Hello folks at GA!

I just posted Chapter Two of Fixing a Broken Heart.

Fixing a Broken Heart is a story about Zack. He is in love with his best friend, but his best friend is in love with someone else. Witness how this event takes Zack into twists and turns, ups and downs, and how he copes with them.

Hoping to hear from you guys!

Read it here!

Thanks!

Rad



P.S. Thanks a lot to BeaStKid! You're great!

Welcome to the wonderful world of being a certified GA Author, Rad!! My best wishes are with you!!

And you're always welcome!!

The BeaStKid

Rad, your link doesn't work for me. I get an error message telling me to activate "intranet" settings and, at the same time, warns me against doing that.

Thanks, C James! (For the editing)

I've only just gotten back now, hope the link works for all of you now.

Rad

Yes, it works just fine now. Thanks.

I really like your story, Rad. The sheer irony of it is mind-numbing. It's like finding a winning lottery ticket at the back of your drawer; you never checked it and it's now expired.

The relationship between Zack and Brian is so sweet. I'm still not clear on why Brian hit him. I mean, was it just anger over the way Zack was behaving?

I particularly enjoyed the church scene in chapter 1 where Zack was pondering the feelings/emotions that Christ had while on the cross. His conversation with Father Jim was inspiring. Nicely done!

Conner

I so love this story, keep up the good work

It's heart-breaking. Hehe. I've always thought how that kind of situation would play out on me. I just hope I never find out.



I may have put a little of my temper in that situation. Brian was gone to the grocery and when he came back he only found Arvin, who was crying. He had to drive to the church to pick up his brother(that's how much he loves Zack). But instead of gratitude, all he got was a tantrum-throwing little brother. And there's also a little confusion because he had never seen Zack that way before.



I'm glad you think so. I really had to work hard on that because like Zack, I'm not at all fond of religion.



Thank you. I try my best. **bows**

Great! The first chapter was just... sad. I would really not like to be in Zack's place. That's so tough. The second chapter was really heart-warming, with Brian and Zack. So sweet!

Waiting for more.

Ieshwar

Chapter 3 is Up!!

It's really good...Rad has delivered again!!

The BeaStKid

Thanks BeaStKid! For saving me the trouble.

Hope you guys enjoy this chapter.

Later,
Rad

My Pleasure...Nice chapter btw...

The BeaStKid

Wow! Great, great chapter, Rad!!!

I particulaly enjoyed watching and listening to Zack as he navigated his way through the maze of his anger. I believe young men, like Zack, often have difficulty in sorting out their feelings. That invariably results in anger being the only emotion that rises to the surface. I believe Zack's triumph here was in allowing Max to speak with him in the first place. That must have been extremely difficult for him, for Max was the target of all the anger he had towards himself.

Max is beautiful! I'm not just taking about his physical beauty. The more human reaction would have been for him to tell Arvin to just forget about the homophobic best friend. Arvin's pain over this loss was just too much for Max. So, he injured himself, I believe, and did the noble thing in approaching Zack.

I'm looking forward to Zack's and Arvin's conversation. By the way, you set that up nicely. Now, I just need to trust that you will adhere to my expectations and not go off and do some flashback in time or some other tactic that you authors use to rain angst over your readers.

Conner

I agree that Max came out as a very balanced individual. Out of all the characters, I like this level headed the most. Followed by Zack, Brian and then Arvin. Don't ask me why...I don't know the real reason myself. I particularly enjoyed the way Ras depicted that scene. One moment they were grabbing each other's neck and the other they were giggling uncontrollably.

It just brings out the true nature of childhood innocence. I read a story once which depicted the same. It was in my Hindi course book. I won't go into the details, but this reminded me of that story...LOL

The BeaStKid

I'm too inexperienced to know how to rain angst over my little group of readers. But thanks for that little bit of advice, Conner. Maybe next time

All I can say is that chapter four is really sappy. Although I really like it, sometimes when I think about it happening in real life, I just have to cringe. In this chapter, Zack has some growing up to do. Lots of tears (eck!) too. 'Nuff said.

Chapter three is the only chapter (so far) that I haven't rewritten. Sure, I edited it some but not in a whole-chapter-edit way. Just some wordings. Unlike the other chapters which has like three versions before I decided on the one I like.

I like Max too. But he's not my main character. I actually modeled him after a classmate in highschool. Someone I treated really badly, but never retaliated back. He's actually kind to me. I still feel bad about the things I did back then. I've actually thought about writing something about him and Arvin, but that's just a thought. I'm still writing FaBH and I don't want to think about another serial in the future yet. Max is, like BeaStKid said, level headed.

I really liked this chapter, especially the emotions that Zack went through. I sooo identify myself i this. The change from anger to sadness was soo well-done. I really enjoyed it.

Max is a good guy but I prefer Brian. (I got a thing for straight guys. )

Waiting to know more about Arvin. He seems to be really interesting.

Ieshwar

Who doesn't?

Although I really do hope no one takes the brothers' relationship as kinda sexual. No aversion to incest but that isn't what I wanted to achieve with the story.


ALthough I think Arvin really has no big part in the story, I like him a lot. The real one too. I like the real Arvin a LOT.

I just hope chapter four's worth the wait for you guys.

Excellent job on chapter 4. Very well done.

The chapter ending was really sweet.

I'd like to learn more about Arvin, Max too.

I'm curious as to where you'll take the story now.

Conner

Yay

Nice heart to heart there...Awesome chapter again...

The BeaStKid

Although, I've placed some subtle hints from chapter one to four, I think the fifth chapter would still be a bit of a shocker. I've been told so. Hehe. Anyway, thank you guys for taking the time to post a comment.

I'm gonna go check out the Summer Anthology.

Later,
Rad

I'm a little incensed right now.

Nick James just told me that someone had been posting FaBH on another site. I'm actually looking at it right now. Too bad he got it from Nifty. The stuff there was a little unedited, while I edited some the ones that I'm posting here. At least, he didn't have the audacity to claim the story as his.

I just wanna ask you guys what I should do about this. This is obviously the first time that I have to deal with something like this, and I've got no ideas.

On the other hand, I'm flattered that someone likes it enough to post it on their site. But I'm not flattered enough not to be mad.

This has happened before. Try to contact the guy, or the host, and asked them to remove it. If you can't find them, or they don't respond, email David at Nifty, he can take care of it for you. The last time he got the site shutdown....

That totally sucks that they didn't ask for your permission. It's your property.

I agree with Graeme. Ask them to take it down. Let them know that they can back to you with a formal request in a few weeks.

Of course you're pissed. Someone's f**king with you.

Conner

Like Graeme said, try contacting that particular site's admin/moderator/owner or any one in-charge of that site and ask your story to be removed.

All the Best

Hugs
The BeaStKid

Well I know one of the mods there really well, and Andrew, the site owner, is a really nice guy. You should have no trouble getting the story taken down. If you do, I'll be happy to talk to either one of them for you.

Thank you, guys.

I've sent an email to the guy who posted it (he's really cute! LOL ). Told him please (yes, I said please) take it down. If he really wants the story there, to please email me and we'll discuss it (the audience there liked it, but I'm not up to the task of posting it there as I've already had the story in four sites. I'm lazy, that's why). I'll just wait for his response.

And a special "thank you" to Nickolas James. If the guy(he's one of the mods too) will not get back to me, I might ask you a favor. Thanks for offering it ahead of time.
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Whew!
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Meanwhile, about chapter 5... Like I've said, I've put some subtle hints here and there. Chapter 5 is going to be about Father Jim. Can you guess what it is? And BeaStKid, no, you're not included. I wanna hear what you guys think.

Awww man...You spoilt all the fun for me!!! lol

Hope everything turns out fine for you reg the story thing...

The BeaStKid

I read the 4th chapter and it's very touching and overwhelming. So much emotions. This chapter brought me closer to Zack. It must have been tough and you well described the difficult emotions.

So the 5th chapter would be about Father Jim... another mysterious character. I would like to know more about him. Till now, we don't know much. He seems to be really sensible and understanding tough.

Waiting for more!

Ieshwar

Chapter 5 Is up!!!

Warning!! Spoilers below....
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While I was expecting something drastic, I didn't expect Zack to turn out to be adopted with a twin brother and Father Jim to be his brother!!!!

Man...you sure know how to keep the readers on a roll!! I just feel for Father Jim...seeing his brother everyday without being able to tell him that he his related to him can be so frustrating...And what about Zack?? The poor boy has to learn this reality at this stage!!!

Awww...my heart goes out to both these fellows...

Awesome chapter!!

The BeaStKid

I have never mentioned in the story to whom I dedicate it to, but I'm going to now. FaBH is dedicated to Jevic. Some of you might have read his stories already. I have given him the tribute of being one of the main characters in FaBH which is Father Jim. He had helped me cope up with my own roller coaster though it was nothing compared to Zack's. Jevic has been my friend, guidance, and confidant for the past five years.

To you, my friend, I dedicate this story. May you find it. LOL (I was hoping he'd hear about it from others)

That was totally unexpected! I was just... WOW! I would really like to read what happens now? And his twin brother? Some drama surely follows now.... So Brian isn't his brother.

I think Zack needs a really nice bf! What about introducing a nice sweet and cute character who'll steal his heart? Please?

I would really like to read Jevic's story. What does 'FaBH' mean?

Ieshwar

Fixing a Broken Heart....duh!

Oops. I thought FaBH is a story by Jevic. My bad!

You can find Jevic's stories at http://www.tarheelwriter.com

I'll say nothing about where the story is going to go. Hehe. But I'm estimating fifteen chapters, more or less.

Eagerly Waiting for more!!!

I was a bad boy and read all six chapters at work today, so I'm a chapter ahead of you all. lol I liked this story a lot. I've also read Rad's two short stories.

Jan

So, just when I thought Zack's heart was on the mend, you go and break it again.

Let me see, 2 heartbreaks per 5 chapters; 15 chapters will produce a total of 6. 4 more to go???

If that's the case I'm out of here.

Doors opening and closing. Yeah, right. That's a line used by religious when that have absolutely nothing to offer.

Father Jim had no business doing what he did. How did he know that Zack hadn't been told he was adopted? Something like 'it didn't come up'? His parents should have told him long before now. I'm pissed. First we'll shoot Pere Jacque et puis les parents de Zack. They're lawyers anyway. :0

I also have a feeling that Zack's brother knows about all this too. That sucks even more.

Rad, do you suffer from long bouts of deep depression?

Conner

I'm sorry if I made that impression. I knew it would seem sadistic as a writer to put my characters in a heartbreaking situation, but this was exactly what I was saying when I said "how this event takes Zack into..." I'm already working on chapter nine and I can assure you there hasn't been any heartbreak since chapter five. Hehe. I'm just working to the plot in my head. I'm glad though to have someone to point out my sadism. (Yeah right )


No, Brian doesn't know a thing. He was only two when Zack was adopted.


I don't know about long, but short, yeah. I could say that I used this story to vent some. Maybe I've gone overboard. Sorry. But I wouldn't change the flow of the story.

And folks, no, chapter six was not posted on efiction. It was somewhere else. Hehe. I just didn't expect it would be posted so soon. Thanks, Jan. Loved your email. You're very insightful.

Later,

Rad

Well, If you call that being a bad boy...then I have been that even before this story was posted here at GA....Rad made me swear that I wouldn't breathe a word about the next chapters....Sigh...You have no idea how hard that has been!!! I guess you will now...

The BeaStKid

Actually, I do know hard it can be. As an editor, I can't talk about chapters that haven't been posted.

Jan

Earlier, I posted a short comment so now I'll expand on it with the email I sent to Rad.

I just finished reading this story, at work, non the less. Quite an interesting story. Reading it straight through, it doesn't give the reader much chance to rest.

I get the feeling that this story won't be so much about Zack being gay, but more about the love he's capable of. The love of family, even tho he's just found out he was put up for adoption. The Love for what we'll call his extended family. Not to forget the love of friends.

I suspect, that we may find out that Mike is also gay and that is the main reason that Father Jim is accepting of Zach. Jim loves his family unconditionally and that means accepting each member for who they are.

To me, it's understandable that Zack would be upset with his parents for not telling him. Some parents never tell the child they were adopted. Some wait until the child is old enough to understand. Zack should at some point realize why he was put up for adoption. Jim stated the reason by telling him the family couldn't afford to raise twins so one was chosen to be given up of a chance at a better life.

I did receive a reply from Rad.

Jan

All I can say is that Jan is a very good reader. A very good quality for a very good editor. Hehe. I wasn't able to get anything past him.

And I'll confirm what he said. FaBH is more of a story about love. Not exactly romantic love, but love in general. The love that we always take for granted.

Later,

Rad

Don't sweat the things I had to say. All is good.

I'm on the Writer Non-Support Team. Actually, I'm the only one on that particular team. My role to beat newbie writers about the head and shoulders, metaphorically speaking only, you know, toughen them up a bit.

You passed!

Conner

Toughen them up. Yeah, right.

No, as any newbie author, I'd like to hear both sides. I learn from them both.

Thanks for the feedback (good or bad). Did I just admitted I'm desperate for them?

roflmao

We all are, dude. Newbie or established. Authors such as us write for feedback. And what would we do without it??? lol

The BeaStKid

Try harder, I guess. Put some sex on the story and post it on an erotic site. LOL

Fixing a Broken Heart
Chapter Six now posted

Hi Rad,

Destiny (and perhaps you too!) is playing a very dirty game with Zack. And at Arvin’s house, it was… just too unfair. Personally, I feel that after the appearance of Max, their friendship won’t remain the same. I don’t harbor something harsh for Max (he’s a nice guy) but I feel so sad for Zack. Hope that his new friend will be able to help him out.

And I got another fear. What if Zack falls in love with JR and when his bro comes out of coma, he learns that he too is in love with JR! Ouch, that would hurt.

I don’t think you should be adding sex scenes to make your story better, Rad. The emotional roaller-coaster it provides is enough!

Ieshwar