Okay, I guess I should explain what I meant when I said that I thought Aaron was wrong.

See, I think Aaron believes that he is "in love with Ben" and merely "loves Mick". I think he has all the rationalization and all the logic worked out in his mind, exactly as you wrote it. And, given what you have told us about him, I totally get why he believes that. It's very easy to confuse lust and love, especially the first few times around.

Yes, that's exactly what I think is going on here. Aaron is in lust with Ben. Not in love with him. Hell, he hardly even knows him. There's obviously a physical attraction. There's obviously a "rush", a sense of "adventure" as Aaron puts it. There's not a small amount of confusion due to simple horomones, too. After all, Aaron and Ben have done some heavy-duty making out (love that "shortstop" metaphor) but Aaron and Mick haven't crossed any lines, so that's probably clouding Aaron's judgment, too. Besides, I think Aaron has been flattered all along by Ben's attention, in a "what could a guy like that see in a guy like me?" kind of way. Not that Ben is better than Aaron, just that Aaron's insecurities may be leading him to believe that.

But love... Aaron is confusing the butterflies with the real thing. What he has with Mick - the comfort, the security, the trust... the physical attraction, yes, but mostly the sense that Mick is "home"... that's love. I just don't think Aaron has the capacity to understand that just yet, even despite all the psych courses he's taken. He hasn't experienced enough yet to know it.

“Okay, well I guess with Ben there’s this excitement. He’s completely unpredictable. I can’t stop thinking about him – well except for most of the day today that is – and there’s like this total attraction and lust. I mean he’s amazingly hot. It’s also kinda cool being…well being with a guy like him. Also, I already kinda sorta have him so that’s a plus. I mean I’m finally convinced he’s interested and I don’t have to go chasing him down anymore. Not only that, but it goes without saying that he’s already completely out and comfortable being with a guy…probably more comfortable with it than me...” I trail off lost in thought.

“And with Mick?” Ronnie prods after giving me a few seconds.

My answer comes surprisingly quickly, but I briefly ponder its significance nevertheless before I finally respond.

“…total trust”

I have no business with a guy like Ben. None. I don’t think I’ll feel like I belong with him. I don’t think I’ll ever feel like I measure up. I’m not as attractive. I’m not as confident. I’m not as rich. I’m not as socially gifted. I’m not as sexually experienced. I’ve also never done his party drugs, and I don’t end up drunk or high at the end of every evening out. All in all I feel woefully inadequate and ill-suited to him.

To quote a groovy song from Baz Lurhmann, "Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth."

P.s. You are kind of evil since "Worth a Shot" gives no indication which way you will take it...

I actually adore you!

LOL

no seriously though, awesome story man!

I completely agree. The reason being the exchange between Ronnie and Aaron about whether or not Mick loves Aaron.



...Total trust. Couple that with Mick being Aaron's 'home', well, there really is no doubt who Aaron is in love with. Not just love. I believe Aaron is in love with Mick. But like Mick, hasn't realized it yet. He's infatuated with Ben. He's in lust with Ben. He is most definitely not in love with Ben.

And correct me if I'm wrong, but can you love someone you're uncomfortable with?



I don't think love between two people consists of one person feel completely inadequate compared to their partner.


Anyways, this is probably all wishful thinking on my part. I really, really, really want Aaron and Mick to get together in the end, so I'm doing everything I can to argue for it

Excellent story, by the way. For a long time, I had confined my readings to those of the hosted authors, but now I realize that there are really quite a few gems in E-fiction. This story being one of them.

Eagerly awaiting the sequel

The entire time I was reading this story, I had T-Pain's 'Buy Me A Drink' stuck in my head. Anyone else had the same problem?