Before i knew i was gay, he was my best friend, and still is... He once came to my house, and i asked to play a game (forgot exactly what it was) something like doctors and nurses, And he was ok with it...
So he put the bath on, and i told him to jump in, and i gave him a foot massage, and he thought nothing of it, and then we went to bed together completely naked... i remember that feeling, of just holding him so close,
and rubbing against him, whilst he was sleeping... And this happened every time he came round, un till he moved away
.A few years later, We was rarely in contact. And i was 13, and he was 14.
i realised, that i was older, and that he knew. that those games. were sexual. (He didn't know about me being gay)..
And he asked me if remembered it. and i couldnt find the confidence to say yes...
1 year later, i confessed, and told him. that i have been in love with him. since that moment. i had in bed with him... and he replied (i did have my doubts) with a smile. but he had a gf...
and he said, you are my best friend, i don't care if your gay... which was a big relief. but i was still very much in love with him. That night we got drunk together...
And that day, we was talking about everything sexual, we do to our selves... etc... he did tell me that, he was not gay.. and i believed him..
So later that night, i remember kissing him a few times... and saying i love you, and he was saying it back.
And then. he told me. about his erection. And asked me if i wanted to touch it? so this was basically my first time doing it. and i remember, touching it. then without hesitation. licking it. and then, it just turned into oral sex. untill he said, i think we should go to bed, and then i knew. that i was going to lose my virginity, to the guy. who i have loved for most of my childhood. for the first few minutes. i was actually moaning. because he was huge :| and i really liked that. but it really hurt first few minutes... and then it just became so wonderful. after that happened. he fell asleep... and i just snuggled against him. and fell asleep also...
Day after... no talking about it... what so ever.
and that moment, was not to be mentioned un till a few years later. where he actually said to me. that the moment we had. was the best he has ever had.
and that he wants to do it again. and we did... and it was for 2 weeks. just us and it was actually love... not just sex. but we was in love...
and after the 2 weeks. we had like a year of emailing and texting. love messages and pictures.
i am 19 now... and he is 21. and we are deeply in love
(still in the closet though)I LOVE YOU SO MUCH
