[Cia] Eren's Light by Cia

[Graeme]

Eren's Light by Cia

 

Light and Dark are opposing forces, destined to be apart forever. Everyone knows that until someone decides to take what he desires, consequences be damned!

 

 

:nuke: :nuke: Spoilers Below!!! :nuke: :nuke:

[Andrew Q Gordon]

Cia,

 

I loved this - really loved it! There was so much left unsaid that only made it that much more poignant. The touch of mysticism surrounding their bonding, the 'Light' and the 'Dark' only served to enhance the characters, especially Eren's lover. He has challenged his 'darkness' by even daring to have feelings for Eren, but it is how he conquers his fears by accepting Eren's light and his unshaken belief that love can't be bad no matter what others might say that makes him complete.

 

 

Wonderfully done.

 

Andy

[Renee Stevens]

I have to say, that your writing always amazes me and I will definitely read anything you write in the future! Particularly in this story, I loved how you wrote it where you actually didn't designate a description of the main character, who we have no name for, and no gender. It leaves a lot up to the imagination and keeps an air of mystery throughout the story! Very well done!!!

 

Hugs

Renee

[AnytaSunday]

Hello Cia,

 

This was excellent. I loved the descriptions--so beautiful--mouthwatering, actually. The idea of light and dark was played out just perfectly and adding to the suspense of the piece.

 

I just LOVED that it had a happy ending too.

[Toast]

I liked the story, I really wonder about the culture. I wonder what happens next. What will happen when this forbidden love is known. I loved the words, and you say you are not poetic, but you are.

 

 

[Hamen Cheese]

I got confused at the start. I thought it was a skin color thing until the very last part haha. And yeah, the speaker's gender kept bouncing around as I read through also but I'm convinced it's a woman - a soft, squishy woman.

 

Thank you for the story.

[Nephylim]

Initially when I was reading this, especially the near ending I was thinking that it took place somewhere like Australia where there was prejudice against the dark skinned aboriginals. I though that 'light and dark' meant 'black and white'. It came as a surprise when it was something less and something more than that. Prejudice is one thing, obliteration is another... or is it.

 

Whatever, it was a very thought provoking story and I loved both characters. Even though the narrator was never named or described, not even down to gender, I feel I know them

[Cia]

Thanks for the comments everyone! I did deliberately leave the question of light and dark vague. It was something so very integral to their world and a very major factor of their relationship but it was something that everyone took for granted. It wasn't bad to be of the dark or of the light but they did not mix. No one needed to explain it because that was just what was. The parallel's that we draw between races in our reality was sort of inevitable. In the past the same 'knowing' that the two just couldn't mix was the same. In this, it was less the challenge of how would society react but how confident were they in their love and dedication to the other.

 

 

The narrator was left as more of an unknown than Eren was. Eren was confident, assured and determined to fight for what he truly wanted. The narrator was more reserved, fearing what would happen not so much for his sake, but for his love's. When Eren decided that taking the risk was what he wanted, what he was sure of, the narrator gave in, finally acknowledging what he wanted and he was willing to risk everything for the chance to be together. The idea for the story came to me from the picture. The dark and light sides of the image were beautiful in their own ways, both the color and lack of it. But the blending of the two, the way the shadow highlighted the colors the bright sunset painted on the clouds made the area where the two halves came together the most spectacular part of the picture. In a relationship that is what we do for our partner. We bring our two halves together and make each other better, both the good and bad parts.

 

I really appreciate everyone taking the time to read this story and comment. I really did try to push the descriptions in this story to be very vivid, thank you Anyta and Sam for noticing, it was the hardest part for me. Oh and Hamen, honestly I have no idea who the narrator is. I saw the face, the eyes, skin, hair... but the body and the gender never came through to me. It was a struggle when I wrote the story because I didn't know really. I didn't want to 'he or she' the character since I decided if they didn't want to tell me it must not matter.

Edited September 15, 2010 by Cia

[C James]

Artfully done, with a deft and subtle touch. I liked the way you left some things unsaid, and let the reader's mind fill in the details.

 

Thanks Cia!

[phana14]

Hi Cia!

 

I keep detailed personal notes whenever I read a book/story. I identify the person telling the story with an asterisk.

 

In my begining notes on ( "Eren's Light" -- Cia), I see this: *____________? a she? black?

 

Since you left it up to me to *paint* however I chose, my notes now identify the speaker as a black girl.

 

The story made me a bit nervous ONLY because I was concerned that there might be some rejection toward the end. That didn't happen and we experienced an extremely warm and touching ending.

 

So! By leaving the reader carte blanche authority with regard to the mc, You have created a masterpiece for me to play with. I can change everything about this character each time I read the story.

 

OK! I've told you how I read this--now let me tell you what I thought of it.

 

Fantastic! It is so *different* from the norm! You have that ability to put the reader right into the story (damn near physically), and that is SO important to me.

 

I really liked your story, Cia!

 

I'd love to chat some more but I'm out of air.

Edited September 17, 2010 by phana14

[Benji]

................... Nice story Cia!!

 

I struggled with the metaphoric of this story, until the mid point! I realized the symbolism wasn't racial at all, but of the forbidden love. The struggle of the light and dark was nothing more then societies concept of right and wrong. And of course, homosexuality is viewed as a wrong, I get the feeling there was no black girl involved with a white boy in this saga. Just a blond boy and dark haired boy!

 

Nicely done!!

[Cia]

Thank you CJ! Honestly I could have gone into a big long description of the world and the society and the way the 2 groups of the same people are kept apart but I figured I'd highlight the differences and the social stigma as it stood and leave it at that. I like it when I can relate to a story personally and I think leaving the societal conflict vague allowed for more people to do that.

 

LOL Phana and Benji! I think your differing takes on who the character is was exactly my dilemma when I sat down to write this. I don't really get the characters talking to me in my head like some writers say they do but in this one I just couldn't write the MC any other way. They had no name, no real identifying characteristics, it was all up in the air. Rather than forcing the issue in my mind I let the story flow. I left it as it was because I like stories where the descriptions of the characters aren't really handed out like a dossier anway so I figured I'd run with it and let the reader decided. I'm glad it worked for both of you.

 

Again, thanks to everyone for commenting! No one else reads my work and it means the world to me when people whose opinions I respect so much take the time to really give me their thoughts and insight to the stories I work so hard on.

[Kev de Cauchery]

I love how the "never going back" was underlying the whole story. And I also love the opening, essentially what draws me into the story, the description of the sunset.

 

I do like that the definition of "light" and

[Rilbur]

A great story! I was expecting the touch of magic / mysticism / whatever at the end there, but... it worked great.

 

I could see more stories set in this universe...

[jian_sierra]

Hey Cia,

 

I'm really sorry that I just got around to reading this. I love the story and I love how you portrayed Light and Dark, two seemingly opposing forces which in reality complement each other. Awesome! Thanks for sharing.

 

John

[NightOwl88]

Simply wonderful Cia, I loved it. The mystisim, the romance, the intrigue. The touch of light and dark, mixing, mingling. I just...I don't have the words to adaquetly say how much I thought of this story.

 

Wonderful,

Best,

NightOwl

[Dolores Esteban]

Well, I had a hard time reading and finishing your story. Our preferred writing styles are entirely different. Your style of writing is very flowery. I was under the impression of reading the diary of a sixteen years old school girl. Now, don't get me wrong, please. I loved The Lord's Sacrifice, and I guess your style of writing fits best those kinds of stories. Honestly, you're good at it. Taking up the topic of light and dark was a good idea. But you scratched on the surface. Explore it to more depth and choose a more adequate background. You'd draw your readers in, I guarantee.

[Cia]

Owl, Jian, Kev, Thank you so much for reading my anthology and taking the time to let me know your thoughts and how you felt about it. I always enjoy reading reviews and responses and the encouragement I got from all of you was great. Thanks!

 

Rilbur and Dolores, You both made comments as to the fact that I only skimmed the available material in this story. I agree. I could have given so much more detail into the world, the differences between light and dark and the associated social taboos regarding their mingling. However, I wanted it vague because I wanted the light and dark to be as undetailed and ambiguous as possible to allow for reader interpretation. The light and dark aspects of the main character and Eren are not really mystical as in magic more than it is just who they are inside. The blending was more that the contact with one simply brought out those aspects in each other, the darkness in one was brought more to the fore and the light in another shone more strongly. It was meant to illustrate that they are all truly a blending of light and dark already, just more of one than the other. Their mingling, rather than damaging each other only emphasized that and made them better.

[phana14]

Owl, Jian, Kev, Thank you so much for reading my anthology and taking the time to let me know your thoughts and how you felt about it. I always enjoy reading reviews and responses and the encouragement I got from all of you was great. Thanks!

 

Rilbur and Dolores, You both made comments as to the fact that I only skimmed the available material in this story. I agree. I could have given so much more detail into the world, the differences between light and dark and the associated social taboos regarding their mingling. However, I wanted it vague because I wanted the light and dark to be as undetailed and ambiguous as possible to allow for reader interpretation. The light and dark aspects of the main character and Eren are not really mystical as in magic more than it is just who they are inside. The blending was more that the contact with one simply brought out those aspects in each other, the darkness in one was brought more to the fore and the light in another shone more strongly. It was meant to illustrate that they are all truly a blending of light and dark already, just more of one than the other. Their mingling, rather than damaging each other only emphasized that and made them better.

 

I don't know how I have missed SO much while thinking that I was being perceptive (I thought).

Cia! For goodness sake! You wrote a perfectly stupendous story. Because you left such a vast arena for your readers to populate, who could possibly complain?

At the risk of redundancy, how could anyone ask for a better reading situation than to be left with an opening which allows the reader to *Create/Paint/Form* a character! Let ALONE a main character? Well, scratch *create*, you've done that for us. heh

Yesterday, Eren was a black girl in love with a white boy. Tomorrow I'm going to think of her/him as a dark mind attempting to enjoin with another person whom she/he has encountered on her/his life journey. And the day after tomorrow she/he might be just a figment of someone's imagination, from whence she came.

Again Cia, I loved this.

[Emulated]

Echoing the thoughts above, I too thought that this was a story of ethnicity. An idea reinforced through the allusions of racial segregation, which were hinted to at various points. But the last paragraphs changed all that, and really made the story mean a whole lot more for me.

 

The theme of light and dark dominates this story, even to the extent where it almost mutes out anything but the central plot. This works very well. The central plot is one where light and dark want to merge, but not be cancelled out by each other (i.e. the love and adoration between the two characters).

 

The second plot on the other hand revolves around an instance of kindness and voluntary action. I think this was necessary to help