Dog Food by jfalkon
Andy's job seemed simple enough, but what do you do when things aren't what they seem?
Andy's job seemed simple enough, but what do you do when things aren't what they seem?
Spoilers Below!!! Full Version: Dog Food by jfalkon
Spoilers Below!!!
This one has to be one of my favourites in this anthology. I loved the way I was drawn in by the narration, carefully but imperceptibly led along a path, only to find an ending that showed how far I had been led astray.
I was ready to tell Andy to get out of there. He should've left well before Dean returned. But I suppose it must have been difficult for Andy to really believe what he was reading. He stayed until he was trapped, with his imagination working overtime, thinking about his situation and what could he do to get out of it.
Well done!
I was ready to tell Andy to get out of there. He should've left well before Dean returned. But I suppose it must have been difficult for Andy to really believe what he was reading. He stayed until he was trapped, with his imagination working overtime, thinking about his situation and what could he do to get out of it.
Well done!
I love everything about this anthology. This is by far my favorite one. While Escape is a heavy theme and several of us have written some depressing stuff, yours is intriguing, like a horror movie with that music winding you up for a big scare. In truth, nothing much was going on in the story, in terms of the actions, but the diary readings provided enough, at least for the main character's imagination as well as the reader's. I felt as if I was in ther with Andy, reading the entries and I was getting increasingly creeped out, desperate to keep on reading and finding out more. on the other hand I found it hard to believe that someone Andy had gotten a good vibe from was a violent murderer! And a cannibal!
And the timing; Dean just happened to come home as Andy got to the end! Classic. He should have just run away, but I guess he was too paralyzed by fear, perhaps some disbelief and was frozen. I love the bathroom scene when he cried and then finally composed himself, with determination to live. It was a brief scene, but very powerful. He was facing a large man, a violent killer, but he was determined to live. Then he managed to fake a calm facade during dinner...only to find out the truth and that he had gotten carried away.
This was a great tale of misdirection. I was anticipating the ending. I was wondering if it would really be gross and disgusting, or if there would be some explanation, which there was. I loved the little details that got the reader thinking what you wanted them to think, like, what kind of meat was in that tasty lasagna he had eaten before.
Lastly, the title was an eye catcher. Dog Food. I had the image of dog food in a bowl, not a butchered dude in the shower, being eaten/made into meals for the little dog and Dean.
Loved this, loved it!
And the timing; Dean just happened to come home as Andy got to the end! Classic. He should have just run away, but I guess he was too paralyzed by fear, perhaps some disbelief and was frozen. I love the bathroom scene when he cried and then finally composed himself, with determination to live. It was a brief scene, but very powerful. He was facing a large man, a violent killer, but he was determined to live. Then he managed to fake a calm facade during dinner...only to find out the truth and that he had gotten carried away.
This was a great tale of misdirection. I was anticipating the ending. I was wondering if it would really be gross and disgusting, or if there would be some explanation, which there was. I loved the little details that got the reader thinking what you wanted them to think, like, what kind of meat was in that tasty lasagna he had eaten before.
Lastly, the title was an eye catcher. Dog Food. I had the image of dog food in a bowl, not a butchered dude in the shower, being eaten/made into meals for the little dog and Dean.
Loved this, loved it!
QUOTE (Tiff @ June 13 2008, 09:08 AM) 
I love everything about this anthology. This is by far my favorite one. While Escape is a heavy theme and several of us have written some depressing stuff, yours is intriguing, like a horror movie with that music winding you up for a big scare. In truth, nothing much was going on in the story, in terms of the actions, but the diary readings provided enough, at least for the main character's imagination as well as the reader's. I felt as if I was in ther with Andy, reading the entries and I was getting increasingly creeped out, desperate to keep on reading and finding out more. on the other hand I found it hard to believe that someone Andy had gotten a good vibe from was a violent murderer! And a cannibal!
And the timing; Dean just happened to come home as Andy got to the end! Classic. He should have just run away, but I guess he was too paralyzed by fear, perhaps some disbelief and was frozen. I love the bathroom scene when he cried and then finally composed himself, with determination to live. It was a brief scene, but very powerful. He was facing a large man, a violent killer, but he was determined to live. Then he managed to fake a calm facade during dinner...only to find out the truth and that he had gotten carried away.
This was a great tale of misdirection. I was anticipating the ending. I was wondering if it would really be gross and disgusting, or if there would be some explanation, which there was. I loved the little details that got the reader thinking what you wanted them to think, like, what kind of meat was in that tasty lasagna he had eaten before.
Lastly, the title was an eye catcher. Dog Food. I had the image of dog food in a bowl, not a butchered dude in the shower, being eaten/made into meals for the little dog and Dean.
Loved this, loved it!
And the timing; Dean just happened to come home as Andy got to the end! Classic. He should have just run away, but I guess he was too paralyzed by fear, perhaps some disbelief and was frozen. I love the bathroom scene when he cried and then finally composed himself, with determination to live. It was a brief scene, but very powerful. He was facing a large man, a violent killer, but he was determined to live. Then he managed to fake a calm facade during dinner...only to find out the truth and that he had gotten carried away.
This was a great tale of misdirection. I was anticipating the ending. I was wondering if it would really be gross and disgusting, or if there would be some explanation, which there was. I loved the little details that got the reader thinking what you wanted them to think, like, what kind of meat was in that tasty lasagna he had eaten before.
Lastly, the title was an eye catcher. Dog Food. I had the image of dog food in a bowl, not a butchered dude in the shower, being eaten/made into meals for the little dog and Dean.
Loved this, loved it!
Lol, I keep agreeing with Tiff here
Geez, jfalkon, you did a great job on this story! I really was captivated by it!
So, keep up the good work!
Besides, help me to remind myself to read more of your stories!!!
Cheers
Niels
This was brilliant!!
Subtle forshadowing, that made the reader begin to think that not all was as it seemed.
The ending was a classic. I thought it was odd that a killer would leave his journal about, but that ending fit perfectly! You really took the reader on a roller-coaster ride. From terror to relief and laughter in an instant, Bravo!
Subtle forshadowing, that made the reader begin to think that not all was as it seemed.
The ending was a classic. I thought it was odd that a killer would leave his journal about, but that ending fit perfectly! You really took the reader on a roller-coaster ride. From terror to relief and laughter in an instant, Bravo!
How can I possibly top what CJ wrote? I won't even try. I'll just say I agree with all of CJ's comments. Same thing with Tiff's comments. I can't tell you this was my favorite because my own authors would kill me! But apart from their stories this was certainly my favorite. The only slightly disappointing thing was the obvious lack of an editor. But that didn't ruin the overall story. Great job. 
Oh my gosh, this was awesome!!
I really loved it! It was amazing how you subtly led the reader down the path to realizing something horrible was going on all the way back to thinking everything was okay.
Is everything really okay or did Dean sense that Andy was suspicious, work out the likely cause, and come up with a reason to explain it away? Could he be hoping to surprise Andy by killing him as Andy reads the end? I'm probably being morbid, but the diary was so realistic and so much of his 'real world' was present that it's a little iffy in my opinion.
Regardless this was a wonderful story and I love all the subtle foreshadowing and brilliant details you add!
Awesome job!
-Kevin
I really loved it! It was amazing how you subtly led the reader down the path to realizing something horrible was going on all the way back to thinking everything was okay.
Is everything really okay or did Dean sense that Andy was suspicious, work out the likely cause, and come up with a reason to explain it away? Could he be hoping to surprise Andy by killing him as Andy reads the end? I'm probably being morbid, but the diary was so realistic and so much of his 'real world' was present that it's a little iffy in my opinion.
Regardless this was a wonderful story and I love all the subtle foreshadowing and brilliant details you add!
Awesome job!
-Kevin
Not to be the first to comment a story has a big advantage : all others before you have allready told all the pleasure they had to read it and congratulate the author.
I couldn't say anything more and better
.
It's the first of your stories I had the pleasure to read. Now i have to go quickly to eFiction and enjoy the others.
Old bob
I couldn't say anything more and better
.It's the first of your stories I had the pleasure to read. Now i have to go quickly to eFiction and enjoy the others.
Old bob
QUOTE (AFriendlyFace @ June 13 2008, 11:46 PM)
I'm probably being morbid, but the diary was so realistic and so much of his 'real world' was present that it's a little iffy in my opinion.
Perhaps I've misunderstood you Kev. If so I apologize. If not then aren't there a lot of stories that are at least somewhat autobiographical? IMO that doesn't make them iffy. In fact I rather like it when we get a glimpse into the mind and life experiences of the author. To me it lends an air of credibility to the story because we know it's at least partially real.
A very enjoyable, well-written story! Most of what can be said has already been said by other reviewers. Well done!
Most of what can be said has already been said by other reviewers. Well done!
..............I loved this story, reminded me of being so Alfred Hitchcock like. I loved the way you toyed with his imagination and ours, everything bent on perception. The uneasiness he feels about the sterile house, waking up to seeing the dog staring at him thru black eyes. Two things I didn’t quite get, did he fall ill because of nerves or was he drugged? Was the book left where he could stumble upon it or was it a coincidence? May very well be the best written in this series.
Thanks everyone! (and thanks for catching my bad spelling)
I'm glad you all enjoyed it.
..............I loved this story, reminded me of being so Alfred Hitchcock like. I loved the way you toyed with his imagination and ours, everything bent on perception. The uneasiness he feels about the sterile house, waking up to seeing the dog staring at him thru black eyes. Two things I didn't quite get, did he fall ill because of nerves or was he drugged? Was the book left where he could stumble upon it or was it a coincidence? May very well be the best written in this series.
He got ill from his own imagination. The entries in the book were disgusting to him. Some people get week and sick when they see something disgusting. The book was on the dresser because the way I imagined it, Dean was writing in his bedroom and put the book down as he was leaving the room.
I'm glad you all enjoyed it.
QUOTE (Benji @ June 16 2008, 10:53 AM)
..............I loved this story, reminded me of being so Alfred Hitchcock like. I loved the way you toyed with his imagination and ours, everything bent on perception. The uneasiness he feels about the sterile house, waking up to seeing the dog staring at him thru black eyes. Two things I didn't quite get, did he fall ill because of nerves or was he drugged? Was the book left where he could stumble upon it or was it a coincidence? May very well be the best written in this series.He got ill from his own imagination. The entries in the book were disgusting to him. Some people get week and sick when they see something disgusting. The book was on the dresser because the way I imagined it, Dean was writing in his bedroom and put the book down as he was leaving the room.
QUOTE (jfalkon @ June 16 2008, 08:56 PM)
Thanks everyone! (and thanks for catching my bad spelling)
I'm glad you all enjoyed it.
I'm glad you all enjoyed it.
I'm happy you finally got to see the accolades for your story.
Yeah, about time I got off my butt and looked at what people are saying about me.
QUOTE (GaryInMiami @ June 16 2008, 12:40 PM)
Perhaps I've misunderstood you Kev. If so I apologize. If not then aren't there a lot of stories that are at least somewhat autobiographical? IMO that doesn't make them iffy. In fact I rather like it when we get a glimpse into the mind and life experiences of the author. To me it lends an air of credibility to the story because we know it's at least partially real.
When I said "iffy" I only meant "iffy" as in whether it really was a story or rather it was essentially a diary as was originally assumed.
For me in my reading of the story there was some ambiguity there. Was Dean making up an excuse to calm Andy, or was the 'truth' really revealed at the end? I prefer the ambiguity personally so perhaps that why I read it with such.
QUOTE (Benji @ June 16 2008, 12:53 PM)
..............I loved this story, reminded me of being so Alfred Hitchcock like. I loved the way you toyed with his imagination and ours, everything bent on perception. The uneasiness he feels about the sterile house, waking up to seeing the dog staring at him thru black eyes. Two things I didn’t quite get, did he fall ill because of nerves or was he drugged? Was the book left where he could stumble upon it or was it a coincidence? May very well be the best written in this series.A good analysis! I agree it was Alfred Hitchcock like!
QUOTE (AFriendlyFace @ June 18 2008, 03:44 PM)
When I said "iffy" I only meant "iffy" as in whether it really was a story or rather it was essentially a diary as was originally assumed.
For me in my reading of the story there was some ambiguity there. Was Dean making up an excuse to calm Andy, or was the 'truth' really revealed at the end? I prefer the ambiguity personally so perhaps that why I read it with such.
For me in my reading of the story there was some ambiguity there. Was Dean making up an excuse to calm Andy, or was the 'truth' really revealed at the end? I prefer the ambiguity personally so perhaps that why I read it with such.
Ah, I did misunderstand you Kev. Sorry about that. I also like stories that leave the ending open to letting the reader's imagination take over.
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