http://www.gayauthors.org/eficiton/viewstory.php?sid=152


Remember to drop me a review on the story.



shotouts to my Editors on this story: Matthew and Talonrider.
Artwork by: Birdsofafeather

WOW !! That was powerful dude in fact I'm still trying to dry my eyes (sniff) You are a very talanted writer you know that? When Tommy told him about his parents I lost it and then at the end I totaly lost it heh heh I'm not kidding dude that was a powerful story.

Devin, that was probably the most beautiful story I've ever read. It was so powerful and sad, but it also showed the unselfish and giving side of people that we never hear about. Jacob is easily my new favorite character of all time. If there's any justice in the world, you'll be hosted here shortly......you deserve it more than anyone I've seen in a long time

I'm still very surprised by the feedback, thanks guys. I've gotten a number of PMs as well from people who read the story. Though I think those of you who said you were crying are exaggerating a bit.

LOL, I don't think they're exaggerating at all! I already told you what I thought, but I wanted to post it here too


I absolutely loved the concept! I think it's a normal human desire to want to take away the pain of those around us (especially the people we really care about) and deal with it ourselves. It's like when people say, "If there was only something I could do to fix I would". So in some regards Jacob is indeed very fortunate. Of course it was also a very serious responsibility. He felt obligated to do it.

It was also amazing and touching how Chris seemed to understand what was happening and tried to stop Jacob. He must have realized after Jacob healed him at the last basketball game. The scene with Tommy was also very moving. I felt so badly for him. It must have been awful to be in the hospital in that condition and to know that your parents were dead, and that you'd been in the vehicle that had killed them.

Jacob's touching sacrifice was really heart-warming! I also liked how he you described the process as making him feel better on the inside, almost euphoric. To me that implied that Jacob was indeed following his destiny, and that despite all the pain and suffering he was taking on himself perhaps on some level he was happier for it.

I also loved how the first and last sentence were the same. I love that writing device and it always makes things seem more moving to me. Excellent job, Devin!

Have an awesome day and take care!
Kevin

P.S. You did a GREAT job and I'm looking forward to reading more of your work!!

No way dude....it was that good


I agree

But it did have it's moments.

Nick, and anyone else, if you want to read something with some power, check out, Bonds of Blood and Tears - By Sterling. It's hosted at The Talon House. I'd also keep a box of tissues handy.

Jan

Hi, Empathy! I like the way you used the same sentence in the beginning as well as the ending of the chapter. And the concept of the story is kinda interesting so I'm definitely gonna be waiting for the next chapter.

Thanks for the reply, but you might want to read the ending again. There won't be any other chapters.

That was a really incredible story ... very, very touching.

LB

thank you

The theme of conservation of pain and the notion of a person compelled to absorb the pain of others are both very popular. Writing in this vein puts you in a goldfish bowl. You did good! The story flows well and goes where it needs to go. I had hoped that Jacob could survive, but knew that he could not. Tragedy worth its name is like that. Nice job. (sniff)

Edit: The graphic by Birdsofafeather is beautiful, and it looks even better in your logo!

I now understand the meaning the word “Empathy”.

The story is absolutely amazing.

Hugs,
Michael.

~hops around from foot to foot~ Aaaaaaahhhhhh!!!!!!! I liked it!!!!!!!!!!!

Very very very nice! I won't say it made me cry, but it did make me all teary eyed, hehe. I greatly enjoyed it, as is definitely obvious by now.

However.... I am torn.

The story was written in a very nice, quite powerful narrative style. I don't know if I would have liked to see it written in a longer, drawn out, and more detailed form than the clean cut, concise, to the point way it is now. Both methods have their merits, I suppose, and the wonderful little first=last sentence device could still be used quite effectively (if not even more so) if the story was longer.... I just can't decide if I want more detail, more STORY, or if it's perfect the way it is.

I think it's mostly the post story finishing blues... wanting too much of a good thing, you know? I don't know if it would have the same oomph as a longer story. As it is, the style it's written in is powerful enough to kind of knock the reader back a step or two and elicit a "whoa". It also allows the reader to sort of fantasize, fill in the blanks of the story with their own imaginitive possibilities.

REALLY enjoyed this one, and I rarely read gay much online fiction anymore. GREAT job, and I'm going to have to check out your other work sometime in the near future.

Posting this here as well;

I've been getting a lot of e-mails about this so just wanted to make it clear. Yes! The Jacob from Bad Seed is also the same Jacob from Angel Among Them. And not to spoil things anyfurther for those who haven't yet read Angel Among them but if you continue to read Bad Seed I think everyone will understand how it's possible.