(I always thought that it would be "immodest" of the author to start these discussions, but... I'm an impatient procrastinator.)

Here's the link to the first chapter of my latest story, Dismantle the Sun. I won't repeat the summary, but I will say that it's my first significant foray into first person and my take on the high school cliche. Fresh air is guaranteed. The story is still a WIP, but I update regularly.

All feedback is welcome. My skin is very thick.

Corvus,

I think I posted a review, but it may have slipped my mind, as I've been busy - I'm moving and will be starting a new job, and there are a lot of loose ends to tie up. In any case, having started out my GA career in eFiction a couple of years ago, I certainly know how confusing the system can be, and if you don't start your own discussion thread, trust me, unless you're really outstanding and about to be made a hosted author, no one else will.

Now based on what you've written so far, I think you're off to a very good start. This definitely has potential. I've been reading your story and that's a rarity for me when it comes to eFiction. If a story isn't well-written and if the plot doesn't hold my interest, I just don't have the time these days to read it, much as I'd like to help all the aspiring authors I can. If you keep up with the quality and if the plot holds together and if your next story or short story reads this will, I should hope you'll be promoted to a Promising Author - you're definitely in that league - or better.

What I particularly like about this story is what I find most frustrating - that you don't rush into things. I wish I had your patience when it comes to my writing. I like the frustration you're building in your main character, and in each of your characters. They're real. The raw emotions are palpable. You've also built up a lot of mystery - your characters are multidimensional and there is a lot we don't know about them yet. The one issue I see as a potential problem is that you're building up quite a few major characters very quickly, all of whom seem critical to the plot and who form important pieces of the puzzle. I'm having a little difficulty keeping track of them all at this point, and that can turn readers away. I think you're still OK, but you're on the margin in this regard, and I'm occasionally having to go back and look people up to remember who they are. Pathetic, I know, but I forget people between chapters. There's no perfect way to handle this in a serial, but you might want to introduce characters more slowly. Otherwise, you're doing great.

Hey Altimexis, glad you're enjoying DtS. I've got the whole story in my head, and it's almost frustrating that I have to *write* it. There's never enough time for that. I'm glad you pointed out the thing about having maybe too many character prop up in the first chapter -- it's true; I put forth five or so in 3000 words, which is a rather tight space. It's particularly hard for me to judge, because I know them so well already. Thanks for pointing that out. Oh, and I don't think I got a review from you, but the review system on eFiction was pretty funky two or so weeks ago.

corvus

Don't worry about starting your own thread corvus. Were it not for this thread I wouldn't have known you'd posted more chapters of DtS. I know your signature makes it obvious, however I don't see many messages from you in the forums.

.....Hey Corvus, I just finished the 3rd chapter of your DiS story, and I like the way it seems to be headed. I can't figure out Kate Landauers angle, for a brat like her to be as cordial as she is to Nick, well something isn't quite right!!

Jeez Benji! I'm stalking corvus and it feels like you're stalking me today.

I also just finished Chapter 3 and like the way it seems to be headed. Nick clearly has the hots for Alec. I hope they manage to say more than a few words to each other in each sentence. What do you do when you've got two guys who aren't talkers? It's going to take a long time for them to get together isn't it?

Darius and Kate have me confused. I think Darius simply has no backbone. But like Benji I'm wondering what's up with Kate being so nice to Nick. She's planning something isn't she?

As I mentioned in my review you've thrown a lot of characters at us in just three chapters. Hopefully they won't all turn out to be important, but I've created a character guide just in case.

Overall I really like DiS so far. You do 1st person very well. Nick hardly seems like a fictional character to me. That's how good a job you're doing with him. When's the next chapter going to be released?

HEY GARY! Nice to see you again!!! Yay for Corvus's two awesome stalkers uniting once again!

Anyway, I've read all the chapters and I'm definitely intrigued and am very eager to read more. I want to see how Nick and Alec's relationship pans out. I definitely agree that it will be a slow development, and who knows, maybe they will only remain friends. Everyone could use great friends. And crushes are never permanent.

I'm very curious about Wiggleworth and that last name cracks me up every time. Love it. It makes reading this piece that much better; the entertaining names. Darius appears not to have much of a backbone, but then again, he seems more unhappy and discontent with life more than anything, so he kind of floats on by with disinterest. Maybe he'll show more passion and personality when it's worth it. For some odd reason, I'd kind of like Darius and Nick to either get together or become good friends. I need to know more about Darius and why he's so blah. Like, the whole "poor little rich boy."

And of course I want to know more about Nick and why he seems like the brooding kid who sticks to himself. Typical Corvus style; a character cannot be bright and happy, bouncing on trampolines and doing cartwheels!

There are a lot of names, but I read slow, so I kind of know who's who.

I'd also like to add that Corvus is doing a fine job with first person. You have no trouble getting into the mindset of Nick and I feel like NIck is a real person and not some author spewing out his own thoughts and feelings. Then again, i don't know you that well, so who knows!

P.S. I feel ashamed. I'm a bad stalker. I didn't start a forum thread for you, Bad me! But I was waiting for something big to happen so I could whine about it.

Hi back at'cha Tiff. We are indeed united once again. Woo-hoo.

I'm glad you're enjoying corvus' new story as much as I am.

I think he'd fall over dead from shock or something if he tried creating bright and happy characters. Part of me wonders if this is a reflection on his own personality. Care to comment on that corvus?

LOL!

Corvus cannot write a happy piece. Deep down he must be cynical and brooding. Oh well, he's still a good writer....so I'll take it.

Just make this piece a bit happier, because M&W really hurt. It just hurt. If this story is not spewing cupcakes and balloons, that's fine, but I don't want to be crying over the main character and their pain.

Damn, now this brings back my sad feelings over Mike.

*curses*

I thought it was spewing cupcakes already, Tiff. Melina seems to have an inexhaustible supply of cupcakes at the ready. Especially at theater practice.

I'm working on M&W right now, so I get the dubious pleasure of reliving the pain. Great, huh? Maybe someday corvus will see fit to do a sequel in which Mike winds up in a happy situation far away from his screwed-up family and that wimp with no backbone, Winston!

hear, hear!


oh, I should probably say something about DtS... I can't figure out how Nick and Alec are going to end up together! it was so painful, I would've totally given up! although, I probably would've been the one making a mess of things (ie - Alec). oh, and I have a sinking feeling that Alec and Darius have been together in the past...

Wow. That sure caught me by surprise. Care to elaborate please?

Hmm. Something like that might, and I emphasize might, explain why Darius is ignoring Nick; jealousy perhaps. But it doesn't explain why Kate is suddenly being so nice to Nick. Unless Darius told her to be nice to Nick because Nick stood up for Alec when Kate was picking on Alec. Given Kate's apparent attitude about gay people I'd think she'd dump Darius if she thought he were gay or at least gay-friendly. Maybe the gold digger in Kate is willing to put up with this because she thinks she has a shot at marrying a rich guy.

I'm speculating too much. But at least it keeps this thread near the top of the View New Posts lists.

I just think Kate is being the bitchy teenage girl who thinks she'll piss Melina off more by being super nice to her best friend.

As for the Alec and Darius thing, it's just a feeling I get... Darius being the stereotypical closeted gay football player dating the cheerleader. Alec being very skittish around Darius for very little reason... you know, 2+2=5...

Respectfully, I think it was made clear in Chapter 2 that Darius is not a jock.

Melina shook her head. “I don’t think Darius is a jock.”

I searched for any reference to the word football and came up empty.

Also, Kate has already done a great job of pissing-off Melina by apparently providing a rather harsh review of the theater group's latest play in Chapter 3.

"Yeah," Greg said nervously. "Actually, Melina's having an argument."

"Huh?"

[...]

"What're they going on about?"

Greg and Alec exchanged a glance. "Melina heard that other girl say something about Les Misérables," Greg explained. "And it wasn't very nice."

I think there's more going on here than we've been told about so far. So in that sense I agree with you that 2+x=5. We need to find out what x equals.

Yikes, I stink at making math analogies, .

ack! not sure where I came up with football then. probably because the girlfriend was a cheerleader. at least corvus isn't writing the typical gay story.

I also got the feeling that Melina and Kate have been rivals for awhile... am I imagining that, too?

I just noticed that corvus is not being consistent about Darius. In Chapter 3 he has Nick thinking about Darius as a jock while the two of them are waiting to use the bathroom at the post-show party. At another point in the story, in the pizza place I think, Nick thinks to himself that Darius had probably never lifted anything heavier than his own hand. Hardly the sign of a jock.

I haven't seen any outright rivalry between Kate and Melina. Although Melina does refer to Kate as a gossip when talking to Nick about what happened between Nick and Kate when Nick came to Alec's rescue in the first chapter.

This is why it's good to get reader feedback. You guys are noticing things that I didn't, or that I simply took for granted.

I'm afraid I can't give away backstories, but I will say that Wigglesworth wears a tie and a blazer. And he sulks. And that 2 + 2 =/= 4.

I also get the feeling that Darius and Alec were together at some point. It was very subtle during the party, when Darius entered the crowd while Kate and Melina were fighting (is that correct?), Alec kind of shrunk away and tried to hide himself as if he didn't want to be seen by Darius.

I'm going to reread the chapters because I have nothing better to do....except study for finals...but I don't remember, is Alec gay for sure? No, right? Kate was just harassing him, but it wasn't confirmed. What if Alec is straight and Nick and him end up just being friends? And maybe Alec is uncomfortable with Darius because Darius hit on him?

Ok, I am totally speculating here!

Questions, questions, questions!!

The closest I've seen Alec come to admitting he's gay is in Chapter 1 right after Nick interrupts the verbal abuse Kate is heaping upon Alec. Nick says to Alec that he doesn't care if Alec is, and for a moment almost uses the "fag" word like Kate did, but instead says, "that way." Alec, knowing full well that Nick heard what Kate was saying looks down and replies, "Yeah." So, no outright admissions yet. But hey, no outright denial either. I like it when there's hope.

You're right about the verbal shouting match at the party. Clearly Alec didn't want to be seen by Darius. As for why, I don't recall it ever being made clear. So for now we're left to speculate. Is it because of a previous relationship? Maybe the reason Darius is in public school is because he was tossed out of private school for being outed. Perhaps Darius and Nick got caught in a compromising situation. Although from what we know so far I just can't see the two of them as a couple or even as just being together for the sex. Then again the shirking away might be because Alec is still concerned that Darius will beat him up because of the incident with Kate. Although I think it far more likely Darius would exact his revenge on Nick than Alec.

The big house on the hill that belongs to Darus' parents, and where the post-show party took place, still has me very confused. Why does the family live in town when they have this beautiful mansion in the hills?


Corvus is such a tease. I have no idea what he means. Yes, I know that's how he wants it. Be careful corvus or your two friendly stalkers might turn into evil stalkers.


[Edit reason: Ack, I need an editor!]

Darius had said that his parents use it as a model for their real estate business. Didn't Melina say that they were building new houses up in the hills? His parents could use this one as a model to sell more houses and then after the area is finished being developed, they's move in or sell it off. The development my parents moved into several years ago had a model house like that. They used it as a base to work out of to sell the lots before they built houses.

Maybe that's what corvus meant to write (), but here's what he actually wrote and there's no mention of a business. I took it to mean it was an investment property, even though it seemed odd there was a large photo gallery that was clearly of Daruis' family:

"They've got two. The one in town's where we usually live. This is for the real estate."

Nick did have the following thought on the way to the party, but there was no mention of new houses being built:

There was a pretty bad wildfire some years back, which made all the rich folks talk about moving away, but nothing happened. I guess the they liked looking down on the rest of us too much to find a safer place to build their indoor swimming pools.

hmm... well, I guess my over active imagination is showing through... I'll stop speculating now...

Did nobody but I wonder what's up with Alec and his pretty possessive dad? Alec is constantly nervous -- in general, even, but particulary when it comes to staying out late, and there's... shall we say, interesting vibes whenever his dad is mentioned. And the ominous dark driveway with his dad waiting for him when he gets home on that first evening...

Since you're his beta you probably know more about that than we do for now.

Seriously, nah, it just seemed like any normal high school kid whose parents are still a bit over-protective of their "baby".

I remember when I was in high school and got home late my parents, who would normally have been lounging in bed watching TV, would instead be in the living room fully dressed and waiting to give me the third-degree about why I was late.

Even the dark driveway didn't seem all that odd to me. In both of the houses I lived in when I was going to high school it was rare for there to be anything other than a few decorative lights turned on outside. Not nearly enough to light the place up. In fact at the second house it was dark enough that one time somebody felt comfortable enough to rob my mother as she and my dad were getting out of her car after returning home from dinner.

Corvus is a tease! He likes to be all mysterious and keep his readers guessing in agony. Evil, evil.

Well, if the author is evil by giving his readers an emotional punch every time he writes, then it's only fair his stalkers become evil as well.

Hmm, the distance is a problem, although I think we all live in the East Coast. Nah, we'll just stick to evil GA online stalking.




I kind of got that feeling too. Chapter 3 was weird in general. I was really confused as to why Alec was so much more jittery around Nick than he had ever been in the past. When they first met, he was a bit quiet, but I swear he was more talkative and open. I wondered if something happened in that short time frame that made him kind of shrink into himself?

Anyway, about the whole father thing. I got a weird vibe, but what Gary said about overprotective parents, that kind of makes sense. When I get home late, my Dad waits up for me. I walk inside the dark house and before I can make it up the stairs, there's this croaky, groggy voice calling out from the living room: "Hello Tiffani." It freaks me out.

However, on the other hand, we don't know too much about Alec. He's so closed off. Maybe he has his own family problems or secrets concerning his father? A bad relationship? His father might be sick and needs him home? Abuse, but for some reason I don't get that feeling.

I wonder how many chapters this one is. It's agonizing waiting to see how the story turns out. M&W was hard enough to wait for at only 9 chapters.

You're going to have to read M&W all over again; soon, I hope. I have the pleasure of editing it. It'll no longer be the rough draft corvus always claimed it was; although you could hardly tell it. Anyway, I'm halfway through with Chapter 8. I hope corvus will have time to make some of my suggested changes and re-post the story.

I think we should hop a plane for wherever corvus is and pay him a friendly visit. You know, tie him down and then tickle him until he gives up the secrets for DtS. And then tickle him some more just because we can. What'dya think Tiff? Hmm, I wonder where he's the most ticklish?

Well, he kept saying it was a rough draft, but it really didn't seem that way. If he reposts it, I don't think I can read it again. It's too sad!

Sure..."friendly" visit. You tie him up and tickle him while I get onto his computer and read the files and all his secrets. But with our luck, all his secrets are in his head!

Speaking of this story, I really like the title. I wonder what it means?

It's a line from a W.H. Auden poem called, Funeral Blues. Just how it applies to this story, or even if it applies to this story, I haven't a clue. But somehow it doesn't foreshadow a happy story. What a surprise, eh? I wonder how long it's going to take before corvus rips our hearts out again?

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead.
Put crepe bows round the white necks of public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West.
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last forever; I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood;
For nothing now can ever come to any good.

Haha, there's no outline for DtS. Sorry.

And Gary -- nice job; indeed I had been thinking of the Auden poem when coming up with the title. Some of the lines in that poem are like condensed sucker punches. We'll see how it fits in with the story itself.

Wow, Gary, poem freak much?

Oh god, that was a nice poem, very sad, made my stomach twist. I never really like poetry because I never understood it, but this poem just makes you really feel. BAD.

This is definitely not going to be a happy piece and IF it somehow has some resemblance of a happy ending, there will definitely be tons of ups and downs.

Funeral Blues-- does that mean someone is going to die?!? Oh man, that's even worse than M&W when Winston just leaves.

You're editing his stuff; do you know why Corvus is such a heart ripper outter?



That's right; not everyone works with outlines.

And you're no Angel! You said you were going to try to write happier pieces. Liar! Liar! Liar! *stomps on ground*

Gary, we must be prepared for more sucker punches. Do some crunches and tense those abs!

Don't judge a book by its cover, or a story by its title! Although I did choose that poem for a reason.

*puts duct tape back over mouth*

Auden died when I was taking my Honors English Lit class so we spent about a month studying his poems. Not really a topic for English Lit, but my teacher was very unconventional. I liked that a lot!


Funeral Blues is a real tear-jerker, isn't it?


He's a cold, heartless bastard whose only sense of pleasure comes from seeing other people being tortured in a way that leaves no visible scars. Only mental ones.


OK. Tell me one reason why I should believe this will be anything other than another, to quote Tiff, heart ripper outer? All you've ever written have been stories that make us feel as if you've used a Jade knife to tear into our chests and then rip out our hearts, holding them up for everyone to see as the beating gradually comes to a halt.

So... are readers allowed to vote for a happy ending?

The thing is, Corvus seems so nice and friendly in the forums, so it makes his writing that much more shocking and painful. It's like, where does it all come from? I guess you're right Gary. Underneath is all, he's just a cold, heartless, and sadistic bastard. (But I still love stalking him anyway).



Hmm, I think us readers should be allowed to vote for a happy ending. However, writing isn't a democracy; it's a totalitarian regime where the author is the dictator and can do anything he/she pleases!

Sigh. The writing world is very unfair.

Perhaps his beta or editor could pull a "CJ" and change each chapter in hopes corvus won't read it once he gets it back from us?

LOL! That's classic! And a great idea.

But I guess Corvus isn't so bad...sad sob stories are necessary every once in awhile to show that life sucks, and yeah, at least you're not the only one. That's some kind of rationalization and I don't even understand what I'm saying.

Hate to disappoint you people but I whole-heartedly approve of corvus's sucker-punching and such... So it won't happen. Although, as such, I admit it's a tempting idea.

Anyway I don't think your complaints are completely justified -- Mike and Winston was *really* uplifting in spite of the agonising bits, and so is DtS, even though Nick has been through some really depressing things such as his mother's birthday.

And I still think Alec's attitude to his dad is worth thinking about. I mean, he seems afraid of him -- that's different to people whose parents just wait up for them at night. Why is that? And what's up with his mother? And what's Nick's dad's story -- why did he leave? What is he doing now? And are there parallels between the fathers' stories...?

True, there are some aspects of M&W that were uplifting and even hopeful in terms of the future, but I guess I got too caught up in the emotional aspect of it all. And the way it ended, just like that....ok enough speculating!

You bring up a lot of very good questions! There are definitely some weird vibes and I guess we will just have to be patient and see what happens. I hope he sheds light on the family situation because it really gives insight as to why the characters are the way they are.

Now with all your questions, I am freaking eager for more of his chapters!

In M&W I think that overall Mike was in a better place at the end of the story than he was at the start of the story. He was out to everyone that mattered to him, and had made a good friend in Dan. What tore me up, the heart ripper outer if you will, was the cold-hearted way in which Winston chose to leave things with Mike. Maybe it was too painful, too tempting, to consider maintaining any sort of contact with Mike. But to just up and leave, turning his back and not even acknowledging Mike, thus leaving Mike in tears, was so mean, so cold, that I was absolutely beside myself with grief. Perhaps I should have been mad as hell instead. But I felt what I felt. I have no control over that.

Now, with regard to DtS. I think it would be great if corvus could get several chapters ahead and then establish a regular release schedule. That's a sure way to keep your fan-base. If people don't know when the next chapter is to be released they tend to wander off and find other stories to hold their interest. I've seen both sides of this issue with my authors so I'm speaking from experience here.

Mike was in a better place at the end if you really think about it. Me, I was just too blinded or injured from the ending to think beyond that point. But truthfully, he was finally out to his parents, even if his mother was taking it a bit emotionally. His relationship with his father left me feeling unsettled though. He did establish a strong friendship with Dan, and an honest one, and the future for them, in terms of being roommates does seem promising.

The single most painful aspect was the end, and I guess the more agonizing the ending is, the more memorable it will be. Well done Corvus! I really hated Winston when I read that part. I hated how he ignored Mike, and I both hated and admired Mike for running after Winston and offering him the chance to talk/call him. It was indeed cold to leave Mike like that, without even a glance or a word. And Mike crying? That was by far the worst. I really wish I was in the story so I could hug him!




I agree, having a regular release schedule really makes a difference, but I also know it can be hard. And I think he mentioned going to Germany over the summer. I know, I sound stalker crazy, but in my defense, he mentioned it in a different forum thread!

This was discussed in a different thread, but it would be a good idea to either have completed a story entirely or at least have a large portion of it completed. Writing from chapter to chapter makes the readers more impatient and inclined to search elsewhere for a good story. I'll take note of that in the future. Luckily, Corvus will always have his faithful stalkers.

Tiff, you deserve a medal for good stalkerhood.

Either tomorrow or the day after, I'm going to upload the next chapter of DtS. After which, I plan to finish my anthology entry. Then I'm taking a hiatus to study for my final exams, which end on the 24th. I get to go home for a week, and then I'm going to Germany for a few months. I'll be doing a research internship, but I also plan to: a) pump out DtS, finish the opera I've been writing over the last two years, and c) write whatever short stories or poems may come to mind while in Deutschland.

So that is my creative schedule for the next few months. I would like to maintain a regular update schedule, but one can't get around Real Life, sadly.

I'm using the eFiction New Story Announcements RSS Feed to let me know when new stories/chapters have been released. That at least lets me know when corvus and the other authors I follow have released something new. I also found a new author I've just started to read.

I do deserve a medal! I'll go make one for myself. Oh well, feel honored. You're the only writer I've stalked, ever. And I'm super duper lazy, so in order for me to actually follow your work and leave reviews and participate in the forums, well that's saying something about your writing.



Yay for a new chapter! WOOHOO!

Your finals end pretty late. I've had two finals already and my last day is the 13th. Btw, you are so lucky to be going to Germany for a few months. Wow. I've always loved Germans. And a research internship...so smart. Another reason to stalk the awesome Corvus.



I usually follow the feed list as well, but doesn't that only work if the author posts the announcement in the efiction section announcement section? Sometimes when I check efiction, I find stories that aren't listed. However, Corvus is really good at the notices, so there is never a problem.

What new author have you started reading?

There are a lot of good writers on eFic, but with summer approaching, I have a feeling people will be getting a lot busier.

I suspect corvus has the good looks to match his awesome brain-power. I wish he'd post a photo of himself. Or at least send us one so we know who we're stalking!


While looking for something else this morning I stumbled upon WrathOfMagneto's story, Resident Evil: EPIDEMIC. I didn't think I'd like it, but I started to read the first chapter and next thing I knew it was a couple of hours later and I had finished the story. I've also started reading Libby Drew's stories since I'm going to be working with her as a beta/editor team for an author who is a fairly new member but writes very well: dravenn. He's the new author I mentioned. Great stuff so far. Somewhere along the line I need to find time to read more of ShadowGod's stories. Especially LiS.

A photo would be nice. Perhaps one day. But he lives in Massachusetts. (Did I spell that right? LOL). So we're all on the East Coast. Maybe one day we will find him. You two, come to NYC!



I've read WrathOfMagneto's story. It was very gory, but I initially started reading it because I watched the Resident Evil movies and I was in the mood for some zombie action.

Libby Drew is another of my favorites. I loved her short pieces as well as Paying the Piper. And she she's been working on something new and I cannot wait for her to post that! I've also read Dravenn's stuff. However, I have a feeling the updates won't be very regular, but that's ok. I'll come back to it. Lastly, ShadowGod's short stories were amazing. I forgot the titles, and I hope I'm referring to the correct author, but they were so good. One of those sucker punch types.

I'll come to NYC anytime you want me to. I'll be up there in a little less than a month in fact on my way to Maine. I can spend a day in the city and let you show me around. Not that I'm unfamiliar with the place. But I'd love to see it from a native's POV. Dravenn's updates should start to become more regular because he sort of got stuck, then asked for a beta-reader, so Libby and I will be working with him. It's got the makings of a fine story. It'll be weird getting used to UK English. It's quite different than just adjusting to each author's own unique style. I've already found a good dictionary and slang dictionary to help me. Yes, I do take my work seriously. You saw all the citations I provided to support my suggested changes, right? My favorite SG story so far is, sadly incomplete. It's called, A Shot of Bourbon. Vegas Sun, a short story is what you should read next. And then Living in Surreality aka LiS. That's the order Steve suggested I read his stories in.

Hey corvus, we'd be discussing your stuff if you'd hurry up and release another chapter of DtS.

Unfortunately, I'll be in summer school when you're in the city. I actually go to a NJ university. It's a whole long story about how that happened, but I won't be returning back to the city officially until August. Oh well. You're not too far. Whenever you're in the area some other time and the timing works, hit me up.

You do take your work very seriously! Good job. I was impressed with the reference you provided to support your case. I've read books by an English author, Jane Green, and sometimes the phrases get me a bit confused, so a slang dictionary is a good idea. Anyway, Dravenn story really attracted me because of character of Terry. He's so dark and moody and a huge asshole, but I sense so much more to him and I'm eager to get to know him better.

I've read Vegas Sun. That was the story I loved most. Who wrote Almost Home? Was that ShadowGod or someone else? It was a beautiful piece and I feel terrible for not remembering who wrote it. There are just too many stories here on GA!

LOL! Yes, we have gotten off topic. Shame, shame. Well, he did say he'd update soon, so we'll have fresh material to talk about soon enough.

Almost Home is a ShadowGod story. You're right about there being too many stories here on GA. It seems like I'm constantly finding new stories and authors while searching for something else. I should probably volunteer for the WST.

More fodder for you guys, my beloved alligators. Chapter 4 is up.

Just read chapter 4-been waiting for the update- and it just gets better and better. I'm enjoying the budding relationship between Nick and Alec, and it's great that they are finally getting it together. You did a great job in keeping the suspense going between those two, and the surprise for me was that Alec made the first move. He seemed so shy before, I didn't think he'd have the nerve. I still think this Wigglesworth has a crush on Nick, maybe even a potential stalker with him turning up at the pizza place, and I'm looking forward to seeing how that pans out too.

Great tone and style, very natural. Love all the characters and particularly the ease of conversation between them. What I mean is when I'm writing I always have trouble mixing action with dialogue, I never know what to have my characters do while they're chatting, but you manage this effortlessly. This story is a pleasure to read. Lots more to come soon, I hope.