Wow!
Reading this very well-written story was a very powerful and emotional experience!

This story deals with a very difficult and uncomfortable subject that not many authors would have the ability and courage to deal with. Tiff obviously has the necessary ability and courage.

The words I can find to describe the way the story works for me probably won't make much sense because they seem to be paradoxical. For example, how can I say that it deals with the subject sensitively and yet in places made me feel that I'd been punched in the guts?

Also, it seems to take an oblique but powerful dig at religious clergy.
There is a hint that the pastor had been told what Carl had done and actually encouraged Evan to kill himself. Was that really so? Was it part of a cover-up??

Thank you, Tiff, for an uncomfortable but ultimately rewarding experience!


Kit

Hey Kit!

This subject was a bit hard for me to write at first. I went through several drafts before I got it down to the final one. I couldn't go into details about the sexual abuse, because it would be very painful for me, as well as others. So instead, I hinted at the secrets that Jamie knew. I told Little hints of what happened and then it was up to the reader to imagine the rest.


You're right about the religion thing. Good job on noticing that. I didn't want to be too harsh, but it was a little blow to the clergy. I do believe that some people get very fanatical about religion, or they're sucked into the beliefs, kind of a like an acceptable cult. People don't think cleary and just want to believe what a higher power tells them.

As for the pastor, that could be interpreted differently. On one hand, the pastor believed in the power of the river, and encouraged them to cleanse their souls of their sins. On the other hand, Evan had talked to the pastor, but never went into detail. He asked enough questions to reaffirm his beliefs and went on his way. Personally, I think it was the latter.

Thanks so much for reading and commenting, Kit!

I love this story. Tiff certainly led me down a particular path, but I'm glad that the ending wasn't quite the one I thought I would be getting.

I didn't see it as a dig at the clergy, though. There was a mistaken belief in taking a metaphorical statement literally, but that's more a dig at those who believe in things literally, rather than taking the spirit of what is intended.

The ages of the characters isn't stated, but I picked Evan and Jamie as being around the fourteen age mark. The comment about girls, the height difference between Jamie and Mr. Goldsmith, the comment about them only being kids... they were still young. At that age, people can take things literally, especially when they were in desperate need of salvation. I can't imagine what it was like for Evan after six years of abuse, but I can really appreciate that he was willing to clutch at any straw of hope, and he would interpret it the way he wanted to, because he needed that hope.

A wonderful and moving story, Tiff. Thank you!

Yes, i agree Graeme.. its a really wonderful and moving story. I was a bit puzzled about the age of the characters as well.... and came up with pretty much the same age as you were (around 14...16). I have to admit i like the "side punch" at the clergy, as i am not very fond of the structures of church (as an organization), an especially not very fond of ultra conservative and "fundamental" people in general.

Good job Tiff .. i hope you know i luv ya (and your writing)

Awesome! There is no other word to describe it. I was wondering if they were really dead or not. This one was about an all-too-common problem. You were correct in the fact that it often happens without the wife's knowledge. They are skilled manipulators. The pain is very real. I was hoping for a great read, and it was delivered.

My goodness Tiff. I was so disturbed by this story in the beginning and up to the part where I realized the abuse that Evan and Porter was suffering. This was indeed a difficult subject to tackle and I think you did it well. I had a hard time thinking of those two young people taking religion literally and then wanting suicide. I know younger people can take that stuff on a more literal level than Adults and I found myself completely pissed off at whoever told Evan about the River being their only means of savior and escape...

Anyway, this story as I've said made me feel a lot and I was so pleased with the ending, that the two kids get another chance at life the way they're supposed to live and the Mother getting an eye-opening chance to love her children and be a better Mother, even though I don't really blame her for it.. it's just a terribly awful situation all around and a really messy way for the entire group (Mr. Goldsmith excluded as he has no redeeming qualities) to be the best at what they do. The mother will be able to be a better mother, Jamie became a better best friend, Evan a better brother to Porter, and Porter saved from becoming more of an abused victim.

Good story Tiff.

Krista

Very, very gut-wrenching.

*Warning: spoilers*

While reading, I kept finding myself sympathizing with the mother's point of view. This has to qualify under "every mother's worst nightmare". You take the two most horrible things that a mother could imagine - finding out her children are being abused (by her husband, no less) and believing that her children are dead. I just kept identifying with the horrible pain, guilt and shame she must have been feeling at that time.

You definitely don't shy away from the tough subjects, and congratulations to you for finding a way to really make the horrors you speak about leap off the page. It may not have been easy to read, but it was certainly powerful.

One small question, though: Is Jamie Evan's boyfriend? Or are they just friends? I'm wondering how exactly this is a gay themed story. (I'm not counting the abuse, of course; equating pedophilia with being gay is just plain sick). Not that it really matters in this context; I was just curious.

There is no requirement that anthology stories (or any stories here) be gay themed Jamie is just a good friend. Whether he is more is not really relevant to the story, in my humble opinion.

I agree Graeme. Also, Evan had been sexually abused and probably would not have been open to that for a while. Also, the probability of two best friends being gay (unless they're best friends who met because they're gay) is very low. There are stories where that happens, but the scenario is probably just as rare as the whole twin fantasy reaching fruition. Also, Tiff tends to be a realistic author.

Yeah that's what I thought, too. I just wasn't that familiar with the guidelines for the anthology. Anyway, I think it's a fantastic story - well done!

Hey Graeme,

I was hoping for some misdirection, so I'm glad the ending was unexpected and surprising.

I purposely kept the ages of the characters unknown. But if I had to estimate myself, I'd put it around the 16 mark. They're not that young, but not old enough to always be taken seriously.

Glad you enjoyed it. Thanks so much for reading and commenting!


Pete you know I love you and your beta-reading, summary writing, and title creating skills! You're the best! I'm glad I haven't scared you away yet.

I have issues with church as well. Not all aspects, but some of the overbearing and hypocrtical tendencies. In no way did the pastor convince Evan to take his life as well as Porter's, but like Graeme suggested, he was just stating his beliefs and Evan interpreted it in his own way. For someone so desperate for hope, he would have done anything, and his mind would have distorted the actual meaning of the river.

Thanks for commenting, Pete!


Heya Tim!!! I'm so glad you liked this. Since you mentioned you were a harsh editor and stuff, I'm very pleased you enjoyed the story as a whole.

Thanks so much for reading and commenting.


Hey there, CR.

You're right about the "every mother's worst nightmare." On what was supposed to be a happy occasion, she was hit with a tsunami wave of bad news, of truth and revelations. Finally, she's being shown the light, but in the worst possible way. Evan could have told her, but there is always the possiblity that she would not have believed him or taken him seriously. It's only when you see something so shocking and startling, do you really accept it. Sometimes the truth is so painful, we go into denial. It is possible Mrs. Goldsmith might have done that.

Thanks so much for reading and commenting. I like ugly subjects. I guess I like to express the pain in writing. I'm very honored that you enjoyed the dark matter of the story.

Jamie is not Evan's boyfriend, but they share a deep bond, perhaps a form of brotherly love? In the future, it might become more, but that is unknown as of now. The fact that he is willing to help Evan and Porter shows how much he cares.

Thanks again! I always like your well-thought out comments.

Hey Krista!

I didn't want to just dive right into the abuse, but I wanted to ease into the horrors of the abuse Evan had suffered. I tried to put some twists and turns in the whole thing.

This story, although dark, had a hopeful ending in all the ways you suggested. The truth is out, Mrs. Goldsmith can be a better mother, and get rid of her husband. Evan can finally start to heal from his past pain. He can rely on his mother and his best friend, Jamie, who has proven his loyalty and love.

It's the whole cliched saying--it has to get worse before it gets better. In this story, that's the case.

Thanks so much for reading and commenting.

Tiff, it's not so much that I'm harsh. I'm just thorough. Beyond that, it has little effect upon how I view the story as a whole. It was well-written, and that is the most important aspect.

What a powerful story, Tiff, just like To Kill A Man but with a much happier ending. Beyond that, I'm pretty much speechless because this is such a timeless story. Great job, as usual.

Hey Nick!

To Kill a Man had a happy ending. Those two got together. All is good in the hood, not counting those weird funks Colton gets into every now and again. I really liked the ending of this story as well, because it gives so much hope for the future, for all the characters, minus Mr. Goldsmith.

Thanks for reading and commenting.

Heya Tiff,

Have I mentioned how much I love your writing? Like, for realz! Lol. So powerful, so touching, so heart-wrenching... I would not at all be surprised if in a few years I hear about a new best seller from the award winning Tiffani Chin.

Luff ya!



^_~

Since I can't match the wonderful things already said I'll share with you something else, my feelings, oh hell yeah your getting it now....

At first let's just say I wanted to do very rude/mean/non-good things to you, yeah I know non-good things is not a word, bite me I'm special lol. Honestly though? Great work Tiff, you did something I always love and that was leave the reader's guessing the entire time, I'm sure more then half of everyone who read this story knew Evan and Porter, were most

likely going to die, but see I bet you a lot of people forgot what Jamie said in the beginning.




I for one totally forgot about it, that happens when such a good author writes something totally brilliant, it’s just what you do. So Keep doing what you do and no matter how busy or sick I am I promise you I will read it as soon as it comes out, because that’s how danm good it is.

One I think I really did enjoy was how you gave us bits and pieces of things and let our minds just figure things out on their own, I mean really the dad could have done a number of things that caused both boys the pain, but I’m betting more then 80 percent of us thought the same thing and that was that both boys were being sexually abused, but were they really? Or was it something else entirely, you tell me.

ANd remember everyone, I'm not just saying this becuase If I don't she's gonig to fly to hawaii and most likey tortue the shit out of me, I'm doing this becuase Tiff really is one fine author and deserves to get her great works seen by everyone, so go read it, live it, love it, Okay maybe you don't want to live it, but just read it danmm it.

That is all.

-Mike

I agree that To Kill A Man had a happy ending, but IMHO, The River had a happier ending than To Kill A Man. I loved both stories, though, and if someone asked me to pick a favorite between the two, I don't think I could choose. They're both that good.

Not an easy story to read, again not afraid to touch this subject, Evan is lucky to have a friend like Jamie. great job Tiff

Hey Bri!

You're so sweet! New best seller?! Not so sure about that, but I appreciate the compliment. But look at you, you have a future in fantasy writ:)ing. I loved your anthology. You're a master of funny lines, whereas my anthologies are sob stories.

I'm so glad you enjoyed the story. Thanks so much for commenting!


Nick, you're too sweet. I'm happy that you liked both short stories enough where that it is hard to choose between the two. I like to keep the stories at the same standard.

: )


THanks Drewbie! Glad you liked the story. Thanks so much for reading and commenting.

Oh yeah, Mike, I know you're "special." LOL. You're very special to me!!! Who else sends me cute pics?

I'm so glad you enjoyed this! You're right that my goal was to trick the readers and give the impression that Evan and Porter had drowned, but like you said, the quick line in the beginning is rapidly overshadowed by the story moving ahead into the secrets of the family. But the main point is the "gift" mentioned at the start of the story. It just takes awhile to know what that gift is: the truth, her son's lives, a second chance to be a better mother.

I like letting the readers fill in the blanks on their own. The art of "un-writing" or "non-writing" is what I like to call it. Those are real words either, so I guess that makes me special, too. As for the abuse by their stepfather, you're right, I never stated it was sexual abuse. Evan was in pain, but it could have been just physical abuse. Hmmm...I'll leave that to your imagination. I won't tell you a thing!!!

I would definitely fly to Hawaii and torture the shit out of you! I expect loyal followers. You know me so well, Mike. What a good little boy, Michael. Your master, Lisa, would be very proud of you. I'm her clone, so you have masters coast to coast.

Love ya lots!!!

This was where my heart stopped.

Excellent writing, Tiff!

Hey Tiff,
"the river" is the first of your stories I just read. I discover a perfect author and i will quickly read your other stories.
You say about your interests in your profile : "Any contact sport--I like to hit people.".
The way you hit us with your words is amazing : short, quick, direct . With very few words, you describe each character and they all stand in front of us, alive.
I support all the other comments above, I dont know what to add at the praises you earnt.
Well done, and now I have a lot to read .
Old bob

I'm suddenly very very afraid to mett Tiff....

Wow, this is a really really good story! I loved it!

*spoilers*

I really think that there is a communication barrier in every family. The fear Evan portrays in this story seems very real, and to see someone he loves suffering is unbearable. I guess the need to protect someone is somewhat overshadowing logic here? Evan loves his brother so much that he is willing to believe that the river would "cure" their "ailments". Sounds like he's going with his emotions than his logical thinking. Just like his mother whose love is blindsided by Mr. Goldsmith's charms, his belief is blindsided by what the priest said.

Parents often think they know a lot about their children when in reality, they only like to hear what they want to hear and know what they want to know. What a great way to spend their anniversary, hehe. Was it really their anniversary? Hmm... sounds like Jamie knows a lot more about that family than anyone else in that family. Makes you wonder what his mum has been doing these few years with Mr. Goldsmith. Hmmm....

lol btw, Goldsmiths University is the college I'm currently enrolled in... hmmm wonder if that Mr. Goldsmiths is the headmaster in the school. I'll hunt him down for Evan and Porter haha

Thanks, Dion!

I tried to mislead the reader...lol. I'm taking evil lessons from Kevin and Greg. So glad you enjoyed reading. Thanks for commenting.


Heya Bob!

Hmm, I never thought about hitting people with my words, but now that you mentioned it...lol. Although, I still prefer those contact sports!

I'm so glad you enjoyed the story. Thanks for reading and commenting!


Don't be afraid, darling. You know I love you. I swear, I only hit people during sports. Otherwise, I don't....

*hugs*


Heyyy Jovian!

It's very rare to have family members completely attuned to one another. Let's face it, we're all in our own little worlds, dealing with our own stress and emotions. We can only notice and be aware of so much, especially when people go to great lengths to hide the truth.

Fear is something I write about a lot. It's as powerful as love and hate. Fear can make you do extraordinary things, or terrible things, depending on the situation. In Evan's case, he was so far gone with the pain, lack of hope, despair, and love for his brother, that you're right: he let his emotions control him. He was willing to do something final to fix their problem, rather than looking at it objectively and simply telling his mother or another adult.

I didn't know there was a Goldsmiths University. Then again, how would I? LOL. Interesting. Yes, find a Mr. Goldsmith and randomly start accusing him of what he did to Evan and Porter. That would stir up some drama and big news.

Thanks for reading and commenting, dear!

Gotcha no sports with Tiff, DEAL!

Wow! What an awesome story!!


I noticed that too, Graeme. I also assumed the characters were about that age.


Well said, Cyn!


I disagree, Tim.

It's generally accepted that about one in ten males will be gay. That means that if twenty boys know each other two of them will be gay. Now I suppose in terms of sheer numbers it would seem unlikely that those two guys would randomly end up being close friends with each other. However, in terms of the real world, and personality I don't think it is.

For example two gay kids might feel 'different', if they met another kid like this and they developed a feeling of 'kindred spirits' that could easily lead to them forming a close, best-friend relationship prior to either being out. Also, not to be overly stereotypical but they may indeed have separate interests and hobbies that the other boys aren't particularly interested in that would also lead them to pair off. Just for the sake of being stereotypical maybe they both like drama, music, art etc (I think the whole subconsciously realizing they're kindred spirits thing is more salient though).

I'll use myself as an example. One of my fairly close male friends turned out to be gay and three of my close/fairly close female friends turned out to be lesbians! We were all in the closet at the time but years later look how things turned out?

Anyway, my points is that I think merely being gay or lesbian makes one subconsciously more likely to form friendships with other gays and lesbians. So it's not a random percentage thing. To me it's simply a matter of a 'birds of a feather' thing.

In any case, I didn't think either Jamie or Evan were gay and I certainly didn't think they were boyfriends. So I guess I'm off topic


I don't mislead the reader! ...I simply create situations in which the reader may possibly make fallacious assumptions



I can't add too much to what has already been said, although I definitely agree!

I will throw in a new topic though if you don't mind.

What was everyone's perception of Jamie?

One of the things I was struck by was how different he seemed in the scenes with Mr and Mrs Goldsmith to how he seemed in the scenes with Evan and Porter. Of course it all fit together perfectly at the end and made him a very consistent character (indeed he wouldn't have been consistent if he'd seemed consistent ), but I noticed how differently he acted in the two settings. With Mrs. Goldsmith he seemed apologetic, but very fatalistic and apt to justify his and/or Evan's behaviour. With Evan he tried to counsel him against his actions and he seemed more positive and encouraging.

Did anyone else notice that?

I noticed it the most between the first and third scene (the third scene being the second with Jamie). As the story progressed he sort of 'fused' into a unified character. Which was very well done, Tiff! Way to go!

A couple of other comments on Jamie:

Do people agree with his actions? Basically he agreed to help Evan without knowing what he was getting into then he felt obligated to go ahead and get directions to the river and take Evan and Porter out there. Personally speaking, I wouldn't have done that. I've have physically dragged Evan home to talk to his mom! (or tried if I weren't big enough to accomplish the task) Or I'd have gone straight to his mother myself, but I wouldn't have gone ahead and taken Evan out to the river. Of course this can be attributed to Jamie being a young teen. At that age being bound by promises, secrecy and such things is a bigger part of the culture. "but you promised"

So in that way it was very sensible, believable, and accurate for a young teen. It's not the way I would have expected an adult to behave though.

On another point, did Evan need Jamie for his plans at all? He'd already spoken to the reverend (or for some reason I thought his son), so he probably could have gotten directions out to the river without involving Jamie at all. Jamie's function for Evan seems to me to have been mostly for moral support.


Anyway, awesome story, Tiff!

I really enjoyed it!

-Kevin

Coming from you, that means a lot! Thanks!


HAHA, your attempt at innocence won't work on me! I know you and your evil ways by now! Nice try, Kevin!


Great observation, Kevin. If Evan and Jamie were older, I would not have believed in Jamie's actions. Like you said, it wouldn't have been realistic. An adult would run and get help, no matter what. But being young, and so close, promises are important and final. I know when I was younger, I'd feel bad about breaking a promise to my best friend.

But it was Jamie's nature to want to help his best friend, and he knew he shouldn't have agreed. He was regretting hsi decision, but Evan guilted him. Maybe Jamie caved because he knew Evan was in so much pain.


Another great point, Kevin. I don't think Evan needed Jamie at all. He could have gotten a ride from someone else, or found a way if he really wanted to. I think by telling Jamie, it was his first step in reaching out for help. He was torn between ending the pain, and telling someone he could trust and getting help.

Plus, by telling Jamie, someone knew of his plans. Perhaps he wanted someone to talk him out of it, to stop him, or just for someone to remember him and know the truth of why he had taken those actions in the first place. (I hope that makes sense, lol! I can't explain myself. I'm bad a this!).

But you're right; on some level, Jamie was pure moral support.

And it all worked out in the end.

Your evil lessons are working wonders on me.

Thanks so much for reading and commenting, Kevin! Love ya lots!

I disagree

If Evan had spoken to the reverend and ask for directions to the river, he would have probably learned that the river was a metaphor. I sincerely doubt that the reverend in his preaching was talking about a literal river, but that's the way Evan interpreted it. So, for the story to happen, Evan needed Jamie, because Jamie didn't realise that the river was a metaphorical river, either -- another pointer to the young age of the characters.

Cunning little bastards. Had me totally tricked

My favorite parts:



That part just hit me close. I don't know why, but it just hit me.

And this:



Excellent story

Hey Canundra!

Thanks for reading and commenting.

But yeah, those "cunning bastards!" That's the point, to lead the reader on, and then WHAM! They're alive.

Glad you enjoyed.