Last Goodbye

[Meeko]

This is the discussion thread for my new series, Last Goodbye.

 

You may now read the Prolouge and Chapter 1 Here

 

Please feel free to leave all forms of criticism here or PM me, thanks.

 

-Mike

[David McLeod]

Meeko and World: Ethics rules prohibit an editor from reviewing any thing he/she has edited. So, no review. But for the rest of the world: Meeko has created an incredible story, with characters who will tug--no, rip--your heartstrings. Don't read this unless you are alone with a box of Kleenex, or with someone you love.

[Conner]

Meeko and World: Ethics rules prohibit an editor from reviewing any thing he/she has edited. So, no review. But for the rest of the world: Meeko has created an incredible story, with characters who will tug--no, rip--your heartstrings. Don't read this unless you are alone with a box of Kleenex, or with someone you love.

 

 

Who could possibly resist that review...uhh...I mean summary.

[Verm]

I agree, from the prologue I've already had my heart ripped out, and when I continued reading with the first chapter, I held my heart in my hand and stabbed it with a spork.

 

It was THAT painful. And, come on, a dog?! I wanted to slap her into oblivion after that remark.

 

But it's going on good at the moment, and the whole plot intrigues me. I'm looking forward to the next installment!

[Meeko]

I agree, from the prologue I've already had my heart ripped out, and when I continued reading with the first chapter, I held my heart in my hand and stabbed it with a spork.

 

It was THAT painful. And, come on, a dog?! I wanted to slap her into oblivion after that remark.

 

But it's going on good at the moment, and the whole plot intrigues me. I'm looking forward to the next installment!

 

 

I'm sorry I caused you to rip your heart out, but I

[Verm]

lol no worries, apparently I like it when authors toy with my emotions.

 

*points accusingly at Libby Drew, Duncan Ryder and a few others who shall be unnamed (for now)*

 

I'm such a glutton for emotional punishment. Must be closet masochism inside.

 

I hope things work out for Joshie though. Which is weird coming from me, as I almost never wish a fictional character well. Damn, you're good.

[Meeko]

Chapter 2 has now been posted in Efiction.

 

I am planning on posting a new chapter every week, so keep an eye out for it.

 

Happy Reading!

-Mike

[hh5]

The Hayse family seems to be a bit weird. Pretty much intimidating to Joshie.

Losing some one is hard but opening up to complete strangers is even harder.

[wildone]

Meeko,

 

I was excited when I saw the announcement of the prologue and Chapter 1, as I read it back when you first posted it in the Sneak Peak section.

 

After reading it again, I was even more hooked. Unfortunately I was having bad thoughts about you on why the second chapter wasn't posted, as I've been waiting for it for a while .

 

Now you are in my good books again, since you gave us the next chapter so quickly .

 

I really enjoyed what you set up in the first two installments, so I'm really looking forward to chapter two.

 

I'm off to , and will comment more when done.

 

Steve

 

(who has put Meeko back up on his deserved pedestal )

[Conner]

OMG!!! Something happy happened at the end of chapter 2.

 

David must have missed that.

 

Ok, so Darren has henchmen, armed henchmen. Curious, I must say. I'm wondering if Will might have been involved with Darren and whatever Darren calls "work" (or did he say "job")? And that question leads me to another, was Will murdered? Gulp!

 

Ok, you can post chapter 3 anytime.

 

Conner

[Meeko]

Chapter 3 Has now been posted on Efiction.

 

This one is a little early because I may not get the chance to post this weekend due to some family issues.

 

Enjoy the chapter everyone.

 

-Mike

[Verm]

The ending of chapter 3 made me all choked up again. Just when I thought the emotions were finally getting better, you pulled it off again. You're evil, but I like it.

[Zeoanne]

I agree, from the prologue I've already had my heart ripped out, and when I continued reading with the first chapter, I held my heart in my hand and stabbed it with a spork.

 

It was THAT painful. And, come on, a dog?! I wanted to slap her into oblivion after that remark.

 

But it's going on good at the moment, and the whole plot intrigues me. I'm looking forward to the next installment!

 

 

I totally agree with you Verm. It was indeed an insult about her dog. I know firsthand what it feels like to loose a sibling. My sister died when I was 15, a year younger than Josh and when I read her feelings about her dog I couldn't believe it! I, like you, wanted to reach inside the monitor and slap her senceless. Even today at my age it affects me when ever June 7th comes along. She had just turned 20 yrs. 8 days prior. So, my heart definitely goes out to dear Joshua!!

So far I'm enjoying the story and wondering what Eddie's future is holding for him and his croons seeing how Darren's "commando" reacts when danger is present.

[Meeko]

OMG!!! Something happy happened at the end of chapter 2.

 

David must have missed that.

 

Ok, so Darren has henchmen, armed henchmen. Curious, I must say. I'm wondering if Will might have been involved with Darren and whatever Darren calls "work" (or did he say "job")? And that question leads me to another, was Will murdered? Gulp!

 

Ok, you can post chapter 3 anytime.

 

Conner

 

Hey Conner

 

Yes it did end on a happy note, it's not that much of a shocker now is it?

 

So many questions, I can't answer. But I will say that the next chapter will answer a few of those questions, and the rest over time, so be patient.

 

 

 

The ending of chapter 3 made me all choked up again. Just when I thought the emotions were finally getting better, you pulled it off again. You're evil, but I like it.

 

Hey I'm not evil! that's Shadowgod's job, shesh! Glad you're liking it though.

 

 

I totally agree with you Verm. It was indeed an insult about her dog. I know firsthand what it feels like to loose a sibling. My sister died when I was 15, a year younger than Josh and when I read her feelings about her dog I couldn't believe it! I, like you, wanted to reach inside the monitor and slap her senceless. Even today at my age it affects me when ever June 7th comes along. She had just turned 20 yrs. 8 days prior. So, my heart definitely goes out to dear Joshua!!

So far I'm enjoying the story and wondering what Eddie's future is holding for him and his croons seeing how Darren's "commando" reacts when danger is present.

 

 

It's funny because I have actually witness this happening on a firsthand experience and thought it would be perfect for the story. It helps to show all the difference types of people in the world, who of which are actually just like that. Really it could go both ways, maybe her dog was the closest thing she had, I mean in many cases one's pet is like their own child. But in this particular situation that is not the case at all.

 

I'm, glad you

[Tiff]

Well, Mikey, you know I've loved this story from the beginning. Like others have said, you add a certain lightheartedness and fun to Josh's life, but then bring all the emotion back once he's alone. I guess it just shows how hard he is trying to be strong and get through his day, but it always comes back to haunt him. The ending of chapter 3 was sad, drawing Will, someone he loves so much, coloring in the eyes...and then crying when it became too much.

 

Back to the rest of the chapter: it's nice that Jayce is making such a great effort, although it's hard for Josh to appreciate it initially. It seems he's trying to close himself off, but that's natural with the way he was suddenly uprooted from his home and the memories of Will. Pretty natural reaction actually.

 

BTW, I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE Trent. He's a great character. Reminds me of a goofy someone, ahem. Sitting on Josh's lap? Had me cracking up. And it was nice of Trent to help Josh out. I really something happens between them, but if not that, maybe a good friendship?

 

Can't wait for chapter 4! WHOOHOO!

[Meeko]

Well, Mikey, you know I've loved this story from the beginning. Like others have said, you add a certain lightheartedness and fun to Josh's life, but then bring all the emotion back once he's alone. I guess it just shows how hard he is trying to be strong and get through his day, but it always comes back to haunt him. The ending of chapter 3 was sad, drawing Will, someone he loves so much, coloring in the eyes...and then crying when it became too much.

 

Back to the rest of the chapter: it's nice that Jayce is making such a great effort, although it's hard for Josh to appreciate it initially. It seems he's trying to close himself off, but that's natural with the way he was suddenly uprooted from his home and the memories of Will. Pretty natural reaction actually.

 

BTW, I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE Trent. He's a great character. Reminds me of a goofy someone, ahem. Sitting on Josh's lap? Had me cracking up. And it was nice of Trent to help Josh out. I really something happens between them, but if not that, maybe a good friendship?

 

Can't wait for chapter 4! WHOOHOO!

 

 

Hey Tiff

I like each of the characters for the reason that each one brings something to the story. But I

[Meeko]

Like I promised, I give you Chapter 4 which has now been posted on efiction.

 

Happy reading all, and remember I welcome and encourage all forms of criticism.

 

-Mike

[J_Ross]

I only just started this, but I'm dropping by after just the prologue.

 

And Jesus H. This is not at all what I was expecting. I realize that you told us about the loss of his brother in the summary, but... I didn't technically read that until afterwards, so I missed it. Anyway, I figured from the title that it would be sad, but... I wasn't expecting this. I'm rambling uselessly. I just wanted to say that I'm really enjoying it and can't wait to read more. Such a short prologue and I already feel hopelssly hooked. Here's hoping you don't completely shatter my heart with this one.

 

*runs off to read*

[Benji]

Meeko I love this story, I like a great mystery and this one is a beaut. You have Josh still wandering around in a daze, the aftermath of his brothers death is leaving Josh in a world that is surreal, haunting, yet filled with impending doom scenario. Very gripping story!!

[Meeko]

I only just started this, but I'm dropping by after just the prologue.

 

And Jesus H. This is not at all what I was expecting. I realize that you told us about the loss of his brother in the summary, but... I didn't technically read that until afterwards, so I missed it. Anyway, I figured from the title that it would be sad, but... I wasn't expecting this. I'm rambling uselessly. I just wanted to say that I'm really enjoying it and can't wait to read more. Such a short prologue and I already feel hopelssly hooked. Here's hoping you don't completely shatter my heart with this one.

 

*runs off to read*

 

Hey J.Ross

 

I honestly didn't mean to shatter anyone

[Meeko]

Meeko I love this story, I like a great mystery and this one is a beaut. You have Josh still wandering around in a daze, the aftermath of his brothers death is leaving Josh in a world that is surreal, haunting, yet filled with impending doom scenario. Very gripping story!!

 

 

Hey Benji!

 

I'm glad you're loving the story. I honestly love a mystery too, hence the story hehe. I don't have firsthand experience of losing my brother. But I have a good feeling of what it would be like. But remember he didn't only lose a brother, he lost his best friend.

 

And to now find out that he didn't know his brothers as much as he thought he did is slowly tearing him apart.

 

-Mike

[Benji]

Yes, the hint of some type of espionage is there, what will Josh discover back in his 'old' house?

[Tiff]

Great chapter, dude!

 

Man, what exactly does Darren do for a living? Why is he so uptight all the time? I get that he's worried about Josh's safety, but whipping that gun out was hardcore.

 

Great line about stealing Jayce's porn...and it was super sweet of Trent to push Josh on the swing...he's not all goofy apparently.

 

One of my favorite parts was when Josh thought he was going to die from Queen. Btw, nice name! LOL. Anyway, I loved that Josh was forcing himself to think good thoughts if those were the last ones he was going to have. Kind of like your life flashing before your eyes, but in this case, it's only the good moments and important people that are remembered. A small piece of the story, but powerful enough to stick in my mind.

 

Awesome and I can't wait to read more. You know when I get to Hawaii, I'm going to make you write all the time even if we're hanging out.

[Benji]

Humm, I thought it was a bit plain that Darren was a spook (CIA) or other Gov. agency, His title of boss and the presence of armed individuals is clear.

[Meeko]

Yes, the hint of some type of espionage is there, what will Josh discover back in his 'old' house?

 

 

Sorry Benji, but you're just going to have to wait for the next chapter to find out!

 

-Mike