A deeply emotional journey, this story tugs at many different heart strings.

Oft melancholy, mixed with foreboding, but through it all, a ray of hope shines through. The journal is a true window on the brother's soul, painting a life, and its tragedy, in vivid snapshots.

The peeks into the life and mind of a man whose life is fading are poignant; we see the emotional roller-coasted that such a journey causes, and the hopes lost.... The what-might-have-beens.

The overall message, though, at least to me, is that from the darkness, hope can spring, for life, in its sometimes cruel procession, goes on.

Very well done, Tim
CJ

This story was so emotionally charged I had to stop reading it at first because it made me too angry.

It touches raw nerves and sensitive places that you might not have known you had.

Eventually I got myself under control and was able to finish it.

I can't say you'll enjoy reading this story because it's not that kind of story; and neither is the theme of this anthology. Regardless, I highly recommend reading it. It's very relevant to all generations even though it focuses primarily on one generation.

Writing the story for me was quite emotional as well. I was inspired by some documentaries. I thought to myself, "What was it like during those days?" Unfortunately, a history of depression makes me all to familiar with the feelings of hopelessness and anger with the world. The only times I was usually inspired to add portions to this story was during sad times. I hope this story serves as a reminder to everyone of the struggles we face as a community or the world for that matter. I can imagine there are many real-life stories such as this one. I wrote it for them.

This was a very intense, very raw story. It touches on emotions I don't think I could find without going to some very hard places in my soul.

Thanks Paul. I would like to thank Jan for editing and Gary for beta-reading. I would also like to thank Sacha for advice. I would also like to thank C James, Graeme, Joe, and BeaStKid for their fantasitic efforts as well as anyone else who worked behind the scenes on my story.

Well first I want to comment that I liked the mixture of Poetry within the Journal entries, and as well as the bit of reflection and further telling of the story by the brother in the end. I realized in the beginning that it was going to be heavy read. The parts about being a failure as a father were especially difficult, and, it was easy to feel sorry for him about that.

Anyway, one thing about the story that to me, didn't seem to fit was the strong feelings and forced humor in the scene with the nurse. It just didn't seem to follow the thoughts of someone that died or got too weak to write not long after that one entry, but that's just me being picky.. lol. In all, this was a powerful story, that had a strong emotional insight on what it could've been like to be a person suffering from Aids and dying in a time where the disease was new and not well known.

So, good job.

Tim, I apologise for taking so long to respond. I read the story originally when I was helping to get the anthology ready, but I've been so busy since that I've only just come back to it.

I found the way you did the two parts very effective. We get one brother's view of the world, and while he's unhappy and at times bitter, I still sensed a strong defiance in him. The world was not there for him to fit in, but was there to fit to him! He was bisexual and he was happy with that, even though it caused pain.

Then we get the other brother's view of the world, and we see how different they were. This one has been more cautious, or, as he put it, less brave. But like the tortoise, his slow and steady approach to life has seen him last the distance. He's found a love and watched as his niece and nephew found lives and loves of their own. He brother's life was quick burning flame -- bright and illuminating, but short lived. His life has been a slow simmer, but with a soft warm glow that eventually shone through.

Okay... I'm blaming you, Tim. I don't normally get that poetic...

Congratulations!

Thanks Graeme. I really wanted to capture the man's pain but not overlook the potential vibrancy he would have had if he had lived. As for the brother, his approach kept him alive during a time when so many were dying slow, agonizing deaths. Indeed their approaches to life were much different. I think there was definitely some irony in the fact that Richard did not know that his brother was gay and the fact that he thought he was to blame for his brother's failed marriage. As for being poetic, I really don't mind. Poetry is something I haven't been writing lately, but I still love it.

Well humour is one of the most powerful and well-ingrained defense mechanisms.

I meant to quote him but I forgot. In any case I think Graeme summed things up best.


I will say that for my part I was surprised at how little focus Richard Jr. got in comparison to Kate. Was the daughter the favourite child? Was there a particular reason? Or am I simply reading too much into this, lol?


Anyway, nice job, Tim

-Kevin

Yes, Kate was his little princess, Kev. Believe it or not, I would love to have a daughter, and that was part of the reason for the coverage of her. Anyway, thanks for comments. They are appreciated.