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[Luc] Lightning on the Water by Luc


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20 replies to this topic

#1

C James

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Posted 12 July 2007 - 05:46 AM

Discuss Luc's story "Lightning on the Water", in this thread. :)




Spoilers below!!!





Spoilers below!!!





Spoilers below!!!


cirbanner400.jpg"And we all know that CJ doesn't use cliffhangers"~ Tallonrider 11-10-08
"CJ, you're a lurker, you never use cliffhangers, and you'd never use blackmail." ~Wildone 10-03-07
"We all know that CJ is neither a cruel author nor does he leave cliffhangers." ~ Clydee 3-23-11
"CJ doesn't use cliff hangers." ~ Low Flyer 3-23-11


#2

Graeme

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Posted 14 July 2007 - 06:28 AM

A tale of broken love, shattered dreams, and painful memories. :(

Kevin thought he had a great life, until he found Matthew in bed with another guy. Ten years together -- ended.

I really felt the pain of both characters in this story -- Luc has done an excellent job of showing how each character remembers and regrets. Naturally, Kevin was the one who showed the most hurt. The pause where Matthew mentioned that Jason was at home was poignant. More than anything else, that showed me the depth of their previous relationship -- Kevin was upset simply because he thought Matthew was no longer calling the house on the island "home". But Matthew was hurting too. Almost every time the story focused on Matthew's thoughts, they were of fond memories or painful regrets for what he had done. The point where Matthew noticed that their bed was no longer in the bedroom was especially painful.

The explanation of what had happened, and why, was very believable. It only takes a moment or a single error of judgment to fall, and that's what happened. Kevin's reaction, in kicking out Matthew, was understandable, but I wonder if the time between that event, and the time of the story was what made the difference in Kevin finally being able to accept that a mistake had been made, and then deciding that maybe it was possible to forgive.

The ending was simply beautiful. Sometimes, "No" is the sweetest word you can hear... :wub:
There are three types of people in the world - those that understand binary and those that don't.

My latest story: Leopard Skin Cover

#3

sat8997

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Posted 15 July 2007 - 09:38 AM

Everything you write is so beautifully full of emotions. Made me all weepy - damn you.

Sharon
Sharon
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Vive bene, spesso l'amore, di risata molto.
Cloud nine gets all the publicity, but cloud eight actually is cheaper, less crowded, and has a better view. George Carlin

#4

Camy

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Posted 15 July 2007 - 11:25 AM

So, so glad for your choice of ending. Beautifully drawn, the storm surrounded me as I read.

Thank you,

Camy

Algy's Peril

"There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: Music and Cats."
Albert Schweitzer


#5

NickolasJames8

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Posted 15 July 2007 - 01:05 PM

Thanks for this story, Luc. As always, you wrote a beautiful tale. This time it's love seemingy lost but found all over again. Thank God for the rain storm. Hopefully Kevin and Matthew are going to be able to continue to heal and Kevin's forgiveness makes them a stronger couple.

#6

viv

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Posted 15 July 2007 - 02:12 PM

Umm...Luc?

I'm REAL glad your hand got better :wub:

Hugs, Viv :hug:
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#7

C James

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Posted 15 July 2007 - 04:12 PM

The ending came as a surprise, a very pleasant one. Beautifully done, Luc!

CJ


cirbanner400.jpg"And we all know that CJ doesn't use cliffhangers"~ Tallonrider 11-10-08
"CJ, you're a lurker, you never use cliffhangers, and you'd never use blackmail." ~Wildone 10-03-07
"We all know that CJ is neither a cruel author nor does he leave cliffhangers." ~ Clydee 3-23-11
"CJ doesn't use cliff hangers." ~ Low Flyer 3-23-11


#8

shadowgod

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Posted 15 July 2007 - 06:16 PM

I'm a big sappy romantic... a condition you highlighted as a simple word produced a very tactile sensation rolling through my shoulders, accentuated with an equally adoring set of misty eyes.

Thank you Luc :worship: :wub:

Steve

#9

eliotmoore

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Posted 15 July 2007 - 10:08 PM

Very nicely crafted. I appreciated it very much.
:D
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#10

Matthew

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Posted 16 July 2007 - 12:53 AM

Simply awesome.
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#11

Conner

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Posted 20 July 2007 - 05:34 PM

Wow! What a tale! Beautifully written!

:worship:

I always find it difficult to read stories of betrayal by a loved one, someone you trusted. I feel like I'm on a rack being stretched in every direction. It's unbearable pain, coming from your very core.

I think you should have added a caution to this story. Something like this...

Be forewarned! Your heart is about to be ripped from your chest! Have chocolate handy. Plan for some recovery time.

Conner :(

Humour is the shortest distance between two people.


#12

SonoLuminus

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Posted 20 July 2007 - 05:45 PM

I thought it was moving and very well written.

And you quoted Yaz! :wub:
My GA debut: Scenes From Hugo
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#13

BeaStKid

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Posted 24 July 2007 - 05:44 AM

:worship: :worship: :worship: :worship: :worship: :worship:

Beautiful, touching, poignant tale. You've done a marvellous job in projecting the emotional turmoil the couple goes through. Loved it right till the end.

Thanks for giving us this story!!

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#14

Ieshwar

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Posted 25 July 2007 - 11:48 AM

Hi Luc,

That was… MAGIC!

It’s the first time that after reading a story, I was panting. Perhaps, coz I had been holding my breath or just an accumulation of the emotions. This story is simply superb, Luc. Every sentence, every word made me feel and perhaps cry too. It was great. I’m relieved that you chose a happy ending, or else, I would have been heart-broken. They were certainly made for each other.

I got a question: When you write, do you write straightaway, I mean, does words come automatically? Or do you spend an amount of time pondering over the characters, their emotions and looking for words fitting each emotion and scene?

A story that touches your heart directly!

Ieshwar

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#15

yaalc

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Posted 27 July 2007 - 03:18 PM

Be forewarned! Your heart is about to be ripped from your chest! Have chocolate handy. Plan for some recovery time.


This would have been a great idea as I chose to read this at work. It's hard to hide your tears when you're on display in a cube.

Wonderful story Luc! Iwas spellbound by the imagery. The feelings and raw emotion were almost overwhelming. Even though it had a happy ending I was left feeling bittersweet.

I loved the location! Where can I buy a house on an island?

:worship: :worship: :worship: :worship: :worship:

#16

BeaStKid

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Posted 27 July 2007 - 06:38 PM

I loved the location! Where can I buy a house on an island?

Ever read Enid Blyton's Famous Five series?? A girl name Georgina (prefers to be called George) inherited an island from her mother which had ruins of a castle and beautiful caves on it....Ever since reading that, I've wanted an island of my own!!!

LOL

The BeaStKid

"It is better to be hated for who you are than to be loved for what you are not."

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#17

Luc

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Posted 01 August 2007 - 01:00 AM

I’m glad you all enjoyed the story. I can’t say that enough—either enough times or with strong enough words—to make you know how much I really mean that. I do not consider myself to be a great writer. I sometimes think I am a good writer. I have moments when I think my writing sucks and is at best trite. I try to ignore those moments and keep writing anyway, because I really enjoy writing. I enjoy the brief (because I do tend to write short things, mostly because my attention span can be questionable) sojourn into a different reality.

You know what thrills the hell out of me? I looked at the ages of everyone who made a comment in this thread and they are all over the place. That is so wonderful! I tend to think that my writing appeals more to a slightly older reader—mostly, I think, because I don’t write a lot (if any) stories with high school or college age characters. People do tend to read and enjoy things they can project themselves into. I know I do. So when I see a wide range of ages reading and enjoying my work, it makes me think that maybe I have written something that touches emotions that are universal and not limited to a specific age group. So yeah…”thrills the hell out of me” is exactly the right phrase.

Ieshwar asked a question:

I got a question: When you write, do you write straightaway, I mean, does words come automatically? Or do you spend an amount of time pondering over the characters, their emotions and looking for words fitting each emotion and scene?

Ieshwar


This is actually a difficult question to answer. The quick and easy answer is “yes.” Which means, yes, I do all those things. Not always with every story though.

I would have to say that I usually spend time with the characters. I think about them. I think of who they are, what they are like. I don’t do this while sitting at my computer writing. I do this while doing other things. A lot of times I do this as I am trying to fall asleep. The process is really just stepping inside of them and putting them into different situations (which may not actually be in the story) and seeing how they react. I get inside their heads. For the time that they occupy my thoughts, we are the same person. I spent most my childhood living in pretend worlds in my head. Getting into a character is pretty natural for me. It is a form of recreation.

So…do the words come automatically when I write? Sometimes. I try to know my characters so well that I think their thoughts. They don’t think mine; I think theirs. So sometimes the words just come out without a great deal of effort. That is in the first draft. THEN I go back and agonize—because yes, I do get obsessive and anal retentive—over whether the words I have used are the words that best convey what the character is feeling and thinking. I will sometimes change one word an amazing number of times until it feels right. Rob, aka “He who points out things” helps with that. He will catch moments where I have not quite gotten the feeling across. Seems he almost always knows what I am meaning to convey, or at least knows when I have not conveyed what he believes I meant to. But really, *gets a maniacal look* my thesaurus and I are close, very close. Language is so subtle, really. So many words that mean the same thing but don’t really mean the same thing at all.

The degree of agonizing over words varies with the story. I will say that “Lightning on the Water” came out pretty much straight through, with only a few adjustments after the first draft. I think that was because I have been in that emotional situation, from both sides, and just wrote from my own heart. But still, always in the back of my mind was the individuality of each character, Kevin and Matthew. They are NOT me, but I know them as well as I do myself, so their words came out as their own, even though they were based on my feelings—if that makes any sense.

And not that anyone has asked…but since I am babbling anyway… I usually don’t “plan” my stories that thoroughly. I make notes—which sometimes do end up being longer than the stories—in which I explore various thoughts I have for “moments” in the story and sometimes form a nebulous (very, very loosely constructed) plan for where I want things to go. I usually have the end in mind from the beginning, though. I have almost always written the end first. I guess to me it is important to know where I am going. I figure out how to get there as I go along.

But sometimes I just sit down and start writing and a story comes out—from start to finish, no notes, no planning. That actually is how Interlude happened. I sat down and started writing. You would think, given the back and forth nature of that story, that I would have made a plan. But except to do the research on the Plague, that whole story came out from start to finish in order. My final story wasn’t much different from the first draft. It probably would have been improved by a “plan,” and I have thought of doing a more “thought out” rewrite of it, except I can’t. It would feel like a betrayal of those characters. *laughs* Yes, that is a bit sick. But even more so than the characters in my other stories, those characters are very real to me and their lives are as they are.

Babble, babble, babble… Never ask me a question because I will answer you. And I don’t think I will EVER be able to manage a one-word answer. Do you know how HARD it was to let “Lighting on the Water” end with Kevin saying just that one word? I had to bite my fingers.

And by and by my Soul returned to me,
And answered “I Myself am Heav’n and Hell”
- Omar Khayyam

I'm a review/feedback whore. I will "do things" if you read . my stories and tell me what you think
Especially if you post something in my discussion forums..
(...ok, maybe I won't actually "do things" because Mark would not like that...but I'll be very appreciative and pleasant and... ok, will shut up now.)



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#18

Conner

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Posted 02 August 2007 - 02:18 PM

Thanks for that, Luc! :D A lot of authors tend to be somewhat glib when it comes to describing their creative process. So, yeah, thanks for that wee trip inside your head.

Thanks to Ieshwar for asking the question. :2thumbs:

Btw, Luc, another reason to continue writing is that we (your fans) would have to stalk you if you stopped. You don't want that, do you? :P

Think of it in terms of the Eagles' song 'Hotel California'.....you can check out any time you want, but you can never leave.

:wub:

Conner

Humour is the shortest distance between two people.


#19

Graeme

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Posted 02 August 2007 - 03:32 PM

The degree of agonizing over words varies with the story. I will say that “Lightning on the Water” came out pretty much straight through, with only a few adjustments after the first draft. I think that was because I have been in that emotional situation, from both sides, and just wrote from my own heart. But still, always in the back of my mind was the individuality of each character, Kevin and Matthew. They are NOT me, but I know them as well as I do myself, so their words came out as their own, even though they were based on my feelings—if that makes any sense.

I've found that often the stories that just flow out are the most powerful, because you have a vision of what is happening and all you do is frantically type to put that vision into words as fast as you can. Lightning on the Water is a fantastic example of that. The emotions are just so real and raw.

Babble, babble, babble… Never ask me a question because I will answer you. And I don’t think I will EVER be able to manage a one-word answer. Do you know how HARD it was to let “Lighting on the Water” end with Kevin saying just that one word? I had to bite my fingers.

:P And I'm so glad you did. I hope the fingers are okay now....
There are three types of people in the world - those that understand binary and those that don't.

My latest story: Leopard Skin Cover

#20

Krista

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Posted 04 August 2007 - 10:46 PM

Hey Luc,


Well wow this story is just something complete and refreshing, raw, and real. Some parts of the story had me sitting amazed at how alive and visioned the thoughts, feelings, and what they saw and such. I always take a second to read over something in a story that I liked and I had to stop and re-read some of your paragraphs a couple of times before moving on. :)

You get the sense that you somehow understand love better after reading the story.

It's just a great story that had me thinking that more people should find love exactly the same way. Even if it was surrounded by tradgedies and memories neither character would want to remember.


I said I was going to read it and shew I'm disappointed I hadn't started sooner.. :) :wub:


Krista

#21

hjm2001

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Posted 16 August 2007 - 03:15 AM

Is it kind of bad that I didn't expect/want them to end up back together, that is to say IF they eventually do end up back together. As we all know that reconciliations, though the favored outcome don't always work out, especially if Kevin had started to see the changes in their individual personalities, goals, and directions in life. Sometimes people just grow apart without noticing it, and maybe after this event Kevin found that he needed to find dependence in himself rather than others, to lead his life. Either way regardless of the outcome, this story was great, I love it when you can feel the emotion portrayed through the characters.