But am I really the only one who feels this way ?
Matt is cute, and traumatised, and talented, and confused yadda yadda yadda.

couldn't he at least have been dumb ? *frustrated, jealous grunt*
As it is, I get so annoyed that I stop my own drawings.

And then when I think of how his dumbness / naievity / inexperience led to Ray... I feel so horrible that I'd begrudge him these little things. *blush*

Do you all get touched by a story to such a degree ? How do you deal with that ?

Ok, so I have to be socially concious and mention safe sex every time they kiss, and I have to make one character really, really stupid so that you can feel superior. Anything else? Wait - I have an idea - I'll send you my list of sub-plots and YOU write the story. Then you can have it any way you like.

No? Don't wanna do that?? Good! Cause I don't know what I'd do with all that *free* time if I didn't have a story to write.

Seriously - you have a lot of talent. I know - I've seen some of it. Why in the world you let a fictional character in a 3rd rate story by an author no one's ever heard of make you feel inadequate is beyond me. I love that you identify with them - I do that myself with stories I like - but I made them up, I made them smart and cute and rich and talented and good in bed, I made them be all the things I either wish I was or want someone else to be. Is it realistic? Hell, no. It's not meant to be.

But back to your original question. I don't identify with fictional characters to the degree that it seems you do. My longings, regrets, frustrations, etc are more real-world based.

Well, you hit the nail on the head : I plan too much about the effects and consequences of what I create. I'm learning how to think less *grin*

Also, I feel I should perhaps elaborate on the way I draw : I look for reference photos online, and while I'm working, I'll often check my mail, read a Stonegate chapter during a pause, find some more references...
I guess that that wasn't the brightest thing to do, when I reached Matt's chapter, eh?

I've had this intensity of fiction before --- I remember being thirteen with Marion Zimmer Bradley's Mists of Avalon in a hot summer, but every time I looked up, I was surprised that there weren't grey mists all around.