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myself_i_must_remake's Blog


Posted by , 09 October 2014 · 268 views

I have made mention before, not just in a recent blog but in blogs I’ve long since deleted, of my father’s affairs and of my mother’s dependence upon them as an excuse for her alcoholism. I think of the whole imbroglio as an uncanny demonstration of the power of myth. Inexplicably bad things happen to man, so man invents the myth of God in order to recast...


Posted by , 30 September 2014 · 145 views

I failed, after less than two months, at my once-a-Sunday blog requirement.

Thursday I turned in that essay I had been working on for potential publication.

Over the weekend I hung out with my ex, and for the n-th time we decided, against everyone's better judgment, to give things another go.

The professor I drunkenly emailed, and who gave me the oppor...


Posted by , 21 September 2014 · 229 views

The other night, in the depths of YouTube, I found myself watching some radio personality interview Lorde. I had heard Lorde speak before, and so I was already familiar both with how jarringly mature she seems and with how pointing out her so-called maturity has itself already become trite. I say “so-called” because the more I think about it, the more I r...


Posted by , 14 September 2014 · 239 views

I don’t have time today for one of my long-winded, philosophical mumbo-jumbo entries. I’m still working on that essay I mentioned last week, but I’m going to keep up my commitment to post every Sunday, so here below are some impressions from my week.

1. Earlier this week, two co-workers and I were sorting out files in order to purge the oldest ones into...

Blind Spots

Posted by , 07 September 2014 · 210 views


There can be no doubt left that I have an alcohol problem. From observing my mother, I know that alcoholism, probably like any addiction, generates a blind spot proportionate to the strength of the addiction. When my mother does not feel well, she blames the weather or some unseen mold in the house or an insect that bit her. When I say she does not...

The 2014 Virgin

Posted by , 01 September 2014 · 251 views

1. I’m going to try to make Sunday night (under whose aegis fall the wee hours of Monday morning) blog night, even though I posted my last entry on Tuesday. I want to limit/commit myself to one entry a week. Writing out my thoughts disentangles them, perhaps because I’m not sure I can fully feel and express an emotion at the same time. If I have it on pap...

Yukio Mishima, Confessions of a Mask (1949)

Posted by , 27 August 2014 · 205 views

One of those contradictions about myself I’ll either sit down one day to puzzle out or else cover over with a rug is that, on the one hand, I think gays are misled at large to want marriage because to do so is to want to parody an aspect of straight culture itself on the brink of obsolescence while, on the other hand, what I look for in gay literature is...

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