Hi everyone. This was supposed to be in the anthology (you'll see in goes with the escape theme) but I took a break from it for a while and decided to just post it in eFiction alone.

Anyway, here it is: The Same, Not the Same

I wish you had completed this in time for the anthology Billy. It would have been the best entry by far. Why does that not come as a surprise to me? Because I'm in awe of your intelligence and creativity. That's why.

As I said in the efiction part, This was really unexpected I love that.

At first I thought it was really a guy at first, then yea it is a girl, taking his brother girl falling in love, how tough it will be on her, his gf.

........Damn, that was a great story, you had me hinged on every word.

Where's your review Ben?

.....Well, ok I found her to be very disturbing, obviously she resents her twin Brother enough to gloat to him in a letter for being a thief. She probably did him a favor, but the way she went about it was unremorseful, cowardly and not regretting any pain she inflicted upon him. She believed herself to be the victim who finally won.

That's not what I had in mind Ben and you know it.

Make my friend Billy happy and post a review in eFiction.

Yes, I know I can be annoying.

he did his job. i'm already happy

Wow!!!!!! Billy nice one!! That was just awesome!. I loved it Keep up the good work

Meh, you're no help at all. Go back to doing karate chops or whatever the heck it is you do when you're not reading or writing and leave your marketing to me.

Well that was interesting.

Take what I say with a grain of salt since I've a few drinks in me AND I'm in a rather irritable mood.

As I said it was very interesting. It was well-composed and it lends itself to stimulating discussions of language, twins, 'approximations', and many other things.

However, the one thing I would say it lacks is emotion. I mean I can imagine the emotion in Damian and Ana quite easily. I can even imagine the emotion in Angel; although, I would say that she is the least developed character despite - or perhaps because of - being the narrator. However, I can't feel it. Maybe it is because I'm half-pissed and pissed (I'll leave it to you to determine which is which), but it just didn't move me. I felt like I was reading a detached narration of events (oh wait I was). There may be some very good reasons why the story was told in such a detached way, perhaps Angel had to remain detached to get through the letter. Perhaps she thought it was kinder to be cruel and that Damian would get over things more quickly this way. Perhaps she is filled with resentment from 'forty years of suffering' crammed into her twenty years. Whatever the case, my enjoyment of the story is lessened because I can't understand her in any but a speculative fashion.

Why is she being so cold to her brother? Why is she okay with Ana treating him that way? Why is she willing to let Ana make major decisions for their life together (moving away, having a baby, etc.)? Why did she feel that her parents wouldn't understand? Why doesn't she care about any of these points?

I can easily conjecture and come up with with rational, believable answers, but I just can't know. When I say I can't know I don't simply mean in the concrete, textually literal way; I'm fine with abstract, open-ended stories. Indeed, I generally prefer these types of stories. However, I need to know in my own heart and mind even it still remains an opinion objectively. I simply cannot know, so that is why I say the story is interesting, but not moving.

-Kevin

I think you've hit upon the reason why the story was written this way.



Isn't this an abstract, open-ended story Kev? If so then how come you can't speculate about her actions and arrive at your own conclusions?


I can't read Billy's mind; yet. But I suspect this wasn't meant to be a moving story in a traditional sense of the word. It's a simple recitation of the facts that led up to what eventually happened. I found that moving in an odd, semi-detached sort of way.

Was this an unusual story? Yes, it certainly was. So clearly not everyone is going to understand or appreciate it. I also have to keep in mind that I'm biased in favor of Billy and that might skew my opinion of this story.

Try reading it again and see if you don't come away with a different opinion of it.

Yes, I think so too.



Yes


I can (in fact I clearly did), but I just didn't feel compelled to do it in a way that felt real and personal to me.



Yes, I think you're probably correct on this point as well. I too didn't get the impression that the story was meant to be particularly moving. In that way it's a matter of taste. I like 'interesting', 'creative', and 'unique' stories, but I always want to be shocked, pleasured, hurt, angered, thrilled, amused etc. Simply being 'intrigued', while nice, isn't generally why I read fiction. I like to have an emotional reaction to it. I didn't have anything but a speculative, indirect emotional reaction to this story, and that's what I was trying to address.



On a literary and intellectual basis, I do feel that I understood it. Again it's the emotion that I was talking about. Emotion can indeed be enhanced as a result of better understanding a story, but very often the emotional response is the most visceral and a deeper understanding of symbolism, motives, themes, and techniques is what comes after (again this isn't always the case but often). I doubt I would have a more emotional response with a second reading.

Indeed, I almost always feel less emotionally affected the more times I read something, even if it hit me really really hard the first time. Same with a movie or song, that emotional kick usually decreases because, for me, so much of the impact is made from the new and unexpected.

On a side note, one of my favourite GA authors is Luc, and this is solely because practically everything he writes kicks my ass emotionally (some of his blog entries and forum posts have even accomplished this in the past). I don't know if we're just really on the same wavelength emotionally or what, but whenever I think 'Luc' I think 'emotionally evocative'. I feel almost voyeuristic when I read his work because the emotions he puts into his stories feel so personal.

Anyway, I really respect Billy as an author and that's why I wanted to give him an honest review. Most of the time I give honest reviews but leave out or dull the criticisms. I didn't think I would be doing him any favours by doing that.

Besides, as I said this is only my opinion and my 'complaint' is very subjective. On top of all that there's a good chance I'm just not in a very emotionally receptive mood tonight anyway.

-Kevin

I'm sure Billy can handle the kind of honest, objective feedback you provided. It's certainly better than just saying I hated the story or I loved the story. You've given him some things to think about. That's always good.

I hope the hen dries out and her sunburned feet get better.