Little White Pill
By: Jason R.

Little white pills I wish I never found you
Complete emptiness as the addiction grew
No matter the cost I’d gladly pay
It’s not up to you or what others say

Consuming all of the trends
Forcing me to pretend
That I wasn’t in league
Through lies and intrigue

I pushed it down into places
Only showing you painted faces
And now the moment is here
I’ll slide away all the fear

I choose pills over the gun
Maybe life isn’t for everyone

Written Monday, July 24th, 2006
7:25 PM

By the way, this piece was written over a year ago. I've learned a lot since then, this is not a cry for help. Just something I really liked and wanteed to share.

Phew! Glad to know that.

Rad

Thanks for sharing.

It does look quite alarming. Well-written though!

Ieshwar

This is a powerful and beautiful piece with a glint of hope in the beginning "Little white pills I wish I never found you" like a tenuous foot hold to permit a glimpse into the darkness. I am glad that you have found a way back and shared this with us all . Darn! now I'll have to look you up for more poetry
Ixyam

A very moving and dark piece!

Actually, I didn't see much hope in it. Although obviously there was Hmm, perhaps some of the hope came from writing it?

Over the years, I've written in detail about my struggle with addiction. And sadly, most of these pieces were composed while I was completely out of my mind on cocaine, or worse. Looking back now, three months free from cocaine, I can see the love/hate relationship that existed. I loved using coke, yet in the middle of the high I was filled with such self-loathing that I would write such depressing pieces. Though the one above is written more about my Vicadin problems then cocaine, I think the principle is the same.

My recovery, such as it is, is helped by the re-reading of those poems that were written during that time. I don't want to feel the way I felt in these pieces. So i guess you could say that hope did come from writing it.

Jason R.