That Feeling

[furnishedsoul]

Hey guys! This is a thread that I am starting for discussion, comments, concerns, or whatever else for the story "That Feeling" that I am currently posting/writing. If you haven't read it, I think you should! You can find it here. Only one chapter is up now, but I have submitted chapter 2 for approval, so be looking forward to that.

 

Thank you all so much,

 

FS

[Percy]

This is a brilliantly written story. Love how you've put us right inside the protagonist's head. We experience his world with him, all the emotions and then the quick processing of them. We're listening to his internal dialogue as it happens, which is fascinating. This wouldn't work with a less talented writer. You really keep us in his head, no sour notes to take the reader out of the experience.

 

I want everything to go well for Caleb. I'm rooting for him big time. High school in the south with a largely fundamental Christian population...I suspect some surprises, good and bad, lay ahead for him.

 

Great job and I'm glad you're updating the story so regularly.

[MJ85]

I find the "stream of consciousness" style very fascinating. Sure, at times it might seem like Caleb is rambling on and on and on, but...I've seen very few other stories even attempt this style of writing, and being able to know everything that Caleb is thinking gives us, the readers, such a distinct story focus that - it just plain works.

 

My only concern is about Carson, who seems like the kind of girl who wants to pull Caleb out of the closet, and who just won't listen if anyone were to tell her not to, consequences be damned.

 

Looking forward to the next chapter!

 

By the way...for those of you readers who are really into the "emotional angst" type stories, let me say this: This is the story you should be reading!!

 

Seriously, I don't know if it's possible for Caleb to be feeling any more angst than he already is.

[MJ85]

OK, how is it that Caleb will be forced to face up that he's gay to everyone, yet Jake will make out with him and get to avoid it altogether? What a crock.

 

Then again...totally didn't see that coming with Jake. As the chapter went on I did, but prior to this one...no way.

Edited May 30, 2012 by MJ85

[furnishedsoul]

Thanks guys for writing here! Sorry I haven't said anything. I thought the system would alert me if people posted here, but it doesn't (or at least I don't know how to make that available).

 

 

OK, how is it that Caleb will be forced to face up that he's gay to everyone, yet Jake will make out with him and get to avoid it altogether? What a crock.

 

Then again...totally didn't see that coming with Jake. As the chapter went on I did, but prior to this one...no way.

 

Haha- Jake won't escape so easily...

 

Well, I tried to drop very subtle hints, but I guess they were too subtle. Sometimes it is hard for me to keep information within Caleb's very limited and biased first person POV without it becoming almost imperceptible. He only sees and understand what he wants, as we're coming to understand. Caleb sees the world and all the people around him in a way that may or may not be entirely factual. I think this can lead the reader to not always seeing things that are there, because something to Caleb may seem inconsequential or even opposite of it's intended meaning. This is one of the interesting aspects of this style, because the reader is totally limited by one character's interpretation of other character, events, etc.

 

Thanks for reading and I hope you stay connected here. Please ask any questions you want! I'll check back more often, for sure. I do have another story I'm writing if you want to check it out. It's called "The Carrington Way" and you can find it here. It is very different from this story in terms of style (it's third person limited with two POV characters) and theme (not quite so focused on coming out), but it might be worth checking out.

[MJ85]

If you click on "follow this topic", that should enable it to where you'll get notifications whenever someone posts in here.

Edited June 7, 2012 by MJ85

[MJ85]

I can't believe I missed Chapter 9! How did I not see it was posted?

 

After reading Chapter 8, I was wondering if Caleb would ever be capable of being angry and be able to call people on their BS. Chapter 9 fixed that right up.

 

And then came Chapter 10. Where Jake is really, a royal bastard. This piece of advice, from Dad:

 

 

 

“Okay. Well, you need to call him and tell him that Avery was not okay with it. Explain that she didn’t take it well and that he could have possibly caused the whole school to find out.”

“So guilt-trip him?”

“Sure. You don’t need someone to drag you around. You need to nip this in the bud, fast.”

 

 

Spot-on, Dad!

 

Ethan just seems kind of blah, though.

[MJ85]

Yay! Story's back.

 

But oh, Caleb...I actually kind of feel bad for Jake. I dunno...I get the feeling that he's not only having to deal with liking boys, but there's something else on top of that. I also get the feeling that people will be very, very sorry if he were to go off the deep end...

[furnishedsoul]

I know! It's been too long. I've had this chapter written for some time, but life just kept getting in the way (a new[ish] job, starting grad school, family stuff, etc). But now I've kind of ironed out a pretty good schedule so I should be back to normal postings.

 

I think Jake can be a sympathetic character. Part of the story is that everything is told from Caleb's perspective, so all you really "know" is his point of view. Any character could have something going on that perhaps Caleb isn't aware of or has happened "off-stage," so to speak. I think you'll find (as I've tried to allude to in the story), that many of the characters have things going on beyond Caleb's level of understanding. As Carson said, Caleb can have a tendency to be a bit selfish when it comes to his feelings, about himself and others. And I think it's about time for him to start moving beyond that place into some new territory.

[MJ85]

When I saw the title of this chapter, I had a feeling that it alluded to Jake and Caleb, so it was kinda lame to find that issue coming right at the end. It makes this chapter seem pretty short in terms of anything actually happening.

[MJ85]

I feel like their night out is going to amount to one of two things:

 

1. An unexpected surprise - Most likely from running into someone they wouldn't have expected to.

2. Basically nothing - As in, woo hoo, they snuck into a club for the night. Whatever.

[MJ85]

15, 15, 15...

 

"Freak" seems like an apt description for Clark, in general. I mean he all but has dragged Caleb to the club, only to ditch him immediately in search of...I'm willing to be it was just for his next hook-up. Whatever...so much for taking anything he has to say seriously now. I mean seeing as he's already stretched the truth once now...

 

As for Jake...I can't help but think that Caleb may just have to do something in an effort to fight for Jake if he wants to act on his feelings for him in any way. This thing with...this "Will"...seemed like it was never meant to amount to much of anything right from the moment Jake even mentioned that it was happening.

[CLS]

Hi Furnished Soul, I just wanted to say that I think that you do a great job with the stream-of-consciousness style. It's not for everyone, but your writing is colorful, compact and clear. I have seen so much bad writing in this genre that I am SO grateful when someone can actually write so well and hold the reader's attention. You say in your blog that you hope to write a novel, so let me say that you should get around to it soon, and that I hope to read it! 

 

CLS 

[furnishedsoul]

15, 15, 15...

 

"Freak" seems like an apt description for Clark, in general. I mean he all but has dragged Caleb to the club, only to ditch him immediately in search of...I'm willing to be it was just for his next hook-up. Whatever...so much for taking anything he has to say seriously now. I mean seeing as he's already stretched the truth once now...

 

As for Jake...I can't help but think that Caleb may just have to do something in an effort to fight for Jake if he wants to act on his feelings for him in any way. This thing with...this "Will"...seemed like it was never meant to amount to much of anything right from the moment Jake even mentioned that it was happening.

Clark is kind of meant to be a mirror to who Caleb is becoming. Caleb is looking at Clark as a model for what being gay can mean, and not necessarily liking what he sees. Clark hasn't really been a positive character thus far, but we might see something later and Caleb defines for himself what being gay is.

 

 

 

Hi Furnished Soul, I just wanted to say that I think that you do a great job with the stream-of-consciousness style. It's not for everyone, but your writing is colorful, compact and clear. I have seen so much bad writing in this genre that I am SO grateful when someone can actually write so well and hold the reader's attention. You say in your blog that you hope to write a novel, so let me say that you should get around to it soon, and that I hope to read it! 

 

CLS 

Thank you so much! I love hearing positive feedback from you guys, because it keeps me going! Sometimes I feel like I'm just writing for myself, so I am always happy when people out there appreciate it.

 

First person present can be a tricky style to work with, because you have to have a certain kind of restraint. Like, I write backstories sometimes for some of the other characters so that I can know their motivations, but Caleb can't be privy to these unless he witnessed them, or someone tells him. Because the narrator (aka Caleb) isn't omniscient, and is prone to fallibility, I have to be careful to what he knows (and what he doesn't). 

 

First person can also get repetitive, "I did this. Then I did this. Bob said this. I said this. I went here." And sometimes I'll write a bare-bones chapter like this, but this isn't very interesting and you have to flesh it out by this kind of back-and-forth wavering of thought. People don't progress in a linear manner. In our minds we're ping-ponging around thinking about the past and present and future. We worry and ask ourselves questions and answer them and comment to ourselves. I think this is particularly fun with Caleb, as I've written him as a quite articulate and thoughtful person.

 

But alas, I am still perfecting my style, so the novel is still a ways off.

[MJ85]

From the chapter:

She has her head in her hands now, her elbows on the steering wheel. She’s quiet for a while, and then takes a breath. "Knox, okay, Knox told me. A while ago, when things were still weird with all of us. He said Jake had told him some stuff that - stuff he wasn’t even sure about, but he told me. We were all meant to be friends, Caleb. He was worried. I know he’s...whatever, but that doesn’t mean he lied about Jake."

Yes, because Knox doesn't have a self-serving reason to stir shit up, truth or not. At best, it could be that he only knows part of Jake's real history, and is casting judgement based solely on that portion. But then again, we already know what a stand-up guy he really is anyway...

Something about this chapter seems like we're really seeing now that Carson's "interests" for what she thinks is best for Jake...don't necessarily line up with what really would be best for him.

[MJ85]

I get the sense that Knox isn't really trustworthy when it comes to secrets, and that he doesn't really think of anyone except purely in the context of his own benefits, be it physical or otherwise.

 

And Ethan? The sooner he disappears from Caleb's life for good, the better. He's no friend, at all.

[MJ85]

Can I offer one suggestion? You absolutely don't have to do this, but it wouldn't be so bad if you could...

 

 

 

KILL ETHAN.

KILL ETHAN.

KILL ETHAN.

KILL ETHAN.

KILL ETHAN.

KILL ETHAN.

KILL ETHAN.

KILL ETHAN.

KILL ETHAN.

KILL ETHAN.

 

Did I mention...KILL ETHAN?

 

 

 

0:)

[MJ85]

Welcome back! 

 

But why do I have "this" feeling that this is going to have a very very unhappy ending?

[furnishedsoul]

Maybe because I hate happy endings... 

 

Nah, I don't know, I've never responded well to happy endings as a reader...they always feel contrived to me.

 

But it may not be an UNhappy ending. Maybe just....neutral on the happiness scale.

 

And thanks for the welcome. I've really been struggling with this story. Even when I have time to write, it feel like a chore. But I really want to finish it because I like where I'm going!

[Graeme]

I've just read the story up to the current chapter (20) and I've really enjoyed it. I can understand that there's not necessarily a happy ending, but it looks like a real-life ending. People drift into and out of "friendships" (for want of a better word), while a few real friends stick around. Carson and Caleb is an example of a real friendship, though it looks very one-sided from Caleb's point of view.

 

Strangely, I get the impression that Knox really wanted to be friends with Caleb, but that opportunity may have passed. Yes, Knox has hooked up with Avery, but even when that was in the early stages of occurring, Knox was still reaching out to Caleb.

 

None of the characters are stereotypes. They all feel really "human", with the complexity that that entails. So I'm expecting a real-life ending, and not necessarily a romance ending. Some people will still be friends, some people will not be on speaking terms, and some people will be indifferent. What will make a good ending, though, is for Caleb to have learnt something -- a real "coming of age" story in that Caleb matures and establishes some mental stability.