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7 Comments
I may be evil but I do have standards.
Knowing that nobody has actually bothered to read the Pork, I mean Stimilus Package, I would insert the following clause:
Amendment 301.23.451 All states and municipalaties that accept stimilius funds are required to have all of their citizens renounce their faith and begin to worship the evil goddess Globulus. In early April, 100 of the nations best basketball players must be sacrificed to Globulus to avoid a plague of boils and rats.
Amendment 301.23.452 In the event of a plague of boils and rats, the federal goverenment will send 10,000 cats and 10,000 liters of hydrogen peroxide to the afflicted region.
Amendment 301.23.452 In the event that Globulus is further angered, citizens are advised to put their heads between their legs and kiss their ass goodbye because after we've paid for all this bullshit we'll be so broke that we couldn't afford a firecracker much less fight off an evil diety.
Hail Globulus! Give her your children because they annoy the shit out of me in restaurants and on airplanes.
Ah the peace of Globulus the Child-eater. Boy are the right to lifers going to be pissed! Not only are millions of kids going to be eaten by a dusty Babylonian diety, they've got to give up Jebus too!
Just remember- it's a change. Maybe not the one you were looking for but you didn't read the fine print did you?
Bu-wah-hah-hah-hah
Knowing that nobody has actually bothered to read the Pork, I mean Stimilus Package, I would insert the following clause:
Amendment 301.23.451 All states and municipalaties that accept stimilius funds are required to have all of their citizens renounce their faith and begin to worship the evil goddess Globulus. In early April, 100 of the nations best basketball players must be sacrificed to Globulus to avoid a plague of boils and rats.
Amendment 301.23.452 In the event of a plague of boils and rats, the federal goverenment will send 10,000 cats and 10,000 liters of hydrogen peroxide to the afflicted region.
Amendment 301.23.452 In the event that Globulus is further angered, citizens are advised to put their heads between their legs and kiss their ass goodbye because after we've paid for all this bullshit we'll be so broke that we couldn't afford a firecracker much less fight off an evil diety.
Hail Globulus! Give her your children because they annoy the shit out of me in restaurants and on airplanes.
Ah the peace of Globulus the Child-eater. Boy are the right to lifers going to be pissed! Not only are millions of kids going to be eaten by a dusty Babylonian diety, they've got to give up Jebus too!
Just remember- it's a change. Maybe not the one you were looking for but you didn't read the fine print did you?
Bu-wah-hah-hah-hah
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7 Comments On This Entry
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Demetz
12 March 2009 - 09:12 AM
Parents who don't teach their children discipline should be thrown out of the restaurant on general principle >_>
Mark Arbour
12 March 2009 - 01:51 PMDemetz, on March 12 2009, 09:12 AM, said:
Parents who don't teach their children discipline should be thrown out of the restaurant on general principle >_>
And people who say that usually don't have children.
GaryRoger
12 March 2009 - 07:32 PM
Nonsense, Mark. 
My parents would never have let me get away with the rude behavior so many parents let their kids get away with these days. It's gotten to the point where you can't even enjoy a meal in a nice restaurant without some kid running around the place shouting at the top of his lungs while his parents sit there seemingly oblivious to it all. Too many parents want to be their kid's best friends instead of their parents. That wasn't the case in the 60s when I was growing up.
James, sadly you're spot-on with your proposed amendments.
My parents would never have let me get away with the rude behavior so many parents let their kids get away with these days. It's gotten to the point where you can't even enjoy a meal in a nice restaurant without some kid running around the place shouting at the top of his lungs while his parents sit there seemingly oblivious to it all. Too many parents want to be their kid's best friends instead of their parents. That wasn't the case in the 60s when I was growing up.James, sadly you're spot-on with your proposed amendments.
Mark Arbour
13 March 2009 - 12:21 PMGaryRoger, on March 12 2009, 07:32 PM, said:
Nonsense, Mark. My parents would never have let me get away with the rude behavior so many parents let their kids get away with these days. It's gotten to the point where you can't even enjoy a meal in a nice restaurant without some kid running around the place shouting at the top of his lungs while his parents sit there seemingly oblivious to it all. Too many parents want to be their kid's best friends instead of their parents. That wasn't the case in the 60s when I was growing up.
James, sadly you're spot-on with your proposed amendments.
My parents would never have let me get away with the rude behavior so many parents let their kids get away with these days. It's gotten to the point where you can't even enjoy a meal in a nice restaurant without some kid running around the place shouting at the top of his lungs while his parents sit there seemingly oblivious to it all. Too many parents want to be their kid's best friends instead of their parents. That wasn't the case in the 60s when I was growing up.James, sadly you're spot-on with your proposed amendments.
Do you have kids?
sat8997
13 March 2009 - 05:25 PM
I have kids...mine know how to behave in a restaurant.
Demetz and GaryRoger are spot on. If your child isn't old enough to behave in a restaurant then don't take him/her to one. If your child is old enough to behave in a restaurant and doesn't, then the parents aren't doing their job.
Demetz and GaryRoger are spot on. If your child isn't old enough to behave in a restaurant then don't take him/her to one. If your child is old enough to behave in a restaurant and doesn't, then the parents aren't doing their job.
GaryRoger
13 March 2009 - 06:24 PM
Mark, I don't have kids, but I eat almost all my meals in restaurants so I have a pretty good sampling of what parents are up to in terms of disciplining their kids these days. I don't see many of them trying to keep their kids in line when they're out in public. Granted there are some restaurants, like the local burger place with a wall of games for the kids where behavior rules are loser than at more formal places. I'm OK with some rambunctious at those sorts of places. But when I'm going out for a good steak dinner I don't wanna have to deal with a screaming kid at the next table. I think it's reasonable to expect that at an expensive restaurant where I have to wear something other than my usual jeans and t-shirts. 
sat8997, I'm glad to see there are some good parents left in the world. If your kids are like me they'll appreciate what mommy taught them as they get older.
sat8997, I'm glad to see there are some good parents left in the world. If your kids are like me they'll appreciate what mommy taught them as they get older.
Drewbie
16 March 2009 - 07:49 AM
I agree with the restaurant thing. Don't take em unless they can be quiet and not run around and make noises 
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