Hi all
I've checked and there are a few threads on this already, but a long time ago so I thought I'd just start a new one.

For various reasons I am curious to know how many people in GA have other family members who are also gay/whatever. It can be in the immediate family or the side family or in the past generations....or

Myself, my mum isnt very sure what she is. other than that I have no clue about the rest of the family for sure, but I think its no.

Just interested,
Celia

I have a uncle who is gay, mom (str8) and uncle J's, uncle is gay too. That is a great uncle?

someone else might be bi, no idea if that's still the case.

I kind of want to add the qualifier, if you answered No to the gay question yourself, did you answer yes or no to the family question, but its too late now, sigh. thanks for the answers so far. Celia

My aunt was a lesbian. I have two cousins who are gay and one I suspect of being bi. Other than that, they're all straight as far as I know.

Family rumor is that one of my mom's older brothers may have been gay...

until the death of my grandma, it was something not to be discussed, but my uncle, my mums youngest bro, died in 1993 of aids and it was caused by his sexuality (in other words he was most likely gay)

So far it seems i'm the only one in my family that's gay... though I do wonder about my uncle (he's in his late 30's and has never had a girlfriend that me or my dad know of...)

I don't know. Southern families aren't exactly forthcoming about such matters. I suspect because there are parts of the family that seem to avoid other parts so we can't for a union or something.

Well my Brother-in-law is Bi.. does that count? I'm sure there are other family members that are gay in my family, we have a large family so it's just numbers game. Some of our family are open to the idea of people being gay and others are not.

Well, not \"out\" gays anyway. There are a number of uncles who aren\'t married. (that\'s something huge here ) So, perhaps, some in-closet gay uncles?

Ieshwar

Errr, not to be rude - especially about such a delicate issue - but I don't think that's phrased quite the way you meant it. Right now it reads such that being gay caused him to contract AIDs and die. It probably lead to his exposure, and I can understand the correlation, but I don't think being gay specifically caused it. The specific cause, IMO, would have been the presumable unprotected sex (just theorizing he may have gotten it in other ways). Also, I'm not trying to criticise him if that was case - back in the day when he likely contracted HIV people weren't as knowledgeable about safer sex practices (because HIV/AIDs wasn't as well known).

Anyway, I probably sound pedantic and rude, and I definitely know what you meant, but I just wanted to be explicit that being gay doesn't specifically cause HIV/AIDs - if for no other reason than that someone less informed about these issues might read this thread. Also, I know that likely wasn't what you meant to imply.





Anyway, in my family I'm gay obviously and I strongly suspect my cousin is a lesbian, though I have no proof (and would be surprised if she were a practicing lesbian). However, my family is tiny so even one - possibly two - GLBT people in it is statistically significant. Really there's less than 10 in my immediate family on each side, so just the one confirmed case is higher than average .

On a side note, because people have to respond to each question in the poll, it's actually slanted toward finding results where none might exist. For example in the second one, even though it says "if yes" you can't leave it blank. So if myself and everyone in my family were completely straight I would have still had to indicate - as the weakest form available - that someone in older generations may have been (even if I had no reason to assume this...though I guess there's probably someone gay in everyone's family tree if you go back far enough).

I would suggest the addition of a "N/A" option there, and perhaps also an "Unsure" there and in a couple of other places (like maybe the 2nd to last question)


Great poll though and interesting discussion!

Thanks, Celia

Take care all and have a great day
Kevin

Well, my cousin and I used to search for straight porn together...and we both turned out gay. I always wondered if he was interested in the porn or not.

I have several second cousins that I'm curious about, I think they are gay.

And my mom's cousin, she has lived with this man for 15 years and they've never had sex as far as anyone can tell...

My brother, who is my only sibling, is gay.

Hi kevin, yep I quickly realised that I had created a bad poll. If I could change it I would, but I don't know how to, plus its too late for those who answered already. oh well its my first time creating one, I'll make sure I think it through alot more next time. also realise some people may have children etc who are gay, no option for that either.

Celia

Little brother
Two cousins
Aunt
Uncle

That's "legal" family. Solidarity family is so queer it's psychadelic.

As far as I know, I'm the only one; and according to my dad, my family can be traced to the Eastern Zhou dynasty (~770 BC). But I guess that sort of information wasn't written in the family annals.

Since I can't really answer the second question if the answer to the first is not yes, I am posting my reply here.

I DON'T KNOW for sure. I mean, who would like to come out in a country where gay sex is illegal? Well, in my family I know of no one who might be gay/bi.

And, i am bisexual (heavily leaning male)



BeaStKid

My cousin's gay, but sometimes I wonder if he's not asexual since he doesn't date Also, I have an uncle out in Cali that I personally think is gay and deep in the closet because he's 26 and has never had a girlfriend. According to my dad and my other uncle, he's never even looked at a girl. Add to that the fact that he goes out on deep sea fishing trips with lots of men for weeks at a time, and that he's Greek, and everything kinda falls in place IMO.

Okay, maybe the Greek thing shouldn't count, but whenever I think about it, I can't help but include it

Although I said that I was pretty sure that the rest of my family weren't, I also have an uncle who I wondered about. My dad's brother, he's not married, in his 50's and I've never ever seen or heard him talk about girls. My mum tells me that at one point he did have a girlfriend but for some reason it ended. but its funny how we are all speculating . But I think in the end I just decided that it wasnt my business, and really its just as likely he is just a loner or not very good with girls and interacting in general, which fits. if he's happy its good, but I hope he is otherwise I really want him to find someone. Apparently he had a major breakdown years and years ago, and now works for the samaritans in his spare time, so that is likely linked with it all. but anyway, its funny how we are so quick to jump to that assumption.

Celia

I think I'm the only person in the family who is gay (coincidence that I'm the only deaf member too), but I never asked or looked on them, I just playing and communicating until someone from my family comes out to me, then that counts too. I haven't received it like that...

I think he was trying to say that his uncle's death was contributed to unsafe sexual practices, most likely of the male-to-male variety. There is an undeniable higher risk associated, but that does not mean all who have HIV/AIDS are into male-to-male sex or that all of us have it. I don't think Sacha meant it that way.

........I have no clue if anyone in our family tree is gay, not that I could ask anyone anyway.

My family doesn't really talk about "this sort of thing". One of my mom's cousins is gay, or at least my mom thinks she is, since she's lived with the same woman for more than a couple decades now. The story, as my mom knows it, is that her cousin was set to marry her boyfriend after high school (both she and my mom graduated in '60), but after high school, she called off the wedding and nothing else was ever really said. I don't know how long she and her partner have been together. Whenever I saw/see them, it was with the entire extended family (which is huge; my grandmother had 7 siblings). The family, as a whole, never really shows any PDA, so it wouldn't be obvious. Her partner is divorced with grown kids.

The family also has several males who are in their late 30's-early 40's and still unmarried, but that doesn't mean much, really. I'm #$%@ 34 and never been #$%@ married. But two of these guys I've never seen with with a girlfriend... one is in theater (so, if you want to follow the stereotype!) and the other I strongly believe has aspergers (which would tip the scales toward just being social inept).

Most of the rest are married, so we'd never know if they're bi or closeted.

I tossed in a cousin that isn't actually a relative, and I think there's another (distant) cousin that is a lesbian, but that's about it.

That said, I have a huge bloody family, many of them young, so who knows what may come out of the woodwork. And, in fact, I'm not out except to a few individuals in the larger family, mostly because I can't stand most of that family except for said individuals. Actually, I can't stand a few people who do know, but my cousin has loose lips, though I love her anyways. So there are potentially several people that are "family" in my family, and just choose not to say anything about it.

I have no idea if anyone else in my family is gay. It's just not a topic of discussion. Not that it couldn't ever be a topic, it just never has been.

That said, there are a lot of things about my family that I don't know. It seems that I learn one or two new things about my extended family every year lol. I learned at my great uncle Billy's funeral that he was a big man in the military during WWII. He was one stripe away from having the most stripes anyone could ever get... I think in the air force... could be navy, not sure. Before then I only knew that he existed, and now my sister and I are pissed because we could have heard a lot of interesting stories from him and he lived only ~30 minutes away from us in Clark (oddly enough the place where our first family reunion, or "Cousin's Party" was last summer lol).

If you like Celia, I can edit it however you want. Just let me know


You lucky thing! I've always wanted gay family (apart from that cousin I'm suspicious about)! I know it sounds bad to say that I have any sort of preference for my kids' sexuality but I really hope at least one of them turns out gay or lesbian. Actually, since I'll probably adopt I might specifically try to adopt a gay or lesbian child. Don't get me wrong I'd love a straight kid just as much, and I wouldn't be 'disappointed' exactly, but it'd just be nice to have gay kids.


Ya know, Beasty, if you lean over far enough you're apt to tip over




I seem to remember once reading in your blog or something about a guy James was dating. Maybe he just doesn't like to date very often?


I completely agree and that's exactly the way I took it to begin with. As I said, I was just being pedantic and probably a tad OCD

Kev, I am most likely to settle down with a guy than with a gal....

Yeah my dad ran him off. He's had other bf's since then, but he's going on like an 18 month drought. Also, he happily admits that he's still a virgin and plans to stay one for a while, which might also explain his inability to bag a good man.

Now, I didn't know about fishermen. Though my theory about the guys who go hunting in the swamps is that they're gay, or at least dissatisfied with their family life. But I wouldn't dare come close to one of their huts and yell "Hunters are just a bunch of closeted gays!" because they've guns and they drink. Hence provocation could be a bit dangerous.

The Greek stuff, maybe, though it's another macho country...

Surprisingly enough, in my family the percentage is limited. I've got one cousin who lives with another woman, out of 40 cousins overall. There might be one or two closet cases, but I actually doubt it.

your poll questions are not complete .
I choose "more distantly removed family" because I dont have any other appropriate choice .
The other gay in my family is my son !
Old bob

Well, I've certainly been around the block a few times, but I don't think sex is by any means essential to landing a good guy. Indeed my favourite boyfriend to date has been the only one I haven't slept with. Which I think is unrelated. I'd have probably enjoyed the relationship even more if we had been having sex (he wasn't ready), but even so, it was a satisfying, good time. I certainly don't see anything wrong with it if he wants to 'wait for the right guy' before he has sex. The 'right guy' (for him at least) will understand that and be willing to wait until he's ready.

I couldn't correctly answer the poll, so I'll respond here.

No one in my immediate family is gay or bi. That I know for sure.

I also know my extended family consists of 80+ people and I've never met any of them. The one I did meet has passed away and she didn't talk about the rest of them.

I don't know. I think he's reaching critical mass. If he keeps going the way he is, they'll be making a sequel to the movie 40 year old virgin, and they can ask him to star in it as a documentary.

yep sorry bob, thanks for replying anyways .



again sorry about that. I can't believe how big some of your families are!!! When Kev said he had a small family that to me sounds like more the normal family I come across in the uk, definitly my family type of size. there are only 12 grandkids (im 1 of 3), and I thought that was a decentish size. my mum is one of 4 and they've all had kids. my dad only had one brother and he's not had any so that side is alot smaller. I suppose when you start to count their cousins and stuff it adds up but we rarely if ever meet them, so I don't really consider them family. i met one of my 2nd cousins the other day for the first time, and my gran was joking it was good because now we would know each other for at her funeral , not a joke I really appreciated, but also very true, it probably will be the next time I see him .

anyway, thanks for replying everyone, it was interesting to learn abit more about you all. Sorry for the bad poll. Sigh, I've got to go pack for a month, I can't avoid it any longer . see you all in probably a months time.

Celia

My little brother is gay. He's a big time flamer, wears make up and all. My family constantly makes fun of him. I don't care. I like playing with his boyfriends.

I have two cousins. One died of Aids, Unfortunately, he was disowned by his immediate family. I got to see my other cousin on July 4th at a family get together. A funny thing about my cousin Joe, his partner's name is Joesph, they have a dog named Joey and a cat name Josie.

I suspect my youngest brother is gay, but it's never been confirmed. I also have a sister-in-law who's a lesbian.

I find it the poll interesting, some it's mostly with cousins. only a few it's with aunts/uncles.

So... my family is interesting.

My mother was adopted, and so was her sister, but her brother was a biological son. I am gay, my cousin (my mom's sister's son) is gay, and everyone one in the family thinks that my other cousin (my mom's brother's son) is also gay. Very interesting indeed.

I am not aware of any other gay people in my family besides the ones mentioned above.

Kurt

I know I took quite some time to respond back,,, It's not rude at all Kevin,,, or at least, I didn't take it as rude. I wrote the way I wrote it because it is how it's been said.. I never really pushed the topic simply because it always been something that you wouldn't talk about. It's really a don't ask don't tell about those kind of information.

but for sure it's not being gay that cause the contraction of aids/HIV,,,

it's not about myself,, but, my best friend.. there's a lot of gay in his family.. that we know of,, him, his brother, his cousin and an uncle are gay, there's also another brother and cousin that are bi. this kinda makes the genetic thesis more relevant

I can't answer to all of the polls because I have a "no".

I'm the only one as far as I am concerned.