Ok well im confuzed becouse i dont know the difirence between being nice and being flirty i mean i know it but how do u tell? if a guys nice to you and trys to make a conversation with you? is that being nice or hes flerting? wth is the difirence? how do i tell if a guys flirting with me? help!

There's a certain smile and intonation of voice when there's flirting. Touching, especially places like the hands and legs, is an obvious one. If he says something like, "You look nice." Also, if you're the first person he talks to when he enters a room. Winking is another one.

well everytime a guy looks at me or smiles at me my frinds outometecely find it as flertien ro liking me, but im not sure....what u think?

I wouldn't say every time. However, there's usually an indication in their smile and often in their eyes. You just have to learn it.

I guess so, tahnx i apritiate it.

How much eye contact he makes and what he says play a big role too.

Personally, I first try to evaluate the guy's sexuality before I make a judgment about whether or not he's flirting with me. I think I have pretty good gaydar and I can usually tell. So if a guy that doesn't 'ping' is doing something I might interpret as flirty under normal circumstances I usually just write it off as a straight guy being nice. If it's a gay guy doing the same thing I'm more inclined to take it as flirting.

A good example happened to me a few months ago. I walked into a public building and this guy held the door open for me. When I walked by he smiled at me and said, "you smell really nice". Now normally those two things would seem like flirting, but the guy really wasn't setting off my gaydar at all so I took his behaviour to be simply friendly, and therefore merely thanked him and went on about my business. I guess I could be wrong though. Maybe he was a stealth gay, but yeah, in general I try to first decide if I have reason to believe the guy in question is gay/bi before I try to decide if he's flirting or not.

aww thanks alot it means a lot to me that you guys are tring to help me. im understanding more about it. relly thanx guys

"You smell really nice.!

You've got to be joking. I find it completely inconceivable that a straight guy would ever say that to another guy.

I happen to agree with you there. He might have been bisexual but probably not straight.

I beg to differ... What if the 'supposedly straight guy' meant that you smelled nice with the cologne you are wearing?

I have heard straight guys around me telling this to straight guys around them....



BeaStKid

I would have a hard time not interpreting a guy telling me I smell nice as not being flirty-ish. What kind of straight guy comments positively on other guys' smells???

As for my evaluation.... Eye contact and smiles are a big thing. I love getting into those eye-contact matches where the other guy is a bit shy about it and looks away, then looks back... I look away and look back and he's still looking then he realizes it and looks away again.....

I was sharing a hotel room with my best friend Raf (Rafael and hes straight) and a few other people when I took a shower. When I got out Rafa was at the sink and I had a towl on. I went to the sink when he turns to me and says - wow. you smell really good.
So then Marc walks in the bathroom and Raf turns to him and says - he smells really good right?

But all my "straight" guy friends should really be called metro. So . . . yeah.

Don't forget to take cultural differences into account, too. People from different cultural backgrounds will have different ideas about what's appropriate in terms of body language, eye contact, personal space, gestures, etc. In Montreal, for instance, the standard greeting (between a man and a woman, or often between two women) is a double-cheek kiss. It doesn't mean anything more than a handshake would elsewhere, but newcomers and tourists are sometimes taken aback. Also, in some cultures, eye contact is considered impolite or brazen, and people flirt mainly by *lowering* their eyes or *avoiding* eye contact. In other cultures, a lot of touching and hugging is just part of the way people interact, and doesn't have any flirting implications at all.

And of course, a really shy person and a really outgoing person will have different flirting techniques.

hi everybody im new here, sorry if my english is messed up is not my first lenguage, well i join so i could get some opinions about something that happened at work last week, i like a guy, i dont know if he is gay or not, bust i just wanted to start a conversatio with him so i asked a silly question, he smiled at me look me in the eyes and said:" i have no idea, lets find out" he ask a manager and he stood there while i got the answer, when i got what i needed i thanked him, he smiled closed his eyes and nodded, and now everytime i see him he says hi, so, is he flirting or bring nice?

Welcome to GA!

It sounds like he works in sales of some sort. As such, being nice, remembering people and saying hi when he sees them is part of his job. He could be flirting, but you should wait until he's out of the work environment. If he's exactly the same to you and not to other customers when he's not working, then he may be flirting.

I agree with Graeme. Perhaps the best approach would be to go to lunch with him some time. Maybe you can form a friendship with him outside of work. That way you can have a chance to get to know him a lot better. That's simply a good place to start.

thanks for your answers! well he doenst work on sales, we work at the same place as "summer interns" just differents areas,, i dont know how to deal with this! i dont wanna out myself!, but i dont wanna miss the chance to get to know a nice guy

Well he didn't seem gay or bi to me *shrug* I guess I could have been wrong.


Hey dude

Definitely don't miss the chance to get to know someone nice!

There's no reason you have to immediately out yourself though. I suggest following Tim's advice, get to know him outside of work and form a friendship with him. If he is gay or bi you'll be more likely to be able to figure it out if you're friends with him. You'll also be able to get a better feel for how he would react to finding out about your sexuality. Apart from all that, even if he's totally straight, at least you will have made a new friend

I've never had a guy flirt with me. *sigh*

Or at least, never realized it...

My gaydar is whack, I can never tell when someone is flirting with me, and, apparently, I can't even catch hints, subtle or overt. Meh.

Example: I just recently found out that one of my friends had had a huge crush on me when I was in high school. We were pretty good friends and she and I would hang out once in a while. Well, apparently, she told one of my other friends that she had a crush on me, and this other friend kept trying to hint to me that Friend #1 wanted me to ask her out. (Like that'd ever happen! I'm gay! ) Always inviting her and I along to the same event, trying to put us together alone. Always whispering with each other when I was around, and when I would ask what they were talking about, they'd just tell me it was a girl thing, giggle, and start whispering again. And I had absolutely no freakin' clue. Now that I look back on it, Friend #1 was even flirting with me!

ARIAS21229, you are not alone, my friend. Not alone.

Oh guys i apretiate this dearely! im sorry for not replying sooner i have ben relly busy. now that i have sum time. here i would like to thank all of you. XD!!!!!!!!!

Well I think is one of those things that you just have trust your gut and dont hold back, I know is hard but is better to go for it because if you dont you'll end up regreting latter.....trust me on this one, my gayrar is at 99.9% acurate...I've only been wrong once and i said he was straith and he ended up with me for 2 years ....all my exboyfriends have been "straight " before me... or at least that's what they all say......

All you need to do is look at them in the eyes and see what they tell you...well that has always worked for me...the eyes don't lie...just by the way someone looks at you it's easy to tell what they feel, if it's an atraction or just a friendship ....also body lenguage.. if they play with their hands or can't stay steady wile they're with you...or that they look away where there is nothing like looking for something. and when they try to look for a distraction...etc...its soo fun.