Lovers Blind

[Zeoanne]

NightOwl would like to hear what you have to say about his new story Lovers Blind. Welcome to his discussion forum! Chapter One is now available. Enjoy!!!

[Nephylim]

NightOwl would like to hear what you have to say about his new story Lovers Blind. Welcome to his discussion forum! Chapter One is now available. Enjoy!!!

 

 

I am loving it so far. It's a very sweet concept and beautifully executed. I am interested in both characters and I think that the tension of the storm building is reflected in the writing so I can't wait to find out what happens when it hits.

 

Sometimes the issue of blindness can be used as a kind of sympathy inducing tool... pity me, I'm blind... but that is not the case here... the sympathy I feel is for the character and not his disability which he seems to cope with very well and is not an all consuming issue in his life and therefore in the story. I am hooked.

[Altimexis]

I like the story a lot, but unfortunately the medical aspects of the story are flawed. I don't know a lot about corneal degeneration, but there are some things about corneal transplants that are glaringly out of whack in this story. First of all, corneal transplants are never obtained from living donors. To donate a cornea would mean giving up sight in one eye, permanently. It's one thing to give up a kidney or a part of your liver, as your body will compensate for the loss without any significant effects. Giving up vision in one eye means losing stereoscopic vision (loss of depth perception) and losing peripheral vision on that side. That's a heavy price to pay for restoring a loved one's sight and while some people might be willing to do so out of love, I doubt that there are may doctors who would go along with it.

 

Secondly, tissue match is not an issue for corneal transplants. The cornea is non-vascular, and as the eye is an extension of the brain, it sits behind the blood-brain barrier. The cornea is not exposed to the immune system and, hence, cornea transplants can be obtained from anyone. Now as I said, I don't know a lot about corneal degeneration and I don't know if transplanted corneas would tend to degenerate the same way the original cornea does. My suggestion is to do a little more research and modify the story appropriately. Otherwise, based on chapter one anyway, the story has a lot of potential.

[Zeoanne]

Even though it was not me who wrote the story I had to find more information on Corneal Transplant. I know nothing about the issue, all I know about eyes is that mine are going downhill faster than a failing rocket!

On the first paragraph when the doctor is explaining that they have to find a matching donor, first of all, we all know that the donor has to be a recently diseased person, that's a given... Being that there are so many people nowadays suffering from all kinds of ocular disease the waiting list can be quite extensive and the donor has to be compatible e.g. blood type and age of person. I read a little on different websites and learned that you can't put the cornea of an elder person into a young man (didn't read extensively so that's all I grabbed).

If anyone has more knowledge and would like to contribute hey, Bienvenue!

 

Explaining Waiting Time For Donors

 

http://depts.washington.edu/ophthweb/cornea.html

 

 

Explaining Donor Compatibility

 

http://clinicaltrials.gov/ct2/show/NCT00006411

[NightOwl88]

First I want to say thanks to Altimexis and Nephylim for being the first to post in the forum, and Rush of course. Since I'm a little short on time I'll answer both of you at once.

 

Nephylim I'm glad that you approves of the way I wrote about Zeek's handicap, like you said I didn't want to be the all consuming focus of this story, while true it plays a vital role through out the story (of course) I've tried to right it as a sort of *evolving through* instead of a *dealing with* kind of situation, if that makes sense.

I'm going to be shameless enough to admit this, I'm glad your hooked lol and I look forward to hearing from you in the future.

 

 

I want to thank you Altimexis for bringing these issues to my attention I will admit that when I first started writing this story that my research was spotty, and lacking. I do have a link that might answer some of the questions you posed and as to those that this link does not answer I will likely be making some changes to the story here quite soon, as soon as I ge the chance anyway.

 

I hope you both can over look my inaccuracies and will continue to read, enjoy, and let me know what you think.

 

BEst Wishes,

Nightowl88

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Keratoconus

[Nephylim]

I know that research and accuracy are important, as are grammar, spelling etc.... but these have always been secondary for me to the story itself. Sure, if any of those things are so glaring they get in the way of the story then they need to be fixed but there is nothing like that here.

 

I don't know anything about the medical basis for Zeek's blindness and I tend to skim over details I don't understand in any event. The focus for me is the story and I am loving it.

 

The relationship between Zeek and Jake, the three dimensional nature of all the characters, the slow build up of tension, the moments of sweetness and the wealth of detail about what the characters are experiencing all makes for a very very nice story with moments of real beauty. The last couple of paragraphs are awesome.

[Conner]

Sweet story!

 

So, in what chapter does Jake pound Rick into pulp?

[Fishwings]

WTF.

 

Abusing blind kids?! I don't even know WHAT to say about that, but Rick deserves to be deep fried, frozen, and soft served.

 

 

 

Zeek is pretty cool. I like how he has a positive attitude and he isn't all bitter about being blind, although it might be because it has been four years.

 

Just wondering, why does he need glasses?

[Zeoanne]

Hey guys, you can find chapter two here.

 

Hope you enjoy it and come back and tell us what you think.

[NightOwl88]

I really need to start checking my email more. I hope you guys don't mind me replying en masse like this, it'll cut down on space. If you do then I hope youll forgive me lol.

 

I know that research and accuracy are important, as are grammar, spelling etc.... but these have always been secondary for me to the story itself. Sure, if any of those things are so glaring they get in the way of the story then they need to be fixed but there is nothing like that here.

 

I don't know anything about the medical basis for Zeek's blindness and I tend to skim over details I don't understand in any event. The focus for me is the story and I am loving it.

 

The relationship between Zeek and Jake, the three dimensional nature of all the characters, the slow build up of tension, the moments of sweetness and the wealth of detail about what the characters are experiencing all makes for a very very nice story with moments of real beauty. The last couple of paragraphs are awesome.

 

Hello Nephylim, I'm glad to see you back so soon. I am supremely glad that you are enjoying the story and I look forward to hearing from you. Not a lot of people have been miffed by my medical details, and those who have been; other then Altimexis (thank you so muchBTW) have given me anything concrete to go on.

I wanted to make it clear early in the story the level of commitment between Zeeka dn Jake, even before putting them together. I guess the friends falling for eachother theme is common in my though process, fulfillment of a fantasy I suppose lol.

 

Sweet story!

 

So, in what chapter does Jake pound Rick into pulp?

 

I'm glad to have you here Conner, I hope it won't be the last time. I am very glad you are enjoying the story, and I hope you'll continue to. A conflict between Jake and Rick is coming, though I don't know if you will like how it is described, though if you don't I promise there will be a proper *showdown* later in the story, I hope you'll stick around for it.

 

 

WTF.

 

Abusing blind kids?! I don't even know WHAT to say about that, but Rick deserves to be deep fried, frozen, and soft served.

 

 

Zeek is pretty cool. I like how he has a positive attitude and he isn't all bitter about being blind, although it might be because it has been four years.

 

Just wondering, why does he need glasses?

 

Good to meet you FishWings, I hope you'll become a regular face. Abuse agianst blind/visually impaired and deaf kids in school is actualy a lot larger of a problem then anyone wants to admit, I had a study saved on my pc at one time that I could try look up and post it here if you like.

 

As to your question, a lot of blind/visually impaired people experiance discomfort and even pain when their eyes are exposed to brightlight or sunlight to many wear sunglasses in order to protect their eyes.

 

Well I hope you all will forgive my method of repling if it is difficult to understand, I'll try to be more considerate in the future.

 

Best Wishes to all,

NightOwl88

[Cia]

I have to echo Nephylim, I tend to gloss over technical details in stories if it doesn't apply instrinsically to what is happening in the now. I appreciate knowing the how and why's of his blindness but as the condition appears to have progressed as far as it will affect him, ie... his blindness.. I just forgot about it. It did help that the story focuses less on his blindness than what he does with/because of it. As you said, evolving with it. However, if you have intimate experience with a subject I can see that unfortunate techincial misinformation in a story could detract for the reader, it sounds as if this is a subject Altimexis is familar with prior to reading your story. However, for the average reader the story is great as it is.

 

I have been fortunate to have never experienced a permanent disability that is so all encompassing, however, I have spent a few years temorarily disabled. It is a sobering experience when something physical with your body going "wrong" so greatly affects your life. I remember the times when I was struggling and got stares and comments instead of help as well as the times when friends or even perfect strangers really went above and beyond the call of duty... Bad experiences unfortunately do happen, how we deal with them is up to us. I like that Zeek is standing up for himself to the school and the bullies, even while relying on his friend to care for him as hard as that can be.

 

Whew..well..long post short..(I like to ramble ) I can't wait to read the next chapter. OH, and I eagerly await a "storm" scene...you made it sound soooo hot!!

 

Thanks for a great story!!

Cia

[NightOwl88]

Hey CIA, good to see you again.

 

I've become a real stickler for details, i like things to be accurate, even within the frame of creative license. I most likely won't change too much about the situation but I will make some adjustments to my details. Dealing with a blind charecter has posed some problems for me but I've done the best i can to describe things from his point of view as well as I can and try to not overly enphasize the issues he has with it, just sort of make people aware of them.

 

I like you haven't had the missfortune to ahve to deal with such a disorder before either,a dn i feel for you and the situation you found yourself in, I am glad that you seem to have gotten better, at least I hope you have. I've also really tried to keep Zeek as independant as possible in order to sort of balance out Jake's desire to care for him, which is an extension of his true feelings for him.

 

A storm scene will be here quite soon, i hope your not dissapointed lol.

 

BEst Wishes.

NightOwl88

[NightOwl88]

Hey all.

 

Just thought I would drop in and let yall know that the third chapter of Lovers Blind has been uploaded to the e-fiction section. Follow the link below to get there and as always i value your feedback so LET ME KNOW lol.

 

Lovers Blind 3

[Cia]

Love it of course, but we've had this discussion! I am so glad you updated and the storm scene was just as great as anticipated!! Thanks again!!!

 

 

[NightOwl88]

I am certainly glad that you enjoyed yourself CIA, your post and review mean a lot to me. I'm also glad that you liked the storm scene, I hope to have the chance to write another one soon.

[David McLeod]

Chapter 3 was both a logical and an emotional successor to the previous chapters; the story arc is working well.

The kiss in the storm was a vivid image and evoked strong emotions; the storm is a superb metaphor for the emotions the characters are experiencing. The shower scene could have been a cliche, but gratifyingly, wasn't.

Well done!

[Zeoanne]

Read Below....

Edited November 11, 2009 by Rush

[Zeoanne]

ATTENTION!!!

I am so glad that so many of you are loving Lovers Blind.

On chapter 3 I made a HUGE blunder. I received the chapter from NightOwl and read through it but did not edit waiting until I wasn't too tired as it was late at night when I read it. I found a sentence that was not finished and highlighted it and sent it back to him so he could finish it therefore making my brain think that I had edited the entire chapter. Well, to my horror, after he posted the chapter, needless to say, I wanted to puke! I am so embarrassed and humbly asking for your forgiveness...

Mea Culpa!

The edited chapter has been posted.

[Conner]

Ok, Rush, bad girl! Go sit in the corner for 30 minutes. Thumb sucking is optional.

 

Relax, sweetie, all is good.

 

I totally adored this chapter!

[Nephylim]

Ok, Rush, bad girl! Go sit in the corner for 30 minutes. Thumb sucking is optional.

 

Relax, sweetie, all is good.

 

I totally adored this chapter!

 

 

What he said

[David McLeod]

Ok, Rush, bad girl! Go sit in the corner for 30 minutes. Thumb sucking is optional.

 

Relax, sweetie, all is good.

 

I totally adored this chapter!

 

 

Yeah, what Conner and Nephylim said.

[NightOwl88]

Hey all. Been a very long few days * had to take one of my cousisn to the hospital at three yesterday morning. Shes ok.

 

Chapter 3 was both a logical and an emotional successor to the previous chapters; the story arc is working well.

The kiss in the storm was a vivid image and evoked strong emotions; the storm is a superb metaphor for the emotions the characters are experiencing. The shower scene could have been a cliche, but gratifyingly, wasn't.

Well done!

 

I am always glad to you see you're name in my forum David. Thank you so much for your post.

I do try and keep the chapters consistant with eachother, both in detail and emotional underline, I am glad that it seems to be working. Your words ont eh storm and shower scene were quite touching. I'm actually very happy that the metaphor in the storm came off so well, when i first wrote the story i was worried that it wouldn't work.

 

Yes shower scenes do tend to come off cliche but this just seemed like the perfect to get them together for the first time.

 

 

What he said

 

 

lol I am glad you and Conner liked the chapter Nephylim, but be nice lol.

[Nephylim]

Erm.... was I not being nice How?

 

 

[Conner]

Erm.... was I not being nice How?

 

That time you were!

[NightOwl88]

Erm.... was I not being nice How?

 

 

 

 

lolI was joking darling.