[FrenchCanadian] Rashomon Effect

[FrenchCanadian]

Here you go you can all read my new series.. it has 5 parts and will be uploaded one part every friday...

 

you can catch chapter 1: Jake

 

lets open the discussion...

[Tiger]

That was an good chapter, Sacha. I found it particularly interesting what they brought to school.

[Tiff]

I really liked this, it's a great start.

 

I can kind of sense where this will be going, as perhaps that was your intent; to give us hints. I like those hints, like Nathan heard something weird that made him freak out, but he couldn't be sure. Or the boy who didn't answer, and then the pain.

 

For a chapter that doesn't have too much action, it has a really amazing hook, and I definitely want to read more and find out what's going on.

 

Yay for the next post!

[scoopny]

I really liked this, it's a great start.

 

I can kind of sense where this will be going, as perhaps that was your intent; to give us hints. I like those hints, like Nathan heard something weird that made him freak out, but he couldn't be sure. Or the boy who didn't answer, and then the pain.

 

For a chapter that doesn't have too much action, it has a really amazing hook, and I definitely want to read more and find out what's going on.

 

Yay for the next post!

 

Yeah I really liked the hook of this story as well, because it promises to reveal more details of what happened that day at the school as we see the perspective of different people in the story. There are things you want to know more about and you want to learn more about the characters.

[Rakuten06]

FrenchCanadian, that is a good start to the story, I love Chapter 1 as you began the story off with a sex scene as you did in the previous story. I was captivated by the scene until the hit made me think different like making me say to myself, "What happened?" or "Who did it??" as I know this will turn into a maybe "whodunnit" story without the murders, only the attack in the school.

[Drewbie]

That was an good chapter, Sacha. I found it particularly interesting what they brought to school.

 

He left that item in his bag from last time.

 

Good way to show how the day evolved, poor boy, wonder why he decided to shoot him, after Jake was trying to be nice?

 

if it was him that shot him.

 

Looking foward to chapter 2

[FrenchCanadian]

That was an good chapter, Sacha. I found it particularly interesting what they brought to school.

 

Thanks Tiger! and yes,, always have one on you,,,

 

I really liked this, it's a great start.

 

I can kind of sense where this will be going, as perhaps that was your intent; to give us hints. I like those hints, like Nathan heard something weird that made him freak out, but he couldn't be sure. Or the boy who didn't answer, and then the pain.

 

For a chapter that doesn't have too much action, it has a really amazing hook, and I definitely want to read more and find out what's going on.

 

Yay for the next post!

 

Thanks Tiff, actually, there's one, maybe two, little 'hints' that you haven't yet mention,

 

FrenchCanadian, that is a good start to the story, I love Chapter 1 as you began the story off with a sex scene as you did in the previous story. I was captivated by the scene until the hit made me think different like making me say to myself, "What happened?" or "Who did it??" as I know this will turn into a maybe "whodunnit" story without the murders, only the attack in the school.

 

Thank Rakuten,,, glad that you enjoyed the sex scene,,, 'cause it's the biggest of the story

 

He left that item in his bag from last time.

 

Good way to show how the day evolved, poor boy, wonder why he decided to shoot him, after Jake was trying to be nice?

 

if it was him that shot him.

 

Looking foward to chapter 2

 

Thanks Drewbie!

 

you all will see what happen next on friday!! This time around, you'll be read about Nathan,, and maybe you'll realize that things are not what they seemed like on the first read.

[moonwolf]

You took one of my line, "hey that's my job" that had Jason trademark written all over it.

 

Nice start Sacha, I love the way you've written it and the way you keep us hungry for next friday

 

Jason aka Moonwolf aka the guy without a left earlobe

[FrenchCanadian]

You took one of my line, "hey that's my job" that had Jason trademark written all over it.

 

Nice start Sacha, I love the way you've written it and the way you keep us hungry for next friday

 

Jason aka Moonwolf aka the guy without a left earlobe

 

hehe, what?!? it's just fun to incorporate little trade mark lines

[FrenchCanadian]

Everyone the second part : Nathan is now released for you to go read,,, here

 

Enjoy!!!!!

 

next chapter next friday!

[Benji]

Everyone the second part : Nathan is now released for you to go read,,, here

 

Enjoy!!!!!

 

next chapter next friday!

 

 

..............Good story so far,

I'm sure the fallen cafeteria guy is probably the shooter

it was nice you left little cliffies at each end

[moonwolf]

Nice chapter Sacha, I liked the way you changed the POV, it's interesting to see all those different views.

 

and hun who's who ? nathan is you one minute and then you're Jake

 

Jason aka Moonwolf

[Drewbie]

Forgot it's up

 

going to in a few.

 

EDIT

 

I agree with Benji who the shooter is. Jake must be horrified to hear your boyfriend/friend got shot, im thinking sandra will be helpful to nathan.

Edited April 19, 2008 by Drewbie

[Rakuten06]

This chapter completely changes what I think about your writing style, like you bringing the darker side to the story to make it look like it may be a "whodunnit" story to see who is the shooter. I haven't guessed that much since I saw the "The Big Gay Sketch Show" which features "Who did Svetlana Shoot?" lol...

[FrenchCanadian]

..............Good story so far,

I'm sure the fallen cafeteria guy is probably the shooter

it was nice you left little cliffies at each end

I agree with Benji who the shooter is. Jake must be horrified to hear your boyfriend/friend got shot, im thinking sandra will be helpful to nathan.

 

I won't say on either way, but I'll say that the shooter has indeed been seen in the first 2 chapters,, and I'll be more impressed if you can guess the less obvious time but both of you has good theory.

 

This chapter completely changes what I think about your writing style, like you bringing the darker side to the story to make it look like it may be a "whodunnit" story to see who is the shooter. I haven't guessed that much since I saw the "The Big Gay Sketch Show" which features "Who did Svetlana Shoot?" lol...

 

Thanks!

 

btw, this coming friday you'll read with Timothy's POV...

[scoopny]

This chapter completely changes what I think about your writing style, like you bringing the darker side to the story to make it look like it may be a "whodunnit" story to see who is the shooter. I haven't guessed that much since I saw the "The Big Gay Sketch Show" which features "Who did Svetlana Shoot?" lol...

 

I definitely agree with this. You get the feeling reading the first two chapters and that the author will be exploring more complexities as the story continues, that not everything is as it appears on the surface. I don't see it as a whodunnit in the traditional sense. I see it was a "why did this tragedy happen" story and how did this tragedy affect the lives of the people in this school.

[FrenchCanadian]

T.G.I.F. is back again and with it comes another chapter of the story,,, available to read Part 3 : Timothy

 

As always, feel please to leave your comments!

[Drewbie]

Really do like having different prospectives, Tim like a counselor? Damien defends Noa yea proably not the best thing to punch him shawn, but could see he wanted to prove a fag could defend himself.

 

I'm thinking that Tim might be helping out with Nathan, caught on that he almost instantly what Jake meant to Nathan.

 

Omg Jake, Nathan.

Edited April 26, 2008 by Drewbie

[scoopny]

I liked this chapter provided a whole new perspective to the story, definitely one of my favorite chapter. Timothy really knows his students well and I was impressed about the way Timothy handled Nathan and how Nathan really did want to talk about his relationship. I wonder if Nathan wanted to say something earlier.

 

Also I like how Timothy wasn't perfect, human when he got a little mad at Nancy, he probably shouldn't have, but sometimes you can't like every student equally. Sometimes people just rub you the wrong way.

Edited April 28, 2008 by scoopny

[Rakuten06]

Wow, this side of the story almost made me cry when I heard that Jake died on the way to the hospital, but I'm impressed that Nancy accepted Nathan's talk of the relationship, so it left me pondering if I want to read more because of death always pains me....

[scoopny]

I too am digging the different perspectives. Today's chapter is no different, this time we get a glimpse of Nancy, who is something of a witch, isn't she? You wonder what drives her to do what she does, does she feel insecure deep down inside?

[Rakuten06]

Yeah, it's a first time that I will see inside of a cheerleader sho will gossip at all times, but a problem is that she wants 15 minutes of fame and the shooting gives her the opportunity to do it in hope to become a emmy-winner actress. I can't wait to read the next and last chapter, Chapter 5! I wonder what Chapter 5 will be in which point-of-view...

[Drewbie]

Ugh, just to get on tv, she never cared for him at all. I'd be happy to learn if she finds out about Nathan and Jake.

 

Next chapter might be from jake's parents or the shooter pov.

Edited May 3, 2008 by Drewbie

[FrenchCanadian]

For those that haven't realized,, Chapter 4 : Nancy is there to be read

 

I too am digging the different perspectives. Today's chapter is no different, this time we get a glimpse of Nancy, who is something of a witch, isn't she? You wonder what drives her to do what she does, does she feel insecure deep down inside?

 

Oh she's simply a bitch quite simple, she thinks only about her own self. She's the kind of girl that couldn't care less about the feeling of the others. On the contrary, she's not insecure, quite the opposite, she's full of herself. In her mind, she's the best, the one and only one and every one else should bend over or bow when she walks by.

 

Yeah, it's a first time that I will see inside of a cheerleader sho will gossip at all times, but a problem is that she wants 15 minutes of fame and the shooting gives her the opportunity to do it in hope to become a emmy-winner actress. I can't wait to read the next and last chapter, Chapter 5! I wonder what Chapter 5 will be in which point-of-view...

 

And she didn't mind lying to get it done either! anything that would make her more 'powerful'.

 

I can tell you already, Chapter 5 will be about Damien and it will indeed conclude the story

[Tiger]

I just got caught up with this one. It's a good story so far. It is a little disturbing. School shootings are a serious problem these days, yet some people seem to be numb. Sacha, I must give you props for writing. The story is well done, and you should definitely be proud!