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[Skylights] Loving Sam Lynch


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#1

Skylights

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Posted 27 February 2010 - 02:26 PM

Summary:Max and Sam grew up together, the very best of friends. Max dates a new hottie every week and Sam can't stop himself from hating them. None of them are worthy of Max in his eyes! All grown up, and on their own, their friendship is still unique, and Max's can't seem to step away from the shadows he's immersed himself in because of his feelings for his best friend.

do check it out and feel free to discuss it here. if you guys like it so far, i can post more! I can handle anything!

Here's the story

#2

Luc Rosen

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Posted 27 February 2010 - 08:50 PM

I really enjoyed what you wrote so far -- you are a terrific writer. Both Sam and Max are well developed characters with their own attractive quirks. The description is pretty hot, as is the same with the conversation : D.

I'm kinda confused about this line though: "He knew he could be awfully rude by his iciness, he knew he was too beautiful, and he knew Sam Lynch was crazy about him." 'Cause, Max says a few lines down that he thought Sam wasn't gay?

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#3

Skylights

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Posted 28 February 2010 - 09:13 AM

I really enjoyed what you wrote so far -- you are a terrific writer. Both Sam and Max are well developed characters with their own attractive quirks. The description is pretty hot, as is the same with the conversation : D.

I'm kinda confused about this line though: "He knew he could be awfully rude by his iciness, he knew he was too beautiful, and he knew Sam Lynch was crazy about him." 'Cause, Max says a few lines down that he thought Sam wasn't gay?


Thanks, and i suppose i should have added "Regardless of the fact that he WASN'T gay." :P more will come soon.

#4

Luc Rosen

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Posted 03 March 2010 - 02:24 AM

Wonderful chapter : ). Max's cold, pained air strikes such a contrast with Sam, who isn't quite as naive as he seemed in the first chapter. I'm not so sure your omniscient point of view works though, as most of your writing seems more third-person ish with bits of thoughts from the other character.

Here's an excerpt of your writing that I really, really liked.

Max nodded. ďI could tell. Iím happy for you.Ē He really was.

Itís not like it was a surprise. There was just something different about knowing something and then hearing it spoken aloud. It was like suspecting you had cancer but then having it confirmed by a doctor. You couldnít ignore it anymore because it refused to hide itself. You knew it was killing you bit by bit but it was something you had to accept.




Heart felt metaphor D: Looking forward to more! [*drools @ Xander*]

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#5

Skylights

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Posted 03 March 2010 - 04:03 PM

Wonderful chapter : ). Max's cold, pained air strikes such a contrast with Sam, who isn't quite as naive as he seemed in the first chapter. I'm not so sure your omniscient point of view works though, as most of your writing seems more third-person ish with bits of thoughts from the other character.

Here's an excerpt of your writing that I really, really liked.

Max nodded. "I could tell. I'm happy for you." He really was.

It's not like it was a surprise. There was just something different about knowing something and then hearing it spoken aloud. It was like suspecting you had cancer but then having it confirmed by a doctor. You couldn't ignore it anymore because it refused to hide itself. You knew it was killing you bit by bit but it was something you had to accept.




Heart felt metaphor D: Looking forward to more! [*drools @ Xander*]


I like your perception. And The reason for that might be because initially it was meant to be a short story but then it became longer. I think the POV works though. I suppose I'm like their omniscient god and i focus on Max the most. Let's just say i focus on other aspects when it needs to be? If it really doesn't work, do PM me as i'm kind of an amateur at this still.

thanks for giving me that example :) I like that bit too.

#6

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Posted 24 March 2010 - 02:48 PM

Chapter 3 is up. New developments. What do you guys think of Xander so far? Sam? Max?

#7

Luc Rosen

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Posted 03 April 2010 - 09:50 PM

This story really is something, Skylights!

I'm quite loving the drrrrrrama, and as usual, your crisp, mature, atmospheric writing makes the experience feel less soap opera-ish.

I really wanna slap Max, like totally bitch slap, cock slap him. I think he needs to start deciding whether to give up Sam or to confront his feelings -- likewise with Xander. I have a feeling he's got Mr. Lynch practically wrapped around his pinky.

Here's an excerpt that I really enjoyed:



"ďWhy donít you come over to Blakeís house with me this weekend?Ē ďAre you sure you donít want to come to the party after the game?Ē ďYou could always come over anyway even though Jimmy will be over. Iíll miss ya.Ē And so on and so on. Most of the time, Max refused, but occasionally for Samís sake he would agree... "



Something about quoting Sam's words from the past made it all the.... er, *ESL moment* sexier.

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#8

Skylights

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Posted 03 April 2010 - 10:10 PM

This story really is something, Skylights!

I'm quite loving the drrrrrrama, and as usual, your crisp, mature, atmospheric writing makes the experience feel less soap opera-ish.

I really wanna slap Max, like totally bitch slap, cock slap him. I think he needs to start deciding whether to give up Sam or to confront his feelings -- likewise with Xander. I have a feeling he's got Mr. Lynch practically wrapped around his pinky.

Here's an excerpt that I really enjoyed:



""Why don't you come over to Blake's house with me this weekend?" "Are you sure you don't want to come to the party after the game?" "You could always come over anyway even though Jimmy will be over. I'll miss ya." And so on and so on. Most of the time, Max refused, but occasionally for Sam's sake he would agree... "



Something about quoting Sam's words from the past made it all the.... er, *ESL moment* sexier.


Let me take a quick moment to say something. MY MAIN CHARACTERS INCITE VIOLENCE IN PEOPLE. No seriously. DO you have any idea how many emails, review, comments, I've gotten telling me how badly they wanted to hurt Kyle from SC? Anyway, back to sanity, you'll see exactly how much Samy Lynch is wrapped around Max's finger one of these chapters or so.

Your ESL moment made me ROFLMAO. I think i've had too much sugar today. Also, I'm flattered you think my writing is mature and all those other adjectives you used too since I have a longgg ways to go. It's partly why I list my age as 99. But Shh.

Note: This might as well be a personal thread for you and I. Grab a chair, why don't you? And have a latte if you'd like. I've bakes some cookies too. Make yourself at home. I don't expect any disturbances anytime soon.

#9

Luc Rosen

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Posted 03 April 2010 - 10:15 PM

That's good, it means you're successful! Although if you ever accidentally let slip to your fans where you live things I can imagine things may get ugly.

... OTAY Ms. Mystery Woman Skylights, how old exactly are you then?!?! >: D


Edit: Okay, that sounds good. We can shoot anyone who decides to interrupt with your loaded gun.

Edited by FishWings, 03 April 2010 - 10:16 PM.

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#10

Skylights

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Posted 03 April 2010 - 10:18 PM

That's good, it means you're successful! Although if you ever accidentally let slip to your fans where you live things I can imagine things may get ugly.

... OTAY Ms. Mystery Woman Skylights, how old exactly are you then?!?! >: D


Does it ?I'm not too sure...
With my new story (which has nothing to do with LSL OR SC) I'm trying to create characters that don't incite violence but I can already see that failing. D: I think it's a latent flaw.

As for my age,

If you pm me, I'll tell ya...MAYBE. Only if you promise to tell no one. Actually, some people on here do know. I'm not teasing...

Edit: My gun is always loaded for you. HAH.

#11

Luc Rosen

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Posted 03 April 2010 - 10:24 PM

Does it ?I'm not too sure...
With my new story (which has nothing to do with LSL OR SC) I'm trying to create characters that don't incite violence but I can already see that failing. D: I think it's a latent flaw.

As for my age,

If you pm me, I'll tell ya...MAYBE. Only if you promise to tell no one. Actually, some people on here do know. I'm not teasing...

Edit: My gun is always loaded for you. HAH.




Well uh, that could be bad. I might do the whole kamikaze death threat thing when I read SC, seeing how I'm already suppressing the urge to smack Max about. And to add to that, I want to get violent with Sam too. Just much less bitch slapping and much more cock slapping, if you know what I mean... JAJAJAJAJAJA

[I'm so immature. Forgive. <3]

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#12

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Posted 05 April 2010 - 11:54 PM

there im here :P

Truly,
Richard Kyle
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#13

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Posted 06 April 2010 - 01:31 AM

I'm here too so I guess it won't be as intimate as it was before when it was only you two.

Skylights, you should put the link to this thread in the author's note of the next chapter of LSL. I didn't know that this was here before. I probably wouldn't have participated much in the discussion but others might.

#14

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Posted 10 April 2010 - 11:53 AM

Thanks Blade, Fishy, and Tj. It's still intimate ;)

I've just put up chapter 6 here Enjoy.

#15

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Posted 10 April 2010 - 11:54 AM

sweet!

Truly,
Richard Kyle
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#16

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Posted 10 April 2010 - 01:36 PM

Thanks Blade, Fishy, and Tj. It's still intimate Posted Image

I've just put up chapter 6 here Enjoy.



May I come in? Posted Image

#17

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Posted 10 April 2010 - 01:45 PM

I guess I like the three guys but my favorite is Xander. Dear poor Xander who was warned, but you used a phrase that explained it all "Sam's calling, nobody else exists"

I canít say I donít like Sam, but I usually distance myself from his type. Heís too carefree and self-absorbed (without being egotistical), but people like them tend to have the ability to hurt other people without even noticing.

Seems to me heís finally opening his eyes, maybe Annabelle said something. Letís see how this plays.



#18

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Posted 10 April 2010 - 04:30 PM

May I come in? Posted Image


Mhm :D

I guess I like the three guys but my favorite is Xander. Dear poor Xander who was warned, but you used a phrase that explained it all "Sam's calling, nobody else exists"

I can't say I don't like Sam, but I usually distance myself from his type. He's too carefree and self-absorbed (without being egotistical), but people like them tend to have the ability to hurt other people without even noticing.

Seems to me he's finally opening his eyes, maybe Annabelle said something. Let's see how this plays.



:o I like xander too but Sam is not as self-absorbed as you think. Never has been. Just innocent.

#19

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Posted 10 April 2010 - 05:04 PM

Max is caught in an awful predicament. I don't get the feeling that Sam is self absorbed, more like confused.

What I'm rather curious about is whether Sam is actually physically attracted to Max at all, 'cause it really doesn't seem that way. His love seems exclusively non-sexual... which I find really interesting.

Poor Xander.

Good chapter overall Skylights! The tension builds every chapter, as does the inner conflict in Max and the frustration of Xander and the confusion of Sam. Things seem like they'll get explosive soon! : D Don't keep us waiting.

Btw, I caught a spelling mistake, "Zander".

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#20

Skylights

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Posted 10 April 2010 - 07:00 PM

Max is caught in an awful predicament. I don't get the feeling that Sam is self absorbed, more like confused.

What I'm rather curious about is whether Sam is actually physically attracted to Max at all, 'cause it really doesn't seem that way. His love seems exclusively non-sexual... which I find really interesting.

Poor Xander.

Good chapter overall Skylights! The tension builds every chapter, as does the inner conflict in Max and the frustration of Xander and the confusion of Sam. Things seem like they'll get explosive soon! : D Don't keep us waiting.

Btw, I caught a spelling mistake, "Zander".


About the physical attraction, I can't remember, but I believe I touched on that very briefly. You'll see what happens...hmm I think in the next chapter. Something that makes Sam :o:o:O as in makes his eyeballs pop. xD

Poor Xander? really...I don't feel sympathy for him.:devil::devil:

I'm sad to say that the next chapter will not be posted next week...it'll be back to a little erratic posting again (darn, and I was being so good). The chapter is in need of a LOT of work.

Nice hearing what you had to say fishy.

and ZOMG...a mistake? D:. That's why I need someone to look over these things...

#21

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Posted 10 April 2010 - 08:17 PM

I guess I like the three guys but my favorite is Xander. Dear poor Xander who was warned, but you used a phrase that explained it all "Sam's calling, nobody else exists"

I can't say I don't like Sam, but I usually distance myself from his type. He's too carefree and self-absorbed (without being egotistical), but people like them tend to have the ability to hurt other people without even noticing.

Seems to me he's finally opening his eyes, maybe Annabelle said something. Let's see how this plays.



When you said that Sam had the ability to hurt others, namely Max, without even noticing, I sort of pictured that scene when Sam told Max that he loved Annabelle. That statement obviously hurt Max, as proven by him saying it was similar to having your suspicion of having cancer confirmed. However, I wouldn't really say that Sam was totally oblivious to that. Sam noticed that there was something wrong but he just didn't connect the dots properly. I am sort of debating right now whether he wasn't able to or he wasn't willing.

What I'm rather curious about is whether Sam is actually physically attracted to Max at all, 'cause it really doesn't seem that way. His love seems exclusively non-sexual... which I find really interesting.

Poor Xander.



About the physical attraction, I can't remember, but I believe I touched on that very briefly. You'll see what happens...hmm I think in the next chapter. Something that makes Sam :o:o:O as in makes his eyeballs pop. xD

Poor Xander? really...I don't feel sympathy for him.:devil::devil:

I'm sad to say that the next chapter will not be posted next week...it'll be back to a little erratic posting again (darn, and I was being so good). The chapter is in need of a LOT of work.


I think Sam is physically attracted to Max. Or at least that is what I assumed when Sam was checking Max out while Max was texting Xander (chapter 5). I pictured Sam looking at Max's cute bum and then moving up. I can't wait for that eye popping thing in the next chapter though.

I agree with the poor Xander sentiments. You can't really say that he didn't see it coming because Max practically spelled it out for him but you can't really blame him for trying. But I'm sure he'll get over it eventually.

Boo on it not being out next week! :( I hope the eye popping thing makes up for it.

#22

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Posted 10 April 2010 - 08:23 PM

Also, for some reason I keep imaging the song "Need You Now" when Sam called Max after his break up with Annabelle.

#23

Luc Rosen

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Posted 10 April 2010 - 08:23 PM

I think Sam is physically attracted to Max. Or at least that is what I assumed when Sam was checking Max out while Max was texting Xander (chapter 5). I pictured Sam looking at Max's cute bum and then moving up. I can't wait for that eye popping thing in the next chapter though.

I agree with the poor Xander sentiments. You can't really say that he didn't see it coming because Max practically spelled it out for him but you can't really blame him for trying. But I'm sure he'll get over it eventually.

Boo on it not being out next week! :( I hope the eye popping thing makes up for it.


I douno if Xander would just get over it though -- he seems like a hella determined kid! I'll have to check chapter five again for that scene, I musta missed it.


PS: Skylights, there is a forum on GA where you can find Beta Readers and Editors I believe, I've never used it before so I'm not sure how it works but check it out. Editors are super helpful.

Edited by FishWings, 10 April 2010 - 08:25 PM.

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#24

Skylights

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Posted 10 April 2010 - 09:08 PM

Also, for some reason I keep imaging the song "Need You Now" when Sam called Max after his break up with Annabelle.


By who?

And you know, I really like that part. Max just drops everything to be there for Sam.

#25

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Posted 10 April 2010 - 09:11 PM

When you said that Sam had the ability to hurt others, namely Max, without even noticing, I sort of pictured that scene when Sam told Max that he loved Annabelle. That statement obviously hurt Max, as proven by him saying it was similar to having your suspicion of having cancer confirmed. However, I wouldn't really say that Sam was totally oblivious to that. Sam noticed that there was something wrong but he just didn't connect the dots properly. I am sort of debating right now whether he wasn't able to or he wasn't willing.


I think Sam is physically attracted to Max. Or at least that is what I assumed when Sam was checking Max out while Max was texting Xander (chapter 5). I pictured Sam looking at Max's cute bum and then moving up. I can't wait for that eye popping thing in the next chapter though.

I agree with the poor Xander sentiments. You can't really say that he didn't see it coming because Max practically spelled it out for him but you can't really blame him for trying. But I'm sure he'll get over it eventually.

Boo on it not being out next week! :( I hope the eye popping thing makes up for it.


I like how you read more into my scenes than even I am capable of doing. Awesome Tj. :2thumbs:

I'll TRY to get it out...no guarantees I've been procrastinating again with schoolwork...friends+youtube+an unplanned sleepover can do that to you LOL.

better?




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