipsistic and tedious. I’m mostly just clearing my head.

I’m spending the next year at my parents’ house, here near Cleveland.

Obviously, it’s hard to be wholeheartedly thrilled about this. First of all there’s the shame: twenty-five? Still leaving with the parents at twenty-five? If I had whatever impulse many guys have kick in t...


Posted by , 10 April 2013 - - - - - - · 229 views

Hello, all. Time for more faux-philosophical mumbo-jumbo.

The theme of my 19th-American literature course this semester is sympathy; it's a popular topic in the field. Readers can obviously understand Uncle Tom's Cabin  as a massive ploy to engender sympathy for slaves as humans instead of objects. Other pieces from the same period hit the same note ad n...

assimilation, liberation.

Posted by , 27 March 2013 - - - - - - · 338 views

Contrarian that I am, I'm actually finding something to mope about with the practically inevitable legalization of gay marriage.

Before I get myself into trouble with anyone, I will say that I support gay marriage, though not quite as enthusiastically as other fellow queers. For our safety and for our acceptance in society at large, the ability to form f...

i only blog in crisis.

Posted by , 05 January 2013 - - - - - - · 266 views

Because I cannot fall asleep within five minutes, my guilt is forcing me to do something, anything, even writing a blog.This is how I am now. If I have any energy, I force myself to do something with it. This "I" is a problem, however, because more and more I'm realizing I don't control it/him/I. My hormones have decided I am writing a blog. Later they mi...

On Process / In Process

Posted by , 16 December 2012 - - - - - - · 226 views

James Savik asked that I submit to his forum topic, The Art of the Short Story .The truth is, however, that I've never written a short story I really consider successful. I have a poor relationship with convention. I do know, however, that I'll put out one I like eventually, and I know that in spite of the failures of my projects as coherent wholes, that...

microwaving cats.

Posted by , 28 November 2012 - - - - - - · 238 views

I had a weird dream during my nap yesterday.My roommate Kate's cat, Mia (Pookie), has some strange behaviors. She tries to flirt with doors to make them open. When she wants to look behind her, she doesn't look over her shoulder but puts her head backward and upside-down until she falls over. When she grooms herself, she grooms everything near her...

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