Spoilers Below!!! Full Version: Blood Ties, Love Bonds by Ieshwar
Starting with the birth of a child, this story jumps backwards and forwards through the following fifteen years.
There are two threads, alternating. One, written in third person, deals with Sean and Kyle as they grow up. The other, written in first person, is Kyle's discovery of his father's past, and his decision to play cupid. This is an interesting technique, and not one that always works, but I think Ieshwar has pulled it off. Having both a first person and a third person view of Kyle is a trifle disconcerting at times, but it allowed the back story to be filled in while the current time story unfolded.
First love -- lasting love -- last love.
Ieshwar has a habit of writing stories that I have trouble commenting on because I don't want to ruin their overall charm by over-analysing. I'll just say well done and leave it to others find their own little nuggets.
In my case, one of things that this story has left me wondering about is what will happen when Kyle finds out that his mother didn't die. Sean has only been obeying Grace's wishes, but when will Kyle be old enough to be told the truth? Will Sean ever tell him the real story of how he was born?
There are two threads, alternating. One, written in third person, deals with Sean and Kyle as they grow up. The other, written in first person, is Kyle's discovery of his father's past, and his decision to play cupid. This is an interesting technique, and not one that always works, but I think Ieshwar has pulled it off. Having both a first person and a third person view of Kyle is a trifle disconcerting at times, but it allowed the back story to be filled in while the current time story unfolded.
First love -- lasting love -- last love.
Ieshwar has a habit of writing stories that I have trouble commenting on because I don't want to ruin their overall charm by over-analysing. I'll just say well done and leave it to others find their own little nuggets.
In my case, one of things that this story has left me wondering about is what will happen when Kyle finds out that his mother didn't die. Sean has only been obeying Grace's wishes, but when will Kyle be old enough to be told the truth? Will Sean ever tell him the real story of how he was born?
QUOTE (Graeme @ October 13 2007, 03:34 PM) 
Starting with the birth of a child, this story jumps backwards and forwards through the following fifteen years.
There are two threads, alternating. One, written in third person, deals with Sean and Kyle as they grow up. The other, written in first person, is Kyle's discovery of his father's past, and his decision to play cupid. This is an interesting technique, and not one that always works, but I think Ieshwar has pulled it off. Having both a first person and a third person view of Kyle is a trifle disconcerting at times, but it allowed the back story to be filled in while the current time story unfolded.
First love -- lasting love -- last love.
Ieshwar has a habit of writing stories that I have trouble commenting on because I don't want to ruin their overall charm by over-analysing. I'll just say well done and leave it to others find their own little nuggets.
In my case, one of things that this story has left me wondering about is what will happen when Kyle finds out that his mother didn't die. Sean has only been obeying Grace's wishes, but when will Kyle be old enough to be told the truth? Will Sean ever tell him the real story of how he was born?
There are two threads, alternating. One, written in third person, deals with Sean and Kyle as they grow up. The other, written in first person, is Kyle's discovery of his father's past, and his decision to play cupid. This is an interesting technique, and not one that always works, but I think Ieshwar has pulled it off. Having both a first person and a third person view of Kyle is a trifle disconcerting at times, but it allowed the back story to be filled in while the current time story unfolded.
First love -- lasting love -- last love.
Ieshwar has a habit of writing stories that I have trouble commenting on because I don't want to ruin their overall charm by over-analysing. I'll just say well done and leave it to others find their own little nuggets.
In my case, one of things that this story has left me wondering about is what will happen when Kyle finds out that his mother didn't die. Sean has only been obeying Grace's wishes, but when will Kyle be old enough to be told the truth? Will Sean ever tell him the real story of how he was born?
The alternation of first and third person is very tricky to do, but Ieshwar did it very well indeed, and to very good effect, and it served especially well to clarify the jumps forward and back in time.
Kyle and Sean are both clever and cute, and I loved what they did!
The matchmaking was very sweet indeed, and I agree with Graeme; I don't want to give away too much, so just go read the story, it is very well worth your time.
Good job, Ieshwar!!!
The juxaposition of the two narratives, third person for the past and first person for the present, was very interesting, but a little confusing at the beginning. It's certainly not a writing technique I come across all that often, but it worked for this story.
It was nice to see Kyle and Oliver searching Sean's past to find the lost love. I almost wanted Kyle's mother to be the object of their search, but that would've raised a lot of issues that couldn't be handled properly in the space allowed.
This was a very comfortable, warm story to read.
Thanks Ieshwar!
Carl
It was nice to see Kyle and Oliver searching Sean's past to find the lost love. I almost wanted Kyle's mother to be the object of their search, but that would've raised a lot of issues that couldn't be handled properly in the space allowed.
This was a very comfortable, warm story to read.
Thanks Ieshwar!
Carl
QUOTE
Starting with the birth of a child, this story jumps backwards and forwards through the following fifteen years.
There are two threads, alternating. One, written in third person, deals with Sean and Kyle as they grow up. The other, written in first person, is Kyle's discovery of his father's past, and his decision to play cupid. This is an interesting technique, and not one that always works, but I think Ieshwar has pulled it off. Having both a first person and a third person view of Kyle is a trifle disconcerting at times, but it allowed the back story to be filled in while the current time story unfolded.
There are two threads, alternating. One, written in third person, deals with Sean and Kyle as they grow up. The other, written in first person, is Kyle's discovery of his father's past, and his decision to play cupid. This is an interesting technique, and not one that always works, but I think Ieshwar has pulled it off. Having both a first person and a third person view of Kyle is a trifle disconcerting at times, but it allowed the back story to be filled in while the current time story unfolded.
Well, the fact is that when I thought about this technique, I really liked. I was very pleased with myself and almost literally jumped on it! I remember that I was already on bed when my muse said this. Bye sleep, welcome PC!
But well after I have completed the story, I realised that the reader might not be completely at ease with it and will face some difficulties. I was quite lost- I couldn't go back and I liked it! So all I could was to hope that my intelligent readers find the way out and enjoy it. Which of course, you did!
And I didn't read any story with this technique. Do you know any? I would like to read another one, especially one where it is better mastered.
QUOTE
First love -- lasting love -- last love.
Ieshwar has a habit of writing stories that I have trouble commenting on because I don't want to ruin their overall charm by over-analysing. I'll just say well done and leave it to others find their own little nuggets.
Ieshwar has a habit of writing stories that I have trouble commenting on because I don't want to ruin their overall charm by over-analysing. I'll just say well done and leave it to others find their own little nuggets.
Oh thanks. I never knew someone would have trouble commenting.
They are rather simple.Perhaps too simple! 
But you have done a very good job! 
QUOTE
In my case, one of things that this story has left me wondering about is what will happen when Kyle finds out that his mother didn't die. Sean has only been obeying Grace's wishes, but when will Kyle be old enough to be told the truth? Will Sean ever tell him the real story of how he was born?
Well, that's another story. I knew someone would ask this. And seriously, I don't know. Should I write about it? I was just putting myself in the character and wrote. I never bothered about what may happen in the future.
QUOTE
The alternation of first and third person is very tricky to do, but Ieshwar did it very well indeed, and to very good effect, and it served especially well to clarify the jumps forward and back in time.
Kyle and Sean are both clever and cute, and I loved what they did!
The matchmaking was very sweet indeed, and I agree with Graeme; I don't want to give away too much, so just go read the story, it is very well worth your time.
Good job, Ieshwar!!!
Kyle and Sean are both clever and cute, and I loved what they did!
The matchmaking was very sweet indeed, and I agree with Graeme; I don't want to give away too much, so just go read the story, it is very well worth your time.
Good job, Ieshwar!!!
Thanks CJ! Glad that you liked it!
Yes, Kyle and Oliver (Sean is the father. Did you mean him?) did make me smile several places, especially Kyle, the Cupid!
QUOTE ( @ October 15 2007, 03:29 PM)
The juxaposition of the two narratives, third person for the past and first person for the present, was very interesting, but a little confusing at the beginning. It's certainly not a writing technique I come across all that often, but it worked for this story.
It was nice to see Kyle and Oliver searching Sean's past to find the lost love. I almost wanted Kyle's mother to be the object of their search, but that would've raised a lot of issues that couldn't be handled properly in the space allowed.
This was a very comfortable, warm story to read.
Thanks Ieshwar!
Carl
It was nice to see Kyle and Oliver searching Sean's past to find the lost love. I almost wanted Kyle's mother to be the object of their search, but that would've raised a lot of issues that couldn't be handled properly in the space allowed.
This was a very comfortable, warm story to read.
Thanks Ieshwar!
Carl
Oh thanks Carl! Yes, I know that the start can be confusing since there is a direct change of characters and POV. Glad that you still liked it!
Well, Grace didn't feature much in it. Let's say, it's a men's story!
(The four dudes )Thanks to all of you for reading and commenting!
Any mistakes or anything you don't like, do tell me! It would a great help coz it does help to improve oneself!
Take care,
Ieshwar
QUOTE (Ieshwar @ October 16 2007, 01:16 AM)
And I didn't read any story with this technique. Do you know any? I would like to read another one, especially one where it is better mastered.
The first story that springs to mind is Sharra's Exile by Marion Zimmer Bradley. In that story, there are alternating chapters in first and third person. The first person is one character (Lewis Alton) and the third person is another (Regis Hastur). The author explained it as she saw the first person narration as being the main character, and the interleaving chapters as being the other part of the story. This isn't quite what you've done here, but it's close.
When I finished reading this story, I let out a big sigh and had a huge smile on my face.
I never found the different viewpoints confusing in the least. To me it was like a shoe box full of snapshots. A handful of photographs are taken out and even though they may seem in a random order, they still tell a story.
Of course, the bits where Kyle mentioned his mother were a little bitter-sweet as the readers knew she was still alive...and how would Kyle would react if or when he finds out the truth? And I was wondering if Kyle was manipulating his dad, about threatening to break up with Oliver, or if he really meant it seriously.
I loved this Ieshwar. Thanks for writing it.
Bev
I never found the different viewpoints confusing in the least. To me it was like a shoe box full of snapshots. A handful of photographs are taken out and even though they may seem in a random order, they still tell a story.
Of course, the bits where Kyle mentioned his mother were a little bitter-sweet as the readers knew she was still alive...and how would Kyle would react if or when he finds out the truth? And I was wondering if Kyle was manipulating his dad, about threatening to break up with Oliver, or if he really meant it seriously.
I loved this Ieshwar. Thanks for writing it.
Bev
I just wanted to say that this story left me with a good feeling. Great job Ieshwar!!
I'll confess I got a bit confused by the shift in POVs at first, but I was not in "smooth reading mood". Rereading the final product, it really works out nicely. A nice feel good family story. I like the fact that nothing is certain at the end of the story. Kyle just did his best to help his dad out, but there's no guarantee it'll work. Actually, kids setting up dates for their parents; it works only in stories, doesn't it?
QUOTE (Bondwriter @ October 23 2007, 11:02 PM)
Actually, kids setting up dates for their parents; it works only in stories, doesn't it?
I've heard of it happening in real life, too, though the kids in question were older than in this story. It can happen....
QUOTE
When I finished reading this story, I let out a big sigh and had a huge smile on my face.
I never found the different viewpoints confusing in the least. To me it was like a shoe box full of snapshots. A handful of photographs are taken out and even though they may seem in a random order, they still tell a story.
Of course, the bits where Kyle mentioned his mother were a little bitter-sweet as the readers knew she was still alive...and how would Kyle would react if or when he finds out the truth? And I was wondering if Kyle was manipulating his dad, about threatening to break up with Oliver, or if he really meant it seriously.
I loved this Ieshwar. Thanks for writing it.
Bev
I never found the different viewpoints confusing in the least. To me it was like a shoe box full of snapshots. A handful of photographs are taken out and even though they may seem in a random order, they still tell a story.
Of course, the bits where Kyle mentioned his mother were a little bitter-sweet as the readers knew she was still alive...and how would Kyle would react if or when he finds out the truth? And I was wondering if Kyle was manipulating his dad, about threatening to break up with Oliver, or if he really meant it seriously.
I loved this Ieshwar. Thanks for writing it.
Bev
Thanks a lot, Bev!
Well, for me, Kyle is a person who could be mistaken to be quite manipulative but he just tries to help others. When I was writing, I meant, yes, he would seriously break up. He's quite crazy, you know!
QUOTE
I just wanted to say that this story left me with a good feeling. Great job Ieshwar!!
Thanks, Adrian!
QUOTE
I'll confess I got a bit confused by the shift in POVs at first, but I was not in "smooth reading mood". Rereading the final product, it really works out nicely. A nice feel good family story. I like the fact that nothing is certain at the end of the story. Kyle just did his best to help his dad out, but there's no guarantee it'll work.
Thanks, Francois!
Yes, I just wrote about the matchmaking. As for the 'relation', it's a different thing. QUOTE
Actually, kids setting up dates for their parents; it works only in stories, doesn't it?
QUOTE
I've heard of it happening in real life, too, though the kids in question were older than in this story. It can happen....
I feel like I have heard it somewhere but am not able to remember right now. It's quite rare to find children seeting up dates, especially gay dates. But it would be nice, wouldn't it?
This story does make me remember another story- "Dating Again' by Graeme (Excellent short story, btw. Highly recommended) I know it's not the same and not much related. Except that in the other one, it's two sons talking to ther gay father about dating!
Thanks!
Take care,
Ieshwar
Wow, Ieshwar. You really did a great job with this one.
I loved the way Sean committed his life to his son without thinking about his own happiness that he could have found with Jason. Kyle was absolutely adorable with him playing Cupid. Oli was also great with his support and I really liked the way he helped Kyle get to Jason.
The scenes were well done, the narrative, although a bit confusing in the beginning, is easy to get used to.
All in all, a beautiful tale.
BeaStKid
I loved the way Sean committed his life to his son without thinking about his own happiness that he could have found with Jason. Kyle was absolutely adorable with him playing Cupid. Oli was also great with his support and I really liked the way he helped Kyle get to Jason.
The scenes were well done, the narrative, although a bit confusing in the beginning, is easy to get used to.
All in all, a beautiful tale.
BeaStKid
Great story Ieshwar!!!
I personally didn't have a problem with the POV's, as you seemed to identify who and when right at the start of each point of view. After the second switch, I was onto your ways .
What a great story though.
The fact that Kyle understood about the sacrifices that his dad made for him, he seemed to be even more motivated to help him out. The overheard conversation by Kyle and Oliver must have been the icing on the cake, since Kyle obviously knew his Dad probably still had feelings for Jason.
The final scene, or set up by Kyle, left me feeling great with a huge smile . The way he manipulated his dad to a private dinner, and Jason to meet with his possibly un-accepting dad was exceptional. Then with the unexpected homework was just great!!
Hopefully Dad and Jason continue on where they left off, and they realize that Kyle's gift to them was out of thanks for what they both sacrificed for him.
What a great story !!
Heck, I'll even say the word "great" again because you did a great job.
Steve
I personally didn't have a problem with the POV's, as you seemed to identify who and when right at the start of each point of view. After the second switch, I was onto your ways
.What a great story though.
The fact that Kyle understood about the sacrifices that his dad made for him, he seemed to be even more motivated to help him out. The overheard conversation by Kyle and Oliver must have been the icing on the cake, since Kyle obviously knew his Dad probably still had feelings for Jason.
The final scene, or set up by Kyle, left me feeling great with a huge smile
. The way he manipulated his dad to a private dinner, and Jason to meet with his possibly un-accepting dad was exceptional. Then with the unexpected homework was just great!!Hopefully Dad and Jason continue on where they left off, and they realize that Kyle's gift to them was out of thanks for what they both sacrificed for him.
What a great story
!!Heck, I'll even say the word "great" again because you did a great job.
Steve
QUOTE (Beastkid)
Wow, Ieshwar. You really did a great job with this one.
I loved the way Sean committed his life to his son without thinking about his own happiness that he could have found with Jason. Kyle was absolutely adorable with him playing Cupid. Oli was also great with his support and I really liked the way he helped Kyle get to Jason.
The scenes were well done, the narrative, although a bit confusing in the beginning, is easy to get used to.
All in all, a beautiful tale.
BeaStKid
I loved the way Sean committed his life to his son without thinking about his own happiness that he could have found with Jason. Kyle was absolutely adorable with him playing Cupid. Oli was also great with his support and I really liked the way he helped Kyle get to Jason.
The scenes were well done, the narrative, although a bit confusing in the beginning, is easy to get used to.
All in all, a beautiful tale.
BeaStKid
Thanks a lot, BK! Glad that you enjoyed it!
QUOTE (Wildone)
Great story Ieshwar!!!
I personally didn't have a problem with the POV's, as you seemed to identify who and when right at the start of each point of view. After the second switch, I was onto your ways .
What a great story though.
The fact that Kyle understood about the sacrifices that his dad made for him, he seemed to be even more motivated to help him out. The overheard conversation by Kyle and Oliver must have been the icing on the cake, since Kyle obviously knew his Dad probably still had feelings for Jason.
The final scene, or set up by Kyle, left me feeling great with a huge smile . The way he manipulated his dad to a private dinner, and Jason to meet with his possibly un-accepting dad was exceptional. Then with the unexpected homework was just great!!
Hopefully Dad and Jason continue on where they left off, and they realize that Kyle's gift to them was out of thanks for what they both sacrificed for him.
What a great story !!
Heck, I'll even say the word "great" again because you did a great job.
Steve
I personally didn't have a problem with the POV's, as you seemed to identify who and when right at the start of each point of view. After the second switch, I was onto your ways .
What a great story though.
The fact that Kyle understood about the sacrifices that his dad made for him, he seemed to be even more motivated to help him out. The overheard conversation by Kyle and Oliver must have been the icing on the cake, since Kyle obviously knew his Dad probably still had feelings for Jason.
The final scene, or set up by Kyle, left me feeling great with a huge smile . The way he manipulated his dad to a private dinner, and Jason to meet with his possibly un-accepting dad was exceptional. Then with the unexpected homework was just great!!
Hopefully Dad and Jason continue on where they left off, and they realize that Kyle's gift to them was out of thanks for what they both sacrificed for him.
What a great story !!
Heck, I'll even say the word "great" again because you did a great job.
Steve
Thanks Steve! You're making me blush.
But I'm not sure about the story but that's a great review! My favourite scenes are the last two too! The way Kyle decides to help them is very great indeed. I have read so many times and it does make me smile!
Take care,
Ieshwar
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