11 replies to this topic

[podiumdavis]

So when did you first realize you were different? Being gay, transgendered, lesbian, bisexual.

How did you first come to terms with this? Were you one to shun the idea, or did you just know who you were?

What age did you finally realize you were who you were?

I knew I was bi-sexual by the age of around 12. I kind of shunned the idea as a phase of self exploration. But as I grew into my later years; I came to realize that what I felt was who I was and there was no denying the facts of what I took preference to.

I never told my father or mother, so no one basically knows in my family. That’s by person choice, not because I believe they will chastise me, but for my own comfort ability I suppose.

Care to share your story?

[TrevorTime]

I first realized I was gay when I was 13. The problem was, by then I was already involved with swimming, and I knew I would be ridiculed if any of my teammates found out. So I used to cry myself to sleep, hoping it would go away. Of course, it didn't go away, so by the time I was 14 I just got my act together and accepted it.

Not long after that is when I had my first gay experience with another boy. Talk about amazing. It almost felt like I had "arrived at my destination".

I told my mom when I was 15, and she totally accepted me. We cried, we laughed, we bonded. I will never forget that day; it was a defining moment in my life.

[Traveller_23]

I actually kinda laugh about it now. I knew I liked guys and told myself that I was gay when I was around 13. I then decided I would never tell anyone, and I convinced myself I could do this because I liked girls too. It didn't occur to me for quite a while that I might be bi, probably not until I was 15/16.

Took me until summer last year to actually come out and tell people, although that was how I planned it. My family won't react well at all, and I needed to make sure I'd be financially independent, finish uni etc etc before letting the cat out of the bag. I've date girls before, although quite a few of my close friends weren't really that surprised when I told them

[MJ85]

I knew that I liked how guys looked by the time I was in high school. I was particularly aware of it at times when I'd see a guy with his shirt off or otherwise just dressed a certain way. I'd find myself frequently pushing such thoughts of it out of my head (except for...you know, certain times ), and this went on up until I was already two years out of HS, when I finally reached the point where I realized that I might as well face facts: I'm gay, end of story.

Nowhere in this time have I been attracted to females sexually.

[wildone]

I've said it before, so I'll say it again....

I probably first realized I like boys and did something that I really liked when I was six.

Then I continued on knowing that I liked boys and tried to fit that into my life without being discovered. I didn't know the word 'gay' but I did know that not all my friends felt the same, so probably a lot of anguish over 'was I normal'.

In the early teens I started a large collection of gay porn mags (yes, sadly the internets weren't invented by Dan Quayle yet ) The funny thing is that every couple of years all the mags would end up in a dumpster behind some mall or store. I would decide that I wasn't gay. Then a week later would find me buying another magazine.

I probably totally accepted I was gay and unable to change it by the time I was 15/16 but totally kept it to myself Then in Uni I started taking risks and experimenting more and more.

Do I have regrets, yes. Am I disappointed in my evolution, no.

[Y_B]

There's really no question that I like The Cock and I suppose it's been that way forever. I think one of the first times I've really noticed was during a hockey game when I found myself looking at the players and wondering what they'd look like without all the protective pads on rather than focusing on the game itself. As my mom once said casually: men watch a game for the game, women watch a game for the players. I guess I'm lucky enough to get both in 1 sitting The little details of it all is still a work in progress and I have no plans on sharing it with friends or family as of now.

I'd like to think I know who I am, the next step is just figuring out what it means to me and where I'm going to take it, because after-all it's really the things we do with ourselves that define our lives in a much more significant way.

[Jasper]

Well, age eleven I was moved to a single-sex school... Definitely a real eye-opener. Before that I'd had my first crush on a girl aged ten, although I'd felt something for guys before then, but after it's been almost overwhelmingly guys. I'm not suggesting the two are necessarily related except that being surrounded by so many guys probably just forced me to self-realisation far earlier.

So, aged thirteen, I watched Dodgeball--you know, the film with Vince Vaughn--and I thought it was the most incredible thing that the female 'love interest' could just announce at the end of the film that she was bisexual, make out with her girlfriend on camera, and all the other characters would just shrug and be like "Huh... Okay." I was so inspired by how easy it looked that I came out to my parents that night. Obviously it was nothing like it was in the movie, but the end result hasn't been terrible

[CassieQ]

I began discovered I was bisexual in high school. I had plenty of guys I liked, but I couldn't help noticing some of the girls as well. At first, I was really freaked out and tried to rationalize it by telling myself that it was just because the girls were attractive and people were naturally attracted to attractive people. (How much sense did that make)? I finally accepted it and started to explore my feelings when I was in college and had my first same sex experiences. I don't tell many people because I have some homophobic family members and I don't really want all the drama. If I find a woman I want to spend my life with, then we'll cross that bridge when we come to it

[Cyhort]

I've known I liked guys and girls pretty much since I started jerking off. This was back in the dark days before xtube and stuff where if you wanted to see real live 27 year old 18 year olds you needed to join a paysite, so I mostly "used" the free trial sections and the rest of the time free erotic story sites. The story site I used the most had a gay section and I don't even remember why I first looked there but I did and those stories turned me on just as much as the straight ones. I never really had any big "oh my god I like the cock!" moments except this one time that was only like "I think guys are really hot, am I gay? Nah, I like girls too, I'm good." and even though I liked guys I never really thought about having a relationship with one. I just knew that one day I wanted to have sex with a guy. So in middle and high school I did the dating girls thing enough to realize that, finding them attractive or not, I really, really don't like dating them.

So a bunch of years of not dating happened for various reasons and by the time I was ready to try a relationship again I figured "what the hell, might as well try it with a guy" and eventually met my boyfriend and we've been together for more than 4 years and counting Even if we broke up though I can't see myself ever dating a girl again. Being with a guy is just so much better in every way for me that I'd never be happy with a girl.

As for coming out, I didn't do that until about two years ago and I did it in an email to my mom while I was 480 miles away visiting my boyfriend that basically said "you know that girl I've been going out to Ohio to see for the past few years? Well, she's actually a guy. Tell dad ok?" They both took it perfectly fine. Well, my mom cried but she said it was because she felt awful that I didn't feel like I could tell her before then. They love my boyfriend and everything's all puppies and rainbows as far as my sexuality goes.

[Percy]

For the trans part, I was 9 years old, living in a small town in eastern Tennessee, when I began to fully understand how different I was. I was a total tomboy and my best friend was also a tomboy. I was at her house for a sleepover and her older sister started telling us about Renée Richards, who must have been in the news at the time. It was the most exciting, most revelatory thing I'd ever heard. I remember telling my friend, "When we grow up, the doctors can fix us." My friend and her sister were horrified. That's when I started to understand that my friend wasn't a tomboy in the same way I was. She never thought to herself "I should have been born a boy." Still, I remember laying on my back on the bottom bunk unable sleep, I was so happy. I was so excited thinking that everything would be OK when I got older. I could just go to a doctor and have an operation and that would be it. I'd be fixed. I'd be a boy, just like I should have been when I was born.

For the gay part, I was around 13. By then my family had moved to an even smaller town in South Carolina. I was very sheltered. John Ritter's character on Three's Company was the first time I was exposed to the concept of what it meant to be gay. So then I started thinking. "This is weird. I should have been born a guy, but if I had been, I'd be gay." That scared me. I thought I was looking for ways to hate myself. Why couldn't I just be what I appeared to be - a straight girl?

It would be my late 20s before I got my head around it all and basically came out to everyone I knew. A sex change is pretty obvious so you come out whether you want to or not.

[TetRefine]

I realized my same-sex attractions around the start of puberty (age 11 or so). They grew and grew until I could no longer deny them. I accepted the fact that I had same-sex attractions at 16, came out to my parents (unexpectedly and not on my own terms) at 17. I had my first sexual experience with a guy and met my boyfriend at 17 too. Everyone I told reacted well with the exception of my brother. We haven't spoken since the day he found out almost 2 years ago, but so is life.

I live two separate lives essentially now. When I'm at college 400 miles and 6 hours away, I'm open about my sexual preference to all my friends and they know who I am. When I'm back home in the sticks around those types of people and ones I knew from high school, they only know me as a straight guy.

[podiumdavis]

I thank you all for sharing. It's such a liberating experience to know, "I'm not the only one." It's good to know that we can share and support one another if need be. ♥