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Bullied Teen Girl Gets Plastic Surgery


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16 replies to this topic

#1

methodwriter85

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Posted 10 August 2012 - 01:01 AM

A 14-year old girl in Georgia got plastic surgery on her ears, chin, and nose in order to stave off bullies and have a better experience in high school. She used The Little Babyface Foundation, which provides free plastic surgery to children in need who have facial deformities.

Bullied Teen Girl Gets Plastic Surgery

This one hit at me emotionally, because when I was in 5th grade, I actually wrote a journal entry about all the plastic surgery I wanted to get, like a nose job and liposuction, because I thought that would make me less bullied because then I wouldn't look like an ugly fat gorilla. I felt for this girl, and hope that her high school experience will be a lot better, as mine was. But if Nadia is expecting the bullies to suddenly turn around and treat her like she's the Beautiful Swan, I honestly doubt that will happen. Bullies are bullies because they like to tear people down- if she's expecting some kind of validation from them, it won't happen. More likely they'll instead call her names like "Plastic Face" or something similiar.

I remember I was sat down at one point by this girl, Aubrey. I was still getting teased pretty heavily in 10th grade, and she told me, "You are an amazing person and don't let anyone tell you that you're not." That's basically how you get through it- you have to come to the realization that the problem is with the person bullying you, not you. 11th and 12th grade were so much better. It wasn't because people stopped being bullies- I still got called names like "gorilla", but because *I* had taken pro-active steps in my life to gain confidence and make good friends. When I had that, the bullies didn't matter so much.

By changing herself, Nadia kind of let the bullies win, in a way. Of course, I can't blame her for doing it- at 14, I would have done it, too. But what I eventually learned(and this wasn't easy and it was one long road) is that you can't make people like you and want to get to know you if they don't want to. And if they're people who decided they don't like you because of superficial things like looks, they're not someone who's worth building any kind of relationship with. You do not need the validation of someone who gets their jollies from tearing someone down, you really don't.

Edited by methodwriter85, 10 August 2012 - 01:05 AM.


#2

Y_B

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Posted 10 August 2012 - 02:00 AM

She just trapped herself in a lose-lose situation.

1) the bullying doesn't stop or gets worse

2) the bullying stops but she just rid herself the opportunity to grow some real gnads.



One of the most amazing girls I knew in school wasn't exactly the most beautiful but she was a f*cking incredible person...like...I was stunned at how capable she was...captain of her club sport, in a top sorority, had social commitments up the ass but maintained a 3.9 gpa, now going to a major med school. Those things didn't come by her having focused on some physical fault and letting that eat up her whole esteem. This 14 year old little girl needs to get a life going based on something other than her newfound looks, which honestly still isn't that great.

#3

ryan jo

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Posted 10 August 2012 - 02:09 AM

Yes, because you telling her to get a life will make her better. Bravo.

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#4

Cia

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Posted 10 August 2012 - 02:13 AM

It's hard, but I have to dig at the parents there. I know that teenagers and kids are brutal. I was a red-headed freckle face glasses wearing pre-teen/teen that was top of my class with an unfortunate last name. I know how brutal kids can be. My parents didn't give us the best of support for that sort of thing, but as Method said, as I grew older I learned how to deal with it.

I've passed that lesson on to my kids. One of my favorite phrases is 'We don't comment on a person's personal appearance in a bad way', as an extension of the 'if you don't have anything nice to say, then zip it!' LOL My kids haven't been the victim of any real bullying, they are still young enough that it isn't too vicious yet. But, boosting their self-esteem and teaching them to deal with the hate that people face frequently in the world is better than teaching them that 'we'll fix it by altering your appearance in a major way'. I mean, contacts and/or hair dye (leery on the latter at 14 still), which are things that many teens use to change their appearance, is a vast cry from actual surgery.

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#5

Y_B

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Posted 10 August 2012 - 02:43 AM

Yes, because you telling her to get a life will make her better. Bravo.


Hey, maybe someone someday may benefit from it.
Can't always use your life as the right assessment can we, boyfriend?

Edited by Y_B, 10 August 2012 - 02:47 AM.


#6

podga

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Posted 10 August 2012 - 04:08 AM

Can't see the videos, but from the photos I honestly don't see what was so wrong with her before. And the plastic surgeon says he operated on "deformities"? That's just wrong.

#7

Ashi

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Posted 10 August 2012 - 08:01 AM

We live in a shallow world, which probably will make you say, "duh!" LOL! So yeah, Podga, if people want to pick on you, they will. I was picked on back in high school simply because I didn't talk much (my English was poor and I was in a place I didn't want to be, so what to expect? But they didn't realize I could understand them just fine). I took steps like Methodwriter did (I was in advanced English class by the end of high school), and my senior year was okay. But where was I? Oh, I wish she didn't have to bow to the society's wrong doings, but you know..., sometimes I am ambivalent about it. Sure, it's the world that's wrong, but let's not hurt ourselves in the process. Some of them may not live to see their adulthood.... That's how bad it could be. I just wrote a response to Edward's post about job placement.... One of them from the article I quoted was "look the part..." I had a co-workers who worked for the org for a long time and she only became a manager after I advanced to her old position. And some people even complained about her advancement and downplayed her achievement just because she didn't look like a manager.... It's very shallow....

We cannot change the world, but we can change ourselves....

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#8

methodwriter85

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Posted 10 August 2012 - 03:15 PM

[We live in a shallow world, which probably will make you say, "duh!" LOL! So yeah, Podga, if people want to pick on you, they will.


People really will pick on you for anything, and it doesn't matter if you're a gorgeous or rich person. Check out Armie Hammer of The Social Network talking about his own experience with bullying in junior high:



It's really amazing to think that someone like this guy, who looks like a Live-Action Disney Prince and comes from a really rich family, could have ever been bullied, but he was. Which just proves your point- if people want to pick on you, they will, and it doesn't matter if you're gorgeous or rich or really cool. Bullies get off on tearing people down, and physically changing yourself doesn't really stop them if they're targeting you. The only thing you can do is to ignore it, and not get angry, because that's what they want.

#9

Krista

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Posted 10 August 2012 - 09:15 PM

Mean spirited people will be mean, no matter who their target is. How good their target looks, how much money, how much popularity - etc. Everyone is subjected to bullying at some point in there life I'd imagine. There's probably something everyone would change on their bodies as well. I'm not going to judge her or her parents - if they all felt that she could not be at her best potential as she was, then they took the steps at changing. I just hope they all realize that bullies will always be there to try to knock her back down. People are entitled to their own decisions and their own happiness, if this brings her happiness then more power to her.

#10

podga

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Posted 11 August 2012 - 12:06 AM

People will pick on you. But my reaction was to the plastic surgeon essentially calling her deformed. Seems like he was basically drumming up more business for his colleagues (and himself, because I doubt everything he does is pro bono).

#11

hh5

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Posted 11 August 2012 - 10:31 AM

she looks fine on the before ... ug on the after ... so she only need her nose straighten
but still the bullying is so wrong

#12

Ashi

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Posted 11 August 2012 - 12:16 PM

she looks fine on the before ... ug on the after ... so she only need her nose straighten
but still the bullying is so wrong


OMG! What are you saying? I certainly hope you didn't say that in her face, because that's like..., bullying!

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#13

hh5

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Posted 12 August 2012 - 12:13 AM

she and the family lucky for a foundation to give free surgery
there are other articles where parents paid out of pocket

its a pity that she never told her mom about the ear teasing
like how does a mother not know about it?

OMG! What are you saying? I certainly hope you didn't say that in her face, because that's like..., bullying!



#14

Ashi

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Posted 12 August 2012 - 12:53 AM

she and the family lucky for a foundation to give free surgery
there are other articles where parents paid out of pocket

its a pity that she never told her mom about the ear teasing
like how does a mother not know about it?


Umm..., I don't think you got my joke (or rather, a humorous gentle nudge..., which I often do instead of outright preaching). Let's try it again.... If you said she only needs her nose straightened in her face, I think she may not take it as a compliment. Better than telling everything about her is wrong, sure, but.... See what I mean?

And you know..., if even the mother criticize her, that's pretty sad. Let's not rub it in is all I am trying to say.

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#15

hh5

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Posted 12 August 2012 - 02:31 AM

why would you think her mother would criticize her own daughter ...

you missed that perhaps the mother is busy with her cerebral palsy son
you think she not know about that?

why are you bothering about jokingly putting words in people mouths?
its history she had the parts of her face changed
to agree on one of the three or any or none ... doesn't change her decision ...

the risk she takes is the inherent risks of surgery ... and the world hasn't changed ...
the one's calling her names .. hasn't learn the risks ...
her surgery was long before the anti-bullying laws are in effect ...
she knows she should report bullying to her teachers, councilors, and principals or church ...

so this nudging ... perhaps you're bullying ... but just need the excuse

for the public we don't know much of how the mother took charge of the situation of 10 years
we do know it took her daughter's nagging to change the mother mind about the situation
and find the luck of a foundation to make her wish come true

think of the years of not seeking support from her family, school, or church
that's what we have to teach our kids about the issues of bullying
training them how to protect themselves from it

what do you know about it?

do you know much about the risks of surgery?
Do you know the least is best (surgery) when you weigh the risks she taken?

hey what if there was no surgery for her?
much of the parent is to learn to teach her kid about what god gave her ...
perhaps the bigger job is to re-build the character of her daughter
also get on the case with the school in regards to bullying


Umm..., I don't think you got my joke (or rather, a humorous gentle nudge..., which I often do instead of outright preaching). Let's try it again.... If you said she only needs her nose straightened in her face, I think she may not take it as a compliment. Better than telling everything about her is wrong, sure, but.... See what I mean?

And you know..., if even the mother criticize her, that's pretty sad. Let's not rub it in is all I am trying to say.


Edited by hh5, 12 August 2012 - 02:32 AM.


#16

Ashi

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Posted 12 August 2012 - 02:59 AM

Okay.... Sorry.

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#17

hh5

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Posted 12 August 2012 - 04:44 AM

Bravo well said

Here's another Story ... a CTO ... who's too arrogant to be boss ... who causes a high turn over rate ... he hasn't answered to his bad decisions ... and being too full of himself ...
No one wants to talk to him ... because he makes everyone in the dept unhappy ... he doesn't understand what makes a database inefficient ... he'll just blame every programmer on the team ...
Because he's part owner ... there is no one making him accountable for his actions ... he doesn't transfer ownership of his work ... he doesn't inform the team that he's made changes to the database that may affect software ... he doesn't learn to respect the knowledge of the team ... because he doesn't want to listen ... he only wants to do new stuff ... but is never responsible for his errors ... he sends the team two steps back ... for every step forward he thinks he makes

It not just shallowness ... but also hypercritical too ...

on a plaque for Confucius ... name one word that the world needs .... consideration ...

Boy Abunda ... say his people needs ... forbearance

so does this CTO ... look like the part ... he might ... until he bites your head off ... tosses your body into the dumpster

We live in a shallow world, which probably will make you say, "duh!" LOL! So yeah, Podga, if people want to pick on you, they will. I was picked on back in high school simply because I didn't talk much (my English was poor and I was in a place I didn't want to be, so what to expect? But they didn't realize I could understand them just fine). I took steps like Methodwriter did (I was in advanced English class by the end of high school), and my senior year was okay. But where was I? Oh, I wish she didn't have to bow to the society's wrong doings, but you know..., sometimes I am ambivalent about it. Sure, it's the world that's wrong, but let's not hurt ourselves in the process. Some of them may not live to see their adulthood.... That's how bad it could be. I just wrote a response to Edward's post about job placement.... One of them from the article I quoted was "look the part..." I had a co-workers who worked for the org for a long time and she only became a manager after I advanced to her old position. And some people even complained about her advancement and downplayed her achievement just because she didn't look like a manager.... It's very shallow....

We cannot change the world, but we can change ourselves....