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[KingdombytheSea] Social Skills


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#26

Frostina

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Posted 22 January 2011 - 12:42 PM

Yes, Frosty, i did mean to have this out on Friday but this one sentence was bugging me :P

Had a little formatting snafu, too, but I think it's fixed now.

Chapter 5


YAY! its fixed.. and Thank you!! :hug: thank you!!

:)

Posted Image


#27

TetRefine

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Posted 22 January 2011 - 05:07 PM

Ch. 5=Posted Image

Ch. 5=Posted Image

#28

Sara Alva

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Posted 22 January 2011 - 05:27 PM

YAY! its fixed.. and Thank you!! :hug: thank you!!


You're welcome . . . and I think that's the first huggy emoticon I've received, thanks!

Ch. 5=Posted Image

Ch. 5=Posted Image


Glad you liked it . . . it was a pretty fun one to write . . . thinking way back to those college days . . . okay, so it wasn't that long ago :P

#29

Sara Alva

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Posted 23 January 2011 - 01:44 AM

So, um, this is how much time I wasted today. Not that I think the story is so great it merits a cover picture, but I just happened to be fooling around w/ the necessary supplies and the idea popped into my head. Pretty amateurish, so I won't be quitting my day job :P

Posted Image

#30

Andrew_Q_Gordon

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Posted 23 January 2011 - 07:41 AM

So, um, this is how much time I wasted today. Not that I think the story is so great it merits a cover picture, but I just happened to be fooling around w/ the necessary supplies and the idea popped into my head. Pretty amateurish, so I won't be quitting my day job :P

Posted Image


Actually Sara, it is pretty good. I can't comment on the quality of the photo/image cause I wouldn't know good from bad, but the idea and the lay out is great. Original, but not tacky, not focused on the sexual aspect, I mean what's not to like?

Andy

#31

Libby Drew

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Posted 23 January 2011 - 10:34 AM

This summary caught my eye on LJ this morning, and it was a wonderful surprise to see the link lead here to GA. I’m very much enjoying the story so far, especially the smooth flow and crisp prose. I love fiction that lifts me beyond my instinctive need to notice the technicalities of a piece so I can simply enjoy the story. Connor and Jared (Connor especially, of course, as your POV character) feel alive. They strike me as extremely reliable—that is, you’ve done an excellent job building and maintaining them as characters. I’m looking forward to future installments. Thanks for sharing.

Recced on my journal here.
Posted ImageThe rules of love aren't set in stone. My Blog ll My Website II Twitter

#32

AnytaSunday

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Posted 23 January 2011 - 11:57 AM

Ohhhh I like the picture thingy!!! Nice, and especially that there are no half naked men on the cover. Tasteful is good. :P

#33

Sara Alva

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Posted 23 January 2011 - 03:49 PM

Actually Sara, it is pretty good. I can't comment on the quality of the photo/image cause I wouldn't know good from bad, but the idea and the lay out is great. Original, but not tacky, not focused on the sexual aspect, I mean what's not to like?

Andy


Thanks . . . I'm not artistic in the least so this was a little adventure for me :)


Ohhhh I like the picture thingy!!! Nice, and especially that there are no half naked men on the cover. Tasteful is good. :P


Hehe I only have one man available to me for such a thing and I don't think he'd take too kindly to the idea :P

#34

Sara Alva

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Posted 23 January 2011 - 04:00 PM

This summary caught my eye on LJ this morning, and it was a wonderful surprise to see the link lead here to GA. I’m very much enjoying the story so far, especially the smooth flow and crisp prose. I love fiction that lifts me beyond my instinctive need to notice the technicalities of a piece so I can simply enjoy the story. Connor and Jared (Connor especially, of course, as your POV character) feel alive. They strike me as extremely reliable—that is, you’ve done an excellent job building and maintaining them as characters. I’m looking forward to future installments. Thanks for sharing.

Recced on my journal here.


Oh my goodness, you have no idea how much I'm blushing. Great Restorations is the first ebook I ever bought (and I loved it!), so having you rec me is such an incredible honor.

I'm very glad to hear you're enjoying the story and not getting bogged down in the technicalities of the writing. Luckily for me, I have an amazing beta reader who is definitely helping me refine my writing style.

I hope the story continues to entertain, and thanks again for the rec!

#35

Sara Alva

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Posted 27 January 2011 - 10:15 PM

I made Anyta beta this one twice :P (Thank you!!!) and then I messed with it yet again, so sorry for any typos. Think I'll post it and then run off and hide for a little while . . .

j/k. But I am going out of town, so I won't be able to get to the next one until about this time next week.


Oh, and those of you wanting to know a little more about Jared . . . sorry, it's not in this one. But I *promise* it's coming.


Chapter 6

#36

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Posted 30 January 2011 - 01:34 PM

Mr. Jared is quite the hunky stud. Posted Image

#37

Sara Alva

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Posted 30 January 2011 - 09:55 PM

Mr. Jared is quite the hunky stud. Posted Image


Probably not a surprise that I agree . . . seeing as I'm writing him and all :P

Thanks for reading :-)

#38

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Posted 31 January 2011 - 08:59 PM

I gotta say that this is only the second story I've stuck with reading since I've become a member on GA. Not because there aren't mounds of great stories, but because I so often have spouts of ADD and skip all around and can't stay with one story. :P So, you must be doing something very right KBTS. Posted Image

#39

Sara Alva

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Posted 01 February 2011 - 01:52 AM

I gotta say that this is only the second story I've stuck with reading since I've become a member on GA. Not because there aren't mounds of great stories, but because I so often have spouts of ADD and skip all around and can't stay with one story. :P So, you must be doing something very right KBTS. Posted Image


Wow, I'm really honored. And also a bit nervous . . . if you suddenly drop off the face of this thread I guess I'll know you got bored w/ it :P

#40

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Posted 02 February 2011 - 11:17 AM

Wow, I'm really honored. And also a bit nervous . . . if you suddenly drop off the face of this thread I guess I'll know you got bored w/ it :P


Not bored, just distracted. :P But now since I've actually gotten somewhat in depth to this story, there is a much less likely chance I will suddenly disappear and move on to the next one. I started printing out chapters of stories I read, and by doing that I'm much more likely to stay focused on the story as I don't have other things on the computer screen to distract me. :P

#41

Sara Alva

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Posted 02 February 2011 - 06:40 PM

Not bored, just distracted. :P But now since I've actually gotten somewhat in depth to this story, there is a much less likely chance I will suddenly disappear and move on to the next one. I started printing out chapters of stories I read, and by doing that I'm much more likely to stay focused on the story as I don't have other things on the computer screen to distract me. :P


I know what you mean about the distraction thing-- I'm not used to reading online, and there are just sooo many good stories here, but I've found I need to limit myself to just a few or my brain starts to get overwhelmed and I'm not connecting to the characters anymore. I think it's because in my day, I read books cover to cover, one at a time.

I sound so old :P

#42

Sara Alva

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Posted 03 February 2011 - 01:39 AM

In typical me fashion, I've messed around with this chapter since Anyta saw it. I'm trying to save her from having to double-beta all my chapters so as not to abuse the privilege . . . therefore, any remaining errors are mine alone :P

The chapter got rather long, and it felt like too many scenes for one go, so I've split it into two shorter ones. I'll try my best to get the new Ch. 8 out in a couple of days to make up for the shorter length of this one.

Thanks for reading!

Chapter 7

#43

Marzipan

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Posted 03 February 2011 - 06:34 AM

Really good chappy! This is one of the few stories that doesn't make me go back and forth with the previous chappys. I'm currently having a brain meltdown that makes mush of almost everything I'm reading.

I wonder how I'd react if I'd fall for a person with so much lack of confidence. Not sure that would ever happen... But I think getting into a head of Connor makes him really attractive.

 


#44

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Posted 03 February 2011 - 07:49 AM

Re: Chap. 7

I'll try to keep this short.

I'm enjoying your writing and how you convey the feelings and emotions of the characters, and while it was only through a peripheral view, we learned a bit about AJ, Chrissy, and Tate, even if it was only used by Conner to highlight his own percieved short comings.

This should probably be obvious to readers by now, but Connor's. main problem is his lack of self-esteem which comes from his family life. He doesn't place value in what he says because others haven't in the past, so why should anyone else? As I stated earlier Jared will either help him or make this a whole lot worse for Connor because he may develop co-dependency.

I'm curious as always to find out how you plan to devolp thus story. Hopefully you like things being bittersweet because that seems to be how most 1st relationships wind up, IMO

#45

Frostina

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Posted 03 February 2011 - 09:00 AM

Short.. Too short Sara.. U keep us hanging.. :P Please please post soon.. :P :P

Posted Image


#46

Andrew_Q_Gordon

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Posted 03 February 2011 - 09:27 AM

This was a good chapter to transition things to the next step though I had this distinct impression as 'nice' as Jared is being, he is using Connor to satisify a side of himself he is still keeping from most people - I don't think it is deliberate mind you but the whole - 'I canceled our tutoring so I could come here without anyone being suspicious' - and then leaving after their 'hour' is up has the feel of an illicit affair - which poor Jared doesn't realize never works for long. Yes he is being patient and good with Connor but it is for two hours a weeks and always in Connor's room - which is perfect since there is no roommate. Ah well, let's see where this goes.

Oh one last observation - but I am going to hide it in a spoiler as it is of a sexual nature, this way those who don't want to read it won't have to. [like any one is NOT going to open this right?? :rolleyes: ]

Spoiler




for an explanation of the above spoiler, see the below. :whistle:



Spoiler





Andy

#47

Frostina

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Posted 03 February 2011 - 09:29 AM

This was a good chapter to transition things to the next step though I had this distinct impression as 'nice' as Jared is being, he is using Connor to satisify a side of himself he is still keeping from most people - I don't think it is deliberate mind you but the whole - 'I canceled our tutoring so I could come here without anyone being suspicious' - and then leaving after their 'hour' is up has the feel of an illicit affair - which poor Jared doesn't realize never works for long. Yes he is being patient and good with Connor but it is for two hours a weeks and always in Connor's room - which is perfect since there is no roommate. Ah well, let's see where this goes.

Oh one last observation - but I am going to hide it in a spoiler as it is of a sexual nature, this way those who don't want to read it won't have to. [like any one is NOT going to open this right?? :rolleyes: ]

Spoiler




for an explanation of the above spoiler, see the below. :whistle:



Spoiler





Andy


LMAO at the spoilers Andy!! :P :P

Posted Image


#48

Sara Alva

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Posted 03 February 2011 - 06:27 PM

Really good chappy! This is one of the few stories that doesn't make me go back and forth with the previous chappys. I'm currently having a brain meltdown that makes mush of almost everything I'm reading.

I wonder how I'd react if I'd fall for a person with so much lack of confidence. Not sure that would ever happen... But I think getting into a head of Connor makes him really attractive.


lol, I know what you mean about the meltdown thing. I've had to limit myself to about 5 stories at a time. I'm so glad you Connor comes off as attractive to you; I was worried for a while that no one was gonna like him :P
Thanks for reading :-)

Re: Chap. 7

I'll try to keep this short.

I'm enjoying your writing and how you convey the feelings and emotions of the characters, and while it was only through a peripheral view, we learned a bit about AJ, Chrissy, and Tate, even if it was only used by Conner to highlight his own percieved short comings.

This should probably be obvious to readers by now, but Connor's. main problem is his lack of self-esteem which comes from his family life. He doesn't place value in what he says because others haven't in the past, so why should anyone else? As I stated earlier Jared will either help him or make this a whole lot worse for Connor because he may develop co-dependency.

I'm curious as always to find out how you plan to devolp thus story. Hopefully you like things being bittersweet because that seems to be how most 1st relationships wind up, IMO


Thanks! I suppose I can agree w/ you about Connor's problems without giving anything in the story away :P Yup, some major self-esteem problems. And as for Jared and how he may help/hurt . . . well, we shall see :)

Short.. Too short Sara.. U keep us hanging.. :P Please please post soon.. :P :P


I said I would try, didn't I? But I like to read stories, too . . . and every once in a while I have to do that sleeping and working thing . . . :P Thanks for reading, and for egging me on :)

#49

Sara Alva

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Posted 03 February 2011 - 06:42 PM

This was a good chapter to transition things to the next step though I had this distinct impression as 'nice' as Jared is being, he is using Connor to satisify a side of himself he is still keeping from most people - I don't think it is deliberate mind you but the whole - 'I canceled our tutoring so I could come here without anyone being suspicious' - and then leaving after their 'hour' is up has the feel of an illicit affair - which poor Jared doesn't realize never works for long. Yes he is being patient and good with Connor but it is for two hours a weeks and always in Connor's room - which is perfect since there is no roommate. Ah well, let's see where this goes.

Oh one last observation - but I am going to hide it in a spoiler as it is of a sexual nature, this way those who don't want to read it won't have to. [like any one is NOT going to open this right?? :rolleyes: ]


Andy


Okay, as to your first comment . . . time will tell ;)

As to your second . . . well, if you believe your first to be true, he may not only be taking care of Connor's needs, and Connor didn't do so bad w/ his the last time . . . also, I tried to stay away from making my characters "typical" (except for the Brown dorm kids; they really are the artsy types :P) in any case, I hope you don't decide to lob rotten tomatoes at my story for being unrealistic if your prediction doesn't come true :unsure:

#50

Andrew_Q_Gordon

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Posted 03 February 2011 - 06:58 PM

Okay, as to your first comment . . . time will tell ;)

As to your second . . . well, if you believe your first to be true, he may not only be taking care of Connor's needs, and Connor didn't do so bad w/ his the last time . . . also, I tried to stay away from making my characters "typical" (except for the Brown dorm kids; they really are the artsy types :P) in any case, I hope you don't decide to lob rotten tomatoes at my story for being unrealistic if your prediction doesn't come true :unsure:


Haha, of course not. People surprise us all the time, but you can do whatever you like but Jared is a bottom. Having know a few, I . . . well let's just leave it at that. :whistle:

And who said it was/would be unrealistic??? Sheesh, twas a joke. Even frosty laughed and she never get my humor. 0:)


Seriously, I am just playing with you. Really I am, stop laughing, I was. B)

Andy




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