Summer in Muskoka

[faxity]

Hey everybody! I'll start off with a few questions, so you guys don't have to go through the awkwardness of trying to figure out what to post like I am now XD. Feel free to ignore the questions entirely if you feel like posting something else, though. This is just an ice breaker XD

Who's your favorite character and why?

Did you like the cave, or was it too creepy?

Do you think Tommy should get a girlfriend, or should he be the rich bachelor forever?

 

I love to get any sort of feedback, and I promise I won't be offended, so feel free to criticize XD (I'd prefer if it was constructive, because "your character development is shit" gives me an idea of what to fix, versus "your writing is shit" lol). I'm also open to suggestions, so if you think something would improve the story, please share!

 

OK, thanks in advance for any and all responses XD I can't wait to see what you guys think about the story!

[Jaro_423]

I think Fiona is the spunkiest character by far, but I have to say Ben and Asher are the winners for the best characters. They are such a beautiful couple and the picture of them that Rano did is wonderful. Really brings them to life! But you've made Bernie and Martha likeable too, and they surely have a story of their own as well.

 

Yes, you could do a lot to bring Tommy into the story. He is an interesting character with an interesting past, so that could be added in too and capitalized on. Also there's some reason for him being single at this point. How old is he anyway? Definitely lots of questions about him. Then he disappears to visit his friend. Who is this friend? Do we know whether it is male or female even?

 

There's also all the other youngsters in the village that haven't yet been properly introduced and exploited. So plenty of development that can still be explored.

[faxity]

XD 'spunky' is such a good way to describe Fiona! I never really planned on making her a big part of the story, but she pushed her way in anyway, and I'm glad she did. She's one of my favorite characters that I've written lol. I agree with you about A&B being the best, though. Asher is my personal favorite, and he started to show more of his quirky personality in the chapter I'm hoping to release today ('Friday'). I haven't really thought about Martha and Bernie's backgrounds, but I can see possibilities on the horizon XD

 

My opinion is that Tommy's single because he isn't looking for a gold digger, and because he's been too focused on helping everybody else to find time for himself. He's somewhere around thirty (I guess I forgot to mention that in the story XD), and his friend still hasn't taken shape in my mind. I have an idea of his friend's personality, but other than that all I know is that (s)he lives on nearby Lake Joe. This friend will be playing a bigger part soon, though.

 

Lisa suggested a bonfire on the island to bring them all together earlier, and I fell in love with that idea, so we'll be seeing plenty of everybody else, too XD

 

So what was your favorite scene so far, and what did you think of the cave? Also, is there anything you'd want to see in the story? I'm trying to get an idea of what the rest of their summer's going to look like XD

[AceKebabs]

Fav character is definitely Asher i got no reason for it tho i just like him lol. Martha and bernie scares me in yhe beginning lol. Tommy is quite interesting. I always imagine him tobe somewhere between 40 and 50 years old tho, with a hawaiian shirt on and socks and sandals lol! I dont know where i got that idea. The cave is jut insane. I'm claustrophobic myslef and i kinda didn't like the idea at first but it turned out cool

[faxity]

I'm glad that's not just me XD! haha I get a 'spooky voodoo couple' vibe from Martha and Bernie whenever I read over that first meeting too. I don't think I'll ever get that image of Tommy out of my head XD the shirt would fit him so well! I'm glad the cave seems less creepy later on lol I was worried people wouldn't like it. Are there any characters you want to see more of? I can see a space opening up for one of the village kids to score a bigger role, and I'm still undecided about who it should be XD

[AceKebabs]

Hmmm of course i like to see the more of our cute couple but for the village kids....i dont remember who's who XD

[faxity]

Yeah, I really need to give them all better introductions XD that'll be coming up soon, hopefully!

[Jaro_423]

Difficult to say which was my favourite scene as I really like how you have taken us through this story. Maybe the feeding of the deer where Ben was so enjoying being close to Asher and having that excuse to whisper to him and be so close. I loved the revealing of his humming which wasn't described in that scene but in the last chapter. It would have added another element of sweetness to the scene. Then there have been the funny scenes like when Fiona skyped and got them to come out to each other in such a bold way and the heart-stopping scene where they nearly drowned. But that made way for the tender appreciation of each other and the total elimination of any inhibitions in the reveling of just having each other and enjoying each other having so nearly lost each other. I wonder if Rano is going to create some more of his wonderful pictures of these two lovely guys. I hope so. Between the two of you I am being transported in delight. Reading was never better!

[Jaro_423]

Oh, I love the cave. It has this scary element to it but that's what makes it such a rush. So looking forward to them really enjoying each other in the total privacy of the cave too. It brings back memories of exploring caves in my youth (safer ones on land! Lol). And its such a place that is totally theirs in which they can shut out the whole world and just be them in their little world. It so inaccessible from everyone else. Such a great idea. So cosily romantic.

[faxity]

XD Thanks! That's really heartwarming to read . Personally, I liked writing the dentist scene the most, because I got to let Asher's quiet, weird side out lol. Also, as a funny fact, I never actually meant for them to come out to each other on that camping trip, and I never intended Fiona to have anything to do with it. It kind of just happened when I was writing that scene, and I decided I liked it XD. I hope Rano finds inspiration to paint another TIS picture too There's a lot of other stories out there that deserve a painting, though, so I doubt TIS will get a second one lol.

 

Awesome! I hated to think everybody was finding it too creepy lol. I think of it as just a quiet place that can be their sanctuary when they need it, so I'm gonna work on de-creepy-ifying it lol. I want more of the cozily romantic part you mentioned than anything else XD

[Rano]

I’m quite pleased to read that I’m not the only reader/follower of this “feel-good” story that has entertained some stray thoughts about Tommy. Like Jaro, my attention was also drawn to the “fact” that there might be more to Tommy than is actually revealed at present, especially considering the fact that he went to visit his “friend,” and just as Jaro, I was wondering whether the “friend” is male or female. Maybe Faxity subconsciously and without meaning to do so, gave a subliminal hint here. Maybe its just a gay-thing heh heh and I shouldn’t read more into the situation than is necessary. But I couldn’t help but wonder... As for Tommy’s age, I’ve formed an image of a guy in his early to mid thirties, and just as Peter Piper, I imagined him wearing some kind of Hawaiian floral shirt, but with khaki bermudas and sandals without socks and, I may add, with the sexiest pair of feet you can imagine

 

 

It is rather difficult for me to single out one specific character, especially where Ben and Asher are concerned. I fell in love with both of them. Huh-uh, no, both of them are equally esteemed in my eyes, and they complement one another so perfectly, and I just love the way how Faxity allowed their relationship to develop in such a respectful and endearing way. Although I must add that every now and then I’ve sighed some deep sighs of frustration due to their display of respectability towards each other. I must also confess that at times when Ben was restraining himself not to give in to his impulses, I felt like jumping in and applying some paraffin or turpentine under his cute butt to help him on and get going!

 

 

The scenes where Ben observes Asher while the latter is fast asleep, I found to be tender and ever so romantic. These scenes are beautifully and vividly described. I was able to identify with Ben in so many ways. I mean, I also happened to be a teenager once upon a time, and I happened to experience very much the same kind of frustrated yearnings that Ben had to endure. Faxity, you’ve pulled these scenes off in a brilliant way. Oh, and the constant taking of pictures—I  just loved that (I’m never without my camera...)

 

 

I actually like the “creepiness” of the cave, it is part of the Island’s secret. No, please don’t even dare “de-creepy-ifying” that cave—it already has lights installed! And it ads a different type of suspense and atmosphere apart from biting nails as to when Ben is going to loose self-control and jump on delightfully handsome Asher heh heh and I make no apologies because that’s the way I experienced these scenes as the story gradually unfolded. Here I want to add how much I enjoyed the pace you’ve set for the story to develop—not too slow and not too fast; a well balanced ebb and flow in the pace.

 

 

I think Lisa’s idea of a get-together and bonfire on the island is so kief (for you guys that don’t know this word, it is Afrikaans for cool   ) and provides some space for even more intrigue, eh?

 

 

The whole story is just wonderful, but I’ve found the dentist excursion and what follows quite a “highlight.” Asher’s reaction to the anesthetic is hilarious, and Ben’s understanding, patience and support is commendable—one of many reasons I can’t single out just one of our two boys as a favorite

 

 

As a GA-member I’ve read some excellent stories so far, and I’m totally taken with this story as well, and in my not so humble opinion I classify this story together with some of the very best that I’ve had the privilege to read and enjoy.

[faxity]

I must also confess that at times when Ben was restraining himself not to give in to his impulses, I felt like jumping in and applying some paraffin or turpentine under his cute butt to help him on and get going!

lol I wish I could like comments more than once XD Having to keep them restrained is one of the hardest things I've done to date lol. There were so many points where I wanted to throw in more than they were comfortable with, and I had to tone it down, to my frustration XD

[Jaro_423]

Oh, Rano, you are so funny with your comments and they absolutely hit the button too! I love reading what you have to say and really look forward to your first writing being posted. Soon? And thanks again to Fax for making this Forum and for writing such an appealing story. Thanks also to all at GA for making all this possible. It is such a delight to interact on this site. Faxity, keep up the good work. You doing such a fantastic job of writing.