Okay, normally I confine my ranting to places not in the middle of everything and everyone, but I figure this is a safe rant.

So, how many of you guys will be celebrating Thanksgiving soon? Are you religious? If not, then why do you celebrate Thanksgiving? If it's not a religious holiday, what does it mean to you, and why does it mean that?

I spend so much of my time sharing my own thoughts about the world, giving my opinion, ranting about how the world is from my point of view. I thought that, while that's all well and good (and don't think I'm not going to do it here), I want to hear from some other people.

I spoke to my aunt Brenda today. She's my dad's sister. They're the only children of my Grandma and Pepaw Clark. My Memaw is my mom's mom, and that pepaw was Pepaw Spiers. Both grandfathers have passed away, but they've definitely left some lasting thoughts and influences, but that's for another time.

As you well know, sometimes my family sucks the 'fun' right out of dysfunctional. My aunt Brenda wanted my mom and siblings to come to her house, along with some of her friends and my Grandma and her boyfriend for lunch on Thursday. My mom mentioned the possibility of my dad showing up. I called her and asked, and we had a pretty long talk about the situation with him.

I have a very cynical outlook toward Christianity because so many people don't practice what they preach, and they don't live the life to back up their criticisms of other people. My aunt Brenda is not a perfect woman, and she's had her fair share of really, really, really bad shit happen to her. She's come out of it with two absolutely beautiful, wonderful, intelligent, perfect children (shut up, I'm allowed to brag on my lil cousins), a cool husband, and a great outlook on life.

Her first husband was killed by a drunk driver back around 1991ish. I've thought about this, and I've never asked her because I don't see it as my place to ask. She brought it up this time, though, since we were talking about my dad's inability to get over things that he believes people have done to him.

How do you ever get over having someone you truly, absolutely, without question love without limits dying? I've lost loved ones before, of course, we all have. But the person you choose to spend your life with is something completely different from other relatives or friends. That has to be like losing some piece of yourself... I can't even be cliched and say it's like losing part of your soul, because I think it's worse than that, it's worse than I could imagine.

Her children are by her second husband, so yes, she has managed. She's told me that she felt like someone had stolen from her, hurt her, wronged her, even though she never met the man who was driving the other car. I don't want to play cheesy let's talk about Jesus time with you, but her faith in God is what worked for her. She decided that the only thing she could really be sure about was that God loved her, and that she could forgive what wrongs had happened to her because she had to move on and do something worthwhile with her life. Yeah, where am I going with this?

My point is this; sometimes we lose sight of the fact that we're all in this together. We let differences, prejudice, and disagreement keep us from being the people we should be. I'm not saying we should go on a Jesus-trip and start spouting off love, peace, and forgiveness.

I'm saying that it's gonna be Thanksgiving soon, and it would be nice if people could step back and realize that no matter how many things are going wrong, no matter how unhappy they may be at times, and no matter how terrible anything going on is, you can still breathe to bitch about it, so you can still do something about it. Yeah yeah, I'm getting sappy, but I think that's something to be treasured, and maybe even if you're not religious or anything like that, then it's good to set aside a time of year to really think about all the things that ARE good in your life.

Okay, I'm gonna shut up soon, but really, think about it? Tell somebody you love 'em. Tell yourself that you love yourself. If you know somebody who's going to be spending Thanksgiving alone, why not at least offer a place at your table to them? If they decline (of course I'd persist, hehe, cause I'm pushy), then oh well, but you don't know how much that offer might mean to them.

Now, what do you guys think? What's important about this holiday to you? Not just sappy, blahblahblah, whatever... I'm not looking for the standard "I'm thankful for..." response, I want to know what's really going on in your heads.

Now that I've been appropriately mushy, don't expect this again until Christmas, and then not until next year. Hugs to you all, and I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving.







Disclaimer: Anything I've said in this post can never, ever be used against me except on the days specified (Thanksgiving and Christmas). I am quite aware that I can be QUITE the jackass at times, and I am sorry for anyone I've been a jackass to, and I hope you forgive my jackassery.

..........Actually, I enjoyed your rant!! Thanksgiving is not religious to me either, its all about family. I'm happy to be able to enjoy a gathering of most of my brothers and their families with mine this year. Peace and have a nice bird

The end of November always brings to mind the smell of Celery and Onions cooking. For me it's not about religion, never has been. It's always been about Family. That is probably because its always been a holiday spent with the extended family, Aunts Uncles, cousins etc.

It also holds special resonance because the day before Thanksgiving about five years ago my Gramma passed away. I don't remeber Thanksgiving that year, though I can recall the wednesday prior as vivid as anything else.

Alot of what the extended family did together sorta died out after that, Gramma was a rallying point, everyone went where she was. Now it seems sperate branches want to do their own family thing. I guess that makes sense as a slew of my Aunts and Uncles now have Grandkids themselves. It's just when I think about it ( thanks Jamie ) I still mourn the fracture of my family.

Beh thats enough depressivness I guess. This year My Aunt and her brood are hoping over to my parents place. It'll be a good one. Auntie is still with us even though she may have one less breast.

Steve

What a lovely thread, Jamie! First off let me start by saying I think you're a wonderful person

So Thanksgiving...Hmmm. Well I've definitely never seen it as a religious holiday either. In fact I think it's specifically a secular holiday. For instance last week at church the minister was saying one of the reasons he enjoys Thanksgiving so much is because it's a holiday on which he actually doesn't have to work!

Anyway I don't exactly dislike the holidays, but they're not particularly special for me either. I have an excessively small family, and even at best there were only ever 6 of us that would gather for the holidays, and I tended to see the other 5 pretty often anyway.

Plus, I dislike holiday food, especially Thanksgiving food (Christmas food isn't great either since it's pretty similar, but Thanksgiving food is worse ). I'm a vegetarian so I don't eat turkey anyway, but even when I wasn't I didn't like it (well of course not liking very many meats to begin with is why I became a vegetarian so...). Plus, despite the fact that I tend to like most veggies and breads it's like they've purposely selected all the ones I dislike to be traditional Thanksgiving fare! Don't get me started on how gross I think stuffing, yams, cranberry sauce, and cornbread is! Even dessert, always a highlight for me , isn't very good because it's usually some kind of pie, and I'm just not that big on pie, and really even though I'm a big dessert enthusiast all I really like is chocolate and lemon flavoured desserts and those aren't very common around the holidays . So anyway, everyone else is talking about being stuffed after the holiday meal and I'm usually going home hungry!

But forget food, the think that really sucks is that despite the fact that there's only 6 of us if you get us all together in one room for several hours people are going to be pissed at each other. My grandfather and I always try to stay out of it and never get mad at anyone and are rarely the recipient of all the ill-will, my mom usually stays out of it too, but I tell ya get my grandmother, aunt, and cousin together and watch the fireworks! Of course it also sucks that for days leading up the holiday everyone was bitching about it.

Anyway, that was when I was a kid. Nowadays my aunt and cousin just refuse to visit for the holidays, and actually I can seldom make it in myself. So we're all pretty much just on our own. Which in many ways is better because then we avoid a great deal of the pre-holiday stress, a whole buncha fighting, and I don't have to go hungry! (I just eat the same things I eat any other day).

Tomorrow/in a few hours will actually be much better than usual. I'm not going "home", but my mom and I are going to meet at about the halfway mark at a casino, and visit and gamble a bit. It's what we did for Christmas last year too. It's much nicer.

So anyway, I don't really get excited about the holidays anymore and they're usually a really small deal, in fact this'll be the first Thanksgiving in about 3 or 4 years that I didn't spend alone pretending it was like any other day (except that everything is closed and none of my friends are around ).

Anyway, unfortunately I think I wrote a fairly depressing post too

Sorry Jamie, I think this really is an excellent idea and a great thread...I'm just not really the person to come to for holiday spirit

Take care everyone and I hope you all have a great holiday! (I really am looking forward to my non-traditional one tomorrow!)
-Kevin

KEVIN!

Ahem, one year, after I have gotten rich and have my own house and my perfect boyfriend (...built out of parts and pieces from the... um... boyfriend store, yes.... ~crazy eyes~), I am going to force you to come to MY house for Thanksgiving.

Okay, yeah, there's gonna be a turkey. I freaking love turkey, because if I cook it it's going to look ugly but it's going to actually be moist as opposed to flaky, powdery, dry ick that most people cook, and it's good, and it makes delicious sammiches. HOWEVER, we don't do all that other mess. At our house, it gets kinda nuts as to all the food that gets cooked. If we make cranberry sauce, then somebody's either visiting and likes it or we found a can in the bottom of the pantry... that stuff is gross.

We make homemade mac and cheese (or shells and cheese from the box if being lazy), chicken and dumplings (real ones, not those icky ones northerners seem to like), of course cornbread, but not just cornbread, we make dressing (IT IS NOT STUFFING, IT IS DRESSING, AND IF MADE CORRECTLY IT IS DELICIOUS!), and just... all kinds of stuff. The list goes on and on. It's like we go to each other's houses, and try to outdo each other on cooking the most food. If you didn't manage to find enough things you like to fill at least one plate, I would break out the pots and pans and cook you exactly what you did want (which I would probably ask ahead of time because I find it kind of rude if you know someone's coming over that doesn't like normal thanksgiving food and you don't at least make one dish that they really like).

ALSO, oh hell... dessert? Pie? Ha! Of course there will be pie! Of course there will be ice cream! Of course there will be cake! There will be enough sugar to kill a billion diabetics eight times over! Pecan pie, strawberry pie, strawberry-rhubarb pie, chocolate pie, lemon meringue pie, chocolate ice cream, vanilla ice cream, praline ice cream, milky way ice cream, all kinds of ice cream. CAKE! Need I say more? It just depends on whose house you go to.



I think I have problems. I have this compulsive need to feed people, lol. Anyway, if you don't like the food, have the meal at YOUR place one year and cook whatever the hell YOU want. Hell, make stir-fry if that's what you want. As long as it's good food and lots of it, that's all that matters.


LOVE YOU ALL, HAVE A WONDERFUL HOLIDAY! I hope everybody has a great one.

I love that. Don't use it anymore. It's mine!

Be happy and, yes, be thankful. Have a great Thanksgiving, y'all!

Conner

I like Thanksgiving despite the dysfunctional relationships that become painfully obvious around the dinner table. Its nice to just take a day out of the year and agknowledge the parts of life that don't suck. It doesn't have to be religious but if you believe in good spirits or gods why not thank them? The same goes for anyone who has been nice to you.

I love the way that the holliday is treated with some degree of respect. Even telemarketers do not call on Thanksgiving. Generaly you can count on piece and quiet unless it's a matter of life and death. Then there are the parties, football game, and food. I like the food at my home because my mother is a great cook. The turkey is always good. If it is baked or roasted properly turkey can be very good. For the vegeterians there are plenty of great dishes with beans and vegetables. Just don't try to pass off soy beans as meat. They have their own flavor. Deal with it! or better yet enjoy it.

Awww thanks, Jamie!



LOL, I thought it was wickedly amusing too!


I did have a very lovely Thanksgiving this year though

Hope everyone else did as well!
-Kevin

I did have a good one. I'm just hoping everyone else did as well.

My delightfully demented family has dispersed, with minimal collateral damage. Drew (the roomie) has managed to escape unscathed, meeting only those relatives who are good, and avoiding all who are bad. The family is looking forward to having me back for a month for Christmas, I believe it had something to do with a dungeon and not letting me go. My little sister hates me again, and the other one wants a CD, and my little brother will be breaking limbs shortly on a skateboard. All is right with the world!

Other things have happened, but yes, all in all this has been quite a good Thanksgiving. YOU GUYS! TELL SOME STORIES OR SOMETHING!

Sounds awesome! Just make sure the bro has knee pads


Okay! I'll tell about mine then.

My mom and I decided to meet at a casino in Western Louisiana, which was about an hour away from her and about 3 away from me. Fortunately though the casino had a bus line running from Houston so I didn't have to drive (or pay for gas ). So anyway I got there about noon and we had our "Thanksgiving meal" at their seafood restaurant. I adore seafood (I'm a pesci, lacto, ovo vegetarian...which basically means liberal as F*%@ Anyway, I eat, and in fact love seafood!). So that was delicious and I actually did get to do the "I'm so stuffed on Thanksgiving" thing.

Then we gambled for several hours. Actually quite a few, I didn't end up going home on the next bus so I had to wait for the 4am bus. I had a really good time! I mostly played black jack. Made a buncha new friends at the tables, three of whom were from Houston! And had quite a few drinks! LOL, I didn't even realize it until I was on the bus home and bored and curious, but I actually had 10 alcoholic drinks, not to mention 3 cappuccino/coffee drinks (I love these but usually don't drink caffeine. I only splurge every couple months or around holidays/special occasions), and more bottles of water than I can possibly count. HAHA, it's amazing I was still standing really

So anyway, yeah, fun Thanksgiving, got to see my mom (), loved the food, and drank and gambled. Heck that's several of my favourite activities all on one day!


So, someone else's turn to tell their story!
-Kevin

I always admire Thanksgiving as a secular version of a semi-religious holiday, sort of the difference between being spiritual and being liturgically religious. For a religious version, I've always got the Jewish harvest holiday of Sukkot (back around October--it starts on around the full moon following Rosh Hashanah, and is usually timed approximately with the Canadian version of Thanksgiving). But in November, I can set aside all of the religious ritual that separates those of different faiths and just share the general concept with anybody and everybody in a national way--hey, I'm originally from New England, where the Thanksgiving myth rooted at Plymouth gets started and where Governor Wilbur Cross of my native state of Connecticut [and who in his other life was a dean and English professor at Yale University] produced the perfect poetic Thanksgiving proclamation .

This year, we had a quiet small Thanksgiving at home. The plans to drive 14 hours each way to the stepson's place in the far reaches of Maine fell apart at the last minute, so we stayed home. While I'm usually a quasi-vegetarian (pesco-ovo-lacto, like Kevin above), I make exceptions a few times a year, and Thanksgiving is one of those times. I made a small turkey, and also cardamom challah bread (from scratch--my own recipe), peas, potatoes, and a butternut-squash soup (out of a box, since the fresh squash we'd purchased a few days previously hadn't been properly refrigerated and went bad.). The turkey was prepared simply--roasted, sprinkled with salt, pepper, and (with apologies to Paul Simon/Martin Carthy's version of Scarborough Fair) parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme harvested from my herb pot, which miraculously hasn't been killed by a deep freeze yet. A white onion sliced and placed underneath on the roasting rack to absorb what it could--though almost all the juices stayed inside the turkey (roasted breast down), so there were precious few pan drippings to make gravy from (but just enough that I did make some). It was a remarkably healthy repast, except for the excessive quantities devoured. Dessert was an apple tort from the local pastry shop, with lots of apples and not all that much crust.

This was not as amazing as last year, when we DID venture all the way to far-off Maine, and I actually got to spend a few minutes on Thanksgiving morning in Stockbridge, Massachusetts, parked in front of the building where Alice's Restaurant used to be, listening to Arlo Guthrie sing Alice's Restaurant on the radio. ("This song is called "Alice's Restaurant." It's about Alice, and the restaurant, but "Alice's Restaurant" is not the name of the restaurant, that's just the name of the song. That's why I call the song "Alice's Restaurant." Now it all started two Thanksgivings ago... two years ago, on Thanksgiving, when my friend and I went up to visit Alice at the restaurant....") On the other hand, the journey took a long time, and having a veggie sub at a truckstop along I-95 in interior Maine isn't as nice as sitting at your own table eating a turkey you roasted yourself.

--Rigel

Well, we've been slowly dismantling all of my mother's gatherings since she started her ever steepening downhill slide toward death. So, on Thanksgiving our son (who lives in his grandmother's house) came down with a load of stuff in her car. (It's not like she can complain about him using it.) All of us started unloading it. There was a lot of stuff, mostly junk, except for the silver, the extra silver pieces, and the crystalware.

Toward the end, the wife calls from the front door she needs help, the box she just carried from the car is too heavy for her to carry on into the house. Our son says, "What are you carrying this for, it's too heavy for you." The wife shrugs. (Or, was it a wince?).

Once the car was emptied, we got in and I drove down to the Rib Eye in Napavine for their Thanksgiving Buffet (which cost too much, but was good anyway). On the way back, the wife complained that her shoulder hurt. By the time we get home she can't move her right arm. Does she want to go to the Urgent Care Clinic? No! "I don't hurt enough to see a doctor." And, I believe her.

We went on to the doctor on Friday and she's sprained her shoulder. He immobilized it, and gave her muscle relaxers and happy pills. If it's not better in two weeks, she's to call her regular family practice guy to get scheduled for an MRI to see if there is significant damage requiring more aggressive therapies.

Needless to say, I didn't go back to work on Friday or on Saturday. I told my dispatcher I'd be at work on Monday. Then last night (Friday), what's left of Mother's body decides it's time to go out the door. Now, I don't expect I'll be able to go back to work until Wednesday. I just love all this free time I'm giving the company. No, I don't mind not earning any money. I can live on air.

It's been a wonderful Thanksgiving full of memories I'll look back on for years to come.

Carl

Sorry about your mom. I hope your wife feels better soon.



My Thanksgiving was perfectly calm. I had a nice quiet dinner with my parents. No drama at all.

Actually, Thanksgivings were always held at our house when I was growing up, meaning my grandparents (mother's side) came to our house. Sometimes quite a few others showed up, too.

As a child, I always looked forward to having a walk down to Northgate Mall with granddad, as he was my only grandfather. (My paternal grandfather died before my parents were married.) He was a remarkable man. One of those Reader's Digest "Remarkable Characters" kind of guys. Another tradition was going to Woodland Park Zoo on Thanksgiving Day before the turkey was ready.

The day after Thanksgiving meant going to downtown Seattle and seeing all the window displays at Fredericks and The Bon, which often included electric train displays you could operate by placing your hand on the window over a printed hand. One of the more interesting things on this day was a visit to Uncle Roy (my grandmother's brother) who was a butcher in a market that was torn down to make way for Interstate 5, which went through downtown Seattle. I remember Uncle Roy as a kind of odd character, kind of like my own Uncle Walter (my father's younger brother).

Granddad was short. I think around 5'2". Grandma was 5'8". I was 5'8" when I entered seventh grade. In other words, Granddad was short, but he was very likeable. One of my fondest memories of him is his ability to give the fool his due, which is straight out of Ecclesiates. Ask him a stupid question and you were guaranteed to get a stupid answer. On the other hand, he was notorious for practical jokes like sending me, or any unknowing relative, down to his shop to find a left-handed Phillips screwdriver or a handful of two-headed nails. (They're the kind you can hit on either end and they'll still go through the board. Honest, it took me awhile to figure out that one.)

I regret that in later years we drifted apart, but those were the headstrong teen years when I believed I knew much more than he'd ever learn. That didn't last long, but long enough to severely strain our relationship.

So, Thanksgiving is a happy memory for me, even if I will from this day forward remember it as the time when my mother died. Her death was, in a sense, a blessing. She'd suffered for eight months and finally achieved the release she sought. Death in America is a horrible experience. We just can't let the suffering stop. We must keep the body alive even though the personality has gone on to another shore.

Carl