ok well, me and my best frind were trought a lot of stuf...ups and down lets just say. me and her were unsepritable. but now she changing ever sence she found thoes damn new people to hangout with witch half way is my foult. becouse i intruduced her to a girl tahts mentoly and phisecely f**ked up becouse back then me and her were frinds but now. we arent but my best frind and her are. she changed, she dos weed and soon to do drugs. non stop partying , and idk shes going crazie! she drinks she sneaks out of her home. she's nothing close to what i have known. i find her life style sad. she's so weak she followes the crowd. and copy's others, just so she can feel better about her self. i tried helping her several times but all that ded was get us in fights. but im tired she never listins to me no more, never helpes me with anything. she dont kere how i feel or if im hurting. she's hiding her new "uguely" side from me but i know better then taht i know her better then she or her family know, . i truely cere for her. but i feel like im in a crazie place trind to find her in a big maze. im tired phisecely and imotionely drained. i feel liek giving up...i feel like leting her f**K her self...and ill just be there for her feuneral telling her dead body i told u so.


it hurts me to know what she is duing to her self. what should i do? im scered i dont want her to kill her self like this...how do i show her that her new life style is nothing close to cool, and + shes older then me! dosent she need to have so brains. im so frustrated. I have never experianced this hard in my life. shes so hard headed. and then if i say somethign she goes your olways bitching or i dont wanan talk to you no more. wth? then she slike my new frinds are not ot be trusted she talking as if she knows wth a good frind is, people who give u drugs and alcohol knwoing its hurting u are NOT FRINDS!

any openions on what i need to do?
p.s im sorry if i sound like im pissed im just frustrated so bad taht i cant even right straight.

People change. It's an inevitability of life. The teen years bring a lot of change. She is obviously going through a phase that a lot of teens face. It's a time of rebellion and experimentation. You have obviously taken a different direction in life, and that is for your own good. If she becomes too self-destructive, you will have no choice but to let go at least for a time. She may grow out of it; she may not. If she does, then you can probably rebuild your friendship. If not, it may never be the same. I wish I could say that there's a way to make her change, but there isn't. She has to want to make the changes. We can't fix everything. People have their own beliefs and ways of relating to the world around them. It could be that something happened in her younger years that makes drugs seem like a good escape. In reality, that pain is only numbed for a time. Someday she will hopefully be ready to face her demons and rebuild the bridges she has burned.

eh i guess you are right, i cant make the good desitions for he and i cant change her shes doomed.

She's not necessarily doomed. She may come around eventually. Hopefully she'll grow out of the wild phase. Keep your chin up and think positively. You just have to keep in mind that life isn't always perfect.

I am so sorry to hear about this. It is sad to see the teens go astray. I know I did, and have since found the right path. Sigh!

Arias, I can understand your position, for even I have been there. My almost-like-a-brother-very-good-friend fell pray to these drugs and stuff. Even I tried in vain to help him out. The fact is, if that person doesn't want to be helped, you can do nothing.

In the end, all turned out well and he saw his follies on his own. Although he still smokes and drinks, it is a lot more controlled.

Now, to come to your situation... Try showing her the various diagrams of f**ked up brains that the usual narcotics programmes show. Tell her that this is what her brain would become if she doesn't control herself. Most of the times, it works. If not, I would suggest doing what Tim said. One can help a person only to a certain extent. After that, he/she's on her own.

I hope everything works out for you...

And btw, kudos for choosing the right path and not following the 'others' into the abyss... It takes a lot of will power to not succumb to peer pressure.



BeaStKid

Sounds like my best friend. Before his girlfriend broke up with him he was totally straight edge (no drugs, no alcohol, no sex) and wasn't going to have sex until after marriage. She broke up with him shortly after his 21st birthday, citing lack of attention to her as the reason even though he spent every day with her and every penny he had on her. Since then he parties, he gets drunk, he gets high, he smokes cigarettes, he nails multiple women per week, and it's because I couldn't be there to console him when it happened because we were both away at our respective schools. He does this because his roommates were there and these are the things that they do.

He's also highly religious and homophobic so I'm disinclined to help him. I feel bad for his poor mother though because shes a very sweet lady.

Sorry Lavie, I can't really add much to what the others have said although I do agree with them

I think all you can really do is let her know that you'll be there for her if/when she needs you and unfortunately after that you just have to let her make her own decisions


It is absolutely not your fault, Robbie! Parish the thought immediately! He's an adult and he can make his own decisions, and you're not expected to hold his hand every moment of his life. I know where you're coming from because I've felt that way with friends before myself, but I don't think you're to blame at all!

That IS the reason that it all happened though. He fell into the wrong crowd when he was at his weakest. I don't blame myself at all though. I'm actually kind of happy that it happened because now I can come out on facebook and not give a rat's ass what he thinks.

Thanx guys to all of you! i apretiate you help so much, but well em and her ended it, were nto frinds anymore. were better off seprit.

it was better for everyone.

you guys think i made the right choice?