[Andrew_Q_Gordon] The Price of Love by Quonus10

[Graeme]

The Price of Love by Quonus10

 

An unstoppable evil is threatening the world. Barh, the last Magi is on a quest to find Chenoth, a spirit of great power entrusted by the God's to protect the people. But Chenoth's aid comes at a price, a price Barh is not sure he can pay.

 

 

:nuke: :nuke: Spoilers Below!!! :nuke: :nuke:

[AnytaSunday]

Oh God,

 

I'm a blubbering mess, Andy. That was some powerful emotions in this wonderful, wonderful story. I cannot actually say just how much I loved reading this. It's so lovely and so goddamn sad. But at the same time beautiful and the idea that love transcends everything including form/physicality is just heartwarming.

 

I am very much a fan of your writing and look forward to reading more of your work.

 

*sighs. I sorta need to run for tissues now,

 

Anyta

[jian_sierra]

Hi Andy,

 

That was some powerful writing! Thanks for sharing

 

John

[Benji]

.............Awesome story of self-sacrifice, broken hearts and a pained loss, and a love that transcended the spirit!

[Hamen Cheese]

You know, every time Barh's name was mentioned, I waited for someone to say "humbug!!" hehe. Very moving but I felt kinda sad in the end. They were together and apart at the same time.

 

Thanks for the story.

[Nephylim]

I loved it sooooo much. That was totally wonderful. Every nuance, every part touched something in me and I absolutey adored it

[Andrew Q Gordon]

I'm a blubbering mess, Andy. That was some powerful emotions in this wonderful, wonderful story. I cannot actually say just how much I loved reading this. It's so lovely and so goddamn sad. But at the same time beautiful and the idea that love transcends everything including form/physicality is just heartwarming.

 

I am very much a fan of your writing and look forward to reading more of your work.

 

*sighs. I sorta need to run for tissues now,

 

Anyta

 

Anyta, Thanks for this - I wanted it to be sad, in fact I wasn't sure I was going to add the last part until after it was written - I am a sucker for happy endings, but this was only sorta happy - so I compromised

 

Thanks for reading and commenting.

 

 

Hi Andy,

 

That was some powerful writing! Thanks for sharing

 

 

Actually - in my ignorance, I didn't know I could acknowledge people - like you for instance - who read this before I sent it in. Thanks for your help John - even if it is belated.

 

 

.............Awesome story of self-sacrifice, broken hearts and a pained loss, and a love that transcended the spirit!

 

Benji, thanks for reading - it actually made me cry writing it - not sure I should admit that - but I wanted painful to come across - guess it worked on more than just me

 

 

 

You know, every time Barh's name was mentioned, I waited for someone to say "humbug!!" hehe. Very moving but I felt kinda sad in the end. They were together and apart at the same time.

 

Thanks for the story.

 

Barh is pronounced BAR - the h is silent. So Bar humbug would be silly As I said above, I was going to send it in totally sad so this was a compromise - as much as I like happy endings, I don't know that I totally believe in them LOL.

 

 

I loved it sooooo much. That was totally wonderful. Every nuance, every part touched something in me and I absolutey adored it

 

Well if you 'adored' it then I am truly pleased. I feel like I take so much from your writing, I am glad I could give a bit back to you.

[Cia]

Wow. This story was so sad in the middle. I will admit it now that I cried but it was just so heartbreaking. Self-sacrifice is something that people think is the ultimate price to pay but if you truly love someone the fear is not leaving them for your sake, but for theirs. I wasn't surprised with the story, even in the beginning I knew that something was going to happen to Barh because of how he phrased his joke about Jackson flying, as if he was looking back over all the times they flew together. You only look back when you don't want to face forward.

 

The dragon being Barh wasn't a surprise either, his 'voice', his color difference, blue, like Barh's eyes and the way Chenoth had said, "You have earned this small boon and more," tipped me off. In some ways the bittersweet reunion of the pair, one irrevocably changed in body, reminded me of the life people are faced when they have a loved one who becomes an invalid, like a quadraplegic. You are still together in mind, somewhat in body, you can touch them and sometimes be touched in return but it's not the same. If the alternative is nothing, is that not enough? For some it is, some it is not. I think that Jackson and Barh would make it enough, though the end was still bittersweet.

 

I did have a question though. All the names were so exotic sounding, Chenoth, the Degari, Barhingolis... but then Jackson? That seemed almost out of place, a bit of modern thrown in with the fantastical. How did you come up with the names and why did you add one so different from the rest?

[Andrew Q Gordon]

Wow. This story was so sad in the middle. I will admit it now that I cried but it was just so heartbreaking. Self-sacrifice is something that people think is the ultimate price to pay but if you truly love someone the fear is not leaving them for your sake, but for theirs. I wasn't surprised with the story, even in the beginning I knew that something was going to happen to Barh because of how he phrased his joke about Jackson flying, as if he was looking back over all the times they flew together. You only look back when you don't want to face forward.

 

The dragon being Barh wasn't a surprise either, his 'voice', his color difference, blue, like Barh's eyes and the way Chenoth had said, "You have earned this small boon and more," tipped me off. In some ways the bittersweet reunion of the pair, one irrevocably changed in body, reminded me of the life people are faced when they have a loved one who becomes an invalid, like a quadraplegic. You are still together in mind, somewhat in body, you can touch them and sometimes be touched in return but it's not the same. If the alternative is nothing, is that not enough? For some it is, some it is not. I think that Jackson and Barh would make it enough, though the end was still bittersweet.

 

I did have a question though. All the names were so exotic sounding, Chenoth, the Degari, Barhingolis... but then Jackson? That seemed almost out of place, a bit of modern thrown in with the fantastical. How did you come up with the names and why did you add one so different from the rest?

 

Even though it is considered bad taste - can I answer your question with a question? Was lack of surprise a bad thing? I mean I meant for it to be obvious all along something bad was going to happen to Bahr - hence the saddest smile, the distance between the two - the dragon - eh that is what you get for changing your mind mid story. I was originally NOT going to have Bahr survive in any form, but being a fan of happy endings I relented so that could have been handled better I suppose.

 

As for the names - to me, in fantasy/sci-fi world, names can include the bizarre and the recognizable, i.e. no two places would develop the same set of names but the idea that there can be no overlap is not logical. So my take is that any name I want I can use. Now for the specific explanation - Barh was going to be Bartholomew but I didn't want to shorten it to Bart or Bar - so I tinkered with it and came up with Barhingolis. Chenoth just came to me, Degari was something I worked at a bit - I wanted something harsh sounding - that was the best I could come up with. Jackson is personal - if we have a boy that is one of two names we are considering. It is not my first choice but it is my second SOOOO I used it. Again, I don't think of this as historical - meaning this wasn't earth once upon a time - so names are whatever we or i want.

 

As an aside - I actually had trouble writing and editing this because I started to tear up - I was in a somber mood when I wrote that part and every time I read it is still evokes that feeling. Not that I am glad you cried but I am glad the emotion came through that was the entire point of this story - the Price of Barh's sacrifice cost them both because of their love.

 

Thanks for the feed back - have to think about whether my 'view' on name is workable.

[Cia]

I can understand the name thing a bit, a lot of fantasy writers do similar styles, somewhat familiar names mixed with the fantastical but those are also often human/creature (elves, dwarves, etc...) groupings. I wasn't saying it detracted from the story, simply that it was an odd enough difference considering the small cast of named characters that I wanted to see if you had a reason behind it.

 

As for the lack of surprise in this story, no, I didn't detract from the impact at all. I knew something bad was going to happen but when faced with Barh's sadness and guilt over the people who died 'needlessly' because he simply could not bear to leave Jackson, to cause him the pain their separation would bring I choked up (not something I usually admit willingly btw) because it was so real. You wrote the scene with such immediacy that I couldn't help but be immersed in their situation and roles. It didn't need to have a twist or surprise me like a person expects from a good mystery or drama tale to make the story spectacular, it was there all on it's own.

[Rilbur]

A good story, with a wonderful ending.

 

Beautiful.

[Kev de Cauchery]

Good Read! Very beautifully written and at times really sad.

 

I love and hate sad stories. And I love and hate this one coz it makes me feel so sad yet the story is so good~ Die for love. This I adore.

 

Nice Story. Will read more from you.

 

 

[Andrew Q Gordon]

A good story, with a wonderful ending.

 

Beautiful.

 

Thanks for reading and commenting - always appreciated.

 

 

Good Read! Very beautifully written and at times really sad.

 

I love and hate sad stories. And I love and hate this one coz it makes me feel so sad yet the story is so good~ Die for love. This I adore.

 

Nice Story. Will read more from you.

 

 

 

I hate sad stories too - almost made this totally sad but in the end I couldn't pull the trigger and have Barh leave completely. Maybe next time.

[Toast]

I just finished reading. I loved the ending. I like the personal told on a epic field of struggle. A love story and a final battle story with lots to think about. Thanks for a very enjoyable read. You know this could have a sequel. LOL. Maybe Please.

[Andrew Q Gordon]

I just finished reading. I loved the ending. I like the personal told on a epic field of struggle. A love story and a final battle story with lots to think about. Thanks for a very enjoyable read. You know this could have a sequel. LOL. Maybe Please.

 

Sequel? Hmmm, maybe a prequel but a sequel could work too I suppose - However, one of the nice things about a short story - a real short story not one of Lugh's over the top, way to long to be short but we humor him because we love him - is that you don't need to 'see' everything about the place or the characters. Not sure I have that vision right now, but I won't rule it out.

 

Thanks for the read and the comments

 

Andy

[phana14]

What kept my adrenaline in check was the gamble that you weren't fibbing in so many posts about loving happy endings. Well, that and having my fingers crossed the whole time I was reading this.

So the process of reading went something like this: Goosebumps--tears--goosebumps-- more tears, and a finale of happiness mixed with sobs.

I really liked this, Andy!

[Andrew Q Gordon]

What kept my adrenaline in check was the gamble that you weren't fibbing in so many posts about loving happy endings. Well, that and having my fingers crossed the whole time I was reading this.

So the process of reading went something like this: Goosebumps--tears--goosebumps-- more tears, and a finale of happiness mixed with sobs.

I really liked this, Andy!

 

Wow, that is some roller coaster - being the total geek/nerd that I can be, I actually cried writing, editing and reading it the first 3-4 times. I was going to leave it that the dragon was NOT Barh, but just couldn't pull the trigger. I gotta learn to do that soon, or else everyone will know the endings before I write them

 

Thanks again for the comments, I enjoy hearing what people think- even if they tell me

 

Andy