QUOTE (Graeme @ July 24 2008, 05:34 PM)
One of the things I liked about this story was how it referred back to the other stories, but you didn't have to have read them to understand this one. It encourages the reader to read the others, but there's a story here, to, in the recap of other stories
The scene where the reporter had to struggle with his conscience about what to report was, in my mind, very well done. It's the sort of thing that ethical reporters have to do all the time -- there are things that are better off not reported, but some don't see that.
Finally, I just loved the part about Harold interacting with his Dad, and how the son told his Dad that he's not gay, and hopes he won't be too disappointed -- simply priceless
Thanks, Altimexis and David! While I happen to know who wrote which parts, I really couldn't tell and that's the sign of a good collaborative effort. I hope the two of you will write some more stories like this.
I'd just like to echo my complete agreement with what Graeme has to say here (except to point out that Harold IS the Dad; I forgot what you named the son). This took on the challenge of combining doing a retrospective with saying something new at the same time, and fulfilled that challenge smoothly, seemingly (but I'll bet in effort not really) easily.
The vehicle for
Naptown Tales -- a series of independent short stories, sharing thevame setting and focusing each on different members of the same cast of characters -- is an old and useful technique that is far less common than it should be. (It's slightly ironic tht the moist famous prior use, by Edgar Masters, is also set in Indiana.) Though Altimexus has so far taken the story forward by episodes through nearly a full year, there is nothing that prevents him form doing "infill" -- going back and addressing what a new member of the cast did in, say, March. Or if he sets the next story in, say, Labor Day (first weekend in September, for non-US readers) nothing would prevent him from afterwards doing a story from the summer.. Yet he has established known and loved characters with which to work; he doesn't have to spend words building us who David and Jeremy are each story.
For this, the anniversary holiday for American freedom and nearly the annivrsary for the events of "Broad Ripple Blues", the choice of a story framed as a retrospective was a wise one. And I think it worked in giving established relationshiops spun in other stories a chance to explicitly say something new, with delivering the message appropriate to what the characters are depicted as doing.
Generally, you two bit off a lot, and you delivered on your promise. Kudos!
HOWever, this collaboration provides me the opportunity to ask something: Do you ever plan on making available to your readership the results of the Infamous Gym Incident, or at least David's winning entry?
