Here you go you can all read my new series.. it has 5 parts and will be uploaded one part every friday...

you can catch chapter 1: Jake

lets open the discussion...

That was an good chapter, Sacha. I found it particularly interesting what they brought to school.

I really liked this, it's a great start.

I can kind of sense where this will be going, as perhaps that was your intent; to give us hints. I like those hints, like Nathan heard something weird that made him freak out, but he couldn't be sure. Or the boy who didn't answer, and then the pain.

For a chapter that doesn't have too much action, it has a really amazing hook, and I definitely want to read more and find out what's going on.

Yay for the next post!

Yeah I really liked the hook of this story as well, because it promises to reveal more details of what happened that day at the school as we see the perspective of different people in the story. There are things you want to know more about and you want to learn more about the characters.

FrenchCanadian, that is a good start to the story, I love Chapter 1 as you began the story off with a sex scene as you did in the previous story. I was captivated by the scene until the hit made me think different like making me say to myself, "What happened?" or "Who did it??" as I know this will turn into a maybe "whodunnit" story without the murders, only the attack in the school.

He left that item in his bag from last time.

Good way to show how the day evolved, poor boy, wonder why he decided to shoot him, after Jake was trying to be nice?

if it was him that shot him.

Looking foward to chapter 2

Thanks Tiger! and yes,, always have one on you,,,



Thanks Tiff, actually, there's one, maybe two, little 'hints' that you haven't yet mention,



Thank Rakuten,,, glad that you enjoyed the sex scene,,, 'cause it's the biggest of the story



Thanks Drewbie!

you all will see what happen next on friday!! This time around, you'll be read about Nathan,, and maybe you'll realize that things are not what they seemed like on the first read.

You took one of my line, "hey that's my job" that had Jason trademark written all over it.

Nice start Sacha, I love the way you've written it and the way you keep us hungry for next friday

Jason aka Moonwolf aka the guy without a left earlobe

hehe, what?!? it's just fun to incorporate little trade mark lines

Everyone the second part : Nathan is now released for you to go read,,, here

Enjoy!!!!!

next chapter next friday!

..............Good story so far, I'm sure the fallen cafeteria guy is probably the shooter it was nice you left little cliffies at each end

Nice chapter Sacha, I liked the way you changed the POV, it's interesting to see all those different views.

and hun who's who ? nathan is you one minute and then you're Jake

Jason aka Moonwolf

Forgot it's up

going to in a few.

EDIT

I agree with Benji who the shooter is. Jake must be horrified to hear your boyfriend/friend got shot, im thinking sandra will be helpful to nathan.

This chapter completely changes what I think about your writing style, like you bringing the darker side to the story to make it look like it may be a "whodunnit" story to see who is the shooter. I haven't guessed that much since I saw the "The Big Gay Sketch Show" which features "Who did Svetlana Shoot?" lol...

I won't say on either way, but I'll say that the shooter has indeed been seen in the first 2 chapters,, and I'll be more impressed if you can guess the less obvious time but both of you has good theory.



Thanks!

btw, this coming friday you'll read with Timothy's POV...

I definitely agree with this. You get the feeling reading the first two chapters and that the author will be exploring more complexities as the story continues, that not everything is as it appears on the surface. I don't see it as a whodunnit in the traditional sense. I see it was a "why did this tragedy happen" story and how did this tragedy affect the lives of the people in this school.

T.G.I.F. is back again and with it comes another chapter of the story,,, available to read Part 3 : Timothy

As always, feel please to leave your comments!

Really do like having different prospectives, Tim like a counselor? Damien defends Noa yea proably not the best thing to punch him shawn, but could see he wanted to prove a fag could defend himself.

I'm thinking that Tim might be helping out with Nathan, caught on that he almost instantly what Jake meant to Nathan.

Omg Jake, Nathan.

I liked this chapter provided a whole new perspective to the story, definitely one of my favorite chapter. Timothy really knows his students well and I was impressed about the way Timothy handled Nathan and how Nathan really did want to talk about his relationship. I wonder if Nathan wanted to say something earlier.

Also I like how Timothy wasn't perfect, human when he got a little mad at Nancy, he probably shouldn't have, but sometimes you can't like every student equally. Sometimes people just rub you the wrong way.

Wow, this side of the story almost made me cry when I heard that Jake died on the way to the hospital, but I'm impressed that Nancy accepted Nathan's talk of the relationship, so it left me pondering if I want to read more because of death always pains me....

I too am digging the different perspectives. Today's chapter is no different, this time we get a glimpse of Nancy, who is something of a witch, isn't she? You wonder what drives her to do what she does, does she feel insecure deep down inside?

Yeah, it's a first time that I will see inside of a cheerleader sho will gossip at all times, but a problem is that she wants 15 minutes of fame and the shooting gives her the opportunity to do it in hope to become a emmy-winner actress. I can't wait to read the next and last chapter, Chapter 5! I wonder what Chapter 5 will be in which point-of-view...

Ugh, just to get on tv, she never cared for him at all. I'd be happy to learn if she finds out about Nathan and Jake.

Next chapter might be from jake's parents or the shooter pov.

For those that haven't realized,, Chapter 4 : Nancy is there to be read



Oh she's simply a bitch quite simple, she thinks only about her own self. She's the kind of girl that couldn't care less about the feeling of the others. On the contrary, she's not insecure, quite the opposite, she's full of herself. In her mind, she's the best, the one and only one and every one else should bend over or bow when she walks by.



And she didn't mind lying to get it done either! anything that would make her more 'powerful'.

I can tell you already, Chapter 5 will be about Damien and it will indeed conclude the story

I just got caught up with this one. It's a good story so far. It is a little disturbing. School shootings are a serious problem these days, yet some people seem to be numb. Sacha, I must give you props for writing. The story is well done, and you should definitely be proud!

Isn't that kind of an Irony,, going all, "Oh I thought that something coulda happened between him and me" when in fact she thought he was a looser,



It certainly can be indeed very disturbing,, it's not an easy subject to talk about, it's mostly a taboo one. I cannot yet say everything by fear of revealing too much info for the last chapter, but one thing that I tried to expose is the media coverage of such events. Journalist in such event can go beyond their job description of informing the public with a search of good publicity, who gonna have that right image of the student crying from all of the ordeal and such...

for the other topics, I can't yet express my point of view just yet

Journalist, I feel when school shootings happen, is that they give the shooter to much attention, they take advantage of students in general.

Read again on chapter four, I hate nancy even more, she's a spoiled brat, obviously likes Nathan alot, Don't know about the rest of you guys, but does it seem that the popular ones in high school, think it's going to help them after school and it's more important? most times, they won't have the attention etc, after it, a good old wake up call.

This is totally true, after high school, those clashes between the popular and the geek-er or others, are faded away.

The last part of the story is now up and running Rashomon Effect : Damien

Some of you did get it right,,, but I'm pretty sure that none of you saw everything coming.

Wow, wasn't expecting to be him. He should of never shot a gun, there should be no excuse, but in a way still feel sorry for the guy. Maybe it's because it's a story I feel differently.


Great Story Sacha,

Got me emotional.

Thanks drewbie!

Exactly there's absolutely no excuses for what he's done, that's for sure. What he's done should never be an answer. But, that you feel sorry for the guy is a good thing as it was kinda my point. To make him do something that he certainly shouldn't have done, but still not make him a cold heartless murderer.

Hey there,

My favorite chapters, or POV were from Nathan and Damien. I felt so sad that Nathan lost Jake, and had somehow sensed that Jake had already died before he even heard the official news. And it's incredibly unfair that Jake was actually nice and polite enough to say hi, but ended up getting shot anyway.

However, like Drewbie, I do feel for Damien as well. All these school shootings always follow the same pattern; the kids were bullied or felt forced into that position. That small scene in the bathroom when he held the gun in his hand and felt powerful, that was wonderfully written and probably very truthful. I also liked that you wrote he was scared of that violent feeling that overcame him. It showed his inner battle: to get back at those bullies or just brush it off. In high school, I think it's harder to deal with bullying than when you're older, since all you want to do is fit in and be liked when you're younger.

The reason I feel sad for Damien is because he was a good kid, and the love he had for his younger brother was really beautiful, that he was thinking of his well-being until the very end. He's protective of his sick friend, but after all that harassment from students, he went a little crazy. It was bound to happen and I almost don't blame him for that either. He saw bullies everywhere, seeing Phil's face instead of Jake's. There's no excuse for what he did, but it was tragic on his end as well.

This story was really well-written and very emotional. I was either feeling sad or angry at the homophobic students, and that Nancy! Ooh, I disliked her. You portrayed the dynamics of school life very clearly. I remember Mr. Johnson saying there was a no tolerance policy for harassment; hopefully something good can come of this situation and they can educate their students better. There is some hope for the future, perhaps.

Nevertheless, the ending was amazing. Did Damien want to get shot by the cops? Did he want the choice to kill himself being taken out of his hands? Is that why he kept walking towards them, not dropping the knife?

I think FrenchCanadian handled Damien with incredible care and sensitivity. He didn't make him a monster, he didn't make him totally helpless. But he did show how a certain sequence of events in Damien's life lead to an incredibly tragic moment. It seems that if only one thing had changed that day, maybe the tragedy could have been averted, but it didn't. The chapter constantly surprised me, I didn't exactly know how it was going to turn out once I started it and that's always a good thing.

Alright, first Thanks very much Tiff, your comments were very welcome.

Damien was indeed 'created' to be a good guy that simply done something very bad. I'll say that in some way he was pushed to it tho. but still that is no excuses.

Nancy is indeed THE bitch the queen bee. I wrote her as the ensemble of all the worst of my high school.

Now, about the end,,, suicide by cop was the final point since early on in the writing. Did he die or did he survive to that, it is to all of you to decide, at least for now (I don't have any plan to make a sequel, but I never say never). Now, why did he do that, there's two possibility; The first one is,,, he simply didn't have the guts to kill himself and therefore made them do the dirty work. Or the second one, the one that I'm more incline to think, is that he didn't exactly know what he was doing.

I happen to like how some of it was left to the imagination. He was definitely in an unusual situation. I do have a question though. Why did the school not have metal detectors?

Did your school had metal detectors? Wow. That's usually fairly rare for American high schools, even in this day and age.

Actually, in my mind it the school is a private high school, hence the school uniform as seen in the Nancy's POV. And most of those,, and for high school in general don't have any metal detector installed. By itself, it's not a bad neighborhood, and all so there was never any need for metal detectors.

Didn't you say that you wanted to make an extra chapter for the story? Any chance of that happening anytime soon? You had mentioned about Noa...

Think it was mentioned at a point, but I'm quite happy with the ending.

quick note for a job well done on rashomon. good read though next time have nancy killed as well please ? love the ending though as I said you might have nancy killed as well


What's the talk about a new chapter ? You didn't even tell me about it keeping secrets from me are ya honestly though I was impressed with the way you handled so many different pov the way you did it... it's like you have a lot of different personalities...

great job hun

Jason aka Moonwolf

Kill Nancy?!? And have her die as a martyr!?! I wouldn't want that at all she'd be remembered as the poor little (slut) teen that died for nuthin. I wouldn't want them to make some foundation in the name of Jake and that queen bee!!!! In my mind she wouldn't deserve all the rememberance that she'd get.

I'm sure that I had told you about the. Chapter that I have planned with the pov of noah.... I know that we've talked about him.... And btw thank you for finally taking the time for commenting sweets

I know I've talked about the pov with Noah with moonwolf as well. Someone's gotten a little forgetful.