Brotherly Love

[Circle]

Hey all,

 

It's my first story here and I thought I'd start a thread for any discussions or feedbacks or thoughts etc.

 

'I think it is a choice.'

 

Is it a choice? At what point do we decide it is a conscious decision? How do we tell the right from the wrong, when we could be just as confused as those we condemn? It is, of course, not everyday that we tell our brothers we love them. Under what obligation were we to love them anyway?

 

This story follows the lives of two brothers, and how, in a confused moment, a catastrophe was born.

 

https://www.gayauthors.org/story/circle/brotherlylove

[MikeL]

A very good first chapter, Circle. The main character, Ronny, is interesting, but he is troubled. Perhaps he is unnecessarily troubled. The title implies as much.

I am looking forward to the next chapter.

Edited March 7, 2013 by MikeL

[Circle]

Thank you so much, Mike

[Nephylim]

As I said in my review my favourite thing about this story was how naturally it flows. We start off by finding out what's going on inside the main character and only then do we start finding out what's happening on the outside.

 

I started off thinking it was a contemporary story and then began to think it may be historical and then found out it was firmly fantasy... but it wasn't. not completely because the fantasy was still just something going on on the outside. It's about real feelings which make the characters feel like real people which isn't fantasy at all.

[Circle]

Thanks Nephylim. I actually had quite a hard time selecting a proper genre for my story but, as it is set in a fantasy world, it had to be the fantasy genre. It feels real when I write it though . Thanks for dropping by and commenting

[Circle]

Hey guys, I have moved this story to GA Stories and it'll now available and be continued there, once I reach 100 rep. Oh, and the link above has been changed too. Thanks everyone

[Circle]

Those still interested in this story: Chapter 2 is now up!

[Circle]

Chapter 3 is now up. Things are moving, at last.

[Circle]

For those who care, Chapter 4 is now up.

[Circle]

Chapter 5 is up.

[Circle]

Chapter 6 is up, I suppose?

[Fishwings]

Haha! I see you're loyal with the updates To all who haven't yet read the rest of the chapters (to date), I STRONGLY suggest that y'all do!! This is one of the most poignant, not to mention well written stories I've read in awhile. It isn't everyday that something moves me so deeply and makes me think so much.

 

So read it guys. Don't doubt me.

 

Oh btw Circle, when can we expect another chapter : )? Actually just tell me it's two weeks later so I won't be torn away from my studies. Heh.

[Circle]

Hey! It's been about a century since anyone else visited this thread, lol.

 

I generally release a chapter on Saturday (in case you didn't know already, I have completed this story, so I know that it only has 8 chapters), and you are absolutely free to wait two weeks and come back to read it completed. So...what are you studying that takes so much time?

 

Thanks for your kind words, by the way. It's not something that was said about my works on here often.

[Bleu]

Hey! It's been about a century since anyone else visited this thread, lol.

 

I generally release a chapter on Saturday (in case you didn't know already, I have completed this story, so I know that it only has 8 chapters), and you are absolutely free to wait two weeks and come back to read it completed. So...what are you studying that takes so much time?

 

Thanks for your kind words, by the way. It's not something that was said about my works on here often.

 

Like many others I'm sure, I look forward to the last 2 chapters.

 

It is nice to read someone who has his own voice and distinctive style as an author.

[Circle]

That's too generous, Bleu! I think many authors here have their distinctive voice and style and they're all very interesting. I was mostly self-taught as a writer, and I suppose I use different voices depending on the situation . Hehe, but not that many! Remember, Chapter 1 gets about 800 views and all the subsequent chapters get about 100 each lol. Most is probably from myself going back again and again because I'm fastidious about details

 

I'm glad you're liking it and are looking forward to the final 2 chapters where I'll certain conclude the story in a satisfying manner. Perhaps there are ways for Ronny to seek forgiveness? Certainly there is room in Edward's heart for compassion if certain conditions are met.

 

So yeah, I definitely look forward to the last two chapters as a writer too. My sister definitely liked Chapter 7 most of all .

 

Once again, thank you for your kind words, Bleu. You have read Chapter 6?

[Bleu]

You're most welcome.

I have indeed read Chapter 6, although I didn't leave a review like I had done for Chap. 5.

 

The view difference might be explained by the switch over to GA Stories and by the fact that you posted Chap. 1 in August, while the following chapters have all been posted in the last month.

[Circle]

Mmm. That may be so. But even if the first chapter was posted in August, it still only transferred to GA Stories in January. I suppose the view counts don't get transferred over?

 

Reckon I should just release both chapters on Saturday? It would be a relief to get it over with ^^. It's not nice to make anyone wait a week after the end of Chapter 7.

[Circle]

Chapter 7 released. And hey, I'll let you ponder what that little signature mean at the end.

[Fishwings]

,,,,,,,,,..................................12379123ugssailkuhasdiuasd

 

 

 

f**king hell, NOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Circle NOOOOo don't do this to me! DUDE I SAW THIS COMING, and I was hoping you wouldn't do it BUT ARGH WHAT HAVE YOU DONE. Dude I'm gonna start crying like the man I am. Okay back to reading.

 

[Fishwings]

Hey there's a tense error you might wanna catch:

 

"He’s had"

 

Last sentence, six paragraphs up from the bottom.

 

And btw, the smiley is kinda weird, I'd just omit it if I were you : D Makes me think of an email, LOL.

[Bleu]

I, however, did not see this coming

 

and part of me is still somehow hoping that what I had in mind will materialise. If things stay this way I will be quite sad, but your story has to go where you intend it to.

 

 

If I remember correctly, King Roald II is Ronny's father

 

and "Ronny" is a nickname.

 

*Ponders*

[Fishwings]

I, however, did not see this coming

 

and part of me is still somehow hoping that what I had in mind will materialise. If things stay this way I will be quite sad, but your story has to go where you intend it to.

 

 

If I remember correctly, King Roald II is Ronny's father

 

and "Ronny" is a nickname.

 

*Ponders*

 

 

It seemed to me like a likely possibility awhile ago.

 

Dude I'll be depressed too. Circle is a sadist.

 

[Fishwings]

Also, WHY THE HELL IS NO ONE ELSE READING THIS STORY/LEAVING FEEDBACK LOL. This is quality stuff, don't be stupid and start reading guyyyyyyyysssssssssssssssssssss!!! Or lazy, if you're actually reading and not participating.

[Circle]

How did you do the spoiler thing? O_o

 

Good that you saw it coming though! It meant I dropped enough clues before . That was quite a strong reaction, lol. I feel like being strangled.

 

*Giggles*

 

Yes, I do want to catch that error. Would 'He has had' be sufficient, or would present perfect tense simply not do in that sentence?

 

A couple of people have complained to me about that smiley before, and they thought it out of place. But I think I would like to keep it there because it adds that little punch and has a personal touch to it, to let his optimism show through even in the darkest hours, you know what I mean?

 

Did no one like the first letter?

 

 

Bleu, I'm not entirely sure what you had in mind, lol.

 

 

As for why no one reads this, it's because I'm a failed author, haha.

[Fishwings]

How did you do the spoiler thing? O_o

 

Good that you saw it coming though! It meant I dropped enough clues before . That was quite a strong reaction, lol. I feel like being strangled.

 

*Giggles*

 

Yes, I do want to catch that error. Would 'He has had' be sufficient, or would present perfect tense simply not do in that sentence?

 

A couple of people have complained to me about that smiley before, and they thought it out of place. But I think I would like to keep it there because it adds that little punch and has a personal touch to it, to let his optimism show through even in the darkest hours, you know what I mean?

 

Did no one like the first letter?

 

 

Bleu, I'm not entirely sure what you had in mind, lol.

 

 

As for why no one reads this, it's because I'm a failed author, haha.

 

 

 

I'm sure you'll get more readers soon. No the first letter sucked 'cause Ronny wrote it. Nah it was good, but the second one really packed a punch : (. And okay I guess if you want to keep the smiley that is totally up to you : ). I don't strongly object, but I did raise an eyebrow at it.

 

And as to that sentence, "He had had enough" sounds more right to me actually, instead of "he has had".

 

And YOU BETTER FEEL GUILTY LOL. I'ma whip you. When can we expect the next chapter? Next Sat?