Way the Ball Rolls

[Frostina]

"Zach and Mark trust each other with their lives but as Mark is about to find out, the extra step he takes, just might roll them a little too far..."

 

 

This is my attempt at a slightly longer story than the previous one. Also, its a genre i've never attempted! so...

 

Any thoughts, ideas, suggestions, are more than welcome!

 

The first chapter can be found here!

 

Enjoy!

[AnytaSunday]

What genre are you going for here? Drama? Romance?

 

I think whatever you choose to write, you're gifted enough to do it. I can't tell too much about what you're going for with this premise yet. It's vague (which is good--keeps the mystery up for us).

 

Can't say about the length--need a bit more clue as to the conflicts involved.

 

Still, go ahead--do it! Yay.

[Frostina]

What genre are you going for here? Drama? Romance?

 

I think whatever you choose to write, you're gifted enough to do it. I can't tell too much about what you're going for with this premise yet. It's vague (which is good--keeps the mystery up for us).

 

Can't say about the length--need a bit more clue as to the conflicts involved.

 

Still, go ahead--do it! Yay.

 

Hey Anyta,

 

Thank you for the vote of confidence.

This is mostly a suspense/thriller story! the first chapter is vaugue... yes, but thats just because i wanted sort of an itroduction, to the later chapters!

Its not very long. Just 4 chapters. so you guys won't be hanging on to it for long! lol

The story is done, just have to fine tune it a little bit.

Hope i can deliver!

 

[jian_sierra]

I'm glad to be a part of this story I still haven't read Chapter 3 and 4, but I already have a feeling that you'll deliver. I agree with Anyta, but would go further to say that you definitely have talent in writing. Please don't restrict yourself into editing, you can be both

[Frostina]

I'm glad to be a part of this story I still haven't read Chapter 3 and 4, but I already have a feeling that you'll deliver. I agree with Anyta, but would go further to say that you definitely have talent in writing. Please don't restrict yourself into editing, you can be both

 

thank you!

and you know i'm trying... really hard to get writing.. i just need ideas?

as for me delivering.. you will know.. and soon! as soon as you've read the last two!

[Frostina]

Chapter two... Wake-up Call is live now!

 

please leave me a note!

[Cia]

Where are Zach's pants????

 

 

I think his lack of coffee was affecting you. He kicked off his boxers to help Mark bathe, they talk, he's off to the kitchen to make pancakes. Mark is getting into drawers to put clothes on but Zach doesn't. Also, if he's just kneeling next to the tub why does he need to take off his boxers anyway? I just got this funny visual of Zach being so affected by his lack of coffee that he's in the kitchen waiting for Mark and not even realizing that he's completely starkers! lol I definitely like this first chapter, you created a very good hook with their interactions and the patently false story Mark was spinning. The phone call ending was a bit of an evil cliffe, and in chapter 1 no less!!!

[Frostina]

YAY! i'm Glad you liked it Cia,

 

Where are Zach's pants????

 

 

 

OOps!

 

But.. but.. but... In my defence, he could very well be naked... lol AND in the kitchen AND drinking coffee and by the time he realised that he wasnt wearing pants... it was time to head to bed already!

 

I'm gonna go look as to where i can tape it Gotta go fix it soon!

 

The phone call ending was a bit of an evil cliffe, and in chapter 1 no less!!!

 

 

That's the only one... Sadly!

The story is JUST 4 chapters long (or short.. however you want to look at it!)

[Frostina]

Chapter three On the Spot is published.. please lemme know what you guys thought!