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Narcidius
Hi guys! I just wanted to you guys' opinion on my first story.

Me, Michael and Music

I don't really know who reads it except for the ones that posted comments. I would really appreaciate any suggestions, comments or even criticism that would come from you guys. smile.gif

And also, i would like you guys' opinions on who you think the main character, Jared, should end up with. I already made a decision... but i would still love to hear your opinions on the matter. Thanks! biggrin.gif
Formosa
Yeah, I agree. What I really love about this story is the simple exchange of dialogue between the characters, the flashbacks and lyrics that effectively and gradually reveal two different romances, one slow and painful to die, and one (I hope) that is so innocently and subtly about to bloom.

Great work! thumbsupsmileyanim.gif
Narcidius
Awwe. thanks you guys! smile.gif That really really means alot to me.
AFriendlyFace
QUOTE (Formosa @ August 15 2006, 11:34 AM) *
Yeah, I agree. What I really love about this story is the simple exchange of dialogue between the characters, the flashbacks and lyrics that effectively and gradually reveal two different romances, one slow and painful to die, and one (I hope) that is so innocently and subtly about to bloom.

Great work! thumbsupsmileyanim.gif

Excellent way to put it Formosa!! I agree this is a teriffic story and I'm dying for more!!

You've done a wonderful job, Lawrence, of making Michael and Jared's relationship seem so deep and powerful, and yet of also showing Kangen's devotion to Jared. You really make the reader go back and forth on who they want Jared to end up with! I'm leaning towards Kangen though. I think Michael blew it and I don't think his excuse is valid enough. Jared's right too: he is toying with Geneva's feelings. Kangen seems like a really sweet guy and I hope he and Jared get together. I'm really impressed with how hard he's tried and how patient he's been!!

Awesome story, I'm looking forward to reading more smile.gif
Kevin
AFriendlyFace
QUOTE (Narcidius @ August 9 2006, 01:11 PM) *
Hi guys! I just wanted to you guys' opinion on my first story.

Me, Michael and Music

I don't really know who reads it except for the ones that posted comments. I would really appreaciate any suggestions, comments or even criticism that would come from you guys. smile.gif

And also, i would like you guys' opinions on who you think the main character, Jared, should end up with. I already made a decision... but i would still love to hear your opinions on the matter. Thanks! biggrin.gif

Kangen!! tongue.gif cap.gif

Michael, while excellently portrayed in a conflicted, complicated light, still seems too scared and immature to be with Jared.

It's a great story! thumbsupsmileyanim.gif

-Kevin
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