I told John and some others that I would start coming out soon, beginning with my sister when I see her on our family vacation in Florida in a month. I instant messaged her a little while ago and we had this conversation:

R: there's something I need to tell you when we're there, but I want to do it face to face and out of earshot of mom and dad...
E: dont tell me you got knocked up
R: lol no
E: cuz if you did you need to sell yourself to science
R: lol
E: getting out of earshot of them shouldnt be too hard
E: wait til they pass out at 7 and go to a bar
R: haha
R: well it can't be public either
E: ok then out of earshot of them and outside the hotel somewhere
E: you sure are a suspensful sob
R: okay... it's just something very private and I need you to keep an open mind about it
E: hahaha like my mind could BE anymore open
R: and it has to do with that folder I was afraid of losing, so if I like your reaction, then I might tell you about that too
E: you;ve seen the people i associate with
R: yeah, I know
R: doesn't mean I won't be paranoid though
E: unless you tell me that you're becoming a born again christian, i doubt it will be a problem
E: or jehovah's witness
R: oh god no, on both counts
E: if you do, i am feeding you to grandma herbert's bird
R: honestly I don't think you would react negatively, but society has me paranoid
E: society does that
E: which is why im glad i'm in anthropology :-) they purposefully bend the norms
R: lol

I'll take a scotch... in a Big Gulp...


If she reacts well, then I'll ask her how she thinks our parents would react, and act accordingly when the time is right.

To give you an idea of her personality, the conversation then turned to piercings. She wants to get a lip ring, another eyebrow ring, and is gauging one of her lobes to 10mm.

Somehow, I don't think you will have any problem telling your sister. Good luck!

The best of luck to you sir! It sounds like things are going to go good for you.

Good Luck Robbie.

Robbie, it looks promising. Go for it and good luck!

Best wishes, Robbie (I'm not saying good luck, because I don't believe you'll need it )

Thanks guys! She flies down there to meet up with us on the 14th if my dad remembers to buy the tickets, so it's a little under a month off.

Your sister seems nice so if you keep up the courage and tell her I believe she'll accept it well.

I totally second what Graeme said !
All the best !

.........Hoping I'm not out-line here, but I suspect she already knows; good luck anyhow Robbie!

R: there's something I need to tell you when we're there, but I want to do it face to face and out of earshot of mom and dad...
E: dont tell me you got knocked up

Yeah, I definitely think she knows.

Good luck, my amore! I hope your sister will love and accept you no matter what...

She was just being a jerk, hence the comment that I would need to sell my body to science.

She's actually a total putz. I gave her all five seasons of QAF and her comment to me having that was, "How ironic!" When I told her that I was in the GSA at my old school she said, "Just because?"

I imagine she'll be shocked at first, then she'll think about it and start putting things together... like the fact that I haven't had a girlfriend since the 7th grade (and that one whore doesn't count in my book); the fact that I haven't asked out my friend Trish, who I would be married to right now if I wasn't gay; QAF + GSA, etc.

EDIT: I almost have the urge to just get it over with and tell her now... the suspense is getting to me lol. My hours at work have been severely cut due to payroll shortage, so I don't have that occupy my time with much anymore. I'm tempted to IM or call her right now and do it...

......Ahem, that many clues and she's clueless?????? LOL

She's book smart, not street smart lol.

After receiving qaf from a family member especially if it's a guy I would be really suspicious.

Yea sounds like she will be really cool about it, Robbie.

Sometimes people don't take hints. It's just part of human nature I suppose. I think she'll at least be accepting.

..............Ok, I mean yeah, I can remember having 'friends' that were like that!!

Go for it, Robbie.

I agree. Suspense can make a person nervous. It's best just to get it over with.

.........Don't push him! Than again she may not get it!

I agree with Benji. It's up to Robbie to decide what he wants to do and when.

We'll see...

Dude, I reeeeally think she knows

Even if I'm wrong though I think you're pretty safe. Anthropology majors tend to be pretty awesome in this regard. Apart from which your conversation reminds me somewhat of a typical convo between myself and my close lesbian friend Claire (not that I'm insinuating that your sister is a lesbian). In fact she was the first person I came out to, and our conversation didn't go completely unlike yours.

Good luck, Robbie



-Kevin

I hope that it goes very well for you Robbie.

Of course, it's my hope that the coming out process goes well for everyone but I'm biased towards our GA homeboyz.

There are a number of you that showed up here at GA in their late teens and are now in college. You guys "grew up" here and have "brothers" (your peers), mentors like CJ and Kevin and a crazy Uncle James who would very merrily knee cap anyone who messes with 'da familiy.

You can't go wrong with a team like this, Robbie!


Conner

Robbie, I think that she knows because all sisters do. Mine who is completely oblivious to thing called me out on it one day when she came into my room while I was doin some homework (this was back in HS mind you) and said, not asked, you're gay right?

I was dumbfounded because I didn't act gay (I acted straight pretty well unless I felt comfortable around people, but thats another subject all together), or pretty much do anything gay that she knew of (and she was in 6th grade) yet she knew and called me on it. So trust us when we say, your sister probably knows, because deep down inside all parents/siblings/extended relatives/friends know it's just a matter of admiting it to themselves.

And besides, she'll probably be cool about it (she didn't flip when she got the QAF and you told her you were in GSA). In any case we're all here for ya rooting you on

Eric

Aw, you guys are so sweet...



You haven't met my sister.

Let me tell you all a little story... There was a time when my father was in Boston on a business trip. I believe this might have been on 9/11 because he had to drive from Boston to our house in New Jersey to get home. Either that or he'd taken his own plane and it broke down, but the point he he had to rent a car and drive from New England to North Jersey. He described how he was going to make the trip, mentioning Connecticut. My sister's response was, and I'm really quoting her here, "Dad, Connecticut is below Washington D.C.!"

I'll give you all a moment to let that soak in.

*twiddles thumbs, rolls on the balls of his feet, checks his watch, hums a little to himself, checks his watch again*

Like I said, the woman is book smart... she got straight As almost her entire life and she's entering her second year of graduate school next month (this time includes six years of college before graduate school). You put her on the street with nothing but the clothes on her back and she'll die.

I sincerely doubt she'll take those clues and put them together. In fact, I get the feeling that when I say to her, "I'm gay," she'll say to me, "Of course you're happy, you're in Florida!" At which point I'll have to clarify and tell her that the person I am in love with has a penis and that I could never love someone the way I love him if they have a vagina.

Seriously? That explains Jersey women are sillier than Jersey men.



Good luck. From your worst nightmare.

Thanks, and don't worry -- you'll just wake up one morning with pretty pictures drawn all over your face and Sharpes strewn over the bed.

Draw me a fish or snowflakes. I'm depressed because it's not winter...instead we get an oppessive heatwave.


I am not worried. Why should I?


You'll be fine. You know the steps and you spent years thinking about it.

Good! Then we'll have no problems!


I didn't spend all that time in art class for nothing!

[yes, I know what you're talking about, lol]

Oh yeah, she knows. How ironic... just because... she's just waiting for when you're comfortable to tell her. Those are the responses I would expect if she knew. I think she's going to take it really well because it goes to show that she wants you to feel okay with coming to her rather than just confronting you about it.

Well we'll find out when I tell her then.

I'm feeling more and more like I should just call her and get it over with. Is that a bad idea? Is it better to do it face-to-face?

Face to face is definitely better, but I came out to someone on the phone. I didn't really have a lot of choice -- they now live in the USA and when I happened to be in the same country I took the opportunity to ring them

A lot will be a personal judgement call. Do you feel you'll be able to explain things better in person, if an explanation is needed? Do you think there's a chance she'll just hang up, and then do who-knows-what? If so, wait. If you think you can do it all over the phone, including reasonable worst-case scenarios (eg. she thinks you're just fooling her, or she responds "No, you can't be!" and then hangs up -- what ever you think is reasonable for her to do), then go for it.

But if you can hold off, it is definitely better to do it face to face.

Do it face to face, its more respectful and (imo) honest then over the phone or through im. When someone tells me something important like coming out or something to that effect over the phone, I feel like they're too cowardly to do it face to face (but then again I can be a stick in the mud because I like to see the expression in peoples faces to see the emotion behind it)

Or you can do what you feel is best, after all she is your sister and you know her better then anyone

Eric

I think we must be stuck in the same mud hole, Eric! I agree with you


Apart from which, Robbie, you'll want to collect your 'post coming out' hug, and it'll be more difficult via the phone

Yeah I figured that it was best to do it face to face... that way if she reacts negatively and runs and tries to cry wolf I can trip her, summon the powers of the gods to walk on water and walk out the middle of the pool and hold her head under the water until the bubbles stop...
















































What?


Okay that wouldn't happen, but I'm confident that she would keep it a secret from our parents regardless... We're the standard feuding siblings, but we do it jokingly to aggravate our mother. I've held secrets for her, so she'll definitely hold this one for me until I'm ready to tell our parents.

On a side note, I tested my mom last night. The results were inconclusive. My dad went to Toronto yesterday for a meeting today and I mentioned that I know a few guys up that way (in Canada) and that one of them has a husband (yeah, I used Jack Frost, lol). I also said that I couldn't remember if it was Ontario or Quebec that has gay marriage. She didn't say anything. I do know this though: She likes "gay shows" like Will and Grace, but she doesn't agree with the way gay men have sex, calling it unnatural. That's exactly what she said to me several years ago when she and I used to watch W&G. She didn't put any negative connotation to it, though. She's also known more than one gay man in her lifetime and had nothing but good things to say of them and of their relationships to other men, including a make-up guy who used to work at our Macy's store. He moved to Queens not too long ago and she still things that that's hilariously coincidental.

*sigh* I'll be seeing Erin in a little over three weeks.

Good luck rknapp. It sounds like your stuck in the same waiting to come out situation as I am right now. I'm sure it will all turn out okay though. She'll be one less person you have to keep a secret from. You've waited this long I'm sure another 3 weeks shouldn't make that much difference. (Even though it probably does)

Good luck!!!

Actually it's everywhere in Canada, it's been federal law since 2005. It was already legal in most of the provinces before that, though.

Anyway, good luck. Sounds to me like your sister already knows, and your parents sound like the type who will love and support you no matter what. All the best!

I'm still trying to figure out the topic title. I mean how many ways can you mix metaphors in just ten words, one of which is presumably a typo.

You've never read teenage poetry then? I've seen much more heroic examples, though thankfully avoided writing them myself. Mixed metaphors, yes, but not compound ones.

"The seed has been sewn" and "Time to make a splash" are separate from each other, and I wasn't sure if it was "sewn" or "sown", but it's meant to say that the seed of my coming out has been planted and watered, and I should be fully out of the closet by the end of the year, with the exception of my high school friends and extended family. Once I decide that I don't care if two of those friends know and that I don't care what my extended family thinks, I'll be completely out. One of the two friends is extremely homophobic, but my interest in him as a friend has plummeted recently, and the other one is a bit cynical... she supports gay marriage, but only because it's a nice "population control" device.

*sigh*

In two years I'll be graduating and moving either to somewhere near DC, or in Colorado... most likely Colorado. By that time, I won't give a flying f**K what anyone thinks lol.

That hurts.

Why is that?

I mean, it would hurt that you would no longer give a flying f**K what I think.

Awwww... that's so cute Jacky-poo! You think I give a flying f**K what you think... poor delusional Pennsyltuckian...

It's "sown" and it's been driving me nuts ever since you started this thread. Up until now, I've been good, though, and haven't asked you to fix it...

Back on topic -- don't drink too much before you tell your sister. You want to be at least comprehensible when you speak And, yes, I know you don't drink that much, but stress does strange things to people

Okay it's fixed. Yeesh!

Stress makes the muscles under my eyes twitch. It happened all the time in the month before I graduated from high school.

I'd rather be a Pennsyltuckian than being a New Jeryorker.