Okay, opening another topic... Straight Guys.

Why do the most irresistible men always turn out to be straight? T.T

I've already mentioned this a lot, but I first fell in love with a straight guy. Which was hell. I wouldn't wish it to happen to anyone here... he was handsome, a bit short and stocky, thoughtful, kind, bla-bla. >.> And I want to forget I've ever laid my eyes on him!!! LOL. We're still friends, but thankfully he's working on another island, so we only meet again about once or twice a year. I spent a good 3 or four years of near suicidal depression because of him (just ended last year ). Now, I'm just glad I'm over him... :S But not really, sometimes, I still dream of him. Especially after a particularly sad day. But that's natural. first love never dies, eh?

I have another good friend who is undoubtedly straight (has a pretty serious girlfriend), but is just so f***ing gorgeous, even the straightest of my other friends would admit to him being handsome to his face. I'm using his name on my newest story, btw. LOL. makes it easier to visualize the characters. He's handsome (think Josh Hartnett meets Ben Affleck), tall, athletic, good-natured (has the reputation of being the 'negotiator' and the 'peacemaker' in our group), down-to-earth, and charming as hell. If he wasn't straight, I'd have fallen head over heels for him, like I did with the first guy. But he is, and it somehow despairs me that I'm still feeling lust for him.

Is this normal?

I've taken a sort of vow of never EVER falling for a straight guy. To never even make advances on one. This may sound a bit holier-than-thou, but I've been burned once, and I'm not eager to repeat the experience.

I have a gay german friend in our art team who's less idealistic. he knows I'm gay (i've already come out to my online buddies in our game dev group), but he doesn't share my views on straight guys. he thinks that straight guys just need a bit of 'encouragement', and that you can actually get one to fall in love with you if you play it right. sounds predatory for me, but is he right? besides, what if guys that I think are straight turn out to be just butch gays (which incidentally, is my type), and I just missed my chance because I was too caught up with my being idealistic? :S

This has been a recurring topic in my stories... bah.

Being (I think) exclusively homosexual, I've realized that it's sad that we're limited to such a small percentage of potential partners from the human race. Unlike straight (or even Bi) people, who can basically choose whoever they want and try for them, we have to make sure first that our love CAN be returned before we actually start loving them... T.T

Also... masculine gays...? Where to find them. ROFL. My gaydar needs new batteries or something. I'm afraid of meeting Mr. Right and then passing him by just because I've mistakenly labeled him as 'straight'. (YES, I'm romantic! And I believe in soulmates! so help me god! LOL)

Oh, well... Life...

(As with my How To Deal thread. I'm asking more for similar experiences. ;P But if you have answers then do share...)

i tend to find straight guys better looking (and i said this and five million people bit my head off saying there were no physical differences) but that's just me. i mean allegedly gay guys are better because they spend too much time getting ready, but i don't think so. must guys i stare at are straight.

and they're also really attractive when they're loosened up. i.e. just bullshitting with friends.

the one time i'm glad for gay guys being kind of different is when they're NOT loosened up. a straight guy with something to prove is one of the top five most annoying things for me. example - my friend "S" who got in a fight with my friend "B" and I and was being a complete asshole and not listening to anything we were trying to say, all of a sudden became easier to work with when his girlfriend signed off and he didn't have anyone to show off in front of.

i hate the way straight guys are cocky. assuming awesomeness for basically no reason. i mean if you have a reason to feel awesome, then fine, feel awesome, but if you'll sat around with your friends throwing a frisbee and talking about banging hotties, then no, stop seeming so proud.

i have met exactly two gay guys who could have fooled me into thinking they were straight. so yes, i agree that that population is hard to find.

in closing - i totally see the attraction.

As a possibility, it just might be a numbers game. If you're attracted to 10% of males (by whatever criteria you use), and 90% of males are straight, then it means that there are very good odds that the guys you're attracted to will be straight.

Simply because there are more straight guys than gay, you're more likely to find yourself attracted to straight guys -- IF your basis for attraction doesn't include sexuality (in one form or another).

On the contrary I find straight guys to be crude and dull. I recently had an incident with dating a guy who I really really liked who surprise surprise turned out to be well... I don't like to use this stereotype but.. 'bi now gay later.'

Gay guys are, more often than straight guys, (once again no offense intended with gross sterotyping) groomed, cultured and considerate. So perhaps the appeal of straight men to gay men is simply the whole forbidden fruit notion.

I'm attracted to the sweet guy look... which as I've learned can be incredibly deceptive!

As for the ardently straight... they don't have a particular appeal to me. If anything I find it annoying when someone feels the need to prove their machoness. More often than not, the reason they have to set out to prove themselves is because they know that's not who they really are. Now the "naturally" straight guys who just are who they are and don't feel the need to be asses.... them I have to check myself around because its very easy to fall for them.

I often find straight guys physically attractive (including one in particular at the moment. It amuses me to no end to make him squeal by make 'fun' comments) But, back to my point, I agree with Sophie; most straight guys are crude and dull. It's rare that I find a straight guy I like enough to be friends with, let alone date. (Well, most people are dull, but at least the gay ones are refined and dull.)

I understand having 'crushes' on people you can't have, but I don't understand getting completely hung up on someone in anything but a physical way if there is no chance they'll ever reciprocate. I just can't obsess if I know it's utterly futile. And your friend is naive.

Menzo

ya. that's what i meant... physically. For example, I see this really cute guy. then he turns out to be crude and dull. bah.
cute guys are often like that anyway - their good looks has gone to their head. heh. but physically...



yah. you meet these kind of guys sometimes... totally not homophobic. VERY easy to fall for those guys.



yeah graeme. T.T sadly so true.



LOL. yeah. i think he is. he's 25 but he still has what could only be described as teenage angst.



i disagree. it may just be because my type are 'masculine'. not discriminating but we all have different ideas of who we want right? it just turns out mine is the butch type which might explain why straight guys have that appeal to me. :S and no, i wouldn't dare fall in love much less seduce a straight guy. LOL. Burned once.

I, too, stare at straight guys a lot. I can't help it if a lot of guys in the sciences are hot and straight. There's this sophomore in my Calculus class, Wade, who is just way too cute for his own good. I've pondered skipping class on Thursdays simply because he works right after class on those days, so he's all cleaned up in a stuffed shirt and pants instead of basket shorts and sandals...

I've fallen for a few straight guys in recent years... but never have I ever made any advances or let it get the best of me. Basically, I'll spot a cute/hot guy, consider him for a minute, figure he's straight (gaydar's been on the fritz for almost 21 years now), and forget about him. Of course then there are the times when they reappear and they've dressed sexy or in some way revealing (showing chest, for example) and I get all hot and bothered again... *sigh*

*sigh*

The dull, glazed eyes of breeders; attractive? Bah!

Sometimes it seems as if they are barely sentient but some of them are kinda cute.

They make poor pets. To domesticate them, you have to neuter them and that simply ruins them.

ROFL

*cough cough* I'm domesticated but I'm not neutered

Considering that in India, it is very difficult ot be gay and to be gay and be out is totally out of the question for teens, I have yet to find another gay/bi teenager in India or in the www.

Well, that the case, and also the case of my abysmal gaydar ( I can pick up signs that someone is coming on to me, like one of my seniors did that, and even before he did that, I was getting vibes from him... [/rant] )

But the thing is, all the guys I have fallen for, and one quite hard at that, turned out to be straight. There may be many reasons.... maybe they weren't straight, but one can't tell for sure until they themselves don't acknowledge it. And it is very difficult to acknowledge it when the whole society doesn't even accept that teens can be gay too...

Even the gay rights activists I talked to said that they cannot intervene on a gay/bi child's behalf as it may lead to them facing litigation. The lack of Child Protection Laws like the ones in U.S (Social Services), and you're stuck with whatever parents God gave you with... Sigh..

All this makes it harder for gay/bi teens to actually know that they are gay/bi... The lack of a comprehensive Sex-Ed program also doesn't help...

[/rant]

I don't know what'll happen to me...If I'm destined to fall for straigh guys only....that seems so, until the way Indian Society perceives us changes....

BeaStKid

P.S
It is not that bad in cities... .... But I'm speaking keeping in mind that almost 60% of the Indian population is rural!!!

I might have some str8 crushes.

Yet I don't understand how some try to sleep with them esp since they won't do anything back or you have to do all the work.

Btw most guy's gaydar's are broken or half working, it still might be under warranty

I fell in love with this straight guy too! Oh, man, it was horrible. And I made the mistake of telling his little sister I like him. In the end it was all good, but God I loved him.

yeah....




should I clobber cupid to death now?

Something I forgot to mention in my blog about that party I went to last Saturday (I've left a lot of interesting things out about that night LOL, this isn't the place to tell so PM if you want to know), but I fell in lust with a guy there. I discovered recently (Facebook stalking) that he's straight and taken, but GOD is he hot! At one point he was standing behind a member of my GSA, talking to another member, and the first member looked at me, slightly jerked his head in the hot guy's direction and mouthed the word "hot," then held his index fingers about 8" apart and mouthed the word, "his dick." I tried so hard not to laugh haha.

There was another guy there who I recognized from my history class this past semester. I was in lust with him too for the first couple months of the semester and was surprised to see him at that party and that he was friends with the lesbians throwing the party. God damn this is a small school.

Robbie is growing up...

Ieshwar

LMAO. Be careful tho... he's not exactly reachable.

The day a teenager tells me I'm growing up is the day I shove my dentures so far up his... well you know.

Str8 guys... I call them "monos": they speak in mono-syllables, have a mono-brow, a one-track mind and usually communicate in grunts.

Useless, impossible to domesticate and requiring constant supervision- you would have to be crazy to put up with one.

I usually leave out beer laced with anti-freeze to keep their population thinned out. F-ing vermin.

I gotta say, I pretty much completely agree with Sophie, Menzo, and James on this one. No gender/orientation combo is harder for me to understand - and put up with - than straight guys. Don't get me wrong, I've been friends with many over the years, but even just with friendship I usually feel like there's something missing. No way would I want to hitch myself to one romantically.

And that's just my thoughts about their personalities. When it comes to their bodies...nah. As I've said over and over again the average gay guy is much more attractive to me than the average straight guy. I adjectives I use to describe guys I'm heavily attracted to would be: "Beautiful", "Cute", even "Pretty". Guys that are "Rugged" or "Butch", etc. don't do anything for me physically. Occasionally a cute straight guy with a swimmer or runner's build and nice hair will turn my head, but even then I admit that I'm kinda prejudiced in assuming that in 5 years the average attractive straight guy will have let himself go and won't be very attractive anymore. Gay guys at least keep trying.

Now of course I'm stereotyping, there are some really beautiful straight guys out there (and I've seen quite a few), and undoubtedly some very unattractive gay guys, but on an intellectual, emotional, and superficial level gay guys tend to do a lot more for me.





I would think that Graeme's quite right on this one.

Granted, you may have more or less the "opposite" criteria in men than I do, so perhaps that does make a big difference. Rest assured though there are plenty of butch gay guys out there. I have quite a few butch, gay friends. I think that once you come out you'll find it's easier to meet them because many of the "butch" gay guys can pass for straight many of them simply do so in straight settings to make things easier (or else it just doesn't come up and isn't assumed in the first place). Quite a few are "out" in gay settings though.


I would say enjoy the eye candy, but don't expect anything more.


Your friend sounds amusingly, and unabashedly sexual. It might not do any harm in the gay world, but I fear that might perpetuate bad stereotypes in the straight world. Of course I think Europeans in general have a much healthier attitude toward sex and sexuality than the average American, so perhaps Americans are just more likely in general to freak out about that type of attitude.

Anyway, in general I think he's wrong, certainly if thinks you can actually make straight guys fall in love with you. You can probably convince quite a few to mess around with you if you play your cards right and they're sufficiently horny (and perhaps drunk), and you're sufficiently non-threatening, but I don't think they'd actually fall in love with you unless they were at least somewhat bisexual in the first place.


Like I said, look for them where you stand a better chance of finding any other type of gay as well: gay settings.

Anyway, just my thoughts and opinions
Take care all and have a great day!
Kevin

Thanks again Kevin!



I'm actually talking to him on irc now as I write this post. hehe. That he is. I don't think he's serious tho. Heh. He claims to be a misogynist and goes out of the way to rant against women. but he's pretty sweet actually. LOL. It's just teasing I guess, I don't think he's in danger of seducing someone (He's threatening one of our straight coders with buggering at the mo, LMAO).



/me absorbs this fact and throws away his gaydar. LOL

I disagree with the notion that the average gay guy is better looking than a straight one. A gay guy may take more time to perfect his appearance, or he might not. I certainly can't be bothered most of the time. It's almost pulling teeth (and I speak from experience on this one) to get me to shave some mornings. And, in ever increasing numbers, there are now straight guys that know they are hot and even more know how to make themselves look hotter. There is even a word for them, but I will refrain from cursing at this moment.

Even if it is true, not everyone finds groomed and primped guys to be especially attractive. I don't. Attractive, yes, but not especially so. My friends make fun of me because when a pretty little thing bats his eyelashes at me I couldn't be bothered, but if there's a haphazardly shaven hungover frat boy in a wife beater, I'll light up like a slot machine hitting all sevens.

Further, most of my friends are straight guys. I might be tempted by them on occasion, but I'm pretty good now at keeping my eyes in my head. Except when they're wearing bathing suits. All bets are off when swim trunks, racing suits, or speedos are involved. There is a reason I live within blocks of the beach.

I agree completely.

I think there are a lot of stereotypes going around in this thread. Reading a lot of the posts, I found that most who describe straight guys as "crude and dull" often use examples of straight guys who could be (and are) categorized as frat boys. I must admit though, that sometimes, frat boys can be HOT. But most of the times, the beer-chugging, women-groping, monkey antics that many see as characteristic of frat guys (which, in most cases, is true) is a big turn off.

There are many straight guys who aren't like that. Granted, I go to a school where the frat population is virtually nonexistent (thank God for that).

There's a straight guy I like. But it's just that. A like. A crush. While I'm generally more attracted to guys who either are straight or could be mistaken for straight, I never let it get past a like. Because once it goes beyond a like, I'm screwed.

You can probably find masculine gay men in bars, but that's a bit risky. If there's a city nearby with a gay scene, perhaps you should go there. That's my advice. And your friend needs a reality check. It is possible to fool around with some straight guys, but it's not worth it. They can never feel the same way.

B1ue and Canundra. Sounds exactly like me too. LMAO. I find the average stereotypical 'straight' guy look more attractive than the stereotypical 'Gay' guy look.



LOL. Can't do that atm. Besides, I'm not attracted to my countrymen. :S But yeah, seems like that's the only solution.