Discuss Ieshwar's story "French Kiss", in this thread.


Spoilers below!!!





Spoilers below!!!





Spoilers below!!!

There's not much I can say about this story.

A delightful tale of love at first sight, with embarrassing mistakes galore. I think we could all do with a younger brother like Chris. Hey, I'm not fussy -- an older brother like Chris would be just as good

Thanks, Ieshwar, for a simply magical little story

Yes, it is a sweet romance in an exotic setting. It's laid out simply, with descriptions of equally pleasant characters. It's good to be reminded that somewhere out there, there's someone waiting for you. They don't have to go through the discomfort of not knowing whether the other guy is gay, but they still have to find out whether they can attract him.

The dialogs are realistic, and the scenery superb. And any story letting people believe French guys are hot is a nice one!

This story made me go Awwwww all the way....lol

It was soooo sweet and beautiful....I mean a kiss under the rain is sooo romantic

Great job there, Ieshwar....I really liked the story....Keep up the great work.

The BeaStKid

A wonderful, sweet and poignant story, Ieshwar!

I share BeaStKid's opinion... this is really romantic. Great job there, Ieshwar.

I'm gonna go and look for my own french guy.

*sighs* So romantic, Ieshwar. I wonder what's in store for Nathan and David, knowing they live in different countires. Who's going to move, or will one of them move at all? Maybe they'll just have a Summer fling and move on. I hope not though

Yes, Ieshwar, why didn't you have a lengthy piece of dialog letting us know explicitly that this was love at first sight AND forever?

Actually, I think your plea is answered by this, NJ:

QUOTE

“I love you too, Nathan,” David said without any hesitation, “And you’re right. If we trust each other and we’ll brave all problems. We’ll make it work.”

Hi guys and gals,

THANKS! For such awesome comments. It's my first 'happy-happy' love story; for once, my story have no tears, sufferings, pain or even death! For a moment, I doubted if I would be able to write it but it turned out to be fun to write. Like I said previously, I'm still learning and would like to 'experiment' a bit.

And Bondwriter, some French guys are really good-looking. Olivier Mine (HOT!!!), Laurent (the guy from Chiffres et Lettres), Jean-Baptiste Maunier...

Yeah, I have omitted a small part of the original story. I wasn't sure if it was good. I feared that it would be kind of too much and make it quite confusing. Here's the section if you want to read it.



I had decided to omit this part. Good or bad, I don't know. But I did it.

Anyway, thanks once more for your comments. You can't imagine how important they're for me.

Waiting for more comments.

Ieshwar

Ieshwar, this was great!

I loved the lead in, the hesitancy, the growing openness.

As for your deletion, I like it! Better to leave that up to the viewer's imagination in this case, as you did, IMHO.

Yeah, I agree with CJ about the deletion. I actually asked about it, that's how manipulative I am. So, now, you've had full 'behind the scenes' revelations.

As for Laurent Romejko (who turned 42, but totally doesn't look his age), I agree he's cute. And it's funny you mention him, because he also does the weather forecast on the morning news.
What about Benoît Magimel?

Well, for that we need to thank Bondwriter, my great beta-reader who gives handy and amzing advices. Merci Francois!

Benoit Magimel? A hot guy and I don't know him...

Now I got to go. I HAVE to revise for my physics assessment tomorrow, though I soooo want to read all these amazing stories.

C ya all tomorrow,
Ieshwar

Umm... okay....

First, I liked this story. It was cute, definitely. Very warm and fuzzy (well except for the part about getting cold and wet I guess, lol).

Even so, I can't help but have a lil ~twitchtwitch~ happening at the whole love at first sight idea. That's really the only thing that bothers me since I know that's usually lust at first sight and not love at first sight, y'know? Still, it's not exactly gonna lower my appreciation of the story. Delightful job, Ieshwar.




And I have to admit... the idea of twitchy eyebrows when embarassed was adorable.

That's the sweetest story, Ieshwar!

French men are definitely hot.

If you ever lengthen this story, please add a conversation between Nathan, David and Chris...one where Chris notices them smiling/flirting and, very easily, puts 2 and 2 together. Then he teases the hell out of them That would be fun.

Actually, that makes me wonder if Chris didn't totally set up this "romance" in the first place. Or am I stating the obvious?

Conner

I'll say it again for good measure...It was a very nice, sweet story. Simply lovely

Thanks for the lovely comments, Razor.

I agree with you about the validity of love at first sight but when I wanted to write this story, I just pushed all 'realistic' thoughts to the back of my head as the little dreamer inside me took the control. After all, it's good to dream too. The day we stop dreaming, it's the day we stop living.



Thanks for such nice comments; they always make me smile.

It seems that you understood Chris very well; he's exactly the type of brother who'll never miss an opportunity to tease Nathan. Hope you can imagine the trip back home. Buut I had left all this to the imagination of the reader.

As for Chris setting them up, I had never planned it. But after I wrote the story, I noticed that it seemed like Chris set them up. But that's up to the reader once again to decide. Either the two boys got a guardian angel looking over them or a sweet brother and friend called Chris...



Thanks a lot, Menzo. It's nice to hear that no one cried reading my story this time.

Wonderful! I loved this Ieshwar.

You have some of the best lines!





are 2 of my favorites. I love the mental image of 2 drops of rain becoming 1.

And I really liked that the younger brother went to all that trouble because of what Chris went through. It's not often I read stories that show family getting involved like that.

Thanks yaalc! Escpacially about the lines.

I was looking for something to describe Nathan's surging emotion and feelings. And after days of torment, I managed to pull this out!

Take care,
Ieshwar

The second line reminds me of love scenes/lines between heroes and heroines of Bollywood Movies!! lol...

P.S
Did I just overtake your post count, Ieshwar??!!
*Stares at the screen with an open-mouthed, dumbfounded expression on his face not believing the stats for even a second*

Am I that bad? Just joking. Yeah, it does ressembles, now that you talk about it. Who knows, perhaps, subconsciously, I did pull it from there.

It was great nevertheless...My anthology entry for the next season is somewhat inspired from bollywood too...lol

Granted, way late for the comment, but ya, awwwwwwwwwwww, it's such a nice cute story.

As for the part that you decided to exclude,, well it's was a good idea that you shared it with us. Personally I like to know what the author thinks as for what do the author think the character are in the future.

Thanks, Frenchcanadian!

Glad that you liked it and posted such nice comments! But it's never late to comment!

Take care,
Ieshwar