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BeaStKid
Second Chances is a beautiful story about two boys who have both lost someone close to them. It is a story that tells of their ordeals, their lives and the challenges they face and at the same time learning to live with their mistakes and loses.

It is a beautiful story. One that I'd recommend.

Good going, tiger!! smile.gif

BeaStKid
FrenchCanadian
I can't agree more, the only one big complain that I can make is that : you coulda spend more time developing the prologue. other that that, the story is just interesting!

great going!
TalonRider
It is a good and interesting story if I do say so myself. I'm saying this as a reader and not because I edited it.
CarlHoliday
I certainly have to agree, this is an interesting story. The two boys have at least one thing in common and quite possibly might have more.

The only thing I have trouble with is the drugs, but I'm an old fogey who can't remember my own dalliances into the world of chemical stimulation. Considering one of the boys is supposedly dealing with addiction, I was hoping for a little more strength on his part, but I'm not the author, so I'll have to wait an see how it all turns out. I hope for the best, though.

I like the characterizations, too. Lexis is especially interesting and should be fun in future chapters.

This is a great story, read it!
Tiger
QUOTE (CarlHoliday @ January 6 2008, 11:02 PM) *
I certainly have to agree, this is an interesting story. The two boys have at least one thing in common and quite possibly might have more.

The only thing I have trouble with is the drugs, but I'm an old fogey who can't remember my own dalliances into the world of chemical stimulation. Considering one of the boys is supposedly dealing with addiction, I was hoping for a little more strength on his part, but I'm not the author, so I'll have to wait an see how it all turns out. I hope for the best, though.

I like the characterizations, too. Lexis is especially interesting and should be fun in future chapters.

This is a great story, read it!

They are teenagers. The chemical stimilation is a reflection of my experimentation when I was younger. I do NOT advocate drug use at all. Do not forget that one of the characters died of an overdose. sad.gif FYI, his death is based upon my personal experiences. One of my underclassmen died when I was a junior in high school.

Lexis is a spoiled rich girl. She almost always gets what she wants. I look forward to writing more about her. biggrin.gif

I would like to thank you all for the feedback. wub.gif
TalonRider
QUOTE (CarlHoliday @ January 6 2008, 11:02 PM) *
Considering one of the boys is supposedly dealing with addiction, I was hoping for a little more strength on his part, but I'm not the author, so I'll have to wait an see how it all turns out. I hope for the best, though.

Even if he hadn't smoked with the rest of the group, it wouldn't have helped him when the special Brownies were brought out. He had no idea that Lexis was known for doing that.

Jan
Tiger
QUOTE (TalonRider @ January 7 2008, 05:44 AM) *
Even if he hadn't smoked with the rest of the group, it wouldn't have helped him when the special Brownies were brought out. He had no idea that Lexis was known for doing that.

Jan

Lexis can be quite devious. The special brownies had a sticky substance in them. I'm surprised more of the teens did not puke after having brownies and booze.
C James
You're off to a good start! One criticism I'll make is that the chapters stop at #2. A higher number would be much better. smile.gif

Seriously, you're off to a good start here. Lexis is very interesting, and I like characters who are a little unusual. I also like her reasons regarding the swim team. smile.gif

Oh, and the ending of Ch 2? Definitely a Cliffhanger. tongue.gif
Tiger
QUOTE (C James @ January 11 2008, 07:37 PM) *
You're off to a good start! One criticism I'll make is that the chapters stop at #2. A higher number would be much better. smile.gif

Seriously, you're off to a good start here. Lexis is very interesting, and I like characters who are a little unusual. I also like her reasons regarding the swim team. smile.gif

Oh, and the ending of Ch 2? Definitely a Cliffhanger. tongue.gif

Coming from the Queen of Evil Cliffhangers, I do not know whether to take that in offense or if I should consider it a compliment. tongue.gif

Yes, Lexis is rather naughty, but she is not the story's heel. She's just a naughty girl in need of learning important life lessons.
C James
QUOTE (tlwritingtiger @ January 11 2008, 06:53 PM) *
Coming from the Queen of Evil Cliffhangers, I do not know whether to take that in offense or if I should consider it a compliment. tongue.gif

Yes, Lexis is rather naughty, but she is not the story's heel. She's just a naughty girl in need of learning important life lessons.


Hey now, you know I never use cliffhangers! tongue.gif

But, yes, that was a CLIFFHANGER! tongue.gif

I like Lexis, she reminds me of someone I knew in college. She caused all kinds of trouble. LoL
BeaStKid
QUOTE (C James @ January 21 2008, 02:29 AM) *
Hey now, you know I never use cliffhangers! tongue.gif

Me thinks that is another cliffhanger!!! tongue.gif
old bob
QUOTE (BeaStKid @ January 6 2008, 12:59 PM) *
Second Chances is a beautiful story about two boys who have both lost someone close to them. It is a story that tells of their ordeals, their lives and the challenges they face and at the same time learning to live with their mistakes and loses.
It is a beautiful story. One that I'd recommend. Good going, tiger!! smile.gif
BeaStKid

I just came randomly to this story. BeaStkid wrote all what I want also say to it.
Go on, tiger smile.gif
GaryK
Yeah right, CJ. You're not the Queen of the Cliffhangers. Sheesh. wink.gif tongue.gif

Tim, I reviewed both chapters in detail so you can look there for my comments. At least in Chapter 2 you've learned CJ's cliffhanging tricks very well. smile.gif

As for the drugs. Well, I'm speaking from experience as an addict who's been clean since 1979. Let's face it, drugs and especially alcohol are part of the teenage experience. To deny it is to deny reality. Including them in your story, Tim, is part of what helps make it seem realistic. There are also varying degrees of staying clean and sober. I'm a coke and heroin addict. Not a day goes by that I don't think about both of them even though I haven't used either one in decades. I do smoke pot on occasion, but I rarely touch alcohol. So to me Jesse's use of pot and beer isn't all that atypical. I just hope it doesn't turn out to be a gateway to the worse stuff he used to do and possibly ruin what could be a great relationship with Markus.

Second Chances has so much potential. Please don't abandon it. worshippy.gif
Tiger
QUOTE (GaryInMiami @ February 19 2008, 04:39 PM) *
Yeah right, CJ. You're not the Queen of the Cliffhangers. Sheesh. wink.gif tongue.gif


Second Chances has so much potential. Please don't abandon it. worshippy.gif

I could never be as good at creating evil cliffhangers as our king. I am not abandoning Second Chances. I am working on Dark Earth: The Prophecy and my anthology for now. Look for new chapters after the first part of the Dark Earth trilogy is finished. wink.gif
Benji
QUOTE (TL The Writing Tiger @ February 19 2008, 08:07 PM) *
I could never be as good at creating evil cliffhangers as our king. I am not abandoning Second Chances. I am working on Dark Earth: The Prophecy and my anthology for now. Look for new chapters after the first part of the Dark Earth trilogy is finished. wink.gif



cool.gif ..........So we should see that about the same time you or Frenchy hit that 1,000th post, right? whistle.gif
GaryK
Yeah, I guess you're right about CJ and cliffhangers, wink.gif.

He and I correspond frequently via PM and I really wub.gif him and his stories; including the damn cliffhangers, laugh.gif!

I'm not much for sci-fi, but I'm willing to give your story a chance. I look forward to starting to read it later this evening, smile.gif.
Tiger
QUOTE (GaryInMiami @ February 19 2008, 06:21 PM) *
Yeah, I guess you're right about CJ and cliffhangers, wink.gif.

He and I correspond frequently via PM and I really wub.gif him and his stories; including the damn cliffhangers, laugh.gif!

I was one of the first to defend his usage of evil cliffhangers, but I draw the line at allowing him to get away with deny using them. laugh.gif
GaryK
QUOTE (TL The Writing Tiger @ February 19 2008, 07:31 PM) *
but I draw the line at allowing him to get away with deny using them. laugh.gif

I'm with you on that, Tim. I love how he tries to play Mr. Innocent when it comes to the cliffhangers. Not that any of us actually believes him, right? And I certainly don't let him get away with it either. I've teased him mercilessly about it!
laugh.gif
Tiger
QUOTE (GaryInMiami @ February 19 2008, 06:36 PM) *
I'm with you on that, Tim. I love how he tries to play Mr. Innocent when it comes to the cliffhangers. Not that any of us actually believes him, right? And I certainly don't let him get away with it either. I've teased him mercilessly about it!
laugh.gif
.
Why am I not surprised. I tease him about it as well. He still denies it. wacko.gif
GaryK
It'll be kind of difficult for him to deny it now that he's won the 2007 King of the Cliffhangers award, eh? biggrin.gif
Tiger
QUOTE (GaryInMiami @ February 19 2008, 08:16 PM) *
It'll be kind of difficult for him to deny it now that he's won the 2007 King of the Cliffhangers award, eh? biggrin.gif

He's still trying to deny it, blaming Steve (Shadowgod) for adding the evil cliffhangers in beta.
GaryK
I won't divulge confidences, but there's more to that award than meets the eye and it's very funny. wink.gif
Tiger
QUOTE (GaryInMiami @ February 19 2008, 09:38 PM) *
I won't divulge confidences, but there's more to that award than meets the eye and it's very funny. wink.gif

Who would I need to talk to for details? tongue.gif
GaryK
On the off chance you're serious I would talk to CJ. But you really already knew that didn't you? tongue.gif

I'm heading off to CJ's forum to post my take on his latest chapter. It's kind of different than what everyone else is posting and might make some people mad at me.
FrenchCanadian
QUOTE (GaryInMiami @ February 19 2008, 05:39 PM) *
Second Chances has so much potential. Please don't abandon it. worshippy.gif

QUOTE (TL The Writing Tiger @ February 19 2008, 07:07 PM) *
I am not abandoning Second Chances. I am working on Dark Earth: The Prophecy and my anthology for now. Look for new chapters after the first part of the Dark Earth trilogy is finished. wink.gif


Yeah, his new chapter will be a nic one,, tho with no cliffie in it,, unless Mista hide the end of the chapter to me.

QUOTE (Benji @ February 19 2008, 07:14 PM) *
cool.gif ..........So we should see that about the same time you or Frenchy hit that 1,000th post, right? whistle.gif


Most likely, LOL, but you shoulda said, "you and frenchy" and please don't call me frenchy... no offense to anyone, but it sounds too much like france,,, and I don't like that tongue.gif
Tiger
QUOTE (FrenchCanadian @ February 20 2008, 10:21 AM) *
Yeah, his new chapter will be a nic one,, tho with no cliffie in it,, unless Mista hide the end of the chapter to me.



Most likely, LOL, but you shoulda said, "you and frenchy" and please don't call me frenchy... no offense to anyone, but it sounds too much like france,,, and I don't like that tongue.gif

That is the plan. We want to reach that milestone close together.

As for the new chapter, I am delaying it until I start writing new chapters for the story. Dark Earth:The Prophecy is my main objective right now. Dark Earth is a trilogy. The first part will be finished in a few months. biggrin.gif
GaryK
QUOTE (TL The Writing Tiger @ February 20 2008, 11:33 AM) *
That is the plan. We want to reach that milestone close together.

As for the new chapter, I am delaying it until I start writing new chapters for the story. Dark Earth:The Prophecy is my main objective right now. Dark Earth is a trilogy. The first part will be finished in a few months. biggrin.gif

As much as I want to read more of SC, I agree about concentrating on DE for now. Build up several chapters of SC so you can release them on schedule while still keeping up with DE. You also need to try some more poetry. So much to do and so little time to work with. But I have faith in you Tim! smile.gif
Tiger
QUOTE (GaryInMiami @ March 4 2008, 05:55 AM) *
As much as I want to read more of SC, I agree about concentrating on DE for now. Build up several chapters of SC so you can release them on schedule while still keeping up with DE. You also need to try some more poetry. So much to do and so little time to work with. But I have faith in you Tim! smile.gif

I have done about a stanza of a poem. I may have to take a look at it and write some more of it. It's going to be a bitter-sweet one. As for SC, I've been working on Chapter 4 a little bit. I'm not going to start releasing chapters until I have more of them finished. I am also working on DE:TP Chapter 11. Staying completely focused on one project is cumbersome for me.
GaryK
QUOTE (TL The Writing Tiger @ March 6 2008, 01:15 PM) *
I have done about a stanza of a poem. I may have to take a look at it and write some more of it. It's going to be a bitter-sweet one. As for SC, I've been working on Chapter 4 a little bit. I'm not going to start releasing chapters until I have more of them finished. I am also working on DE:TP Chapter 11. Staying completely focused on one project is cumbersome for me.

Whatever works best for you is fine with me Tim. I'll help, encourage and give you honest feedback no matter what you do or think about doing. Don't ever forget that.
C James
QUOTE (TL The Writing Tiger @ February 19 2008, 08:19 PM) *
He's still trying to deny it, blaming Steve (Shadowgod) for adding the evil cliffhangers in beta.


Well, of course! tongue.gif

Speaking of EEEvil cliffhangers, I'm looking forward to the continuation of SC! smile.gif
GaryK
QUOTE (C James @ March 7 2008, 05:00 AM) *
Speaking of EEEvil cliffhangers, I'm looking forward to the continuation of SC! smile.gif

Please help me keep Tim focused on his tasks: SC and DE! I do my best but I think a word from you will have more of an effect. These kids get distracted far too easily! biggrin.gif
FrenchCanadian
QUOTE (GaryInMiami @ March 7 2008, 06:06 AM) *
Please help me keep Tim focused on his tasks: SC and DE! I do my best but I think a word from you will have more of an effect. These kids get distracted far too easily! biggrin.gif


he just thinks of too many project at the same time
Tiger
QUOTE (FrenchCanadian @ March 7 2008, 11:31 AM) *
he just thinks of too many project at the same time

I come up with too many ideas. Now, if there were two me's I would be fine. tongue.gif
GaryK
QUOTE (FrenchCanadian @ March 7 2008, 12:31 PM) *
he just thinks of too many project at the same time

He does have an active imagination. Doesn't he? That's part of what I like about him. wink.gif

QUOTE (TL The Writing Tiger @ March 7 2008, 02:01 PM) *
I come up with too many ideas. Now, if there were two me's I would be fine. tongue.gif

If there were more than one of you I'd surely lose my mind. Methinks one Tim is plenty. You need to learn how to get by with less sleep! tongue.gif
Tiger
QUOTE (GaryInMiami @ March 7 2008, 03:36 PM) *
He does have an active imagination. Doesn't he? That's part of what I like about him. wink.gif


If there were more than one of you I'd surely lose my mind. Methinks one Tim is plenty. You need to learn how to get by with less sleep! tongue.gif

Tigers who sleep less are quite cranky. Are you sure you like that idea? tongue.gif
GaryK
QUOTE (TL The Writing Tiger @ March 7 2008, 05:24 PM) *
Tigers who sleep less are quite cranky. Are you sure you like that idea? tongue.gif

No, I definitely do not like that idea. I don't like it when I see your cranky side. I'm afraid I'll get eaten, and not in a good way either. tongue.gif
Tiger
QUOTE (GaryInMiami @ March 7 2008, 04:28 PM) *
No, I definitely do not like that idea. I don't like it when I see your cranky side. I'm afraid I'll get eaten, and not in a good way either. tongue.gif

Well, there is such a thing as a man-eating tiger. <sniggers>. Btw, there might be a steamy scene in an upcoming chapter.
GaryK
QUOTE (TL The Writing Tiger @ March 7 2008, 05:37 PM) *
Well, there is such a thing as a man-eating tiger. <sniggers>. Btw, there might be a steamy scene in an upcoming chapter.

And I'll get to see it before almost anyone else does. You are so naughty. You know how to push my buttons Tim. tongue.gif
TalonRider
QUOTE (GaryInMiami @ March 7 2008, 04:36 PM) *
You need to learn how to get by with less sleep! tongue.gif

When he gets to be our age, he probably will. wacko.gif
GaryK
QUOTE (TalonRider @ March 7 2008, 08:26 PM) *
When he gets to be our age, he probably will. wacko.gif

How odd. I never paid attention to your age before, Jan. You seemed like a much younger person than you are. I'd never have guessed you'd be in the geriatric club with me, smile.gif

Yes, I used to need 10 hours of sleep a day. Now I need less. But it's still more than normal for folks our age. I really need eight hours of sleep otherwise I start to feel the effects after a few days. On those nights when I can't sleep it's amazing I can function at all the next day. But somehow I do because there's just so much stuff I want to do. wink.gif
TalonRider
I'm normally in bed by 10 p.m. and up at 4:30 a.m. On my days off, I sleep in til 6.
GaryK
QUOTE (TalonRider @ March 9 2008, 06:53 PM) *
I'm normally in bed by 10 p.m. and up at 4:30 a.m. On my days off, I sleep in til 6.

That seems normal enough considering you're much older than I am. tongue.gif
Rose Strailo
Tiger, I'm sure that you've heard this before, but it's a wonderful story, even though the prologue could be developed just a bit more. Otherwise, you made me cry while reading this. Thank you.
Tiger
QUOTE (Rose Strailo @ March 20 2008, 11:28 PM) *
Tiger, I'm sure that you've heard this before, but it's a wonderful story, even though the prologue could be developed just a bit more. Otherwise, you made me cry while reading this. Thank you.

Yes, others have said the prologue should have been longer. I may have to rewrite it some time. There is definitely some sadness at the beginning.

In related news, I shall be releasing a new chapter soon! biggrin.gif
Benji
QUOTE (TL The Writing Tiger @ March 21 2008, 11:13 AM) *
Yes, others have said the prologue should have been longer. I may have to rewrite it some time. There is definitely some sadness at the beginning.

In related news, I shall be releasing a new chapter soon! biggrin.gif



cool.gif ........Looking forward to it
BeaStKid
QUOTE (TL The Writing Tiger @ March 21 2008, 08:43 PM) *
Yes, others have said the prologue should have been longer. I may have to rewrite it some time. There is definitely some sadness at the beginning.

In related news, I shall be releasing a new chapter soon! biggrin.gif

Double w00t!
Rose Strailo
YAY!!!! wub.gif
Tiger
Chapter 3 is posted!
C James
Glad to see you are carrying on with this one!

The incident at the Dr.s office is certainly a shocker!

As for Lexis... Hrmmm, I still think she's going to be trouble.

CJ smile.gif
Tiger
QUOTE (C James @ April 1 2008, 04:40 AM) *
Glad to see you are carrying on with this one!

The incident at the Dr.s office is certainly a shocker!

As for Lexis... Hrmmm, I still think she's going to be trouble.

CJ smile.gif

I was hoping people would love that joke!

Lexis may be a lot of trouble, but she may simply be misunderstood. innocent.gif I am carrying on with the story, but I have more of Dark Earth plotted. Once I have the first book of DE:TP finished, I will be writing a lot more chapters for Second Chances. smile.gif
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