So Called Chaos: Otherwise Occupied, the first part in a three part story, has been posted in the eFiction section. Here's the link if anyone is interested.
http://www.gayauthors.org/eficiton/viewstory.php?sid=357

Steven and Aaron, though dating for over a year, are still very much in the closet and need some time alone together. And after nearly being caught by the swim coach in the locker room, they decide to rush home to finish what they started. But as soon as they leave the school it seems the universe has other plans for them. One frustrating situation after another arises, thwarting them at every turn. Whether it's stranded friends, love sick cheerleaders, or mothers returning home early, their patience will be stretched beyond the breaking point. And before the sun rises, friendships will be cemented, secrets will be revealed and love will be tested.



Jason R.

A great opening chapter and an entertaining read! I really enjoyed the dialogue. I love friendly sarcasm and irreverence. It's good medicine for whatever ails you.

I'm in for the rest.

Conner

Conner, thanks for the comment. I should be posting the next part very soon.

Jason R.

Part Two of So Called Chaos is now posted. Here's the link http://www.gayauthors.org/eficiton/viewstory.php?sid=357

Jason R.

Great story. The dialogue, as mentioned, was very good; it was less awkward than many stories.

By the way, are you an Alanis Morissette fan by any chance? (If you aren't, then the title is the reason I'm asking)

Menzo

Though I'm not really a fan of her music. I got the title from her song of the same name. My roommate at the time, Daniel, loves her to death and listens to her music most of the time. And after hearing So Called Chaos so many times, I began thinking of what that means.

I took So Called Chaos to mean that now matter what is happening in our lives, how chaotic our lives become, it really is just a stepping stone of learning. Which is why I called this story So Called Chaos, Steven and Aaron believe chaos is surrounding them, but what it really is, is the two of them growing and learning as humans.

So Called Chaos was a working title only, but after a while, it grew on me and the title stuck. Now, I couldn't think of another title to call it even if I wanted too.

Jason R.

Though I am curious about what you mean when you said, the dialogue is less awkward then other stories. Care to elaborate for me?

Firstly, I love Daniel (I absolutely adore Alanis)

Secondly, you seem to have a very good grasp of your character's personalities. I find the dialogue forced and unrealistic in most first chapters (and sometimes throughout the whole story) and I really felt as if your characters spoke in a realistic manner. It didn't seem so contrived and false.

Menzo

There are two reasons for that Menzo.

First, So Called Chaos was re-written about eight times over the course of a year. You should of seen the first couple of drafts. *shudders*

Second, my editor really polished it up, I must give vwl all the credit for the final product.

The final part should be posted later on today.

I convey your love for Daniel, he'll probably blush and pretend he doesn't care. But I bet he'll find this site and read your words over and over again.

Jason R.

This was my favourite exchange between Aaron and Steven in chapter 2:




It contributed nicely to the chapter title. Again, really well done.

I did have difficulty understanding Steven's words to Tyler:



I can respect Steven's choice in not coming out to Tyler, but this statement seemed unnecessary even if it was said as an intro into his second statement. Anyway, it's just me feeling badly for Tyler.

Looking forward to the concluding chapter.


Conner

P.S. This would make a great serial story.

And for those of you who might not know, vwl is none other than our own lovely rec, author of the wonderful Jake's Hand.

Looking forward to the next part, Jason. This is a great story.

Sharon

Wow, I have read it and it's really good! I noticed that you haven't mentioned the broken ankle. Will it be serious? The second chapter will be about the party, I suppose. Update quick!

Nice story

Ieshwar

P.S I just saw that the second chap is out! Going to read it and post here soon!

Conner,
I've been debating on how to reply to this post without giving away certain things. I can't say wait until the final post, part three, because...well trust me I can't. Yet I don't think I want to explain it just yet either. Let's just say, that everything is written for a reason and since I don't believe in writing filler, you have to wait and see...down the road...whenever that might be, if the creek don't rise. Does that make since?

Writing that scene between Steven and Aaron was a lot of fun for me. Because I swear, Steven and Aaron had by that time taken a life of their own and the words coming from their mouths was a source of constant amusement. I might be the writer but they are alive inside my head. Anyway, thanks.

Jason R.

PS: Tyler is a favorite character of mine, and somewhere in the mess that is my computer files, he has his own story laid out in outlines. But it's a secret.


To Sharon I say thank you for you comment. All HAIL VWL!!!!!!

To Ieshwar, you wish is my command. As soon as I'm done typing this I will post the final part of So Called Chaos. Just for you.

Part three is up here's the link http://www.gayauthors.org/eficiton/viewstory.php?sid=357

Only for me! Oh, thanks so much. I just read the whole story and it's fabulous! But like others mentioned, this could have beeen an amazing serial story. There's so much potential in it and trusting your excellent writing capabilities, you would have done justice to it. Your story got an uncanny flow and the characters are so real! Great dialogues too! Reading each chapter was a pleasure. Thanks for sharing such a marvelous story with us.

Hoping to read more of your stories (please don't waste such a talent!)

Ieshwar

Well, Ieshwar, you're going to have to share! Let me second everything else you had to say.

Now for Jason R. Dude, what's up with that ending??? It begs for a fourth chapter. Here's what an ending sounds like "...and they lived happily ever after."

I'm definitely looking forward to reading more of your work.

Conner

Thanks Ieshwar, you might be giving my talent as a writer too much credit, but thank you very much. And as for wasting my talent for writing, I'm in the middle of a brand new story. And this one isn't a short story I can promise you. But that's several months away from being posted, as I said before, I do love the re-writing proscess. But maybe, in the mean time, I'll keep posting small short stories here and there. Maybe brief continuations of So Called Chaos, perhaps I'll write about the next day.


Conner, I know the ending is a bit abrupt. I know there seems to have many loose ends, but in my defense, I don't agree with the "happily ever after endings". Besides the fact that no one lives happily ever after, I always like a story that seems to go on, to continue, after the author stops writing. Just because I stopped writing So Called Chaos, Steven and Aaron still continue to live and struggle. That being said, I love the idea of three's, or multiple of threes and I wrote what I call trapdoors into the story for that very purpose. If and when I decide to go back to Steven and Aaron, I already have the groundwork, the plot devices are there, all I need to do is fill in the blanks. If and when I do go back, it will all make sense because it's already laid out from the first conception. I hope that makes sense.

And just remember, this was concieved as a very long day in the lives of Steven and Aaron. Both of these characters have many more days left to share with us.

Jason R.

In the meantime, if you want to read more of my work, check out my blog, real stories of my real life in narrative.

Great! Another realist! So, you think I hang out here at GA for realism, eh? Not on your life. I've got 56 years of real-life drama. I don't need any more. Escapism is what I need! Pure, delicious, wanton escapism.

Fine. It's your story. I'll recover....eventually.

There's definitely romanticism in your story. So, uhmm...you know, there's hope.

Conner

Okay Conner, you caught me. I'm a realist, I'll admit it. But if I may quote my favorite poet, Arthur Rimbaud, "There is only one unbearable thing, that nothing is unbearable." It's really not my fault, I swear, I was an impressible youth when I first read him. Though he also said, "There is nothing new in the world, all that could be written has been written." Or something along those lines. So maybe I'm......Ooo...look...cookies

Jason R.

Dayum, you write great stories too! I concur, the conversations were awesome : D

I like the ending. It's bittersweet, and yeah, very realistic. I'm sure all of us go through the same kind of fear as Aaron, and I can certainly relate to it.

As well, I'm surprised how developed your characters were in just three short sections. It's amazing

Keep writing!