Discuss WrathOfMagneto's story "Captivated", in this thread.




Spoilers below!!!





Spoilers below!!!





Spoilers below!!!

Captivated is the name of the story, and captivated is what I was as I read it. The way the story cut off at the end was a shock and while I may have wanted the author to have taken it to the next stage, at least this way I can daydream the answer I want to that last statement.

One of the things that struck me as I read the story was how realistic the situation and characters were. The hesitations, the fumbling, the minor mistakes -- all done to perfection. It was also the little details that stood out, such as white-knuckled grip and the heavy breathing after a near-accident. I've been there and I knew exactly what the Tyler was feeling.

It didn't escape me that the day after Tyler said he had never punched anyone he knocked someone out, and for what was a pretty minor reason. It shows the depth of feeling that Tyler had, that he would reflexively lash out in defense of Justin, but was it a good thing for him to have done? We don't know if he had never hit anyone for moral reasons, or because he just never had a reason to. I suspect it was more the former, because there was the implication that he was harassed after Justin was outed.

The technique the author used of having the letter at the start, and then repeated at the end was also very effective. It gave the story a sense of anticipation, as the reader waited to find out what the opening meant.

I'm not sure what else to say -- a wonderful, touching tale that I hope, wish, pray has a happy ending.

This is a great story, and the ending leaves us very unsatisfied; with the mirrored thoughts at the beginning, my optimistic side makes me feel like Tyler will manage to find Justin before anything happens. The whole time reading, I felt like telling Tyler to do the right thing, but in real life, lots of us do not behave like heroes.

Congrats to WoM over this great short story, without living-deads or superheroes, but that grabs the reader through a roller-coaster of emotions nonetheless.

"I kissed him. Just a quick peck on the lips, and I pulled back to look into his eyes.

His eyes were blank, and his face completely expressionless. I think I broke him for a second, and he looked so adorable that I leaned in for a longer kiss."

Adorable. Beyond adorable. "I think I broke him for a second" <--------- you know how every know and then you get one of those oh-jeez-I-must-look-like-a-dumbass-grinning-like-this-but-god-it's-so-great smiles? Yep.



It makes me happy. I find myself wishing for resolution, though. All the same, I definitely enjoyed it. Great job!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Maybe in the fall, we'll find out about a mysterious duo of caped crusaders playing humiliating pranks on the school's bullies and jocks. A dynamic duo that know what's 'Worth Fighting For'. Pulllease? (I have a few ideas about possible ordeals, which involve pink underwear and webcams; though I bet you'll be creative enough!)

frowns.

it just stopped...

that's not good.

make more.


Lugh

I liked it a lot, but the cliffhanger ending is a doozy... I do hope that this means there will be more?

Great job!
CJ

I think the begining gives the ending a ray of hope it wouldn't have had otherwise. I loved this story from the start to the very last letter. Thanks Wrathofmagneto

In my opinion, that was pure, unadulterated, romantic slop! Furthermore....

I loved it!!!

So, tell me, how loud do I have to beg to get more....and, no, I am not waiting for another anthology to roll around either!!!

Conner

Seconded... moar plzkthnx.

Thank you so much Graeme! *tackles you with huge huggles*

The scene where Tyler punched out the kid was supposed to come off as a shock. He had never hit anyone because of his moral reasons. I wanted to show how much Tyler was growing to care for Justin, and what he'd do to protect him. It was also because of his frustration with the situation, a situation that he felt Justin had no reason to be in.

Thanks again!

Haha, this is EXACTLY what I was trying to do with this story! Something in the real world, with flawed characters. Sowwy about the cliffhanger ending, maybe in the fall we'll see more of Tyler and Justin... :]

Hehehe, I definitely know what you're talking about. I frequently get them reading your work, and like during the scene in your anthology when Joey discovers masturbation...lol. Too cute.

*HUGGLES!!!*

OMG, This is also post number 100 for me! YAY!

Hehe, you never know! We'll just have to wait and see! *cackles maniacally*

Haha, I just might. You'll have to wait and see though. Seriously, though, I'm a sucker for a good cliffhanger, and I couldn't resist. Sowwy!

Thanks so much! Sowwy about the cliffy... :]

Originally, the story started with Tyler seeing Justin in the rain. When I finished, I realized it was missing something.

Thank you SO much for readin, Nick!

You've just put yourself in the position of being harassed until we know about Tyler and Justin. Some bully-bashing would fit me perfectly. (I know, I said it earlier, but it's only the beginning...)

LOL! I don't know...Maybe we'll get a glimpse into Tyler and Justin's world before then...We'll see! *huggles you*

Cutest phrase I've seen in a while. Took me a minute to figure it out, lol.

You can't! You can't leave us hanging like that. It's illegal. I'm sure everyone's going to agree with us.

That's such a nice story. I really enjoyed reading us. Justin was so cute and hug-gable. You write really well. So when are you posting the next part? You better do it fast! Plz! Plz! Plz! Plz! Plz! Plz! Plz! Plz! Plz! Plz! Plz!

Ieshwar