Yay, it's up!

Why do you intentionally post these in the middle of the night so it's the first thing I see in the morning??? Now I'm going to be late for work and I'm blaming you.

Great chapter, by the way...

Wow.

Wow, wow, wow.

Sorry for sounding like a blabbering idiot. But really, I don't understand how you do it. Each chapter is more powerful than the last, and this one literally had me bowled over.

You write with such perceptiveness about human emotion that it's difficult to read, sometimes, because it's like a window right into the souls of your characters. You can feel Luc's pain, Matt's pain, Scott's pain, and especially Josh's pain in this chapter in such a raw fashion. The last scene with Scott and Josh was just brilliantly done.

*SPOILERS BELOW*



So it's starting to seem like Matt still has feelings for Josh, despite his lies to Bran on the subject. The relationship between the brothers is really well written. It's like Bran, despite being younger, is really the older, wiser and stronger one, and Matt seems to lean on him a lot. He obviously still has a lot to work through, and he seems to believe that he shouldn't feel anything for Josh; after all, he knows it was a long time ago and was just a "small thing", but that doesn't mean you can change what's in your heart. And Josh is very clearly in Matt's, whether he admits it or not.

And from the final scene, it's hard to say, but it seems like Scott still has feelings for Luc, and his guilt over hurting Luc earlier by phone is so strong that he doesn't realize just how much he is hurting Josh by what he does. Or maybe he does know, and subconsciously it's his way of repenting for what he did to Luc, so to speak - evening the score. Josh is still so fragile, probably even more deeply wounded than Luc will ever be or than Scott will ever understand, and Scott is leaning on Josh so he can work through his guilt about Luc. It's a tightrope walk, really, and I haven't even mentioned the cliffhanger at the end. (Evil, evil, evil!)



This seems to be a part of Josh's personality that has developed out of the open wounds from Graham. He allows himself to get hurt because he feels that it's what the person he's with needs. And of course, Scott isn't Graham, and he would never hurt Josh just for its own twisted sake the way Graham would... but he's hurting him anyway. Twisting in the knife out of his own sense of guilt. And Josh allows it - asks for it, even - because that's what he thinks he should do. The whole thing is heartbreaking, and it makes me wonder whether they will be able to work through it.



Josh is amazingly perceptive, knowing just what Scott needs at that exact moment. But when you write "and then they were free", I can't help but wonder whether that's true. For Scott, yes. For Scott, it is a release from at least some of his demons. But for Josh? What about Josh?

I guess I'll have to (impatiently) wait for Chapter 5 to find out...



One other observation - and this really doesn't have to do with the chapter but it occurred to me after reading some of your other posts on this forum, and re-reading sections of Everybody's Wounded. You're "Ben and Ry", aren't you? (More specifically, is it "Ry" named for for "Duncan Ryder")? I mean, not literally, of course, but as a means of giving voice to your own feelings on the subject, right? Can I hope that they will put in an appearance in HTLGI to help the protagonists sort out this mess?

I really like this story, Duncan. I can't express myself the way the Cynical Romantic does; she has said it all. It surprises me that a story with so much sadness in can be so beautiful. Please keep us spellbound. Thanks.

That was a great chapter, though it literally give me chills. Luc is still lost in the darkness, clinging to hope. Scott feels so much guilt for what he feels responsible for. Then, of course, there's Josh. The revelation is probably going to make it more difficult for him to trust Scott. This could create a rift that may not easily be repaired.

I'm reluctant to make a prediction, but I can see the current, apparent living arrangements being turned upside down by the end of this story. There is too much uncertainty in the existing relationships, too many wounds unhealed for any easy resolution to take hold. The big question is whether any arrangement can resolve all the hurt.

You mean... *gasp* Luc and Matt aren't guaranteed to end up together?

Again, I am reluctant to make a prediction, but if I were to make one, this is one I might make.

Actually I'd be kinda surprised if that did happen. I know that's the obvious route the story seems to be taking right now. But if I had to guess at this point (and this is a total guess), I'd say that Matt will probably be a platonic friend to Luc, helping him heal and freeing him from his demons. I'd also guess that Josh and Scott probably won't wind up together in the end - theirs seems to be a relationship built on wounds that maybe they need one another to get over. Maybe their role in each other's lives has a limited, specific purpose. Josh is showing Scott that he doesn't always have to be the strong one in a relationship, and he can allow someone else to take care of him. He's also helping him come to terms with the guilt he feels over Luc. Scott, in turn, is showing Josh that love and tenderness and caring are possible in a relationship, and that Josh is deserving of all of those things. But once they are able to get past that, will they still be right for each other?

Actually, I'm wondering if maybe Scott and Luc will get a second chance? They both seem to still have feelings for one another - Luc outwardly, Scott maybe not so much - and while they're both dealing with a lot of baggage, maybe once they get through it, they will be free to be with one another?

All of the above is just guessing. I could be totally wrong. I probably am. Or maybe I just have a soft spot for Luc. *Grin*.

That's what I am thinking too, CR. The story is settling in on these four main characters, all of them wounded at least once in an earlier relationship. Scott is becoming the main culprit. Gentle, caring, well-intentioned Scott is doing more harm than good. He wounded Luc emotionally which prompted Luc to wound himself physically. He left Luc, thinking that Josh was the more needful. Now he has wounded the unafraid Josh by uttering a single word. All that he has done was intended to help others heal, but has only led to more hurt. Now his pairing Matt with Luc, despite his intentions for them to support each other, may lead to fresh wounds for one or both of them.

This is a sad, beautiful story.

What's that quote about the road to hell being paved with good intentions?

Okay, if Luc and Scott get another chance, then Matt and Josh need one, too! Equal opportunity, you know?

Actually, I do not think that Luc and Scott will get back together (or get together for the first time?). Scott had a facination with Luc, and that's now rolled into guilt for pushing Luc to reveal feelings that he wasn't ready to face. I don't think he actually wants to be with Luc. I think Josh is his match and I'm sticking to it!

Luc is definitely at the top of my list to get Scott's heart. He seems like such a sweet guy and I can't see him getting snuffed because of that. All that has to happen is for Scott to get his act together and realilze that it's Luc he needs to be loving not some "older" guy like Josh.

Sometimes I get the feeling that Scott's with Josh because of some sympathy thing and if Luc hadn't been so screwed up in EW they'd be together now. Of course, we wouldn't be talking about them either because there wouldn't be this story going on.

Well, at least all the major characters (Josh, Matt, Scott, and Luc) are going to be in the same building and will bump into each other on a regular basis. This should be fun, especially when Stevie and that Keirnan guy show up with the other partyers.

Great chapter Duncan!

Hehe, we have ourselves a war. Maybe we should start clubs, like the Domaholics' LRites and whatnot. SLites? SJites? LMites?

Duncan,

Enough already!

My tear bucket is full and we're only at chapter 4.

How about a beach party next chapter?

Your characters are so beautiful. They really are.

There are some great observations from your other readers. I really enjoyed them.

Congrats on being shared hosted (yes, I'm a wee bit slow off the mark). That's fantastic!

Conner

Those poor boys...

Another beautiful chapter Duncan.

Interesting, intelligent analysis. You should know how enormously fulfilling it is for a writer to see how story reaches out, and the characters are working as "real" people for readers. Thank you.

As for who I am... well... I guess I've said this enough times to individuals that I can say it in the forum. I think most of the important characters writers create reflect something of themselves ... certainly there is something of me in virtually every character in EW....

(And how do you do that black out thing, by the way.... It took me a while to figure out how to read it!!!)

Funny. When I first wrote EW it was on Nifty, and I got tons of email which I basically divided into two camps, which I thought to myself of as "Team Josh" and "Team Luc".

Thank you.

No comments on predictions of course.

But Carl is clearly on Team Luc!

Thanks Conner.

Thank you.

Gee.... you're pretty sure of whose name Scott cries out....

I have to say, I thought I'd get a much harder ride on the "cliff hanger"... I'll have to work on those I guess....

Thank you all for taking the time to comment. It is very gratifying for me to know that the story touches...that's really what I try to do. Sad? Yes, it's a sad story. But also, I hope, a loving, hopeful one. We are all wounded, after all, and we all have to keep going on, and figure this love stuff out anyway, you know?

Just highlight the text you want to hide by holding the right mouse button and dragging the cursor across the text. Then use the drop down box "Insert Special Item", and select "Spoiler".


I don't think we would see a cliffhanger if he had said "Josh". I guess he could have said "David", but I believe he is long since over David. The smart money would be on "Luc". I really think Scott has spoken from his heart. His well-intentioned plans to help Josh heal are all in his head.

Sorry, maybe I should have clarified. I didn't mean that Ben or Ry is you, specifically, in terms of exact circumstances or true-life stories or anything. I just meant that I kinda see how you have previously used them as a vehicle to interject some of your own views into the story. This fits with what you've said elsewhere in the forum about providing positive role models and it just occurred to me, maybe a bit belatedly, that you use Ben and Ry's characters as a sort of voice of reason, through which you get to feed your own opinions. I don't know whether this was intentional or not, but I think it's very, very clever.

Oh, and the blackout thing just uses the "spoiler" tag, which you can wrap around any text. Like this. See, it's fun! Okay, I'll stop now.

Anyway, keep it up. You should realize by now that I am completely addicted to this story and have become very emotionally invested in the characters, which is a true sign of excellent writing. Thank you!

Duncan, great chapter .

I see in your comments that you mention that 'everyones wounded' and I can't help but feel that with the progression of How The Light Gets In that indeed everyone is wounded.

At first glance it would seem that Josh is healing with his relationship with Scott. How much did that relationship suffer with the utterance of a name in that evil cliffhanger? I am assuming that Josh is the type of person that gives 110% in a relationship, and expects the same from his partner. Could that be the reason he stayed with Graham for so long? Could he have misread Scott as being the type of person who could love him solely the amount that he loves Scott?

Matt is definitely hurting, and I get the feeling that he is trying to recover from his demons of the past and may be fooling himself (and us) into to thinking that it is all because of Josh. The one thing that jumped out of me was the fact that Bran knows of Matt's past in the sense of the drugs and alcohol and the man whoring he did in Banff and Whistler, but he still couldn't find the strength or courage to tell him what is really weighing on his mind?



What could be so bad and be of the results of Matt's less than proud past is he willing to continue to lie about to protect Bran, and most likely others? I have a strong suspicion, but don't want to play my cards now .

Now we find out about Bran and Laura. Wow, my heart goes out to Laura when Bran tells about the counseling sessions that they are going through. It still amazes me that people can do so much to try to control and damage people for their self fulfilling needs. Bran seems to not only feel her pain, but is also being pained by the past as well. It seems that he has made a commitment to Laura to help her heal, but at the same time what sane guy wouldn't begin to wonder 'Is it worth it?'

Now Scott it seemed was healing well, up until this point. Obviously he is beginning to realize that he is not doing so well. It seems like his heart is torn between the two people that he feels he needs to help heal all by himself. His little actions to show that he really does care seems to be back firing on him and making him less and less sure of what he is doing.

For my interpretation of this chapter, and something no one else has seemed to comment on yet, Luc. I could not help but to think of his emotional state throughout the chapter. The passage that has me worried the most was this:



Luc found a strange, strong calmness descend on him???? Is this the calm before the storm? Could Luc be so alone that he has found resolve in that all his hopes and plans have been crushed once again that he feels that their is only one solution to end the pain? One decision that he has attempted to use in the past multiple times and has yet to learn that it is never the solution?

Damn Duncan, I'm hoping and praying that this is not where your going. I don't know if I can take another scene like in EW and the resulting effects on everyone.




Thank you very much for the story, you do truly touch everyone who reads your writing.

Steve

Ah. Yes. Then it that case you are right. They are the older, happily married gay couple who have always been there, who lead by example, (and who can be depended upon to deliver the right lectures -- like not perving on straight boys and safe sex -- when necessary.

Actually...the Bran and Laura story thread was there all along... Bran found out about what happened to Laura right before the championship rugby game and told Scott about it and it was Scott who suggested he get her into rape counselling because date rape is still rape.... but then Luc did what Luc did, and I think that got forgotten... but I will tell you that it's a really really important thread to pay attention to.

I wonder if Bran isn't partially going to the consoling to also help himself with his own past.


And like the others on here, Duncan, you are the master of capturing emotions. I can feel the longing, the hurt, the pain of all your characters. Though it is nice to have some happy moments in there to make us smile after all the tears! HINT HINT

I think it's a bad sign if I'm going through withdrawal symptoms after a mere 3 weeks without an update.

I'm hoping to have it finished this weekend. It's almost there.

Really.