Jump to content

[Dark] The Return by Dark


Recommended Posts

Yours truly has just posted the first chapter of my new story: The Return.

 

Some characters for you to meet:

 

Mordred -- white-haired but youthful, a wandering blacksmith who stumbles into a place called Whispering Cliffs

 

Dmitri -- runs a bakery in Whispering Cliffs and is seen by many there as a good-luck charm

 

Tai -- can see and speak to ghosts, and she'll do anything to make it stop

Marius -- a priest driven to find and resurrect the old ways

 

Along the way we'll also meet Rangsey and Marguerite, and that's the first extra I have for you! :read:

Link to comment

Dear Marguerite,

 

It was a pleasure having met you at the ball a fortnight ago. I enjoyed our conversation immensely. Such impetuousness and courage is seldom seen in young ladies these days and, as I mentioned at the time, I would be pleased to correspond with you. The country these days is indeed lovely and I could only wish that my duties allowed me out more.

 

I am back home now, you see, away from the hustling and bustling of court, and shall endeavor to write you at least monthly, but as you shall have ever so much more fun things to accomplish, I shall expect your letters quite a bit more quickly.

 

From what Lady Adamma said before she whisked you away to meet some other stifling guest, you are about to venture into the frozen north. Take care, if you would, to enjoy the solitude of the heavens some evening and write me back on what you shall experience. I dare say you can convince your parents to allow you the privilege of staying awake until you can write back about something truly spectacular.

 

I await your response with sincere pleasure,

 

Rangsey

Link to comment

I love Mordred. He's like one of my characters... weird, strong and clueless. THere are so many possibiities that my head is spinning. Cant wait for more.

 

 

I watched a video yesterday set in medieval england during the plague and this story captures some of the same things the film did... the fear and suspicion, turning on each other and driving away strangers. There was a sense of madness even though people didn't actually go mad as with your plague. Then, it was also believed that the plague was sent by God. People fell on one of two sides of the fence... they either became overly devout or rejected god altogether and either became pagan or overly superstitious.

 

There is a lot of that kind of atmosphere here. A sense of doom, a creeping paralysis that is mirrored in Mordred. He only 'wakes up' when he approaches Whispering Cliffs.

 

Then there is the settement - locked away and kept safe by the mysterious Dmitri. So is it a coincidence? Is he keeping them safe? Is there soemthing about him... who he is, where he came from or what he represents that keeps the settlement safe.... or is it just the remote location? Perhaps Mordred's coming was ordained. If reality crashes down will it have been his arrival which caused it or will it have be the fact that is was imminent that brought him? Paradox, conecture, legend, metaphor and magic. What a powerful mix.

 

 

Link to comment
  • Site Administrator

This story is great. I was unfortunately a horrid beta for it and didn't help out but you have done a great job so far Dark. The story line is complex and yet it's easy to sink into the story and understand what is happening, even if we don't understand the whole plot yet. The characters are 'real' and you introduce the pain and confusion and the scenery in such vivid details that it's easily imaginable. I know everyone else will enjoy getting to know Mordred and Dmitri and all the other wonderful characters to come.

Link to comment

I watched a video yesterday set in medieval england during the plague and this story captures some of the same things the film did... the fear and suspicion, turning on each other and driving away strangers. There was a sense of madness even though people didn't actually go mad as with your plague. Then, it was also believed that the plague was sent by God. People fell on one of two sides of the fence... they either became overly devout or rejected god altogether and either became pagan or overly superstitious.

Oh, horrors! My evil secret has been divulged. :P I did base the cultural reactions regarding the plague based on the Black Death. I swear some of that stuff gave me nightmares. ;)

 

I love Mordred. He's like one of my characters... weird, strong and clueless. THere are so many possibiities that my head is spinning. Cant wait for more.

 

There is a lot of that kind of atmosphere here. A sense of doom, a creeping paralysis that is mirrored in Mordred. He only 'wakes up' when he approaches Whispering Cliffs.

 

Then there is the settement - locked away and kept safe by the mysterious Dmitri. So is it a coincidence? Is he keeping them safe? Is there soemthing about him... who he is, where he came from or what he represents that keeps the settlement safe.... or is it just the remote location? Perhaps Mordred's coming was ordained. If reality crashes down will it have been his arrival which caused it or will it have be the fact that is was imminent that brought him? Paradox, conecture, legend, metaphor and magic. What a powerful mix.

I do love Mordred. His creation is credited to a very good friend of mine. The first time I tried writing this story, he was not the main character. Shocking, huh? LOL Many many possibilities from here and I'm sure Nephy will guess the truth early. She seems to have a knack for that. :rolleyes: I fell in love with Dmitri the first time I wrote down his description. Hopefully you'll agree with me as you get to know him.

 

 

This story is great. I was unfortunately a horrid beta for it and didn't help out but you have done a great job so far Dark. The story line is complex and yet it's easy to sink into the story and understand what is happening, even if we don't understand the whole plot yet. The characters are 'real' and you introduce the pain and confusion and the scenery in such vivid details that it's easily imaginable. I know everyone else will enjoy getting to know Mordred and Dmitri and all the other wonderful characters to come.

Don't beat yourself up too much, Cia. :hug: You did have a thing or two on your mind! But I certainly hope your optimism will prove prescient.

Link to comment

Dear Marguerite,

 

Business called me back to the city, on a matter of great import, so forgive me for not responding to your letters sooner. Each one I received brought to me a happiness and sense of adventure, bringing back memories of my own childhood. I thank you for that. During these past few weeks, those letters have been my only joy.

 

I still can smile at your sketch of the baron. He is indeed a pompous old fool, but he is a shrewd businessman, nonetheless. In fact, the country could stand to have a few more like him, for he pays a large sum in taxes. Ha-ha!

 

But, you cannot deny that he takes care of his employees. He would be a good master, and would indeed be a good teacher, should you wish to own a merchantry business yourself when you get older.

 

So you are learning to ride the white tigers, are you? That is good practice for when you get to the far north and are introduced to those great white bears up there. The tigers were a gift from Insel, and the baron has spent many years breeding them into the fine creatures we have today. Should you meet a scarred female, named Sheba, please tell her that I apologize for staying away so long and will endeavor to visit soon. The baron swears that the beasts understand much more than we think.

 

Enjoy the tigers, dear Marguerite. I look forward to your next letter with pleasure.

 

Rangsey

Link to comment

Latest chapter being published tonight! :)

 

For now, here is another letter:

 

Dear Marguerite,

 

I've disguised this letter with all hopes that you will receive it. The courier is a special friend of mine, should he survive to place this letter in your hands. I trust that you will know him - or will sense foul play.

 

My child, do not discount your feelings, your instincts will tell you what to do and who to trust.

 

You can confide in the courier - he will relay your troubles to me. I feel that we should be careful in discussing these matters until we can be sure of our safety in doing so.

 

My prayers are with you,

 

Rangsey

Link to comment

Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how you look at it! ;) ), I'm probably going to delay publishing the next chapter. I've got a big job interview on Friday that I'm busy prepping for and the next chap is just not ready. I know -- I'm slacking :thumbdown:

 

Anyway, for you today is the last of the letters!

 

____________________________________

 

My dearest Marguerite,

 

I am writing this letter under the most dire of circumstances. Your old friend, Professor Cesare, will be the messenger, to join you there in Insel; and I can only pray that you are well and far removed from the madness that your Grandfather has unleashed upon us all. His armies are at the Gate, even as I write. Alas! I fear bad tidings for us all.

 

Cesare bids me flee, but I have one last task that must be accomplished. Cesare will, I pray, be able to tell you all upon his arrival. You are the heir, dear child. Dame Masako had always intended for you to follow her as Queen. But, allow an old man his follies, for I feared greatly for your safety and thus prevailed upon old friends to take you South. From here on, however, I will not be able to guide you. You must trust to yourself to know the right course.

 

I pray that I might complete my task and hold the Gates until you arrive, but I fear that I have underestimated the force which Desmond could bring against us. Alas, we have nowhere else to flee and it is my greatest fear that we will fall and there will be no one left for you to save.

 

Such is the nature of this war that I must instruct Cesare to lock up this letter. I will send the key to you -- I must go. The assault begins!

 

May the Gods bless you and keep you from harm. Your servant always,

 

Rangsey

Link to comment
  • 2 months later...

It feels so nice to have posted another chapter to this story. I love the characters, you see. What's better is that I have about half of the next chapter, too. :D

 

I'm wondering if anyone is still reading this forum? If you are, let me know if you'd be interested in reading some more of the background stuff. I won't waste my time or yours if nobody wants to see it. ^_^

Link to comment
  • 1 month later...
  • 2 weeks later...
  • 2 weeks later...

So we know where the dragon comes in, and we've met the girl who talks to ghosts ... where do you think the flute comes in?

 

Just so you know, I wrote two anthology submissions this month, so the next chapter for the Return is going to be delayed. <_< I anticipate posting the new chapter in late August. -_-

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Our Privacy Policy can be found here: Privacy Policy. We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue..