Tough Question is a very compelling story. It takes us through the coming of age of an English lad named Ian who has one lingering problem during those years. There is a certain question he finds too difficult to answer. "Do you love me?" He is so afraid of being hurt or hurting someone else, he can't bring himself to make such a commitment. It is a very tender story where his relationships with others over a period of years eventually help him resolve his dilemma. And the resolution may not be quite what you expect.

I have read all of Kit's stories and enjoyed every one of them. I recommend all of them to you, especially Tough Question.

Please share your thoughts in this forum.

Thanks, Mike, for those kind words.

All comments are gratefully received and will always get a reponse from me, so I hope lots of others will read my stories and comment here.

Kit

Hi Kit .
I found "tapping" a few months ago on another site, I don't remember where. I like your stories and I'm happy to find them on GA. English is not my mother tongue but I appreciate very much your "European" style. It's easier for me to read, sometimes I have some difficulties with US authors, because some of the words they use are not in my "pocket" dictionary. Now I'm going to read or reread your stories. I will comment later.
Old bob

Hey Kit

Tough Questions is a story I just finished reading last night.

Ian goes through what a lot of us go through. I have to admit I wish that somehow Ian and Frank would work something out, but in the end it seems that they are at least starting a friendship, and that in my book is good enough for me. I really enjoy your writing style, and passion. All and all a very good read, thank you very much Kit <3

-Mike

Hi Mike,

Thanks for the comments.

With TQ I made an extra effort to take realistic characters and put them into realistic situations. All the main characters have flaws so there are no real heroes and only one or two villains.

In the story, as in real life, people don't always make the right choices or the best decisions, especially when put into difficult situations. So things don't always turn out ideally or as we might prefer. On the other hand, I attempted to indicate in TQ that there is always hope that things can get better and that people can at least try to improve.

Anyway, the main thing is that you enjoyed reading it!


Kit

You know, you make a lot of good points, that to be honest i didn't even notice, Even more bravo to you sir =D

Now someone go start a thread for tapping, god did i love it lol.

Well you could always be the one start the thread!


BTW - did you notice that on my GA hosted author webiste there is a drawing of the Prospect House, house in Tapping? Also if you look carefully you will find an image of the ground-floor plan of the house.

Kit

I really liked this story. I read Tapping which creeped me out, but in a good way. I guess that shows how well you write. Plus, it was a nice change of scenery compared to most gay fiction.

Anyway, Tough Question, I was very frustrated with Ian. Although I can also see Ian's POV and reasoning behind his overanalytical thought process. I was also mad at him because he seemed to be hurting Frank and Matt and almost seemed surprised he had been doing so. Meanwhile, he was hurt by Derrick in the same exact way! ARGH!!!!

It was nice to see that even though Ian still had love/commitment issues, he and Matt appear to be heading towards a promising future. He lives with Matt, considers their place home, he finally came out to his parents, and actually touched Matt in public. I guess he has grown a lot, but it wasn't easy. I was glad that Ian visitd Frank in the hospital, but why did he have to be so stubborn about it. His Mom and Matt had to convince him; what's up with that, man?!? Too much pride.

I think Frank and Ian will be friends again and that makes me happy. : ) Frank is still angry and hurt, but in time he will forgive Ian. He has his pride too and is trying to make it diffcult, but the whole 'bring grapes with you if you come tomorrow' brought a smile to my face.

Great story, although I had the urge to punch Ian every other chapter.

I look forward to reading the rest of your stories. There is one particularly long series and I don't have the eye power for it. I will do it ASAP, before summer session starts.

Hi Tiff,

Thanks very much for the thoughtful comments.




Yes, most stories have the protagonist as a nice guy who is easy to like. This is usually a 'good thing' because a reader probably won't continue reading a story if they don't care what happens to the main character. So I challenged myself to create a not-so-likeable, flawed character but also try to get readers to care what happened to him. Of course, only the readers can say if the attempt succeeded!




ALERT!!! POSSIBLE SPOILERS FOR THOSE WHO HAVE NOT YET READ THE STORY!!!!

Ian was a little surprised that Frank took things so badly because he'd always been honest and told Frank that he didn't return his feelings. Ian was young and naive and in a difficult situation. i.e. he had to deal with the fact that someone was in love with him but he didn't feel the same way.

Frank also had flaws and was partly responsible for his own hurt. He makes all the first moves and when Ian says he doesn't return his feelings he still wants to continue their sex-friends relationship. He chose to go off on a rugby tour rather than a camping trip with Ian, probably deep down realising that his relationship with Ian has no long-term future. Then, rather childishly, Frank is the one who cuts off contact with Ian. Admittedly, Ian doesn't try too hard to stay in touch... and yes, as you say, that is a matter of pride. Both Ian and Frank had too much pride to make the first move.

As for Matt, well right from the start he DID agree with Ian that their relationship was to be that of no-strings sex-buddies, so from Ian's point of view Matt had broken the promise. Of course, both of them were naive in thinking that they could promise not to become emotionally involved.



ALERT!!! POSSIBLE SPOILERS FOR THOSE WHO HAVE NOT YET READ THE STORY!!!!

Personally, I don't think people can change their basic character quickly or easily - maybe they can't change it at all. However, I believe people can change their behaviour toward others. So there is hope for Ian and Matt. For Ian it was very brave to make the public gesture to make Matt feel more secure. In many ways such a gesture is much more meaningful than just saying the words 'I love you'.



I think you are referring to Not Always Easy?
That was the first ever piece of fiction that I wrote. Even though it was later revised it is still clearly the work of a novice. Still, it is very plot-driven and proved to be popular with readers. Also, those who read NAE and compare it to later stories can get an idea of the way my writing has developed, so I'd be very interested in your views after you've read it.

Thanks again for your comments!


Kit

Hi Kit,

I'm sure by now you figured out I've been reading TQ. In fact I just finished it.

I think we need to keep in mind that in some ways Ian had matured since his break-up with Frank. That made it easier to forgive Matt for breaking the no-strings agreement. It was clear that Ian felt something much stronger for Matt than he did for Frank. I think as a result he was more open to at least cutting the strings while still not being able to declare his love for Matt. From my point of view they are both in love with each other. Hopefully one day Ian will be able to embrace that for what it is. I think he made some headway in that aspect with his PDA in the hospital parking lot. I saw it as his own quiet, Ian-ish way of letting Matt know he was in love with him while still not being able to actually say the words. It seemed to be good enough for Matt and isn't that what really counts.

It was also nice to see the beginning of mended fences between Frank and Ian.

I'd love to come back to this story in another 5-10 years and see how everyone has evolved.

Tapping was the first story of yours I read. You know how I felt about that one. I love the wide range of subject matter you're able to write about. In many ways your stories are amongst the few that don't follow the typical patterns which so often emerge in GA stories. That puts you in the same league with CJ, Duncan and Jack. Good company to be in indeed. Thanks for writing TQ.

Would the most logical progression be to start with your earliest story and work my way forward to the most recent, TQ?

Hi Gary,

Thanks for the very kind compliments.




Yes, you describe the situation exactly.
One of the key elements of the story is Ian's progress from teenager to young man. He is slowly maturing but by the end of the story he still has a long way to go. Matt's very different personality acted as a catalyst for the process of maturation.



For Ian, and for Matt who has grown to understand what a PDA means to Ian, the PDA is worth more than words. Ian, in his earlier rambling speech to Matt had tried to describe his feelings without actually saying 'I love you'. Matt isn't stupid, so he must know that what Ian describes fits at least one definition of love. So the PDA is confirmation of what Matt already knows.

For many people it is easy to say 'I love you' and (cynic that I am) I think that it is easier for people to say those words if they don't really mean it. It isn't that Ian can't say the words but that he has learned not to trust those words. He knows that the words themselves are meaningless, or at least that the meaning is different for different people.



As you've already read Tapping and TQ, I'm not sure what you mean here?
All the stories are different and unconnected so it doesn't really matter what order you read them - unless, of course, you want to see how my writing skills and choice of topics have evolved over the years.

For example, NAE (my first story) was written, or at least most of it was written, when I was young, naive, and in love. So it not only reflects my inexperienced writing skills but also my rather simple-minded romanticism at the time. Don't get me wrong - as a story I don't think that it's bad, in fact I think it's a good read because it's very plot-driven, but it's not something I would write now.

Tapping, my second novel-length story, is intermediate in that the plot drives things along but I was also starting to explore the main character's psychology more.

TQ is an exploration of Ian's psychological development as well as asking questions about the nature of love and hope.

The short stories (have you seen my shorts?!?! ) were all written about the same time, within a few months of finishing Tapping. Apart from the obvious subject matter of the stories, I wrote them also as an exercise in self-discipline, i.e. could I tell a story concisely in a short-story format. I like to experiment!
(BTW, my next story, another short, is pretty experimental in a couple of ways, one of which being that it is my first third-person story)

So I guess that if anyone did want to see how my writting developed over the years they would read the stories in the following order:
NAE
Tapping
Just Visiting
Timing
Road Not Taken
TQ

Hope that I've not rambled on too much and given you more info than you really wanted!

Thanks again for your lovely comments.

Kit

You could never ramble on Kit because I love reading your words. I will start to read your stories in chronological order. That really does make the most sense now that I think about it. You'll be hearing from me again.

Hey Kit,

I just wanted to add my voice to those that enjoyed Tough Question.

I found it refreshing to read a story with an ending that was hopeful rather than happy.  Im a sucker for a flawed character and with Ian you created someone who I wanted to slap and then hug, not sure if this was the sort of reaction you were going for .

Anyway I must try reading some of your other stories

Hi!

Thanks for the lovely comments!

Ian is intended to be a realistic person, and I often find with real people that sometimes I want to slap them and sometimes I want to hug them!

Anyway, if/when you read my other stories, I hope you will comment on them.

Thanks again!

Kit

When two people get together it is very rarely that they like each other equally. One is always the greater 'liker' [or 'lover'] and the other has the whip hand. (Ouch! but that is what it is.)

TQ made me cringe because of the numerous places where I recognised I had been and had made the same sort of mistakes. At 19 most people aren't ready for a 32-year-old to throw themselves at you declaring undying love. Well I wasn't.

I was such a late developer than when my emotions and sexual desires were aroused I was pretty much out of control. I groped the guy who first joined me in bed all the way back to camp on a green line bus and scandalised the other passengers - some of whom clearly knew what was going on. I didn't care! (And in those days all homosexual acts were illegal.)

So I know what it is like to be out of control and what it is like to have to deal with declarations of love from people you don't really care a lot about. In my case it was worse because I was in denial and didn't want to be homosexual.

And, my goodness, I knew what it was like to be desperate for someone to go to bed with.

This story is quite brilliant in the way it makes Ian's reluctance to commit realistic and understandable. When he behaves like a shit one feels sorry for him at the same time as *very* sorry for his partner of the time. I have always found it really hard to say "I love you" to anyone, even if I thought I did because of the number of times it had been said to me and caused me embarrassment.

Actually I suspect that, for the sake of the story, Ian is portrayed as a bit more of a shit than he really was (Kit, do you hear?) and the partners that he behaved imperfectly toward were a bit too nice and good. Frank and Debbie and Matt have very few faults. [I'd love to know Matt!]

I do have a great friend who has a similar weakness. He says he is *unable* to commit himself to anyone. That seems to me very sad as, for me, committed love is the relationship I live for (at least I think I do). He seems to get by with half the gay population of Hastings!

And the question the story answers is "How did you manage to get into this mess - this emotional quagmire?" And it answers it brilliantly with not a hint of false feeling or unrealism.

Now is not the place to offer my way of overcoming these difficulties, but never fear! I do have a way.

Everyone that is in or wants to be in a relationship needs to know the dangers and how they arise and I heartily commend TQ to you as one way of getting a feel for one aspect of the problem.

Oh! And by the way it is an engrossing story that I was unable to stop reading.

Love,
Anthony