I just finished reading Kit's newest story, Perspective.

Here is how Kit summarized his story:


From my point of view Kit's way of telling this story was quite unique. He often went from one section to another with several years in between. Still, he managed to chronicle all the major events in the lives of both brothers who were once close but managed over time to drift apart.

From an early age Adam learned to deal with the hostility between his parents, and their abuse of him by learning how to hate his parents while at the same time loving them because they were his parents. Imagine the confusion that can cause.

Eventually Adam realized that his hatred was eating him alive so he taught himself how not to hate. Little did he realize the high price he'd pay for that decision.

Adam moved out first and was never able to sustain a loving relationship with another man for more than a few months. Whereas after Brian moved out he was in a very stable relationship with Gary.

It wasn't until the death of their last surviving parent, their father, that the two brothers were finally able to put aside their differences and engage in a long chat about what life growing up in a house with hateful parents was like. Adam genuinely had no idea what he put his brother through over the years. Especially after Adam left for university and then to work, leaving Brian alone to deal with his own issues and his ever hostile parents.

I think the title mainly comes from the last chapter when the two brothers finally have a chance to reminisce about their lives. A lot of hurt and anger comes out during this conversation, but the conversation is never hurtful or angry.

One of the most poignant moments comes when Adam finally realizes, and admits to Brian, that maybe he didn't do such a great job of being an older brother.

At the end I think the real perspective Adam gained was that in removing the capacity to hate he also removed the ability to love. And all he was left with was a long distant memory of the first time he realized he loved his little brother instead of hating and resenting him.

One of the reasons I love Kit so much is he writes for a more mature audience than the typical high school romance stuff that's so prevalent on GA. Mind you there is nothing wrong with high school romance. I think we've all been there and done that. Still, as an adult it's nice to read stories that are written from an adult perspective.

Thank you once again Kit for an excellent story.

Thanks very much, Gary, for your comments and positive feedback on my first story since I came to GA.

I'm very happy that you enjoyed the story, especially as it was a little experimental for me (e.g. trying to get 30 years into 3 chapters, my first public story writing third person). However, even if you hadn't liked it I would still have appreciated your comments because then at least I would have known if and where my experiments didn't work.

As was mentioned in a different forum, any sort of comment from a reader is nice because at least an author then knows that people are actually reading the stories they worked so hard to produce. The available stats can show only those who visited the page on the site but that doesn't mean that anyone actually read that page.

Anyway, thanks again for your kind words. They encourage me to get on with my next big project, a novel called 'The Asset' which will also be a little experimental.

Kit

Kit, I didn't realize you had released another story, Perspectives. Did you know there is not a link to it on your GA home page? Anyway, I look forward to reading it and will start now.

Hi Mike,

There is a link to the story from the Library page.
There are now a total of 7 stories in the Library.
If you don't see them all you may need to get your browser to 'refresh' if it has the old Library in its cache.

Hope you enjoy (& comment!)


Kit

........Interesting read but also it was an uncomfortable, dreary and sad story. There seems no hope for Adam ever securing a relationship, and try as much as he'd like the wounds are too deep for the 'brotherly' connection to be anymore than platonic.

'More than platonic'?
Are you suggesting incest???
The fact that Adam won't be 'more than platonic' is nothing to do with his wounds. It's because he's not into incest.

Uncomfortable and sad it definitely is, but life is like that. I try to make my stories true to life, so sometimes the endings are not always 'happy'. I think the stories that start off as tragedies then wave a magic wand or produce a 'deus ex machina' to contrive a happy ending show a lack of integrity.

Perspective describes an unhappy family situation that the brothers survive because they love and care for one another. The fact that they drift apart as adults doesn't alter the fact that they supported one another as children. That formed a bond that will never be broken no matter how strained it might become. For me that (non-incestuous) brotherly love is uplifting if not cheerfully 'happy'.

True, there is no hope of a 'more than platonic' incest, but neither brother would want tha. However, there is obviously a growing mutual understanding and signs that they are becoming closer again. No contrived 'happy' ending but an uplifting hope.

Kit

........BIG OOOPPPSSS!! I should have said "anything more than platonic", meaning that the close relationship they shared while protecting themselves while growing up will never re-achieve itself. Incest never even entered my mind!

That's the primary reason I respect you as an author Kit. Well, that and the fact that you're such a darned good author. Especially when it comes to making the emotions your characters are feeling seem so real.


We all make oopsies Ben. You clarified what you meant and that's all that matters.

Ah! Okay!
Thanks for the clarification.
Thanks also for making your original comment. It gave me a chance to explain.
To me 'more than platonic' implies sex, but I don't know if that is its precise meaning.

Perhaps the brothers will never get back to their childhood closeness, but can anyone ever get back to the way things were in their childhood? Still, at least when I wrote it, the ending seemed hopeful even if it wasn't joyful. At the end they are communicating on a very deep level - talking openly about emotions, which is more than they did even when they were close as children. They understand things about one another that they never understood before, and there is hope that they will be close once again.



Just to explain a little...
I am not criticising happy endings and even very realistic stories can have happy endings. I'm also not criticising 'feel good' romances that are maybe not so realistic. We all like a bit of escapism from the sad things in life. Given good circumstances to begin with, a very happy ending can be achieved realistically.

I like realistic happy endings and it's good to have different types of story - happy, poignant, sad, scary, funny etc. Variety is the spice of life!


When I mentioned 'integrity' I meant that stories (and I'm not thinking of any GA story here) lack integrity when they start off with terrible situations and horrible things happening then suddenly everything is happy at the end. Maybe a rich benefactor comes to rescue the protagonist, or suddenly the main character inherits great wealth or finds a relative they didn't know existed. Sometimes the villain has a complete change of character or a homophobic parent suddenly decides that being gay is great.

If a story starts off as a tragedy it is unrealistic to expect it to end as a comedy.

Kit

Kit, I'm not criticizing happy endings either. In fact it could be reasonably argued that Perspective has the potential for a happy ending. In realizing where Adam went wrong there remains the chance that if he continues to be honest with himself, and devotes himself to rebuilding some semblance of a relationship with Brian, he could eventually regain the capacity to love and be happy.

Let my start offf by saying that I normally don't like "sad ending" stories, but I liked this one.

To me, I saw Brian and Adam as the victims of their parents; coming from that kind of environment does damage, and to me there was a special poignancy to Adam's final realization; even though they are dead and gone, the damage and the hurt remains.

Thank you Kit!
CJ

I liked Perspective very much. Not being a writer, I'm not sure how difficult writing in the third person might be. I can say as a reader that I think Kit pulled it off quite well. The story was well written and involved all the emotions appropriate to the subject matter.

It's difficult for most of us to understand how painful growing up can be for some people. I trust that not many have to live through the kind of constant parental bickering and hateful belittlement that Adam and Brian experienced. Adam's problem with love and hate may stem from the similarity of the two in that they are both such strong emotions. He had developed a comfort zone for himself in a place between love and hate; he began to avoid both emotions in his life.

It is good of course that Adam and Brian finally came to terms with their estrangement from each other and began to talk through their differences. I can only hope that siblings who find themselves in that situation will eventually become fully reconciled and that each one will find complete happiness in his life.

Thank you, Kit, for a well written and touching story. I noted with interest the chapter titles taken from the apostle Paul's treatise on love. I think the third chapter may reflect all of the phrase "but then shall I know even as also I am known".

No wonder I was clueless when Kit asked me what I thought about the chapter titles. Being Jewish I have never read the New Testament. Thanks for pointing that out Mike. Also, I'm glad you enjoyed Kit's story.

Thanks, Mike, for the positive comments.
Also, congratulations on spotting the the chapter titles!
It's a pity I can't offer a prize for your quote-spotting skills.

Yes, you are correct that the final part of the story is reflected in the whole phrase, but I thought that the whole phrase would be a bit long for a chapter title!
I'm not a religious person, but I do think that parts of the Bible count as great literature.

Thanks again for the comments.

Kit

Let him read your next story before you release it! To me that would be a fantastic prize!

Thanks Gary; I heartily agree. What a great prize that would be!

That is the 'payment' for my newly appointed zeta reader (a thing I'd never heard of until a couple of weeks ago). I leave it to him to 'out' himself if he wants to do so.

Having posted a novel and a novella already in 2008, It will be a few months before my next story is ready. However, if I can remember that long, I shall make sure that you get a copy as soon as the zeta reader has done his work.

Of course you must also promise not to mention or discuss the new story until it is officially posted here!

Kit

I have just enough ego to admit that Kit has given me the honour¹ of being his zeta-reader.

1. Note that I've already adapted to the UK spelling of things!

I second the motion; I think third-person was perfect for this story, and Kit did a fine job of it. It's not easy to capture emotions and depth in third, but kid did that superbly.

Mike, I think you nailed it regarding Adam; he keeps to a safe zone, and in a way, is a little dead inside due to defending himself and his emotions from so much, for so long.

Mike, you never cease to amaze me; GREAT quote spotting!
Thanks Kit, for a wonderful story.
CJ

My opinion isn't so much that it was a story about people kids growing up and ending up in a 'sad environment' but merely that it was a story about people adjusting to what they perceive as 'normal'. To me, while often poignant and evocative, the story doesn't ask for sympathy for Adam and Brian, it merely asks for acceptance of their plight.

Adam is the way he is because of his childhood, but to me Kit goes to great lengths to show us that it wasn't a uniformly unhappy childhood. Indeed it seems to have been punctuated by happiness. In many ways this is a more dramatic story of the experience most all readers have when growing up. No one's childhood is truly filled with total happiness or misery, but of course with a balanence and combination of the two.

Of course much in Adam's life was sad, but by the time he experienced it, it was essentially 'par for the course'.

It is my opinion that this story, in many ways, speaks of the essential goal of overcoming all childhood issues, regardless of what in particular is endured.

Excellent job, Kit, I quite enjoyed it!

-Kevin

Thank you very much, Kevin, for such thoughtful and insightful comments.


Even if a reader doesn't like a story, these are the sort of comments which I appreciate because it shows that my writing has given them food for thought and that there has been some real communication. It is very rewarding for me when a reader shows that they understand so much of what I was trying to say.


You are correct that the story doesn't ask for sympathy for the brothers and I'm sure Adam would have been horrified if anyone had pitied him. Also, Brian appears to be less damaged by his childhood than Adam was, probably because he had a big brother to shield him to some extent. Certainly Adam wasn't an ideal big brother, but an imperfect shield is better than no shield at all.


Yes, I tried to ensure that I showed that Adam's childhood had happy times as well as sad times. I hope that my efforts to do that were not too unsubtle!



I'm sure that all young children feel that their childhood and their parents are 'normal'. After all, they have nothing else to compare with and young children tend to accept life as it is.

Although I personally prefer pleasant stories, some stories that try to give insights into certain aspects of life can't always be totally pleasant. Hopefully, though, even if the story can't be totally enjoyable it can still be worthwhile. Sometimes I can't give my stories a traditional 'happy ending', but I always try to ensure the ending conveys hope.

Thanks again for the great comments!


Kit

This is one of the things that made the story so real for me; Adam is definitely flawed; but it is so believable. He's emotionally wounded, still paying the price of his parents after so many years. Their bad actions have outlived them, their only lasting legacy.

Dear Kit,

Most of this post I already sent you as an email. I hope you don't mind me putting it here.

Perspective was quite fascinating. And it was amazingly true to life, perhaps because it was real.

It made me think of my relationship with my own brother. I don't think he was gay because he married and had three children - but I married and had two and I am - so maybe . . I've had no hint that he might have been and it's too late to find out; he died of a heart attack in China when he was 59 - in early 1997. He was 2½ years younger than me. We never got on because I was compelled to look after him when I didn't want to and play with him when I didn't want to and punished when we fought (which was often).

He was naughty and I was good. He got beaten at school and only on one occasion was I kept behind after school for a punishment. I was academically gifted (I got a scholarship to Oxford) and he was not. But like the prodigal son he was favoured when he got older. I think he got thrown out of seven universities! When he eventually started work the job was found on the old boy net, but when he had an opportunity to set up on his own my parents helped and he became a successful business man and rich by my standards. His firm was (is) the European market leader in the supply of hydraulic seals.

Only once did we share anything to do with sex and it was when I was just beginning puberty. We were messing about in my bedroom after a bath. I remember ejaculating (as a consequence of pushing a large glass marble in and out of my arse) and not knowing what it was and when my brother asked what it was I wiped it away (as it was only a very small single drop) and saying it was nothing. It may even have been my very first ejaculation. He was able to get an erection but soon got bored. But he told my mother and that was the end of that. She didn't say anything to me but told him not to do any more of that (so he told me) and he wouldn't.

Subsequently we drifted apart and then were kept apart by my mother. When my father died (in 1989) my brother looked after my mother for a month at his house in France as I was about to set off to Australia. I went to France to bring her back and we got talking - both he and I and my wife and his. We discovered that she had been vilifying each of us to the other by retailing false gossip about what we had each told her about the other. Her only comment was "Things were all right until you two got together".

And I never told my parents or my brother that I am gay, though I expect they knew. They were very inhibited about sex and couldn't talk about it. I never had a parental sex talk. That was probably a good thing because I never learned to be inhibited about it.

One thing in the story struck me as odd, perhaps because my brother and I did not so much drift apart as actively avoid each other. That was the great length of time Adam and Brian lasted before coming together at their father's funeral. I think if I'd not disliked my brother it would have been hard to have a monthly phone call and not to see each other in ten years. But I ought to try to understand.

I wasn't repressed and I didn't hate and Adam was and did. The chaplain of my college thought I might be emotionally retarded by the complete lack of physical affection at home and maybe I was but I think I soon got over it when I did national service and began having sex with people. Indeed I was too uninhibited and eagerly had liaisons with unsuitable people. My excuse is that in those days all homosexual acts were against the law and one took what one could get.

Sorry I seem to have drifted from the topic, but perhaps it all goes to show how well you told the story that I relate to it so strongly.

Love,
Anthony

Hi Anthony!


Thanks for the kind comments - it's flattering that my writing has been able to strike a chord with you.


Why did Adam and Brian maintain just the long-distance contact, despite the bond they had? I suppose there are many possible reasons. Brian was a little closer and still loyal to their parents, despite their faults, and Brian had managed to forgive their parents. So, while the parents were still alive, it may have seemed to Brian that getting closer to Adam would hurt his parents and seem to be disloyal.

Adam didn't know how badly Brian had been treated after Adam went to Uni, so felt that Brian was the parents' favourite and 'on their side'. Only during their long talk did he see things from Brian's point of view, and only then did he realise how wrong he'd been about Brian's relationship with their parents. Despite the bond, the lack of understanding made them resent one another a little.

Also, for both of them, the idea of getting together in person raised up the unpleasant memories of their childhood. The deaths of their parents provided both a reason to meet up and also removed the mental barrier that the parents represented. It was a chance for a fresh start, and both of them took that chance.

Thanks again for your very insightful comments.

Kit

I loved this story, mainly because it isn't a cliched piece of fluff...(like mine )
no it had depth that can totally be related to real life... it really showed the damage that parents can inflict on their children.

Whilst it seemed like a sad ending, I think it kind of shows how both the brother's lives were able to open up after the death of their parents... they can be close again.

I think no matter what the damage we endure as children we'll always find a way of getting past it, and I like to think that Adam will one day