suddenly to not remember anything from the past would frighten me and most be confusing George. Ask questions when did the affair start.

Another good anthology Corvus,

kinda think if it like a road to recovery for him. Same time he seems to keep on getting disoriented, example when he woke up, yet he is remeber learning more. Would someone keep on forgetting their own name?

This was one of my favourite stories in the anthology.
It is very well written and gives an excellent idea of how a disease (Alzheimer's?) can destroy memory but still give flashes of clarity and remembrence. Good days and bad days.

The anniversary connection wasn't obvious to me. Did I miss something? (The anniversary of his daughter's death?)

Just one minor (maybe petty) thing that occurred to me...
At one point he needs the bathroom urgently but the dialogue and narrative timeline continues unbroken with no place/time-slot he might have had time to go.

Thanks for the story!

Kit

Same here I thought it was a brilliant piece of characterisation. I really felt what George was going through, and how it felt to forget things that he should know.


Another option is that for someone with memory loss, every day is like an anniversary. Anniversaries are days to remember past events. For George, he would go through that most days.

I don't know what else to say about it -- it was a bittersweet story that felt so... human

The act of George's wife putting that note into the letter chest conveyed so much to me, and I can imagine how that would be for her. That letter chest was her own set of memories -- of a loving husband and father, who isn't what he once was, and who maybe never was what she thought he was (when she found out about the affair). The feelings were complex, but displayed in a handful of lines....

Well done, corvus! Another wonderful tale.

Yes, I didn't mention before that it seemed to me that the real 'hero' was George's wife. She must have truly loved him, not only to forgive the affair but to be able to carry on every day going through what, for her, must be very emotionally painful. After all, for George, whatever unhappiness he suffered, it was only one day's worth because he would forget if he was unhappy the day before.

There are lots of subtle nuances in this story. For example, from the interactions in the graveyard I got the feeling that the ex-lover had more-or-less abandoned George as a friend. However, maybe I misinterpreted that?

Kit

Also might be hard for him to see George like that.

This is a very elegantly written story. What I liked most was the use of the failing memory as a prism to view a lifetime of ambiguous relationships and painful memories. It gives one a sense of seeing things through smoke and shadows.

I think Eliot and Maddy weren't friends, but the first name she suggested as to who had brought George home was Eliot. That implies he's brought George back before, so, no, I don't think Eliot has abandoned George as a friend. The friendship isn't the same (how could it be, with George's memory), but Eliot still cares for George in his own way.

Amazing story! I like how the emotions are deliberately understated. It somehow makes the whole thing more poignant. I agree that Maddy is truly heroic, not only taking care of her husband with endless patience, but every time he asks, bringing up what are surely painful memories for her in order to help him remember. What struck me about this story is that it dared to imagine a situation where there is something even more difficult than forgiveness.

I think I need to read this one a few more times. There's so much buried between the lines.

Oh, one other question: The name thing - a tribute to George Bernard Shaw?

That was my guess when I read it. Either that, or corvus has had trouble thinking up names (I know how that can feel at times).

Ah! Yes. You are correct. Thanks for reminding me.
That was one of the subtleties that I didn't get the significance of until you pointed it out!

Kit

Thanks everyone for reading and replying.







You're right about both. That's what I had in mind as the most direct anniversary connection. And I totally overlooked the timeline discontinuity.




When I was halfway through the story and finally saw the ending, that's exactly what I thought. Great minds think alike, eh?




Lol, well... The idea was to have readers see "George" and "Shaw" and think "Bernard!" and then realize that that's the wrong George. In a way it reflects what George might feel -- associations popping up that he doubts are correct.

I think that George's memory is completely fickle and spontaneous. Sometimes he remembers things about himself (e.g. he's a professor), and other times, he doesn't. I think he's actually remarkably self-possessed, especially in the last scene, in which he awoke as a blank slate. I guess that's the "eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!" at work.



Thanks.


Maddy is really an amazing person. She's doing all this stuff alone. She's like a saint. Heh. Her name, also, is a reference to Proust.

Again, thanks for everyone who's responded. I'm quite curious to know how the present tense worked out. It's the first time I've done it so comprehensively.

corvus

I'm glad you asked. I usually hate stories written in the present tense, because most authors using it are just doing it to be gimmicky, and they generally don't use it well. But in this case, I thought it was not only well done, but it was symbolic and exceptionally appropriate. For George, every day is like starting over; he can't remember his past, and as a result, he has no choice but to live entirely in the present. So I thought it worked really well to write the story in present tense here.

I also noted the use of the present tense, and then forgot to mention it. Sorry!

It added to the characterisation, because it made it like George lived in the here and now, and only the here and now -- which is what he was doing, given his memory. It wasn't glaring, which would have been a mistake, but it was like a nice seasoning that enriched the whole story. Enough to be noticed, and not too much to overpower.

A story that merits the usage of present tense, for once. I don't think I had ever read a story from a severely senile person's point of view before, but this was brilliantly done. His constant unsureness of things -- not only who or where he is, or who other people are, but mainly about whether he can *trust* what people say -- completely mirrors that look you see in the eyes of people like George. I could picture him so clearly while I read this.

The emergence of the story as the jigsaw puzzle that was George's memory, and to which he never had all the pieces at once, was also great, as were the changes in his perception of the world from one day to the next. All very subtle and delicious. This gave me so much more to think about than it would if the point of view hadn't been as closely focussed on George -- it was so centred on him that it felt like first person.

I could say more but it's late and I have to sleep. I don't believe you're referencing Proust, though!! Gasp. That is truly shocking. Anyway, it's still a very good story.

Was Eliot also George's son-in-law? or was it just a coincidence that both his daughter and Eliot's wife had terminal cancer?

I finally got around to reading this. A few a day, like vitamins or fruits. If I read too much, my eyes might cross!

What else can I say other than amazing? You have the art of not overdoing anything, but giving a slight hint, or a brief note, and then letting the reader feel the aftermath once we associate your words with something within ourselves. Does that sentence make any sense? LOL. I'm trying to articulate how your story made me feel, but I just read it, and my thoughts are still a bit jumbled. So I'll do my best to explain.

George's frustration at not remembering is very realistic. When I forget something, I feel very annoyed with myself, although I imagine it's much worse for George since he barely remembers anything. Also, I imagine George grasping for a memory whenever it happens to come his way, but he is unable to hold onto it. It almost seems that his memory slate is wiped clean on a daily basis. That reminds me of the Adam Sandler movie, 50 First Dates. I know your story is not meant to be comical, but the underlying idea or theme is the same.

Maddy is an amazing woman, loving, patient, and she forgave him. It must hurt her on a daily basis having to explain to George who he is, who she is, and everything surrounding their lives. She is very brave and courageous, and indeed an admirable character.

You only mention Eliot briefly, but even before you explain the affair, I definitely sensed something going on. It was the way Eliot looked at George at the cemetary. Friends might do the same thing, search for recognition in one's face, but perhaps they wouldn't shut down or feel the pain Eliot would? Then again, maybe they would.

The ending paragraphs were very powerful. Maddy said she forgave George a long time ago, but she obviously read what he wrote and even though he forgot it the next day, it still means a lot to her, the fact that he acknowledges it and wanted to make it up to her.

Great work as usual.

Actually, there were two other movies that sprung to mind when I read this. One was "The Notebook", which deals with Alzheimer's, but of course is much less dark than this story. And the other was "Memento", which deals with a short-term memory condition and has some of the same issues of timeline confusion and not knowing who to trust. But think this story stands a cut above either of those movies on an emotional level.

There was an episode in an Australian medical drama that had a similar theme. In that one, the wife had a medical condition that meant she had a serious problem with short-term memory loss. She kept a detailed diary so she could help try to push those memories into her long-term memory (which was fine).

She and her husband were involved in an accident, and he was killed. The nurses had to explain to her about his death, and help the wife deal with the corresponding grief. The end of the episode had her waking up from a sleep in hospital, and asking for her husband. The expression of pain on the nurse's face as she realised she would have to explain what had happened again was heartwrenching. That was years ago, and it's still one of a handful of episodes that I can clearly recall.

When I was reading this story, and got to the ending, that episode sprang to mind and I could visualise that expression on Maddy's face. The situations are not identical, but there's enough similarity for me to make the connection.

That's the justification I had in mind. I don't usually like reading present tense either, although I've higher tolerance for it than, say, second person narration. IMO, this sort of decision is part of the form, which should fit the function/substance of the work. It's actually analogous to a concept that I learned in evolutionary biology -- 'form fits function.' Each of Darwin's finches has the right beak shape for whatever ecological niche it's evolved into.





*basks in praise* Danke, danke schoen. And the Proust reference... wait, what's so abominable about that?





Spoilers!:
I don't think Eliot was George's son-in-law -- Eliot and George are both professors and are of the same generation, I think. So Eliot didn't marry Marigold. Otherwise, George's affair with Eliot would be highly incestuous indeed. His wife left him because of the affair, but it's not explained why Eliot is in the cemetery in the first place, so maybe she did die of cancer. Or maybe he's just waiting for George to show up.






I haven't seen any of the things you guys mentioned, but I keep thinking... I got the basic idea from somewhere else. *wracks brain*





*bows* I think I understand what you mean about telling a story by not telling it -- either that, or I in my ego have transformed your words into something I'd like to hear -- but yes, it's one way to convey a story, and by no means the only way. Sometimes I think of it as aural painting in music, or a minimalism in the visual arts.

George is one of those characters who've done bad things but whom I can't help feeling sorry for anyway. I think it's telling that he wants forgiveness from his wife and daughter, and that he keeps wanting it, fresh from each memory loss -- it's a testament to his inherent good nature, I think. It's also telling that his bisexual/homosexual inclinations isn't one of the things he remembers most easily about himself, unlike his professorship. I don't know how much of it is the double thinking that comes with an upsetting memory -- probably the same reason why it's so hard for him to remember Marigold's existence.

I like that idea.

I think I was confused because those two memories (the cancer and the affair) were explained at the same time. I went back and looked; I must've read something that wasn't there. I think because I still didn't equate Marigold with the daughter yet.

I'm so glad you explained this. When there were comments about Eliot being George's son-in-law, I was completely confused! For a second I was really annoyed with myself. I thought I had somehow missed the facts. I was going, "Tiffani, do you know how to freaking read?!?" LOL. So thanks for clearing stuff up.

I was a little confused too. I didn't associate Marigold with the daughter, and was it stated what she died from? I know Eliot's wife died of cancer. I need to go back and read.

Anyway, the thought of Eliot just waiting for George to show up is very "Awwwww!" I'm going with that reason.

Yeah.

A very nice story dealing with a problem we all may face one day either personally or with a loved one. The present tense definitely worked in this story as that is all George has. There is no past other than bits of memories that make little sense when seen singularly.

The wandering is so typical of cases like George. They go and forget where they are or where they were. Then people come looking for them. It was interesting Maddy first suspected Eliot of finding George in the park and being surprised it was the neighbor. It's almost as if Eliot is still a part of their lives, an accepted dark smudge that is suddenly required now that George is failing. Finding Eliot at the cemetery was a bit of a surprise, but not unexpected as they were all close at one point in time.

And, Maddy's dealing with George is so beautiful. Her patience with his increasing inability to remember is a nice touch to the story. When they went for the ride to the cemetery, I was half expecting Maddy was taking George to a home where he could be controlled better. He seems to be at that stage where his safety is becoming a concern and a mentally impaired facility is just around the corner.

Fantastic, corvus! I don't have anything to add to what has already been said except that I haven't seen a story depicting the brittle reality of age better written. Amazing.

I actually never think of that. Obviously Maddy must have considered -- and rejected -- this option when George's symptoms began appearing. I would imagine she wants him to be around as long as possible, before, inevitably, he goes somewhere he can be professionally cared for. I'm actually very glad you brought it up -- it makes me realize that Maddy not only has to deal with the past, but also with the constant knowledge that, someday, she's going to have to take him to a "facility". It's giving me quite a lot of plot bunnies, actually...




Thanks.

Good story.

I was surprised by how pleasant George was. Very often people in the last stages of dementia can get quite volatile as their frustration and feelings of helplessness increase. Of course it isn't universal and it definitely makes George easier to deal with for his family.

Anyway, interesting story

-Kevin