Review for “Hidden in Cancun” by TL The Writing Tiger

Everyone needs a nice relaxing vacation, right? Well, don’t always count on your vacation to exceed your expectations. Sometimes we discover that which we do not want to discover even if the discovery is a necessity. This was a good story overall. I liked how there would be clues along the way, yet there was also something unforeseeable along the way. I really liked it, and it’s a good one to read if you have an extra hour or two.

Anthology mania! It's finally up! Look at all of us rushing to read.

I love this story. It's long, a great plus, lol, but also because it's a little lesson of self-discovery, realizing you cannot hide forever. It's amazing that a trip to Cancun could make Scott realize this, but I'm glad that he did. It was nice following his attraction to Ross- very subtle hints that you had to pay attention to intially. At first, his funky mood could be mistaken for jealously, but reading carefully, it's more than that, something underlying. I was very proud of him for telling Carrie the truth right away, at least about the marrying part. Very honorable to be honest now, to save her future, even if it's painful at first. Although, I was INSANELY pissed at Carrie for blurting out Ross's name, causing him to be taken into custody. That was the only bum spot in the entire thing.

Happy stories are my favorite, or at least with a happy ending. I was very pleased that Scott and Carrie were on speaking terms and got along even when they got home. Even better: Ross's family listening to Scott and then Ross coming home.

And the kiss at the end and inviting Scott to say---a perfect ending.

Well done, as usual. Expected nothing less than excellency.

Krista and Graeme have developed this way of telling stories that's, well, brilliant. To the point, conveying what's necessary, and creating a convincing world with each paragraph. What I like particularly about Krista's writing is the edginess. If temporal art is based on contraction and release, there were moments of rising action in this story when I really feel my breath being scraped away.

So, Hidden in Cancun in particular. The scene where Ross and Scott first kiss was one of those moments that I lost my breath. It was very well done. I also really enjoyed the fact that Scott showed all the signs of *dis*liking Ross throughout the first half -- it makes their romance all the juicier. If I've any complaints, it's that I felt the exposition of how Carrier forgave Scott could've been further developed. In other words, I don't think she'd have forgiven him so easily, or at least so magnanimously.

This was a great read. And it had a perfect ending.

I want to personally thank Menzo for his grand editing skills, making this story read tons better, I'm sure. This was a long story, so I know I probably gave him a few head aches over it, but! His dedication has been a blessing really.

Thanks Tim, for the review for my story!

Thanks to the Anthology Team for allowing me to post the story for this Anthology.

Lol. At first this story didn't end happily, I don't know why I change my endings so much, but eh, it was a lot darker than what I had it at first. These three characters, for some reason, were difficult for me to maintain. Ross didn't come easily to me at all. Anyway, Thanks Tiff, I'm glad you took the time to read my story and leave a comment.

The kissing scene with Ross was my favorite scene to write actually. I should have let the relationship with Carrie and Ross take hold in the story in a lot more detail, reading back now after reading your comment, Carrie and Scott's relationship was lack-luster after the arrest scene and the promise Carrie made. But, it was already a monster of a story, for my standards. lol. I'm glad you took the time to read my story.

Krista I loved it.

I really do admire the way you portrayed the character Scott. A young boy, driven to follow his mother's wishes at the cost of his own life. And sadly this is the case to many of us out there. Not wanting to turn our family against us we do as they wish. No matter what the outcome of ourselves are because of this we still do it because that's how much we love our family. I knew Ross was hiding something, that was pretty obvious, that he was hiding, but from what really threw me...

It's a real shame that beautiful young girls like Carrie are taken advantage of like this. They deserve better, everyone deserves better. But despite how angry Carrie is, she tries to overlook what had happened to figure out Ross's story, and in the end is the reason why Scott found Ross.

The best part about this story is that we won't know what ever becomes of Ross and Scott, nope it's all left for the reader's imagination.

Again Thank you Krista!

I was mad about this as well, but remember, she had no clue. She didn't know anything about his past, she had no clue saying his name would cause that to happen.

Thank you for reading and leaving comments LC! It is true that people are led to believe something, as a "shadow" to stand under, I just wanted a person to represent that shadow for Scott. Carrie was the only option, he could have back home, but on Vacation, are those relevant at the time?



Yeah. I find myself feeling sorry for Carrie when I re-read it, but being mad at her at the same time. I know I didn't intend for that to happen, but there is more evidence there, than actually seeing her as the innocent bystander to larger things. But, I guess that would be the dog.

Isn't it funny how you write all of this one way, yet when you go back and read it again you find things in there you didn't even think about and just wrote anyway. I find myself always writing something, and later on it ends up being something I never even thought of... Did that make any sense? hahaha

So... I'm still impenitently waiting for your other stories Krista <3 <3 <3

-Mike

Very intriguing stroy, Krista! I liked Ross from the beginning and desparately wanted to know what happened to make him run away. Interesting twist there! I thought the ending was rushed a little, but I'm glad it was happy! I wasn't expected Ross to show up. I especially like how he ran after Scott. They did that a lot, didn't they?

Yes, the way I write it is difficult to keep a character on track sometimes. Then again, they do change how they are needed as well. As for other stories, I'm busy.. haha. I actually started a story for the Escape Anthology then decided it would be better fitted as a serial.. so now I have to come up with another Escape story.

Anyway, thanks for commenting - Again.

Thanks for reading my story!! You had to anyway, but I'm glad you liked it. The ending wasn't originally the ending at all. I guess I've become a "hopeless romantic gushy" type of writer recently... lol. Oh well, I'll shape up... haha


Thanks again!

Personally, I like "Hollywood endings" (as I call them), so you've already shaped up IMHO.

So, now I'm curious... what happened in the original version? Do we get to hear about this alternate ending?

I'll be glad to tell you lol, I never wrote the ending, but the outline I had.. ended with Ross running from authorities and being shot and killed in Cancun after being outed by Carrie - Because Scott tells her about his past and she reacts and goes behind the scenes and such. But anyway, so it ended with Ross being killed, shot in the back on the beach - ending then with a funeral scene in Texas.

Which ending would you have wanted? lol.

*snort* no contest!

Thanks, Krista!

It was long read (there went my lunch break), but enjoyable. I found the first part hard going because it felt 'wrong'. The reactions were off, somehow, but I learnt later why that was the case. Scott was forcing things, which is why he had those mental references to his plans, and being worried they'd go off track. It didn't read like someone who was planning to propose.

I was pulled in by Ross's secret, and then his eventual story. I'm surprised he only got the discharge at the end -- I expected at least some time for desertion. However, that wouldn't have given us the fairytale ending... and I'm a romantic, so I love that sort of ending. It's a stretch to have Ross show up at just that moment, but that's what poetic license is for!

Overall, I loved it. It was just a struggle at the start, but that's because I tend not to notice those little hints and details that explain what is really going on. Keep up the good work!

Lol. Aww, I would've so left and ate my lunch if I had to read my stuff.. haha. Anyway, the first part I honestly did struggle to write as I didn't want to push too much information all into the beginning to make the middle and end boring, but then again it would've been a lot shorter of a story so it may have not been a bad thing to do, and would've allowed me to want to write out the ending a lot better.

I had this story ending way differently, but it's Spring so I decided to be lighter, there are a few stories coming from me in the future where Romanticism doesn't win out at the end of the day. Maybe.

Thanks for reading Graeme I look forward to your comments.