I have to open this thread for one of the best writers at GA.

An original story, well constructed and written.

at The Seduction of Nostalgia

Damn Menzo…just… damn. This was brilliantly done. I’ve always been a big fan of your work, but I think this is your best to date.

I don’t want to give anything away to anyone who’s not read it yet, but the, shall we say, sequencing was unexpected and worked beautifully.

Kudos to rec also, as I read this twice and nothing (nada, zip, zilch) popped out at me. And, as rec well knows, I can usually find something.

this is more than worth a look. i don't understand why it's not getting reviews.

do GA members fear new things?

Just read it Menzo, really good, I've read just about everything you've wrote and this story of Cole and Luc is one of my favorites, such an original story as well.

I'm definitely a fan of your work. My favorite is your spring anthology. I even printed out a hard copy because it's so good, it has to be read more than once, even if it's really sad.

Anyway, this story was really good. The main character was a real piece of work and he truly frustrated me at times. However, so did Luc because he was so unwilling to give up and let go. I guess the both of them were meant for one another in some odd way. The beginning was engaging. It drew me in and I wanted to figure out the puzzle, so to speak. The ending was memorable. Ok, the whole thing was!

The only thing I had a problem with was that I got confused at times between all the flashbacks and stuff. Maybe it was just me because I was reading it rather late in the morning.

Nonetheless, great job.

.........A very well written darkish unforgiving story Menzo, Cole was a likable bastard and he gave no pretenses for what he was. Poor Luc, he should have never met Cole.

Thanks everyone!

I'm glad that Cole came across as a 'likable bastard' because that's what I was aiming for. I was worried, though, that there weren't enough redeeming qualities to make him viable as the protagonist.

Menzo

I haven't read many by you yet Menzo, I quite enjoyed it. Like Benji said I wish they ever meet. hate the feeling of being used.

I had to reread it, I missed it some very good points. He redeemed himself at the end. meting lucs son, still to me seemed like a cocky bastard.

OMG! I\'m a fan of Menzo\'s Writings (especially the stories) but i agree with Sharon. I think that this is his best. The feelings it evoked in me were so...pleasant to my masochist alter ego. He salutes you, Menzo! The characters too were incredibly real. Especially Luc. The one who is so stupid in love. And is \"happy\" in life afterwards...

When Cole threw the condom in the grave, I suspected that there was a matter of HIV here. Am I the only one?

Take care,
Ieshwar

When I read something for the first time, I always miss a ton of facts. I'm just a bad reader. So I make sure to read everything twice.

The first time around I was so engrossed in Cole's character and everyone's reaction to him. I kept wondering why everyone was giving him the cold shoulder. I knew something had happened, but I didn't know what exactly. It could have been a bunch of things. Even when he dropped the condom in the grave, I was a bit shocked, and then my attention was drawn to the other's reactions. Now that you mention it and after having read it entirely, yes, the HIV thing makes sense. A duh moment for me.

Anyway, how should that have been interpreted. Was Cole being an ass by throwing the condom in there or was there some deeper meaning? Perhaps his form of an apology? That he learned his lesson and wears condoms from now on? So many questions in this story. Cole is someone that can never be figured out and it's frustrating.

Cole isn\'t that generous. I think he was just \"relieving\" himself of the condom he \"owed\" Luc. Perhaps, coz it was too heavy to bear. And yeah, i also think that perhaps, he could only give it after the death. If he gave it to Luc alive, it would have meant an apology, or sort of. And like he said, Luc would have left everything. Pehaps, he is a bit generous...

You\'re right, Tiff. Cole can\'t be understood. LOL

Take care,
Ieshwar

LOL, out of curiosity why didn't YOU review it, Billy?


I don't think it would have mattered what we thought of Cole


That interpretation would be similar to my own.




I really enjoyed this story particularly after (before?) part 4. The death scene and funeral scene were very good as well, and took on more meaning after reading the rest, but I definitely enjoyed the last (first?) three parts the most - which was fortunate since they constituted the majority of the story!

Anyway it was very good and I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Cole is a character with whom I personally would have avoided becoming entangled (I hope), despite having the 'must fix the broken boy' syndrome myself. I also think that plain and simple, regardless of any emotion or loyalty, he was disappointingly foolish to have unprotected sex with that casual hook-up.

Luc on the other hand, while far more 'likable' in an obvious sort of way was...well a bit pathetic. The obvious criticism is that he couldn't let go of his past and move on. While I personally dislike when people are unable to forgive that's something I can generally look past. The fact that he too was having unprotected sex with Cole was also a bit naive in my opinion. OK, they were in a serious, long-term relationship, but they were both very clear about knowing what sort of person Cole was. However, while I think it was a mistake for Luc to trust Cole in that way that too I can see as a tragic, but understandable mistake. So those two sins I can forgive.

A more serious, though also more understandable, 'failing' was when he struck Cole. Yes, it was explained that he had a fiery temper, and use it's very understandable that he was feeling so hurt and angry, but that sort of 'taints' his 'noble love' for Cole in my opinion. The implicit understanding of their relationship, such that I understood it from my reading, was that Cole was untrustworthy and unrepentant whereas Luc had assigned himself the hopeful martyr role. So while Cole's actions were certainly a lot more reprehensible than Luc's at least he was 'playing by the rules', Luc's striking of Cole was a violation of their dynamic (as I see it).

However, while Luc's first two failings are easy for me to forgive, and while the third is easy for me to understand, it's the fourth and fifth failings are more extreme. He allowed - no demanded that - Cole move back in with him after everything that happened. Then he proceeded to resume his sexual relationship with him. Basically, he had absolutely no self-respect or dignity. Sure it was 'nice' that he helped Cole out after everything, but in my mind he'd already relinquished his position as saviour and martyr by striking Cole then kicking him out. Taking him back, still unrepentant without forgiving him, was just putting himself through torture and was definitely pathetic as far as I'm concerned.

Luc's greatest sin however, the one least forgivable, most contemptible, and still horribly pathetic was fooling around with Cole years later after he'd already entered his relationship with Paul and adopted Eric. That was just terrible on so many levels. Adultery is always pretty disgusting, but when you're doing it to the man who has given you love and acceptance despite your own HIV status, and with whom you have child...well that's despicable. Some would argue that the fact that it was Cole, and that he was still in love with Cole, excuse his actions to some extent. I feel exactly the opposite! They make it more disgusting, vile, and pathetic than if it had been someone random, or someone else with whom he had an emotional connection. It shows that after all those years he STILL has no self-respect. He's STILL willing to put himself through hell for someone he can't forgive who isn't sorry. Worse, he completely marginalized his life with Paul and Eric by indicating that he would still prefer his self made misery with Cole.

In conclusion, Cole only had significant failing in terms of the person he was; he wasn't pragmatic or sensible enough to use a condom, and this also demonstrates the failing in his supposed 'self love'. However, on that score I would argue that Cole doesn't really love himself - by conventional standards/Luc's standards/my standards - in the first place otherwise he would avoided many of his self-destructive tenancies. By his own standards he was probably mostly okay though. Luc on the other hand could never live up to his own standards for himself. He never learned his lesson, and ultimately he showed his love, for himself, for Cole, for Paul and Eric, to be inadequate.

So yeah, that's what I think

First and foremost though, I think you, Menzo, did a wonderful job with this story and you should be very proud of your literary skill and evocative prowess.

Well done

-Kevin

..........Cole never cared what people thought of him, the condom was his apology to Luc. Apparently not all thought ill of him, remember Lucs son approached Cole and he was curious as to why Cole bothered to show up but did not condemn him.

i considered posting here a review, especially since this is actually (i believe) the first time i've responded to any story.

..............Well said (I think!)

Well good for you then

I misconstrued the statement as a remark about how few 'reviews' the story was receiving in eFiction. This is probably because when I finished reading it I was surprised that there were none. So that was most present in my mind and when I read your remark I couldn't help but think "well why didn't you leave one then?" I hadn't considered it all from a simple feedback/posts in discussion thread point of view.

My apologies.


On another note, what did everyone think of my evaluation of Luc? Undoubtedly Cole would appear to be more of the 'bad guy' in the story, so I'm interested in finding out if anyone else took my perspective on Luc.



Take care all,
Kevin

Kevin has come, I believe, the closest to interpreting the story the way I do, although I have a more favorable view of Luc. People are layered, and they all have their flaws, virtues and contradictions, and one of my aims here was to show the often illogical manner in which people conduct themselves.

The condom from Cole was just his symbolic way of acknowledging what he had done without being overly emotional about it.

I think Kevin missed the mark, though, on the adultery scene. It wasn't 'fooling around,' it was the intoxicating head-rush of seeing someone so incredibly a part of him that he simply couldn't say no to. I saw Luc and Cole as so inextricably tied to one another that there was no other viable option other than for their one-time passion to flair up again.

Menzo

I just read the story tonight. I actually did not consider Cole a bad guy. He made a mistake, one that cost him and Luc dearly. Just because someone contracts HIV does not mean that he or she is a "whore". It only takes one encounter to contract the disease. Now, I must admit that I was taken aback by the reversed order of the story, but as I kept reading, I understood why it was done that way. Slowly, you wanted to reveal the reason for the deaths and the resentment. I, too, left a review in E-fiction.