Discuss Menzoberranzen's story "The Peculiarity of Obsession " in this thread.




Spoilers below!!!





Spoilers below!!!





Spoilers below!!!

An interesting and intriguing read. This story examines parts of relationships not often covered, and does it very well.

Is obsession healthy? One of the characters in this story believes it leads to bliss, but the other character involved didn't appear to agree. In the process, they caused pain in others (Wesley's wife and family, and Vian) -- were they just selfish or were they being honest about their feelings?

I love a story that makes me think, and this one definitely has succeeded. I can't help feel sorry for Vian, and even for Avery. I don't really know why, but I'm not sorry for Wesley. Is that because of the ages of the two characters? When I first started reading the story, I though Avery was also older -- it took me a while to realise that he was the same age as Vian. There was the implication that Avery had been "aged" by his experiences as a child, but we don't get a good feel for what those experiences were.

On a technical note, the quotations selected were very apt and well placed. The introduction also set the flavour of the story very well, foreshadowing what was going to happen without giving away essential detail.

Thank you, Menzoberranzen! A masterful piece.

A finely crafted story. Reading it a second time around, and not having my eyes hunting the possible typo, I got a lot more of the atmosphere and the mystery. I couldn't help thinking about Stefan Zweig's short stories, maybe because of the themes and characters. The characters remain enigmas though we get to know lots about them. The language is finely chiseled, Menzo using the whole range of vocabulary available to him.

I cannot say I ended up smiling once I was done reading, but this is nevertheless a beautiful story.

What a wonderful, thought provoking story . I truly enjoyed it!

Thanks guys! Graeme, people weren't supposed to feel sorry for Wesley. I tried to show that, despite losing everything, he was completely satisfied by the affair. I was inspired by a variety of sources, and I loved the plot idea, but I wasn't sure that it would translate into a good story. I'm glad that you all enjoyed it, though

One question for all of you who read this: Should I have been more explicit with Avery's childhood experiences? My editor thought I should, but I felt it was better to leave it ambiguous. I's love to know your thoughts on this.

Definitely a thought provoking piece, and very well done.

To answer your question, IMHO, yes, given Avery's actions and end, I think it might have helped, slightly, to understand him a little better. One thing to bear in mind; unlike you, who have the character in mind, your editor has only the words to go on, so often sees things that that writer can't.
CJ

I would suggest leaving it very vague, or to give a strong indication. Anything in between is just distracting for the readers. Given that you had those memories near the end, I would say it would be better to give some more detail. Just my opinion

Perfect the way it is.

Hi Menzo,

What a marvellous masterpiece! Just three words- I LOVED IT!

First, the story- it is original in the way you dealt in it. I noticed that due to this 'affair', both Wesley and Avery became free. Wesley from his social obligations and mundane life and Avery from Vian's relationship and perhaps a heavy life. And you're so at ease with words. Wow! And you made full use of it.

Speaking of characters, my fav is Avery. I had to feel for him; he's so... like a broken china which you care for. I found the end bittersweet. Perhaps only this way he can be happy. And Wesley... I don't know. Just glad that he finally found peace and happiness.

But speaking of the obsession, if Avery and Wesley are obsessed (rather blinded) by their lust, I find Vian quite obsessed too, with his relationship. It seems that he knew that the relation won't work yet he tried. He wanted (or as Avery said, needed) Avery to be like the man he dreamt of. He was never able to let Avery go. This way, he couldn't even accept Jake well. Was it love or obsession? I don't know if I'm wrong but that's what I read.

As for your question, I find that the italics told us enough. Avery is really nice the way it is. But if you did tell us, I'm sure we wouldn't have minded.

Ieshwar

WOW...Menzo, your story has elicited so many emotions within me that I have no idea what to feel and what not to...lol

You wrote on a very off-beat topic which hasn't been broached by many authors...Kudos to you for trying and delivering such a marvellous piece of art. It truly is beautiful....No words to describe it for any words that I use would be inadequate.



The BeaStKid

P.S
I don't think I would like the story in any other way...that's the answer to your question...

what can I say?

I found this beautifully disturbing. And extremely well written.

I found it very thought provoking. The huge contrast in the 3 main characters was very well done. Each with his own past, and each with a different need to be fulfilled.

As to Avery's past? I liked that it was vague but at the same time I wonder what was there that would make it so that Avery's happiness involved death? The fact that he offed himself to be content was very disturbing to me.

Not to complain but I think you should have included a disclaimer about the suicide and references just in case someone reading was feeling that way?

otherwise excellent work!

Thanks so much for all the kind words, as well as the answers to my question.

yaalc, your concern was the very reason I left it so vague. I wasn't sure if I could invent a past horrible enough, yet still realistic, that would have made suicide the best choice. This way, the reader can use their imagination.

I don't like disclaimers unless they deal with legal issues, and that is why there was no disclaimer attached. On nifty I include them, simply because of the legalities attached to erotica.

Anyway, I'm exhausted and I just got my computer working again, so I won't write anything else now. Thanks again for the great response to the story!

Boy I could have been a little more vague there eh?

What I meant by disclaimer was a note indicating the story contained suicide. For some people it's very disturbing to read about that topic and would rather know in advance.