Darkness Shining
It shines like a light.
You can't really tell,
But it does.
The way it moves,
And runs from the light.
So like me.
I run and I try to hide
As the light seeks me.
The darkness shines for me
As I lay here and watch.
they dance and put a show on,
All for me.
I lay and watch
The darkness shine.
I turn and watch the shadows play on the wall.
A tree turned into a witch.
I smile and giggle
As the shadows dance.
I wonder if perhaps
The darkness shines for others.
And if it does,
Do the see the dark light
That makes the darkness shine?
Or do they just see the darkness?
I lay here and watch the shadows play,
And the darkness shine.

Warning: Talks about suicide in a way that isn't quite...straight forward. This was written many, many years ago.
Twirling, Swirling
I twirl and I swirl.
I look at the blade
And I see peace.
I twirl and I swirl.
I wonder and I hope,
As I stare at the blade.
I hear it call my name,
Begging me to use it.
I wonder if maybe,
I'll stop twirling and swirling,
Long enough to give into the blade.
I wonder if I can stop
Twirling and swirling.
I wonder.
I stop.
My heart beats,
Faster then ever.
I wonder if I have given into the blade.
I know I stopped
Twirling and swirling.

I like these poems. You use macabre to create a strong effect, eg with the "giggling" in the first poem and the intrinsic lightness of "twirling" in the second poem. These poems have a strong linear story-like thrust, and -- most importantly -- they flow easily. Since poems are ultimately intellectual or emotional probes, it's interesting that you prefer to resolve with "cannot be resolved" (ie, the ending is not final or definite -- you end the first with a question and the second without confirmation that suicide has taken place). I also like to do that, heh. It is the most honest-to-life, in a way. I would feel cheap writing a resolution when I know that there isn't one possible. On the other, it's also a bit of a dead end.

Thank you. At the time that I wrote them, I was in a very depressing stage in my life, so I took entertainment in the oddest of places, including the shadows. These were my thoughts as I tried to get past the darkness.
When I first posted these or showed my friends, they thought they were rather light and happy poems, until they read them again, and caught the meaning of the words.
And with the subjects in the poems, they really haven't been completely resolved so they would have an open ending.
I thank you for your wonderful words and I hope that I can keep hearing from you and others.

Well done, Rose! I like them, particularly the second one. I love the ending to that:


Great job! That really worked with the rest of the poem and left the reader with a sinking sort of curiosity.

I really should look at this stuff more often..
Anyways, Kevin, dear, *hugs.* Thank you for your words. I'm glad that I can make a poem enjoyable, while still having a good edge to it.

Well you certainly did and that's a rare and powerful talent! This is definitely a poem I intend to read again.

Which is saying something, because 85-90% of the literature, movies, television, etc. that I experience - even if I really really like it - I don't have any desire to experience again. I'm the sort of person who likes a surprise and savours something while experiencing it. So I read things very slowly and carefully, I stop and ponder before I continue, and I'll re-read within the same sitting. Similarly, I've often paused movies and DVDS and rewound them to watch a scene over again before I go on, or simply stopped them for awhile to reflect on things. Once I'm done though, once I've watched it, or read it, and had my contemplation and my discussion, I'm usually done. As I said, I like a surprise, so even if it's completely awesome I usually don't bother to experience it again unless I've somehow managed to forget most of it. I will continue to talk about it, and try to remember what I was feeling when I first experienced, and what I was originally thinking, but I yeah, seldom 'do it again'.

This poem though is in the minority of literature (or any art, except possibly visual/painting art - although even there I think the deepest experience is often in the first viewing/pondering/feeling) that I definitely do intend to experience again. This is probably because not only is the message of the piece powerful and moving, BUT most importantly the meter and rhythm make it something more akin to music, something which can delight the mind the tongue and ears over and over. However, the thing that definitely brings it all together and nails it is that last couplet. I suspect as long as I continue to read the piece with care that last couplet will continue to affect me.


On a side note, I have to say that this 're-readability' if you will, is probably the number one thing I get out of poetry that I don't get out of most literature. A good poem is a joy to be read from a linguistical and auditory point of view, and this presentation of the emotion often manages to make it powerfully enduring. I won't say I prefer poetry to standard literature, indeed if for some bizarre and twisted reason I had to 'choose', I'd almost certainly go with standard literature, but I will say that they're fundamentally different IMO and the pleasures to be gained from each are very different. The best literature is both beautiful and intellectually and emotionally moving; the best poetry is similarly both beautiful and intellectually and emotionally moving. However, 'decent' or 'acceptable' literature doesn't necessarily have to be beautiful, and 'decent' or 'acceptable' poetry doesn't necessarily have to be intellectually and emotionally moving.

In any case, however, "Twirling, Swirling" is both

-Kevin